I think there was a thread about this before the 'Crash' so I thought I'd revive it seeing as it is what I see as one of most common problems for kids today and it can have a huge effect on their future development.

I was bullied throughout most of my high school life, with various degrees of severity. I went through all the 'common' things - guilt, I blamed myself, I thought I'd done something wrong, I felt worthless and stupid and pathetic and it completely destroyed my self-esteem. I became depressed and suicidal, and in the end I completely cracked - one day one of the bullies pushed me too far and I hit her.

If anyone wants to pm me feel free, and anyone who is going through this - I hope you know that you are not alone, and you are most definatly not worthless. You are a beautiful person whatever others may tell you, and those people who are too shallow to see past supeficial differences are not worth worrying about.

I have only had servre type of bullying this year. Other years it was pittaful, immature stuff. But we are 17 now and in year 12 at school, which has hert me the most because i thought these people were to be trusted and people who wouldn't hurt me.

One of the guys started last year, making cracks about me wanting to kill myself. But it was the start of my depression when i thought no one new. So i brushed it off, and thought he didn't know anything. Then another guy plays mind games with me, liking me one minuet hating me the next.

Then this year, like a few months ago it got worse. The first guy Nev he started to kill me to kill myself, like saying why don't you jump off the roof. And at this time every one knew i had depression and thats what hurt me so much. So many people suporting me and encoraging me then this little voice in my ear pushing me to go the other way. Then one day i was talking to my friend and said how my necklace broke in my sleep. I wasn;'t speaking or looking at this guy but he still turned around and said "Why don't you wear more to necklaces to bed, maybe you will choke." it hurt me so much but i said nothing. though i felt the anger build inside of me.

The other Guy Jeff, he just got more violent. If one of the guys said a joke about him he would laugh then if i repeat it he would come over and slap me. I got so mad. He would always find ways to hit me in some way. Or sometimes he would stand there and grope me and tell me he loves me. I hated it more than when he slapps me.

Jeff doesn't hang around us. And Nev got words from me and words from my sister and he hasn't said a word. But it still hurts me because my friends treat him the same, even after all the shit he said and all the pain. I don't know why i just expect my friends especially my best friend to feel some anger like i do towards him. Maybe its stupid to want a friend to stick up for you. Sure i have friends that are there to suport you but sometimes you just wan't some one to protect you. Is that wrong? I feel i am being selfish and wanting people to fight my own battles.
But i just want Nev to hurt like he hurt me. Especially when i trusted him, he was meant to be a friend.
I still see him wanting to say stuff, and it makes my blood boil, and it got me so mad when he rolled his car and people thought he was some sort of hero because he only walked away with a scratch.

Its mean i know. Sorry i am rambaling. I just feel i can;t speak to my friends about this because they really don't care and don't think its a big deal. Do you think i am wrong in the ways i think?
Really i am sorry for the long post.

I don't think you are wrong at all. It's only natural to expect our friends to support us and stick up for us when we need them but unfortunatly sometimes that doesn't happen. Often it is because the friends are afraid that if they stick up for the victim they will become the next targets of the bullies. There's nothing wrong with wanting your friends to support you and it's not a case of 'having someone to fight your battles for you' it's a case of not wanting to fight those battles alone. That's totally legitimate and you should not tell yourself otherwise.

Do you have no-one in your group that you can speak to? ie. do you have a best mate or anything? If you can then be honest, tell them exactly how you feel and that you need their support right now. If not a mate then someone else - parents, teachers, relatives etc? I don't mean to preach as I'm sure everyone knows this - but you really need to tell someone. Bullies thrive on fear, on the fact that they can get away with it because people won't tell anyone. This needs to be put to a stop and the best way to have any chance of stopping this is to tell someone. I'm not going to pretend that this always works - it didn't in my case, but at least if you tell someone you are no longer dealing with it on your own.

If you keep it all inside and allow it to eat away at you and begin to destroy you from within, which it will do if you never tell anyone, this is when you put yourself at risk of going to far. Of 'cracking' like I talked about. I'm sure you do not want to do something you will later regret no matter how you feel about the bullies and what they have done to you.

Bullies are cowards and are very insecure within themselves. You need to speak up and get this problem out in the open. These people do not expect to have to face the music for what they have done and therefore they should be forced to.

Good luck, please keep us posted and remember that you are worth a million times more than them. No-one has the right to make you feel upset or worthless, just as they do not have the right to mess around with your mind. Be strong, remember who you are and the important things in your life and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it is dark at the moment you will see the light one day and you will emerge as stronger person.

I've been bullied for years, since the age of five until like uhm 1 year ago. It has devestated me, and everything in my actual life depends on it, which I regret. Now it's just people insulting me and stuff, but no daily bullying by certain people anymore.

I learned not be nice anymore, I used to loan people money, just a matter of being nice. That was one of the (wrong) consequences of the bullying, I wanted to be kind so people would "like" me and leave me alone.
I used to cry alot as a child due to that bullying, it's cost me a lot of things I miss now.

Not to sound negative, but it quite ruined my life and childhood. Your life and future depend on your childhood, after all.

I still feel the way I used to feel when I was bullied, but other than that, I think I'm coping quite well with it. I'm starting to come up for myself, in any way there is. One day I gave up and thought: fuck being nice, no loaning money anymore. I don't owe them anything.

Yeah, I think it's quite devastating to know how much affect bullying has on your (further) life and mind.

i was and still am bullied all my junior high (im going to grade 8) it actually is my fault really because i was the one who was stoopid enough to tell people so yea i kinda deserve it ^^;;; i was in severe depression earlier in grade 7 hopefully it will go away

I think there was a thread about this before the 'Crash' so I thought I'd revive it seeing as it is what I see as one of most common problems for kids today and it can have a huge effect on their future development.

I was bullied throughout most of my high school life, with various degrees of severity. I went through all the 'common' things - guilt, I blamed myself, I thought I'd done something wrong, I felt worthless and stupid and pathetic and it completely destroyed my self-esteem. I became depressed and suicidal, and in the end I completely cracked - one day one of the bullies pushed me too far and I hit her.

If anyone wants to pm me feel free, and anyone who is going through this - I hope you know that you are not alone, and you are most definatly not worthless. You are a beautiful person whatever others may tell you, and those people who are too shallow to see past supeficial differences are not worth worrying about.

When I was still at school I have been bullied too from time to time...Because of that I've been suffering from depression and a low self-esteem for a long time, but thanks to a lot of counselling on that, my situation has improved enormously. Inner peace is the key to happiness and to find that inner peace you've got to look inward. Look at your positive aspects to grow your self-confidence because no-one will or can take them away from you, especially not the biggest assholes in your school. You don't need those kind of persons anyway.

=< I used to be bullied when i wasnt smart. Well, i mean- when you're a kid, odds are- you cant snap back with some home-hitting retort...but... most people wont take a verbal shot at me because I'll dish it back. And that came from years of verbal abuse at school, haha! So you gotta build a defense. =p Playing the victim is fun and all for a while, but i had enough. Im not a bully, myself...i just call it self defense. =) If im struck (verbally, physically), i'll strike back. The end. Playing the victim for my entire elementary/middle school life just wasnt doing it for me. I suppose i found my motivation from the inside- i was just tired of being a victim.

As a result, however, some people would call me cold or aloof or distant sometimes- I build calousness towards people in general- whether it be praise, compliments, insults, etc. But I couldnt just be a pincushion forever- I had to build -some- sort of defense.

Bullying is crap. And im preaching to the choir, but even the random insult (in serious context) "You are stupid" leaves marks on you. How?:
1)"You are stupid!" So then you think 'Am i really?'
2) You think about why the person called you stupid. 'Maybe I really DID do something stupid.'
3) So I must be stupid.
Boom. Tagged. So begins your self-psychological inferiority of "I deserve it" and "Yeah im stupid. Its true".

As stupid or bullheaded as this can sound- my best advice towards bullying is to fight back (corresponding, though. If you're verbally attacked, dish it back. Etc.). Or, try this: When someone insults you or randomly flips you off, or even if you're driving and some angry mom flips you off, just smile and glance. You'd be surprised how this reaction catches the offender off guard and leaves them a bit "..."

I was bullied in elementary but it stopped when I finally beat the crap out of the girl that was doing it. Wasn't the right thing to do but I didn't think at the time that I had a lot of options. I hate the popular people at my school and so we don't get along and after I had a personal problem at school and the next day they were calling me crap...but overall they leave me alone because they know I can beat them if it ever came down to it.

It wasn't horrible bullying that happened to me, but it happened. It was my last year or elementry (grade 6) and there was this girl who moved in across the hall from me in our apartment building. She was going to go into grade 5 and we were friends and all to start off with. But she kept coming over all the time and was really starting to be annoying so i told her not to come over anymore. After that whenever she saw me she would always insult me and one time she wouldn't let me leave the alley.
My friends and i would always yell at her, but she never did stop. We moved away due to her, and my family isn't the only one who has. Supposedly a family in another building moved to get away from her.
It doesn't bother me anymore, i've basically forgotten about it and when i talk to my friend Emily, we laugh about it because she was so stupid and all.

It's best, really, to just realise that its not your fault and to talk to someone about it.

I was bullied during the three years of junior high!
It was the worst period of my life!That gang made my life a hell!!
They were calling me names,I couldn't speak to no one at school and I even couldn't concentrate on my class!!I was depressed for almost a year even though I had friends out of school but finally I overcame it!I realised that I couldn't let they affect my life and I shouldn't so I started studing very hard and then people started talking to me like before and found out that I wasn't the person they were saying!When I went to high school and saw them stuck to junior I had a very mean smile that made them furious but they couldn't affect me anymore!!

Its your life,no matter what they say,no matter what they do,don't cease being yourself!!Your self-esteem will help you!!

As Frozen said - you should never forget who you are. Most importantly, no matter how easy it may seem at the time you should never try to change yourself to fit it.

When I was in grade 8 and getting bullied constantly they used to make comments mostly about how I never wore any brand-name clothes. So one day I just got totally sick of it and thought 'well, if I get some brand-name clothes they will stop bullying me'. So for my birthday I got some sneakers, a hat, jumper and tracksuit in various 'cool' brands. The day after I went out wearing them and ran into one of the bullies. She laughed herself silly at me, saying 'oh my god, Vicky wearing Adidas?!!!' It had backfired on me in a big way and that was one thing that hurt me the most in my life. However, at the same time it taught me a very important lesson - you can't change who you are. If people can't see past superficial differences or what clothes you were they are not worth bothering about. Find the people who can see what's on the inside. Those are the important people.

