This is a poem that I wrote about my mom on March 2nd, 2004. Just to warn you all, it's really intense. BTW, it is really long. Sorry.

Hate
By: Mamila Cervantes

I hate everything about you.
I hate that you can breathe. I hate that you talk to me like I am a little girl.
I hate that I know you.
I hate that you live.
I cut myself to block the pain, you make me feel.
And it feels good.
It tastes good.
The copper taste in my mouth.
I love it.
Open your eyes, see with them.
You are blinded with love, with the man I hate.
You let him do those things to me.
I wish you could tell me why.
Answer me. I need the answers that plague me.
Not knowing. You need to answer me.
Can't you see this?
I tell you whats wrong, and yet you don't listen.
Why do I even bother?
I think I should have killed this man in his sleep.
Before you could love him.
And I cut myself up even more, because I didn't.
The fucker deserves it.
He deserves a life in hell.
He didn't deserve you.
But it doesn't matter to you.
You fell in love with the first person you first met outside of marriage,
And it sucks!
I will no longer see the light of day, with you mentioning him every second of it.
It takes all I have to not yell when you say his name.
I know that you love him more than you love me, don't deny it.
Because if you really loved me, you would have left his sorry ass after what he had done.
I wish I had the courage to kill myself, to end this misery inside.
But I don't and this really sucks.
I have been making plans on how to do it though.
Just in case I ever do, it'll be there.
I hear you stomping around, as is you are stomping on my heart.
No worries though.
I have had it done so many times, it doesn't bother me as much.
By you, guys, friends, you get used to it.
I have scars on on my arms, legs and heart.
I bleed from every one of them.
But you don't seem to care.
You don't pay attention to me when you should.
You don't even bother to see the scars.
No one does.
Not you, dad, Connor, Will, or anyone else.
I don't even try to hide, because it doesn't make a difference.
I guess neither of you care, you should.
You guys are family, it's pretty fucking ridiculous.
It's funny, I haven't even started to cry.
Because, I know that if you do read this, you still wouldn't listen to me!
I wish you would, you need to.
I need you to move on from loving this fucker. I've moved on from my first love, and I was only 16. You won't meet anyone if you don't get over him.
And yes, you will die alone if you don't.
Matter of fact, we all die alone.
No one is there with welcoming arms.
No one is along for the ride from this life to the next. Except you! You need to see this, before you die.
Realize it.
You could be in your lover's arms, but still, you will die alone.
I know it's hard, but it's just something you will have to do.
Millions of people do.
I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!

Hey, it's my BIRTHDAY IN 3 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be 20. One more year, man, ONE MORE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!!!!

Hey. I am leaving on April 9th, to go to Georgia and spend time with my boyfriend Will. I wiil try my hardest to come on here as much as possible. Since I will have my laptop while I am down there I should be on regularly. And when I get back I will post pictures of everything down there on here. I hope to talk to you all while I am down there!

Finally!!!!!!!!!!!! I am moving to GEORGIA!!! Woo-hoo! Going to school, being closer to my temple and the love of my life!!! YYYAAAYYY!!!!!!! Who else lives in Georgia?


btw, look! My 50th post! Sweet!!!

Ok. It has been bothering me for soooo long Does anyone know what song this lyric goes to: "You'll say to no one..." ? It is annoying so much because I don't know which song it's from. I believe it's an Evanescence song, but maybe I am wrong. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

?

http://www.evboard.com/showthread.php?t=27142

Is that what you're looking for?

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Hey! I really like your poem in the first post...very strong images.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that line is from 'Missing', a very awesome song I must say!

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