I just wanted to share that with you as I thought it may be helpful.

Chii_chan - whatever you may have told people still doesn't give them the right to bully you and make you feel upset and inferior. Do not blame yourself. If they can't handle differences they are shallow and immature. Have you spoken to a professional about your depression? If it's severe you may need assistance to get rid of it. Depression is nothing to be ashamed about - plenty of people experience it at some point in their lives.

I'm glad so many people have chosen to share their experiences. It shows people that they are not alone. You are all such strong amazing people to have made it through.

Or, try this: When someone insults you or randomly flips you off, or even if you're driving and some angry mom flips you off, just smile and glance. You'd be surprised how this reaction catches the offender off guard and leaves them a bit "..."

Or do what I do and not even acknowledge their presence. I'll honk at someone or whatever and then ever so casually glance at them out of the corner of my eye to see if they're casting me a withering gaze. Most of the time they are, so it must infuriate them even more that I treat them as naught but a bothersome gnat. Filthy specks marring my pristine existence, if you will. AND WE BRUSH THEM OFF.

Speaking of honking, I frequently get glimpses of insight while waiting for the light to turn: I'll get this feeling that I'm going to have to honk at the person to get their ass in gear, and usually I'm right. I dub it my Go, Dumbass! sense, as my honking is always accompanied by me shrieking that.

One time I was all bold and honked at this guy in front of me, who was slightly intimidating in his own right--but the intimidation factor was doubled because his truck was twice the size of mine. (My sense had also tipped me off about him.) I honked and he reacted in the most volatile way I've ever seen: As he started to move it, he began gesturing wildly in the rearview mirror and contorted his face in a multitude of unsavory expressions. So naturally, I gun it and start to pass his ass and see him looking in my direction out of my peripheral vision. Again, he was a speck.

In another instance, some middle-aged guy felt slighted by something I did (which was completely unwarranted, but it's hard to describe so w/e) and pulled up next to me, stopping short of the actual intersection (I was a couple cars back). I could see him just glaring at me and making all kinds of angry, obscene gestures, but my gaze remained fixed in front of me. Then I played stupid and started adjusting my radio, just going, la la la!

Giving people the brush-off like that is the best option, I think. Otherwise you run the risk of back-and-forth retaliation + road rage. And with the number of batshit insane people nowadays, you never know if that middle-aged man vainly cussing you out (hi, I can't hear your shoutings WITH MY WINDOWS ROLLED UP) has a gun in the backseat. So we opt to diffuse tension instead.

Anyway, back to bullying: 9th grade was really bad for me, but it crescendoed when my tormentor made a comment about how a friend of his wanted to/was going to take me into some remote reaches of the desert and have his way with me. At first I was all repulsed and scared and everything. But after thinking about it recently, I'm like, thanks. I'M GLAD I'M DESIRABLE. *bats eyelashes*

Turning positives out of negatives is always good: Doing so spurred me into my weight gaining escapade. (6-7 pounds and counting! I went from a lithe 125 to a bloated 131 so far.) Not long ago, I told this other non-Evanescence loving coworker of mine (she's a little short + stout... she used to be thin though) how much I weighed. She was like, "You bastard!" And I'm like, "Jealous?" *flaunts it* She admitted jealousy. The sad thing is that she's like 5'4 and I'm about 5'9-5'10 and she weighs more than I do. :X

thanks heartstringz the depression has died down now but i do get randomly sad for the day but other than that i feel alot better thanks for the advice :D

i have been bullied before. not as much now, because ive become a stronger person and i dont let myself be so vulnerable. when i was in junior high i was trying to find where i belonged and i tried to hang out with the cheerleaders, i tried to wear the right thing. hoping that maybe if i wear this today or do my hair like this, they'll finally talk to me. but it never happened. and i'm glad it didn't. i was searching for acceptance in all the wrong places through junior high and my freshman year of high school. i tried too hard to please other people and i hadnt really realized what kind of a toll it had taken on me until my freshman year and thats when everything went 'downhill' i guess. im doing a lot better now. i mean believe me i still have issues but im sp glad i'm over that fake shit that goes on in junior high and high school. those bitches that rejected me in junior high are now afraid to mess with me mwahahaa!
whoever feels like they're bullied, rejected, and an outcast...you are not alone

wow Alicia, that stuf is ridiculous. i cant believe some people. i dont get how they thinkt hey can just violate people like that, or say such mean things. i ahve been bullied and ive gone through the whole 'trying to fit in' thing but now i just let things be and of course people still hurt me but i dont try to make people like me anymore.
if you or anyone ever need to talk PM me...i consider myself a good listener:)

Posts merged. No double-posting is allowed, Traded_Worth. Edit your post next time okay? Thanks. ~Katya

i ve been being bullied in my junior high.. because my parents are foreigners.. i've cried a lot and hated mysef.. it took some time for me to realize that humans are equal and that i dont have to be ashamed of my origin

This really surprises me. Of course there are racists out there, but to the point of bullying? I mean, come on, that's just over the top. I don't think most racists, or people would do that. Maybe it's just your environment that has that state of mind?

Not saying it's not possible, but the last couple of years, foreigners have been accepted quite well.

I was bullied all through 1st grade through 8th. It stopped after high school. I used to be tormented every day. They told me I was worthless and didn't have a reason to live at all. I used to be told that I was a mistake and that everyone hated me. One thing that made me feel better was the fact that they bully others because they are unhappy with their own lives whether they show it or not.

I did get bullied when i was younger because i was very different and now i get singled out because im a satanist and look different to everyone else but i just got mean and no-one really bothers me anymore. bullies are extremely pathetic and i learnt not to waste my time on them!!

I am a junior in highschool and I have always been the outsider. Shy, and not really outgoing when it came to people at school or that I see out. I don't talk to people much, and even that increased to hardly ever at school because of bullying. I have been and still am constantly at battle with my peers, it seems. It started as petty/ immature things like oh she's stupid, look what she listens to, or says. You know, stupid things. But it grew, and I couldn't say anything without someone making some comment. One day out of curiousity I asked this kid on my bus, if because he has goats, do they have to mow their grass. He knew that I was just being a curious 8th grader, and started to answer, when a girl that rode my bus ( a senior at the time) got upset and was like how would you like it if someone asked you that.... and carried on and on.... She started yelling and getting in my face. That day she threatened me and almost got in a fist fight with her, but she decided "I wasn't worth it" Since then, I don't say anything when someone takes it too far like that.

Through-out my elem, jr.high, and highschool days, I have been nothing but the butt of a joke. I'm ugly, the clothes I wear, the things I'm intrested in, my art, and sketches, and even simple answers in class. I was accused of spreading rumors about a girl that she was pregnant, when I didn't even know who she was.

I am a suck-up because I get what I want... Or I help out, or I write something for someone... (eg: a song piece for my choir for next year... or helping teachers during free time i have) I was walking out of choir in 7th grade.... I was new and this girl had already decided she didn't like me or how I sounded and acted.... yet I haven't talked to anyone yet anyway.... well the bell rang and i had to hurry to the next class. I started walking fast, and she was in front of me. ... apparently she thought I was trying to start something or something like that because she stopped right where she was, And i go what? she goes "I'm waiting for you to fucking pass me or something..."

I had trouble with a girl my freshman year... she'd always spread lies about me and talk about me. I had to give a presentation for english, and I put pictures and "props" up on the chalk board, and got chalk on my shirt. She sat in the front row with another chick.... and laughed and pointed and whispered the whole presentation. At the end... she goes "what's written on your shirt...." I knew there was nothing so I didn't even look down at it.... and just said.... nothing.... She goes okay .... whatever.... and starts laughing and whispering again..... I go "what's so funny" she goes you have chalk on your shirt.... or something".... i look down and felt so embarrased i turned 4 shades of red. I go... "oh.... I wasn't aware that was so hilarious that you had to mock me and talk about me" .... She got all huffy and started going off.. and I go " sorry ------- (her name) i don't play those games. I'm not going to take shit from everybody and I'm sure as hell not going to take it from you" That was a mistake because the rest of the year, I was destroyed. She'd walk in saying that and still spread lies and rumors about me.... only they got harsher... A girl _mandy.... sat beside me and noticed what I was feeling like and looked like everyday that she'd start on me.... and goes... "----- (teacher's name) look at her. You have to do something.... she is being worn down... she's crying." He looked at me and I had my head down tears down my streaks. I walked out and sat in the hall way with my books. I can't count on the teachers or conselors or something becuase they get into this "friends thing" then I come out of their office with some kid and i get mocked for taking it to the principal or counselors....

My freshman and sophmore year were more personal. I had been in an extremely physical and verbal abusive relationship and like a lot of girls. Tried to persuade people everything was alright. I was in it for 3 1/2 years, and it hasn't been but 4 months since my dad stepmom and mom finally found out why I ended it after 3 1/2 years. They never knew, because I'd lie, make excuses. He punched me, hit me, slapped and pushed me, held me to the ground and shook me yelling .... I was the blame for anything that made him mad.... his life, family, problems... He'd tell me I wasn't worth anything, He's the only one that would love me ever... I wouldn't make it anywhere in anything I loved... I was a bitch, worthless, a liar,.... and it became so frequent.... about everyday, everyother day..... I started to believe him. And I believed him the more I told everyone else the lies that I was okay.

After 3 1/2 years, I finally got the courage to end it... but it still all ran through my head. I couldn't let it go... and somedays still have hard times. last year (my sophmore year) my grades went from top a's and b's to f's ...... I couldn't concentrate, sleep, eat.... I was solely concentrated on what he had done. When I fianally told someone, I thought she was a friend.... I felt like I could trust her and she wouldn't betray me. But she came back and told another girl in my class who extremely hates me ...... that I was a liar, that I made everything up and came crying to her to get her attention, and that i never was.... and that my mom and I are having problems too..... This girl that she told.... came back and said, "oh i know.... she's been here since 7th grade. She's the type that she'll talk and speak her opinion and won't let you get in anything.... she lies and is a bitch."

Last year (sophmore year) 4 kids in my biology class made comments all the time like "your stupid, i wasn't talking to you, why don't you jump off of a bridge, go kill yourself, and would call me names and make jokes about me." A girl that I sat beside got mauled by some stranger and drug across the street while walking her dog..... And one of the kids goes.... oh just admit it .... that didn't happen, admit your dad beats you.... that struck me hard.... my dad never has..... but my ex boyfriend was physically and verbally abusive for years...... They would act like they were going to hit me, or like they were going to punch me.... they'd destroy my papers and sketches..... move my lab stuff around and throw my things in the trash......

Not only has all of this left me ending up with being "depressed" and even more of the outsider, and hating these kids... but I still am paranoid about everything and I still am hearing people behind my back. I don't talk to hardly anyone but my close friends.... and I am always worried that what if I make it somewhere or even now, that these people that I've run into problems with.... what if they come up and say all this shit about me that isn't true... internet is accessed all over.... everyone could see the lies and I wouldn't be able to turn it around.... my career could end. I won't be able to publish this book i'm writing, or become a singer.... sing my songs.... etc...

I am constantly paranoid and on the edge of my seat.... what's going to happen next? Over half of the kids in my junior class alone don't like me and in one way or another .... find a way to torment me....

I have never been concerned with what people think of me.... hell i'd rather be unnoticed. .... but it does get to me. ... I know I have to ignore it.... but I've gone through far to much to just take everything and shove it under the rug... I don't know .... I am kind of optomistic.... but this doesn't sound like it does it.... I know... but honestly... that's all. I'm not self-destructive or anything... i don't want to be skinny like models.... I have my moments, but its part of me I guess. I've always been this way... since I can remember.

Christy

I have been on many sides, I have been a bully before, I have been bullied myself and I have seen my friends bully kids. Bullying people I almost felt like I was getting back at the people who bullied me. Being bullied I always put me on the attack when meeting new people and conversation with others and made me hate society. Watching others being bullied made me upset in side and no matter what I said and how I defended those kids they never learned for them. I hate when people have power trips, thankfully I dissolved most situation with my voice. I think we are all effected by this but I think it really hits a nerve with me because my whole life I have been the new kid, at each and every school, its really hard. Personally I am surprised I made it this far, and to say all of these years that have passed by it still effects me. Less and less as time goes by I forget and I learn what bullies have done. I wouldn't take it back because I think its just how life is, even in at work bosses can bully people around, its all about how you handle it and if you can dissolve it by talking to the person you are one step ahead and usually ends the bullying. I take a very neutral approach and try to let people cool off before I talk to them, or just move on. It has its positives and negatives, but its better then physically fighting every human being which I have done enough as it is, don’t really care to physically hurt someone even though I am stronger and bigger.

LurkerofShadows - thanks for sharing your story. From my understanding the bullying has ended for you, is that correct? If not then you need to do something about it. Your story sounds a lot like mine and I know how much the verbal abuse and insults can have an effect on your self-esteem. Not to mention the destruction of property - they should not be allowed to get away with that.

I think it's a good idea to stick to your group of close friends in this instance. Most of the others sound very immature. Also, you said you were betrayed by someone you thought was a friend, which just highlights my point. At high school people are often not mature enough to handle big things like that and to keep stuff to themselves. It is best to speak to people you have known for a long time and are sure you can trust. Even possibly someone who doesn't go to your school and therefore doesn't know these people.

You say you are still paranoid etc - that's ok. It's understandable after what has happened to you. It takes time. Eventually you will begin to heal and move on and you won't care about what people say to you/behind your back so much. It sounds like you have some important dreams for the future which is great - focus on those and work hard to achieve them and gradually you will come to realise that no-one can take your dreams from you if you want them enough. Also, when you make it you can look back and laugh at all the losers who bullied you.

Good luck, take care. :)

Vicky

What Ghetto said works, too!

Playing stupid or ignoring should be the best ways. If the bully sees your reaction (IE: Crying, exploding, etc.)- they've won, and you just victimized yourself. That whole crushed, sensitive, low self-esteem and pity thing can work for a while, but you are not solving your problems at all-- and it only worsens the damage and you deliberately victimize yourself-- and that -definately- helps nothing.

Uhm, I don't even know if the bullying has stopped yet, because I am out of school and I don't see the people during summer. But when I was in school last year... okay, lets back up.

I'm not really pretty. In fact, you could say I'm ugly. Go ahead, say it. Everybody else does. And I have a huge nose, and to top that off I have this huge welt that I have had ever since I can remember. Its a family thing. My dad has it, his dad has it, and none of the girl in my family have had it except me. Anyway, and to add extra icing to the cake I have glasses.

Well, once in English (stupid seating arrangements) I was lucky enough to be seated at the same table with THE most popular girl in the whole entire school, and the two biggest jocks in the school. And then there is me at the end of the table. Well, you know how they say girls are meaner than boys? In this case, I'd say they are about the same. One guy, decided to make a cartoon of me, and then show it to the other guy, who'd show it the the queen of it all, and they just burst out laughing. All during the last semester of school I have come just soo close to bursting out into tears because of this.

They also have an affectionate nickname for me. Because they think this big welt on my nose is a pimple, they call me 'Pimple Fart'. The fart thing is a whole different story that happend a loong time ago, and I'm not going to get into that. But once I was stuck in Math groups with these guys, and whenever I tried to point something out he'd say 'Shut up, Pimple Fart' and I would, because I was about to cry. A person can only take so much.

So things like this and more would happen about everyday. I didn't tell my parents. I still haven't. But hopefully next year (High School) I'll be able to conceal myself away from their eye.

It just rips you apart from the inside out. And all my self-confidence has gone away.

Honestly, I've heard all my Sunday School Lessons, and all these counselors tell students about how much they needed/wanted, I've heard my parents say it, but I just don't beleive it. I mean, its only ME. I'm one person. People in my school don't care, let alone God about me. I've learned to live with that fact.

Bullying is horrible. I hate it.

Honestly, I've heard all my Sunday School Lessons, and all these counselors tell students about how much they needed/wanted, I've heard my parents say it, but I just don't beleive it. I mean, its only ME. I'm one person. People in my school don't care, let alone God about me. I've learned to live with that fact.


Yeah, it's "only you," but you are your parents' child. They love you and care about you. Your friends and family care.

Bullying is awful, and I feel your pain. I'm not ugly, but I wasn't exactly pretty in middle school, either. I was ostracized all the time. What kept me sane and not crashing were my one friend and my theatre group.

Never think that you are "only" anything. Middle school is about the roughest, most vicious time of anyone's life. Middle school is hell. It should get loads better for you in high school.

Honestly, hun, these people have no lives. None. They find it funny to make fun of you...yeah how cool. They're a real shiny piece of brass now, aren't they? Yeesh. Anyone older than them is looking at them and saying 'what losers.'

I'm going to take a page from something Amy posted once because I agree with it - find something you're good at. Get involved. Stick to it. Especially now that you're entering high school; get involved in different clubs and stuff and you'll make friends fast - friends that'll get those jerks to lay off you. Theater and singing was what I fell back on. I'm not incredible but I loved it and the friends I made there kept me from completely losing myself...I lost most of who I was but I still retained some sense of identity.

Don't let those kinds of thoughts take over, okay? Seriously. One day you'll be at the head of the game and they'll be coming to you for work or advice. Just think of it that way ;) *hugs*

No problem... I enjoy talking to everyone on here... everyone seems like nice people. it's cool.

It is definately a lighter load than before..... but the insults, lies, and rumors are still there. They do hurt me and upset me, but I'm getting a little better at this... you can't really tell but... I am. I tried talking to the school teachers, principals, conselors. The trouble I've had with kids ....as petty things, I'd tell my parents, but then it was harmless fun.... So we all got used to this as it went, I'd come home and tell them what went on that day..... but I quit... I new it wasn't worth the time or energy.

I tried to somehow talk to someone outside of the people from school, but even talking to them at school is hard. I have always had a hard time actually talking to anyone about something. And I still do.... there's stuff that no one knows or would even consider.... even my parents are hard to talk to. I was "supposed" to try a psychologist, when i was like 8 or 9 we had family conseling.... but nothing since then. I've tried for so long but nothing ever seemed to work out.... the ideas were "farfetched" when I told my stepmom the details of my ex.... I thought I felt better, and she saw a little difference... so, we never tried again.... I can't talk to people... it's hard. that's why i do what i do... write and draw and stuff..... let alone talk to someone who doesn't know me or my life history, my family or anything else ya know....

But I am a junior now.... and I realize that everything that has happended has had to happen for a reason. So I just take my oppertunities and inspirations and run with it. I know that it has made me stronger. Lies, and rumors may hurt me.... But I don't let it bring me down as much as I used to.

Christy

It's sometimes hard for me to trust other people too. I believe what goes around comes around. One day all those people will experience the pain you went through.

It seems every year there are always some people that hate me.
K-3 were my years with just about no friends. I had like one or two.
6 grade was a rollercoaster. First everyone hated me and bullied me then I guess I was accepted again. Then again I was hated. It was crazy.

This last year people hated me for something that they thought I said. It was a misunderstanding but I was called ugly a few times and such.
And this summer someone kept calling my cellphone on a private number and they left a voicemail calling me a chink, stupid, whore and they said I looked like a man.
So I went through this whole phase of trying to figure out who it was. And I even considered my best friends and I still do. I don't know why I just seem to think people don't like me very much. I mean yeah I used to be pretty mean to people but this year I haven't so who the hell would've done that? Well I've pretty much gotten over it now but you still wonder.

I guess I'm pretty lucky. It seems my worst years are over. And like I've never faced physical abuse except one time at a mall. I think I posted about that once but it was a misunderstanding, overraction and I recieved an apology.

In the end when I think about it it's not a big deal and it has made me a better person. I think about others, I don't pick on people. I don't hate people. It's nice, real nice.

bullying is the worst damn thing that can happen to you when you are @ school!!!

I get bullied quite a lot but i just attempt to ignore it until i hurt something (usually me) but i hurt a freind once when i went after some guy who really deserved a punch in the face!!!!!

to all that are bullied DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID, COS I DID AND NOW IT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE!!!

In the past course 8 guys have come, they have repeated course. 6 of them always are laughing and insulting to the students that are not "cools", the students that don't go to the disco, don't smoke etc. I am one of them. and they insult me for that, and also because I have eyeglasses. they're always laughing at my. until they tell me things when i was going to seek an exam. finally i get that they stop, since the school had to expel to two of those guys for insulting me. yesterday I was with my sister in a store, and two of them and 4 guys more, of upper courses, were in front of the store. When I left the store and was waiting for my sister, they began to scream me and to insult me. And thus at least 3 minutes. when my sister left the store and we were away I began to cry, it I could not avoid.
I am very tired. if I don't do them nothing, why they do this to me?
I need aid to stop this.

ps- excuse my bad english

.: Eli :., I merged your post here to here, because it seemed to fit with the subject. :)

I was bullied from primary school right up to the beginning of secondary school. The lamest part of it was that I was bullied mainly because I had fuzzy hair. I don't see how some people in this world can take pleasure out of other peoples misery. If I see anyone being bullied I go up to the bully and scare them with my 'being in the last year at school big kid' lol

This is an espically hard topic for me to discuss.

I was bullied all throughout elementary and middle school. I had no friends, at all. It got really bad in 6th grade, when this one guy wouldn't stop making fun of me, he called my names, even tripped me in the hallway.
I became very depressed, to the point of wanting nothing more than to die, to just leave it all behind. But I told no one, hiding behind fake smiles, I kept it a secret until around the middle of 7th grade, when I told everything to the school counsler, she called my parents then and told them about it. I was then taken to several different counslers outside of school to see who was best at helping me, I was also put on anti-depressants. In 8th grade, I wasn't bullied as much, but I know for a fact people were spreading rumors about me. I don't know what High School will bring me. Hopefully i'll have the courage to ask the one person who made my life a living hell why they were so cruel to me.

But now, looking back, I realise that without all that I went through, I wouldn't have anything to write about. Nothing to inspire me. I've written one poem about what happened, and am working on more.

Also, I now speak out against all forms of bullying. I do not hate. If someone makes me mad, or hurts, I channel it into writing.

PM me if you want to read my first poem based on bullying.

I'm glad you stick up for other people :) It slightly annoys me when I see all the people who've experience it yet when they see it happening to someone else they just ignore it or walk away. Good on you for helping other people through the terrible experience.

I've been bullied all my life for being a little bit overweight and having good grades. But my most horrible experience was when I first came to Spain. I was put into a local school so I did not understand a word of anything they were saying to/about me.

There were these 2 girls, Lydia and Olivia and from the start they had this thing against me. They would get balls of plasticine and break it into tiny pieces and then throw it into my hair. I'd have to spend over 2 hours every single night trying to get out every tiny piece of plasticine that they threw. That when on for about a month until finally one day they threw a massive ball of it at the back of my head, I was so mad that I grabbed the ball, walked up to them and slammed in down on the desk infront of them and told them if they touched me one more time I was going to punch them so hard they'd be dead.
That seemed to work for about 2 weeks except one day I went to the toilet before Sports and in there they tried to force a cigarette down my throat, thankfully I'm stronger than both put together and was able to break free before i started choking. However later during sports, Lydia got a basketball and aimed it right for my face. It ended up breaking my nose.
Afterwards for 2 months they decided to leave me alone, but I was foolish to think so as one day I stayed after school at lunchtime [we had 2 hour lunch breaks and we could go home during them] for an extra 15 minutes and what I didn't know was that they had hidden in the toilets waiting for me to come out. I normally took the back door out as it cut off an extra 5 minutes walking time. I'll never forget that day when I was at the top of the stairs, I felt a push on my shoulder and my whole body collapsed and rolled down the stairs. I cut the side of my head numerous times and I remember hearing footsteps coming and I was lying there crying to myself as I received a few kicks in the stomach...And after that everything went blank.

From what I was told afterwards, a poor 6 year old girl [the school went from 3 - 18 years old] found me and called one of the supervisors and from there I was taken to the hospital with Concussion, among other things. Luckily a year after my mum moved me out of the school and now sends me to a private english school here in Spain but whenever I go back to my old school to pick up my little brother and sister...everytime I see them they give me death glares and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry...BUT i feel that if i hadn't experienced all of that, it wouldn't of made me who i am today and I'd still be this naive teenager going around with her head in the clouds.

wow. that was hard to write. *has shaking hands*

Wow...that's really awful. I'm so sorry, Poppy :( Goes to show that some people just fail at life and will stop at nothing to make other people feel bad.

*hugs Poppy and kicks the bitches' asses. Hard.*

TheLightOne2 - I'm sorry for what happened to you and I'm glad you have the courage to write about it and channel your pain into poetry. Keep writing from the heart and it will help you heal - at least, it has for me. I've never written a poem explicitly about my bullying, simply because that's not how I write. However, I have a fictious story about bullying in the works right now.

Poppy - I am so sorry for what those people did to you. That is just sickening that anyone could treat someone else in that way. The fact that when you see them you don't 'curl up into a ball and cry' no matter how much you want to just goes to show how strong you are. You should not be afraid of them, they are not worth it. You obviously have a lot of inner strength so use that and rise above what they have done to you. *hugs*

I hope I can tell my story here...it's a little long but whatever ^^

I have been bullied a lot in 7th grade. The whole class was against me. It started in the 2nd period of the year. First the class was okay, but then suddenly everybody, EVERYBODY, except for the people I didn't talk much to, were against me. Even a very dear friend of mine was with them. We are friends again, by the way. There were these times, then they threw stuff at my head, then they were messing around with my stuff, one boy once hit me, and they did such stupid 'jokes'. Some times I was holding a frickin' knife, not knowing what to do with it...
I was wondering what was so wrong with me. Now I see myself again, and I could find a reason why they did that, but still, how could they do that?
I often sat alone during recess, and I didn't really have friends in school...the only friends I did have, were two girls I know from primary school, and we all went seperate ways (I'm glad we're still friends though :))
There was especially this girl, then she was my friend, then she bullied the crap out of me, and then she was being 'nice' again, and all the time like that. At the total end of the year, everything seemed to be fine again.
The year after that, in the beginning, things went wrong....AGAIN. My friend who turned against me in 7th grade, suddenly turned against me again. And that girl, who was friend-not friend-friend-not friend was being bitchy...AGAIN. Also other people were bitchy...
I was alone...AGAIN...but then, I had an hour for myself, and I was walking to my locker, and it was all quiet, except for a girl sitting in front of her locker, and that was a crappy locker. I told her what a crappy locker she had, and she smiled and she was like: yeah isn't it! and we started talking and talking, and it seemed like I had a new friend.
Later, my friend who turned against me, started talking to me again. She had problems. And I helped her. I couldn't leave her with her problems. And we kept talking more and more, and we became friends again...that was cool :)
My new friend introduced me to a friend of her. Another new friend :)
The rest of the year went fine. The summer vacation wich was after that year, I guess I somewhat 'found' myself: I started listening to rock music...starting with Ev, then I listened more and more bands. I changed, I was more open to people. I talked a lot more. That was when things went better. I met more people. I got more friends. I got a whole group of friends at school. I got social training, for my self confidence (I lost it because of the bullying) and it helped me a LOT. Now I feel so much better, and stronger.
But, still, I found out that I can't really trust people so much, thanks to the people who were friend-not friend. It also has a lot to do with my self esteem problem...all that because bullying. But I have friends, I have things I believe in like art and music. I'm much happier now. I like school much more. And it feels good ;) If people are being bitchy to me (like, because of my glasses, clothes, style, whatever) I can bitch back or just not care.

If you are being bullied and you don't really know what to do, or you just want to talk about it, you can always pm me or add me on msn :) I come here almost every day.

heres my story:

at infants people bullied me because i was smarter than most of them, but year 2 was the worst as my teacher bullied me too, when i moved house about a few days into primary school and i went to a different school and people started to take the mick out of me because i was new and sort of odd in their eyes, and i just ignored it with just a few freinds with me, when i went into year 5, everyone hated me and i just ignored it untilsomeone punched me in the face because he didn't like me, then in year 6 i had 1 freind to talk to. when i went into year 7 i tried to make a new start but people told them about my "nickname" and decided it would be fun to bully me too and they were just rude and started to hit me and swear at me and spit on me and just constantly annoyed me, year 8 people bullied me as if there was no tomorrow. year 9 was was a bad year as we had a new form tutor and people from any form just started swearing at me starting rumors and did the same as they usually did, and i i was punched in the face for standing my ground and smacked with hockey sticks for being good at hockey i was also followed about and stalked by somebody from my past and attacked by him more than once. From year 10 onwards people came from a different school were put into our school and they immedieately started to hit me and hurt me but i had 2 freinds which stuck with me, but i was attacked by a bunch of trevs, chavs and townies who just hit me and hurt me, that went on for a while and this year its been bad as the bullies have just been going after me non-stop and making it hell for me and making me really upset, and now i have had enough and want it to end.

thats my story and i have hardly ever told anyone about it so if you can help please help

My story, I feel kinda strange by telling this baecuse I'm not usully very open, and I probably still couldn't tell it in finnish, but I post it now anyway, bacause I can't shame it any longer:

I was bullied in the middle school. It was probably because I was very insecure, didn't like myself and I'm not very good speaker so I often say something stupid or embarrassing though I try not to. And I did work a little bit too much with school when I was in the seventh class... I was actually an obsessed school nerd. I just had to work hard just to manage to do at least something right. And though I didn't do my homework at all

It got kinda bad on the eight and ninth class. I remember one girl coming to the class in the middle of the lesson just to shout for eveyone that I'm an ugly cow. During the lessons they threw me with everything and threatened that they will cut my hair and made fun of my style of walking. My name was monkey. They hid my shoes and my school bag. They made fun of me every day.

I got more and more insecure so soon I couldn't even say hi to people when they said it to me. I was always thinking that I can't go with the other people, cause they think I'm boring and they don't want me there anyway. And when I was bullied, I got even more like that. Soon I was always just alone. Once I decided to try to cahnge something, but when they had group work on a lesson, I heard immediately that I don't belong there. So group works and everything alone.

Some boys teased different way... they asked me normal questions like "Who's your best friend here at school?" though they all knew I didn't have any. and then looked at each other waiting for me to answer something stupid. I didn't have anything to answer. They laughed at me when I didn't answer. Someone said "Let's not tease it, even THAT is a girl", and that did not sound like a nice comment to me.

I never knew how to react because I never knew if people meant what they said or not or if it was a joke. Now I get embarrassed and feel insecure about everything I do or say. I always did, but now even more.

I knew everyone looked at me and laughed at me. I wished I could disappear, join the wall and drown in the floor.

And then I went to the high school and was relieved. I'm still alone and I will be. In the beginning of the term some people tried to talk to me or something, but they went away soon when they noticed I don't look people in eyes and I don't ask them any questions, I only answer. The teacher that guides my group aked my why I'm always alone and I just said that I'm used to be alone and I don't need friends. I don't know if it was true or a lie, but I think it was true. I can be alone, and when i'm alone, I don't have to feel insecure (and I have to be alone, because I am a walking trouble and i don't want to cause anyone troubles).

I can smile now because I've been at school the whole term being subconscious of myself. I don't actually exist there. Well, "here in the shadows I'm safe, I'm free" like Exodus says. Now that the others ignore me, I can ignore myself too.

I was a floor flat, now I'm air. I'm not bitter towards the bulliers. Actually I'm kinda thankful because now I can think about things more in other people's position too. I used to be a little bit thoughless and self-involved.

No-one is going to believe me but I deserved it and needed it to realize some things about myself. Now I see my own weakness too and I've learned to blame myself. I don't know what I would be if they hadn't made me realize these things.

SunriseDream - I can understand why you feel that you need to be alone. I used to feel that way too after I got bullied. I had difficulty trusting people and I also had issues at home. I remember a few years ago thinking that I would never have kids because I didn't want them to go through what I had. I decided to stay lonely for the rest of my life. However, I discovered a few years ago that that is not the way to live. Everyone has the right to have friends and people who care about them.

Although it may not seem like it right now, there are some truly amazing people in this world. I didn't believe it at first, and then my best friend saved my life! I was suicidal and felt that I had no reason to go on living and that no-one would care if I died. She showed me differently - that she would never forgive herself if I did it and she hadn't tried to stop me. I remember hearing the pain in her voice as she spoke of how much she feared losing me and suddenly realised that there is always someone who cares about you, you just might not know it yet.

I know that might be a little off track but I am just trying to say that you shouldn't judge all people by those certain shallow few who made your life hell.

You seem to blame yourself for a lot of things. Please don't. The bullying was not your fault. I used to feel like I was flawed in some way, that it was my fault that it started. Now I see it as an experience, one which, like many other experiences in our lives, taught me something. I don't hate the bullies for what they did to me, rather I am grateful that they taught me to be myself, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Have you ever spoken to anyone about what has happened to you? If not, it might be a good idea to do so.

Best of luck. I won't tell you to stay strong because you already are. You have got through their bullying and you are still here and willing to talk about it - therefore you are an incredibly strong person! Remember that if people treat you badly in the future. :)

Vicky

I get bullied and made fun of all the time, never like throw me in the trash-can, swirley bullied, just laughed at. I am very "different" from the other kids at my school, not necessarily wierd, I just dont put beer and vodka in my CLEAR water bottle (I dont drink at all, dont worry), how stupid can you be? (if your going to (illegally) take alchoholic drinks to school, I mean at least be smart enough to put it in something that isnt see-through). I dont care though. people dont mess with half as much anymore though. I guess they know it doesnt affect me by the way I just stand there and laugh at what theyre saying, or when I say lame stuff back to them just for fun. they usually stop laughing at me when I stand up for myself, so just stand up for yourself unless theyre seriously going to punch you, then you should probably tell someone. Why I am lecturing people like Twice my age, I have no Idea.

heartstringz: It's actually different thing for me...

I know there are nice people. I'm not judging people. Most of the people are nice. But the problem is that I'm not.

And it's not right to wait for those nice people to help me. That would just cause them troubles. In the end they would all hate me. I know well why: I'm boring, I'm not nice, I'm not friendly and I never listen to other people's troubles. It's hard to admit even for myself that I'm really not a good person.

So I have to be alone not only because of me but also because of the others.

And I am not strong at all. I don't think it's a sign of being strong if I forget myself and live just to see the world and listen to good music and those little things. I don't live for myself anymore. I have no aim. Nothing intrests me anymore.

I'm not depresed or anything like that. I'm just not really here anymore. And I don't want to be alive in that meaning of being alive.

It's a fact that I can't live my whole life all alone, but if I'm only being without really living, I can be alone. And it's my own choice.

Sunrisedream, its incredible how you are able to tell here the things that have happened to you. I've also been bullied in elementary school, but its so hard for me to talk about it, even write, in any language.

I also have same kind of problems as you; its hard for me to look to other peoples eyes, and I doesn't have any interest in my friends troubles.

I'm so happy that I now have friends, who are good people, and who I can trust to.

The things that have happened to you are so horrible. I wish you best luck with your life, and hope that you can feel yourself happy, whatever you decide to do in your life.

heartstringz: It's actually different thing for me...

I know there are nice people. I'm not judging people. Most of the people are nice. But the problem is that I'm not.

And it's not right to wait for those nice people to help me. That would just cause them troubles. In the end they would all hate me. I know well why: I'm boring, I'm not nice, I'm not friendly and I never listen to other people's troubles. It's hard to admit even for myself that I'm really not a good person.

So I have to be alone not only because of me but also because of the others.

And I am not strong at all. I don't think it's a sign of being strong if I forget myself and live just to see the world and listen to good music and those little things. I don't live for myself anymore. I have no aim. Nothing intrests me anymore.

I'm not depresed or anything like that. I'm just not really here anymore. And I don't want to be alive in that meaning of being alive.

It's a fact that I can't live my whole life all alone, but if I'm only being without really living, I can be alone. And it's my own choice.


If you dont mind me saying it, (not in a mean way), I feel sorry for you. I dont know what I would do if I always felt like that. Therapy just might help you though.

Thanks for replies. Happiness doesn't matter to me, and I'm trying not to reach things I can't get. I'm searching for peace.
I'm just trying to make things right and I think I am making.

I knew it might sound bad, but the fact is that I really am okay like this. :)

Yea...i was bullied in elementary school, and in middle school. Really bad. No matter how many time i'd go to the prinicpal, and my guidence councelor, the stupid gits would just keep trying to make my life a living hell; making up rumors that people knew weren't true.
God..i can't even write about it..which makes me feel stupid...

My so-called-friends were two-timers. They'd be my friends outside of school, but, in school, they'd treat me like a freaking slug or something ugly with two heads. it was like they didnt want to ruin their reputations by hanging out with me, cause anyone who was friends with me was immediatley labelled as a loser. When we had to do group projects, i'd asked the teacher if i could just work alone, cause, i honestly didnt want to label anyone as a loser. I was just too nice to let that happen; even to the meanest of people (i'd have settled for decking them in the face, personally, when i look back on it today)
In the middle of the school however, I became friends with a kid whom everyone thought was mentally challenged, and he sat by himself at lunch as a result. He wasn't mentally challenged; he just had a small learning disability, but damn, did we have a good time at lunch. :p When we did group projects, we were partners and stuff. After that school year, i felt a bit more confident in myself. I guess i have him to thank. I sometimes wonder now how he's doing...

But, i don't think i've changed at all, now that i think about it. I'm still labelled as a loser and, i still do group projects by myself. Everyone stays away from me, cause they think I'm too immature. Instead of being bullied, i feel like i'm being harrasessed. I'm doing my best to ignore it right now. My new year's resolution is gonna be to not let anyone tick me off, or make me feel like crap.
I'm just gonna be quiet from now on, so maybe they'll think i don't exist anymore. And to be honest, i hope that happens.

and woah...i just did some serious rambling...

i didnt post da details, so here they are:

ppl have tried to follow me home and find where i live, people have threatened to kill me, my dad isn't my real dad, half the people who hate me used to b my freinds until people started mouthing off and finally i was yelld at 4 ages and i manage to hurt myself and my family dont care, *pants and starts shaking* there thats it

I know first hand the damaging effects of bullying. For 3 years i had to put up with it.

I know about the nightmares, i know about the suicidal thoughts. I got really close to pulling of a COLUMBINE, but i was so fucked up, i wasn't sure i could do it. My dad was a police officer, i knew where the guns where at, but i didn't dare too. And for a time, i really regreted it.

What i found interesting, looking back. Is that, i thought the getting the shit beat out of me was bad, but boy was I wrong. Not being BULLIED turned out to be hard.

Because, you develop this sick relationship with the bully. I expected to be beaten up, that became my life. I was the walking punch line. But at least i was somebody.

When it all stopped, i wasn't nobody anymore. Don't get me wrong i was thrilled when we moved from Puerto Rico to Cleveland, i was like "All those miles" But, that sick identity, was all i had for all that time. So when i found myself out that situaion, it was hard.

I got really depressed, I believed suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I mean, i was constanly keeping my guard up. I hated going to super markets because, i felt i was being judged. And if i heard somebody laughing, i thought they were laughing at me.

Also, this situation really started in 6th grade, but it got worse when i went to 7th grade, until 9 grade.

Bad timing, usually, during that time, most kids beging to develop sexually you know all that shit.

NOT WITH ME. I was under so much stress, that sexually i never really develop an attacttion to girls or guys. To be honest, i don't know if i like either one. So, i kept tring to push myself in to either way, and it didn't work.

So, i mean, it took along time for me to get over it. BUt i feel that, i am over it 40% and the other 60% i DISCONNECTED myself from.

Is like when a bone breaks, and it heals, but is never going to be the same.

Im 23 years old now, and it's behind me, but i don't bear any hate. I know that, if it wasn't for that i woun't be who i am today.

Hey Roman_Dhampir22 - what you just wrote about in your post is the main reason I started this thread. It is so that people like us can try and help those who are currently suffering in the hope that they will get through it better than we did.

Originally posted by Roman_Dhampir22
I mean, i was constanly keeping my guard up. I hated going to super markets because, i felt i was being judged. And if i heard somebody laughing, i thought they were laughing at me.

Originally posted by Roman_Dhampir22
I was under so much stress, that sexually i never really develop an attacttion to girls or guys. To be honest, i don't know if i like either one. So, i kept tring to push myself in to either way, and it didn't work.

^^When I read those I thought I was reading my life story. That is exactly how I felt for a good majority of my life. Even though I moved away from the bullies in grade eight (14 years old) it took until I was 20 and at uni for me to completely heal. Those years in between was the beginning of the healing process, but they were so difficult. It still had a big effect on every aspect of my life and I found it really difficult to just be myself.

I want to let everyone know that it may take a long time but you will get through it. It may not seem like it now but the bullies will also, in time, have a positive effect on your life. They will make you stronger and shape you into the person you are destined to be. No-one's life is completely without trials and those are what define our futures.

In my case, if it wasn't for the bullies I'm not sure if I would be a social worker (in training) right now. The bullies have made me stronger, compassionate and determined to help those who need it. My main object in life is to empower others to change their own lives for the better and to realise that they are important and can make something of themselves if they try. I think that this, at least in part, came from my experiences as a child and a young teenager - being bullied in a rough school where there were always people who were copping it worse than me.

Roman_Dhampir22 - thanks for your post. As I said previously, I can really relate to most of what you said and it is good to know that others had similar experiences.

Anyone who wants to talk privately is free to pm me anytime.

"Only the best are bullied." - Tim Field

Hey Roman_Dhampir22 - what you just wrote about in your post is the main reason I started this thread. It is so that people like us can try and help those who are currently suffering in the hope that they will get through it better than we did.





^^When I read those I thought I was reading my life story. That is exactly how I felt for a good majority of my life. Even though I moved away from the bullies in grade eight (14 years old) it took until I was 20 and at uni for me to completely heal. Those years in between was the beginning of the healing process, but they were so difficult. It still had a big effect on every aspect of my life and I found it really difficult to just be myself.

I want to let everyone know that it may take a long time but you will get through it. It may not seem like it now but the bullies will also, in time, have a positive effect on your life. They will make you stronger and shape you into the person you are destined to be. No-one's life is completely without trials and those are what define our futures.

In my case, if it wasn't for the bullies I'm not sure if I would be a social worker (in training) right now. The bullies have made me stronger, compassionate and determined to help those who need it. My main object in life is to empower others to change their own lives for the better and to realise that they are important and can make something of themselves if they try. I think that this, at least in part, came from my experiences as a child and a young teenager - being bullied in a rough school where there were always people who were copping it worse than me.

Roman_Dhampir22 - thanks for your post. As I said previously, I can really relate to most of what you said and it is good to know that others had similar experiences.

Anyone who wants to talk privately is free to pm me anytime.

"Only the best are bullied." - Tim Field


Yeah, those in between years were very difficult. The age thing plays a lot into it too. I was 15 when i moved to cleveland, after i passed the 9th grade, i was the youngest in school because of my birthdate being so close to new years.

I didn't even plan anything, because i thought i was going to die before i turned 18. But when 18 came, that's when it gets sketchy.

Yeah, i've talked to alot of peole about this, and that's something that helped me. Talking about it.

I guess my advice is that, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it's easier said than done.

If you can, you know, i am not Christian (That also played a negative effect during that situation) but if you can, talk to a priest or a pastor. A school counselor (In my case that didn't help) And most importanly, TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. If you're parents can afford it, a phsycologist.

To this day, my parents don't really know what was happening to me, eventhough i believe there were red flags, like i don't know, when i hit my mother onces, i mean.

So, talk about it.

I don't think I really ever posted my own story in here. I definitely didn't have it as bad as a lot of you, but it was bad enough.

I transferred from public school to catholic school between second and third grade (long story). When I went to my first day of school, I made friends with three girls, but no one else really talked to me. There were ALREADY cliques in third grade, the same cliques that were in eighth grade when I left.

These three girls were friendly to me, but they were all spoiled by their parents (I do mean that), and so they'd make me do things like hold their lunchboxes during recess while they played and stuff. At their houses, I played what they wanted to play, and at my house, I played what they wanted to play (my parents taught me early on that friends over = guests, so they should get to choose the games).

So, fourth grade rolled around. One girl left and I made two more friends, but the original two (call them M and C) were getting a bit bad. M was the youngest child in a house with no rules (i.e. I slept over once and she put on the Playboy channel). C would push me around more. Once, she really upset me during recess so I went to talk to the teacher, but she grabbed the back of my sweater and half-threw me into the brick wall. Later on, she shoved me down a flight of stairs. What's weird is that I don't remember any of the aftermath (and I remember almost nothing about the fall down the stairs...just the fall.). Another girl of our little group was 'accepted' by the popular clique. The last girl, K let's call her, remained my only real friend for the next four years. She was painfully shy...she didn't stick up for me simply because she didn't talk to anyone BUT me, but she was always the one who would pick me up and help me to the nurse and stay with me.

Fifth grade, I acquired the hatred of two of the clique leaders, which meant that almost everyone hated me. I'd get teased because I knew the answers to the teachers' questions, for the way my long hair would swing when I wore it in a ponytail, the way I tucked my shirt into my uniform (everyone else bloused it out or rolled it to make it look tucked), and especially how I didn't know (or care) about anything to do with pop culture...i.e. Full House, Eminem (who was just coming out), singers, actors, etc. They'd ask me questions like "Katy, who's [insert name here]" and when I wouldn't know, they'd laugh and shout "OMG YOU DON'T KNOW WHO [name] IS" and they wouldn't tell me who the person was. Then when I'd try to defend myself, I only made it worse. So then I just stopped defending myself period.

Middle school was slightly better. I didn't get picked on as much, but the boys started making fun of me more than they did in previous years. I finally got rid of M and C after two consecutive incidents where I finally said 'I won't put up with this anymore' and walked away.

Eighth grade, this neo-Nazi kid started to threaten to kill me in my sleep. At first he made me nervous, but I was taller than he was and I would get him in trouble with the teachers and principal (it was the only way I could defend myself, because the teachers liked me a lot. But of course, doing so just made my social reputation plummet more). I finally punched him in the face in freshman year of high school and then he was kicked out of my school and I have thankfully never seen him again.

One guy who always made fun of me and laughed at me since third grade went to my high school, too, where he just continued it. But I finally had the sense to jam headphones on my ears while he made comments on the bus and after a year of ignoring his existance, he finally left me alone. His mental ability hasn't changed since third grade.

So yeah. My bullying was mostly verbal, but it really tore me apart. I tried to fit in in middle school, but there's not much you can do in a small school with a uniform. High School was better. It was a private school again but it drew from all over, so I had friends from different places. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't cast out, either, and I liked it very much there.

However, I still have a lot of problems. I second-guess myself all the time. There's always a constant itch in the back of my head that always over-analyzes everything I say, everything people say to me: did they think that was dumb, did I say something weird, explain, gloss it over, make them think you're just tired or something, hope they don't yell, was that the right thing to say.....etc. Never stops. It's like I'm being watched all the time and the slightest imperfection will be noticed. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so awkward around my boyfriend. I also get really, really anxious when I know that I'll have to confront someone. I start to shake, I want to cry. I always find it hard to say no or be the first to do something, and I always have a terrible urge to fit in and 'be universally liked', as it were.

I did have something to keep me occupied in school, and that was my theatre group and choir, (and later, voice lessons) but I didn't do too much better socially there, either, as a couple of the girls in my school were also in the group. I did make a few friends, though, which helped me.

Yeah. I'm not a very strong person. I just live with what goes on in my head without trying to overcome it. It did feel kind of good to say it here, though.

Holy shit this is long. But yeah. That's my story. :X *hides*

Katya, I'm glad you chose to share your story. I think everyone who has shared their stories here are extremely brave and I'm sure that their experiences will help someone else.

I know you weren't asking for advice but I'd just like to say that I believe that you are a strong person just to have made it through. Likely as not you live with what goes on inside your head because you don't know how to overcome it. That doesn't make you weak. You are still here, you made it and that shows strength. :)

Katya, I'm glad you chose to share your story. I think everyone who has shared their stories here are extremely brave and I'm sure that their experiences will help someone else.

I know you weren't asking for advice but I'd just like to say that I believe that you are a strong person just to have made it through. Likely as not you live with what goes on inside your head because you don't know how to overcome it. That doesn't make you weak. You are still here, you made it and that shows strength. :)

Exactly, A stone is only as strong as the hand that throws it.

Where do I start...lol...

I've been bullied most of my life. It began in England, at the expensive private elementary school my mother decided to send me to (she couldn't afford it, but for some reason sent me there anyway). All the kids there were rich kids, and I was the only poor kid they knew. I'd get picked on because we had a crappy car, because my parents weren't doctors or lawyers like theirs, but owned a small newsagent's. Because I spoke more Dutch than English (I was born in The Netherlands) and many other reasons.
I remember clearly one day I walked up to a group of girls and asked if I could play with them. They laughed at me, and pushed me backwards, against the wall. I hit my head hard enough to open a nice big hole in the back of it, and I bled all over the place. Which of course made them laugh even more. I had to be taken to the ER to have stitches...and well, that's where the bullying began. As far as I can remember.

My mother liked to move around a lot, so every time I'd go to a different school, I'd have to start all over with making friends, which was just way too hard for me. I'm shy as hell, and of course I was afraid everyone could treat me like those girls had done. I tried to stay away from large groups of classmates as much as possible.

When we moved to The Netherlands again, I started going to school there, and once again got laughed at daily. This time because I'd forgotten most of my Dutch because I'd lived in England for so long. Also, my name isn't Dutch, and kids would laugh at the weirdness of it. And make mean rhymes with it. I tried to ignore things as much as I could, but learned that it was impossible to do so. Especially later on in high school.

At the Dutch high school I went to, things just got worse and worse. The first year kids started picking on me because I'd hang out with unpopular/"ugly" girls. And because my father was an alcoholic who'd begged for booze money in the middle of my town and threatened people when they refused to give him any (I lived in a small village where everybody knew each other). Also, my parents had divorced, which according to them was my fault. They'd pick on me because I developed early (I had a full C cup chest by age 11 or so, and an F(DDD) by age 15 or 16). I actually beat one kid up because he kept laughing at my chest, and stuffing feminine products in my locker. After that things calmed down for a while.

Then, in my second year, a boy started to constantly harass me. He'd stalk me all day, and after school he'd chase me home on my bike. I'd ignore the horrible things he said, until one day he followed me, and kicked me and my bike onto the highway. I almost got run over. I went home crying and shaking, and told my mother, who called the principal and just made things worse, by saying she thought the kid might have a crush on me. He agreed. Right. Like having a crush on someone makes you want to throw them in oncoming traffic. He was more careful after that day, but never stopped harassing me.

When I was 13, I had to be suddenly rushed to the ER with a perforated appendix, and had emergency surgery. After the surgery I had to learn how to walk again, and I missed weeks of school. When I got back, I still wasn't allowed to walk too much, or carry anything (I couldn't even climb stairs or bathe myself...and my wound was left open because closing it could cause infection...so no wonder). So my mother got me a little luggage cart (like the ones people use for small bags at airports), that way I could drag my books around without hurting myself. Kids found it extremely funny to take that cart, and dump it down the stairs. I'd have to take the elevator downstairs to go get it again, and by the time I'd get there, they'd have dragged it back upstairs again. They'd repeat this action over and over until I'd be too tired to bother. This went on for ages, until one day they broke the cart. I managed to drag it down to the janitor's office, where I broke down and cried for the rest of the day. Until my mother came to pick me up. Kids would also constantly push me around in the hallways, and try to find ways to make me trip.

My gym teacher never believed I couldn't take part in the classes, and he'd tell me to show him my scar (which btw is way too far south to show people), so he could be sure I couldn't do any exercise. I told my mother about this, who wrote a note to him telling him I had a 10 cm open wound in my side, and could not do anything. She wrote another one when I had a mole removed on my back, and couldn't do any gym because of my stitches. He just laughed in my face, and showed the other kids the note, so they could all have a good laugh at me too.

Then one day I got into a huge fight with some boy in my class, and I grabbed his school agenda and ripped it apart. A few weeks later I felt so bad about what I'd done, I decided to write him a letter, apologizing for my behavior, and admitting my feelings for him. He took that letter, made hundreds of copies of it, and gave the copies to literally everybody in school. And hung them up all over the place. This is when things started to get even worse. Kids would cut up my bike's tires almost daily, or grab my book bag and throw everything all over the hallway, or stuff random things in my locker. By then I couldn't ignore things anymore, and became suicidal and started to SI because of all the bullying. My mother noticed something was wrong, and sent me to an after school class about social anxieties (and some other anxieties). Kids found out, and I'd get laughed at because of it.

By the last year of high school, things had gotten so unbearable for me, I'd started to fear going to school, and whenever kids would start laughing at me in class, I'd just walk out and go home. I'd get migraines daily, and thinking about school and my classmates would make me sick to my stomach. I'd skip school as much as I possibly could, without hurting my grades. I'd make sure I was ahead of the class homework wise.

The five years of high school were the worst years of my life, and I'm still not completely over it all. I'm still very much afraid to talk to people, and often find myself thinking "I should keep quiet, so I don't say something stupid. If I do, they'll laugh at me. " or: "I wonder what they think of me. I bet they think I'm stupid." I know people probably couldn't care less about what I look like to them, or if I say something stupid, but my mind feeds me these annoying thoughts. When I talk to people, either in person or on the phone, I start shaking uncontrollably, I stutter, I blush, and sometimes I just forget what I was even saying. And just stand there wondering WTF I was on about. It's embarrassing as hell. I still think people are laughing at me whenever I hear somebody laughing. Even though I know they're probably not...I can't help but think it. I can't make eye contact with people at all.
People tend to judge me when they first meet me, and they think I'm a stuck up snobby bitch because I won't say a word to them. Little do they know their judgment fuels the anxiety. I feel incredibly stupid to tell them: "no, I'm not a snobby bitch, I'm afraid of you. That's why I won't talk to you."

I can't make new friends at all either, and I'd rather hide behind people I already know than meet new people. Literally hide behind them. I only have 4 close friends in my life. They're the people that always stood by me through the hard times, and I truly love them for that. My only true friends.

Now, I'm not asking for any advice, I'm really just posting my experience. I myself think I should see a psychiatrist about my anxiety issues, because I fear it might be Social Anxiety Disorder. *sigh*

It feels good to let this all out.

If you've actually taken the time to read all of this...thank you.

I need to learn how to not ramble and rant on and on. *sigh*

Hey Dawn, thanks for sharing your story. :) There's no need to apologise for it being so long, you obviously needed to get it out. I'm really sorry for what happened to you and even though I've been through bullying myself I still sometimes find it hard to believe just how cruel kids can be.

If you think you should see a psychiatrist - what's stopping you? There's nothing wrong with seeking help. Admitting that you need help is the first step of the healing process. :)

*hugs*

I dont really have much of a story to tell even though it is very long, but here it is:
I was very "popular" in Kindergarden, and I had a lot of good friends. then we went to first grade. My supposedly "Best friend forever" Stephanie ditched me, made fun of me, and managed to get me in trouble when I tried to help her. My other good friend Katie moved, all of my friends stopped talking to me, made new friends, and started making fun of me. Then I switched to my sisters class and made new good friends.
Second grade a had one or two friends, and my sister had a best friend named Rihanna, and one named Emma, who would both hit and push me.
Third grade we didnt really have any friends at all, exept for a girl named Victoria who was my sisters friend and also kind of mean. So we would walk around on the playground and watch all our old friends make fun of us, until some kindergardeners/first graders decided to start following us, and maybe be our friends. but since they were years younger then us, and just plain annoying, they actually bothered us a lot. They would chase us and never leave us alone, so we called them "The Fleas". But by then we kind of made friends with Victorias little sister who was nice and helped us avoid The Fleas. But the Fleas kept annoying us, so we out-smarted them by telling them we'd play Simon Says and make them sit down and close their eyes. So they did, and we ran, And I guess they got the point and stopped chasing us all the time.
Fourth grade we moved and went to a new school and made friends named Tiffiny, Natasha, Leandra, and Shannell, who of course had some rivals, but it wasnt that bad. They all stuck with us that year and part of the next year.
Fifth grade Shannell was still our best friend, and things were fine, until she went made another friend named Kimberly
Sixth grade me and my sister really didnt have any real friends, except for Shannell who was our friend until she went Ghetto.
seventh grade I made a couple friends even though there were still some who made fun of me. My best friends were Brittany and Genny, but Brittany moved to Canada, and Genny's not a very good friend, even though I still talk to her.
eight grade, i started school in the middle of the year, wich was on Wednesday. I have a couple of friends already and im hoping it'll all be good this year.
Anyway, what it pretty much comes down to is I only really have a life on the computer. The End.

I hate being bullied and ever since i went my new school, a kid named tony won't stop Bi*ching about the fact that i like evanescence. He thinks they suck and he hates Amy for no good reason :mad: . He also says I suck becuase i like i ev tho i mustly ignore it, and thats not really why im posting.
The real reason is that i think people bully other people because they are afraid of them and don't want to show it. I think it's that raw out truth and i just thought i'd metion it to help any one who gets bullied.

Krissy:)

I agree Krissy, a lot of the time it is because they are afraid of the person. People are bullied because they're different, because they don't fit into what other people consider "normal".
I think that this scares people because maybe it makes them think that maybe they're the one who isn't "normal" so they try to put the other person down and make them look like the one who's strange and not normal.

I agree Krissy, a lot of the time it is because they are afraid of the person. People are bullied because they're different, because they don't fit into what other people consider "normal".
I think that this scares people because maybe it makes them think that maybe they're the one who isn't "normal" so they try to put the other person down and make them look like the one who's strange and not normal.I disagree. I mean, you are right in a way, but I'm going from my personal experience with bullying. I was a bully when I was younger, but I didn't bully because I was scared of the person. I did it for a sense of power. I had my reasons... I'm not saying what they were; however if you know me and what happened to me, you'll understand my need for the power back then. I did it because someone had power over me, so I needed power over someone else. Some bullies do it because they want power over someone else, like in my case. Most of them have had tramatizing experiences in their lives, and want to take out their frustrations and wants on someone else.

I was also bullied relentlessly, even though I was a bully. I got picked on for my race, for the way I acted, many different things. I got called a lot of names, and I got into a couple different fights here and there. I don't remember much of it; I blocked most of my childhood out which includes the bullying.

But yeah, there's my input. :)

i get bullied all the time
since umm, like 6 years ago
i told people about it
now its just getting worse
its just people calling me names
but its all building up, and its happening everyday
:(

i get bullied all the time
since umm, like 6 years ago
i told people about it
now its just getting worse
its just people calling me names
but its all building up, and its happening everyday
:(

Keep ya head up!
I think people who feel like they have to bully someone else are just poor. They have problems and they try to pretend it in that way, or maybe they are afraid of being bullied themselves.
I've had such experiences, too. In my former school, where I am no more, cause I finished it, I've been bullied, too. Cause I was pretty good in school, and because I am German. And I have to say, that I am NOT proud of it and I surely didn't seem to be so! Well...I was very sad and angry, then. And I haven't told many people. I think it's so ridiculous to bully someone, just because they're different. I just hate that! It makes me so angry...
Well I hope you guys can still have a good time and don't let them break you down...

thanks
and i agree, it sucks so bad
but y'know
im a bit better today
i hope it goes better for you at your new school :)

Oh, I'm so glad you feel better..I hope it'll stay that way! and remember: there are a lot of people here who are listening and accept you:)
And yes, since summer, when I changed school, it's been much better. I'm so grateful for that..

You have been through alot, i'm glad telling us them things you feel better. I can't even get my head around how strong you've been!

love safrina xxx

Everyone, thank you so much for having the courage to share your stories. The reason I started this thread was not simply to just give people advice but also to give people a chance to talk about their experiences with others who have been there.

You are all such strong, amazing beautiful people and I know that you will all make it through and turn out to be well-rounded, compassionate, strong and understanding adults. :)

Here's the deal: I'm basically ostracized at school. I have only a few good friends, but I don't see any of them for very long. Some of those who ostracize me used to be my friends, but they no longer talk to me for some unknown reason. I hear unkind things being said behind my back. And I'm confused. Help! Please? PM me with suggestions.

IM one of the "Unpopular" kids. what really brought me down was when i got really into evanescence. people started calling me a nerd. I used to not like girls in my school, until now. im trying to get into the nice "Popular " people (WHich there are some) SOmetimes i wish i could just run away from schoool. I still want to stay at this school, becuause its a great school with a great staff. One time a little while ago, i was being made fun of, and it was the last straw. i started getting really quiet, and sad. Just then the girl i liked came up to me and started talking to me. i feel soo bad because i was mumbling and she was trying to make me happier. Now im soo mad at myself for not being... i cant find the word... more happy mabey. sometimes i feel like im the only one at my shcool besides one other kid, who gets bullied. I feel like i have bareley any friends, and they are barely my friends (except for the ones outside of school). could somebody help me?

http://evboard.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=12258&stc=1&d=1144335776

I'll keep this short.
[lengthy post edited out]
God, I want to walk into school one day and execute them all.OK , Panty. I know I posted in your introduction thread that I liked your username, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to law down the law here.

You should be REALLY careful about saying things like that in the internet. People have been arrested for making similar threats even when they were just 'jokes' or 'venting some frustration'.

Legalities aside, that's the kind of language that we just don't appreciate here on EvBoard. Take all this into consideration before you make your next post please.

They say time heals all wounds. Which is true in a sense.

But, you'll never completly get over it. I found that to be my situation. There's still apart of me that gets angry when i see stuff on tv like school shootings, and stories about kids getting bullied.

It is hard, and it is stuff. But, they are not looking down at you, they are looking up at you. They see something in you that intimidates them and so they try to bring you down.

Nobody beats a dead dog (That's not an insult) and nobody throws rocks and a fruitless tree.

But, they are not looking down at you, they are looking up at you. They see something in you that intimidates them and so they try to bring you down.

Well said. Bullies get their power by taking it from you. They need to bring you down to make themselves feel better. It is annoying, and it hurts so much when everyone seems to be laughing at your expense. And there is nothing you can do, because no matter what you do, whether ignoring it, or confronting them, or trying to insult them back, they still come at you.

Best revenge is to not let it get to you and make something of yourself. Don't believe what they are telling you. Who are they to judge you?

I have run into, or heard things about many of the "popular" kids who had so much fun at my expense. Most of them have not made anything of themselves.

When you are bullied, you gain a lot of internal strength. That guides you through life, and lets you know you can do anything. The bullies, well, they don't know anything except making other people feel like shit. When they get into the real world, they'll realize that they have no marketable skills.

Sorry DhammaSeeker it won't happen again, I was just quite frustrated at the time, and that is why that came out.

Hey, Panty, I know just how you feel!




I used to get bullied all the time at school. I was a loner, and a teachers pet, you could say. I wanted good grades, and got them, and was called a nerd because of it.

I made the huge mistake of dobbing in some girls smoking in the girls toliets. They were suspended, then slammed my head into a locker the day they returned to school.

In year 10, things became really bad. Everyone found out I was gay, and teased me about it. I was called all the names under the sun, and no one wanted to come near me. It was like I was contagious or something. They'd throw things at me in the classroom, kick and slap me when I went to get my bags at the end of the day. I never expected so much hatred from them! What hurt most of all is that the teachers were aware of what was happening, but did nothing at all to prevent it. In fact, they told my mum it would be better to take me out of school, rather than keep me there, because they 'couldn't cope' with it all. What bullshit. They could have suspended the bullies, or even expelled them. Hell, they deserved it, after what they did to me.

I would like to see teachers do more to combat homophobia in schools. They may try to stop bullying, but they do nothing about the homophobic insults hurled at you, day in, day out. It's time something was done about it. Racism isn't accepted in schools, and neithor should homophobia.

Autumn Dreams, prehaps some of the bullies themselves were gay, but couldn't say anything because of their reputation, so therefore took it out on you. Just being different, ie liking Metal or wearing black nail varnish gets you branded 'gay' at my school, it's like a bullies main insult these days. They're all very homephobic (sp?).

at various stages in my life bullying has destroyed everything. the trouble is that the first time i was bullied i went to a teacher who told me i was overreacting and i should laugh it off. they taunted me everyday and smashed my head against a wall and she said i was overreacting. but from that day on i got in the mindset that it was my fault. i still feel that way. i dont know what sins im paying for but i must be a seriously awful person! people tell me this isnt true, but i still cant help believing it, your mind does that if you hate yourself. anyone got any advise for getting into a more positive mindset about myself? if not, no worries.
love
pi

at various stages in my life bullying has destroyed everything. the trouble is that the first time i was bullied i went to a teacher who told me i was overreacting and i should laugh it off. they taunted me everyday and smashed my head against a wall and she said i was overreacting. but from that day on i got in the mindset that it was my fault. i still feel that way. i dont know what sins im paying for but i must be a seriously awful person! people tell me this isnt true, but i still cant help believing it, your mind does that if you hate yourself. anyone got any advise for getting into a more positive mindset about myself? if not, no worries.
love
pi

pi,
You were not overreacting. That is serious business. Sometimes God gives you trials to make you a stronger person, not because you've done anything wrong. Trust me, it happened to me and it's still happening today- Just look at my post on ostracism on page 7. But I'm a better person because of it. Hope this helped.
<3 Ceit

I find teachers to often ineffective when attempting to combat bullying, sometimes talking to them makes the issue at hand worse. I dont advocate this unless neccasy, but sometimes fighting, even a losing fight can get people to stop. It worked for me after I started working out....;

Autumn Dreams, prehaps some of the bullies themselves were gay, but couldn't say anything because of their reputation, so therefore took it out on you. Just being different, ie liking Metal or wearing black nail varnish gets you branded 'gay' at my school, it's like a bullies main insult these days. They're all very homephobic (sp?).


That's something that always happened to me as well. I would have all these guys accusing me of being gay, but then they would sit down in my table and, make propositions you know, (Asking for sexual favors)

That always, baffled me you know?

Sorry DhammaSeeker it won't happen again, I was just quite frustrated at the time, and that is why that came out.

I know exactly how you feel. He busted me for saying something like that too.

When I was born, two things came with me: A high IQ and Asperger's syndrome. People didn't find out about my IQ until kindergarden, and didn't find about Asperger until like a year ago...

The thing is, I entered primary school at the age of five, while other kids were 6, 7 or even 8 years old, and also I was the shortest. It was a catholic feminine school. The bullying came from the teachers at first, they didn't like me because I was ascended one course and because I wasn't able to do things like write or cut or things like that. So they gave me the worst grades possible, and even once my class director hit me. I told my parents and the teacher was fired. I didn't have friends because a) lack of ability b) they didn't want to talk to me because I ascended one course and c) I spend as much time at hospital as I spent at school.

When I entered into second grade, situation was far different. Second grade teachers loved me and the other girls made fun of me, saying I was in love with the physical ed teacher and calling me nerd, know-it-all, heartless, ugly, etc... and pulling my hair or pushing me, and I was too little or weak to defend myself. I didn't talk at all, not even to participate in class, and when they went physical, I cried.

In seventh grade, I moved to another school with the same characteristics, and things got worse, because girls wanted to blame me for everything bad that could possibly happen. When teacher asked us to get into groups for a work, it was hell since I had no friends and I also didn't know how to speak to people. When that happened, usually the teacher would get me into a group. That was humiliating for me, why didn't she just let me do it just myself, since I am perfectly capable? teachers do that because they think "oh, I'll get her into a group and they will welcome her and be friends of her and she will not be alone anymore, the poor girl"---> they are actually putting the prey in the mouth of the predator. So normally I ended doing almost the whole work.

They insulted me or called me names, but a lot of the times I didn't understand or I didn't care or i was too lazy to reply, and that got them mad. they also said I was ugly and that's why I didn't have a boyfriend. Sometimes they came and asked me "Hey, how's your boyfriend?" Once, they called me a bad friend because I didn't want to eat a plate of vegetables everybody had to eat if we wanted to save an hypothetical boat to sink (it was to show us the value of friendship), while our eyes were covered. I cried in front of the whole class because I thought they would make me eat the plate, and I was saying that was not going to eat the plate since a) the boat didn't exist, b) if it were about to sink eating a plate of hideous vegetables wouldn't help at all, c) in many real situations, I had helped people in the classroom and d) they were not my friends, so technically I was not a "bad friend" for not helping them. Teacher and some girls recognized I was right.

But one day, I was (again) gotten into a group and (again) I ended up doing the whole work. They revised it and decided it was not good, so they decided I was not in the group anymore, and they went away with the work to another classroom. I went behind them to the other classroom too, calmly, without signs of anger or emotions and quietly. When I got there, I took the work from them and I said it was right to get me out of the group and i would present a work alone, but they had to do their own work. Then, I destroyed the work completely, threw the chairs down and burned their notebooks with a lighter. I did this because I had too much anger and I didn't want to actually hurt them physically, so I released all my anger against things. When teachers found out, I told them what happened and gave them all my reasons, so they got an automatic 0 por trying to steal someone's work, and I was able to present the work alone and got an "excellent". No need to say they freaked out and never tried to even ask time "what time is it?". Except for one time we were in a school act and one of the girls was teasing me, so when I couldn't contain myself anymore, I kicked her on the leg. Discipline coordinator saw me doing this, so she called my dad and told him what happened so he would give me what I deserved for this. When I got home that day, he congratulated me and said he was proud of me. Now I am in university and there are girls who I don't talk to, but no bullying, and also there are guys who are somewhat my friends. The ironic things of the situation are that the bullies were not the popular girls. Actually the popular girls didn't bully anyone, and that those same girls cheered me whenever I went on stage to sing.

I know this may not be considered the best advice for people for are being bullied, but Machiavelli was right: well dosified cruelty is the best in those cases. Do one thing really, really mean to them without showing anger but not putting yourslef in risk of being discovered by teachers or something. Just make them know you're scary. They won't want to be your friends for sure, but they weren't your friends anyway, and you don't need friends like that, and they won't mess with you anymore.

I used to be bullied a lot in the eighth grade. The boys in my class would throw things at me and leave bruises on my arms. One day they went too far by throwing a CD case at me, so I refused to go to school. That was really the wrong thing to do. I should have stood up for myself rather than putting off my life for something stupid that some amatuer did to me. I know it's easier said than done, but if