I was wondering if you all had a favorite quote. Like from a movie or a book or something.

Mine is the one on my sig. It's from the Dune trilogy. It's called the Litany Against Fear.

Some other good ones are:

"Graves at my command have waked their sleepers, op'd and let them forth, by my so potent art."-Shakespeare-The Tempest

"Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt? May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonized as in that hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love" -Charlotte Bronte-Jane Eyre

its likely not exact but from con-air when malkovich says to cage "move and the bunny gets it"

"I don't want the world... I just want your half."
- They Might Be Giants, "Ana Ng"

<3/Katie

We plan ahead so we don't have to do anything right now. ---Tremors

Here's a couple longer ones...


"No man alive and walking through the night except the restless spirits moving southward toward the sapphire grids. Yet I am up and about, a walking host, a white man terrorized by the cold sanity of this slaughterhouse geometry. Who am I? What am I doing here?" pg 282-282

Things, certain things about my old idols bring the tears to my eyes; the interruptions, the disorder, the violence, above all, the hatred they aroused. When I think of their deformities, of the monstrous styles they chose, of the flatulence and tediousness of their works, of all the chaos and confusion the wallowed in, of the obstacles they heaped up about them, I feel an exaltation. They were all mired in their own dung. All men who over-elaborated. So true is it that I am almost tempted to say: "Show me a man who over-elaborates and I will show you a great man!" What is called their "over-elaboration" is my meat: it is the sign of struggle, it is struggle itself with all the fibers clinging to it, the very aura and ambiance of the discordant spirit. And when you show me a man who expresses himself perfectly I will not say that he is not great, but I will say that I am unattracted? I miss the cloying qualities. When I reflect that the task which the artist implicitly sets himself is to overthrow existing values, to make of the chaos about him an order which is his own, to sow strife and ferment so that by the emotional release those who are dead may be restored to life, then it is that I run with joy tot he great and imperfect ones, their confusion nourishes me, their stuttering is like divine music to my ears. I see in the beautifully bloated pages that follow the interruptions the erasure of petty intrusions, of the dirty footprints, as it were, of cowards, liars, thieves, vandals, caluminators. I see in the swollen muscles of their of their lyric throats the staggering effort that must be made to turn the wheel over, to pick up the pace where one has left off. I see that behind the daily annoyances and intrusions, behind the cheap, glittering malice of the feeble and inert, there stands the symbol of life's frustrating power, and that he who would create order, he who would sow strife and discord, because he is imbued with will, such a man must go again and again to the stake and the gibbet. I see that behind the nobility of his gestures there lurks the specter of the ridiculousness of it all - that he is not only sublime, but absurd.
Pg 252-253

And the "roman candle" passage from Kerouac's "On the Road" is so inspirational, as well, but my book is packed up so I can't type it up for y'all.

Cool, I found the other one online...


But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"


Jack and Allen in those days are my heroes. I'll neve achieve the freedom and love and excitement of those two.

*sigh*

"Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men?" - The Shadow


"Man created machine. And machine. Machine created music. And machine saw everything it had made and said, 'behold.'" - Kathy's Song, VNV Nation/Apoptygma Berzerk

Two things are true, the universe, and stupid people, even though the universe might not be true, the second one is.

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

It is better to be hated for what you love than loved for what you are not.



I'm sure I can think of some more laters. :D

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'G'
Of Edward's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Clarence comes."

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

I just love how everyone and their brother has that as a bumper sticker/shirt/sig yada---i just find it funny...so many people try so hard to be different they just trick themselves into being just like so many others--becoming too concerned with stereotypes leave you in one itself

Another bumper sticker I've seen that I like:


I miss my ex... But my aim is getting better.


Sincerely,
The Master

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

I just love how everyone and their brother has that as a bumper sticker/shirt/sig yada---i just find it funny...so many people try so hard to be different they just trick themselves into being just like so many others--becoming too concerned with stereotypes leave you in one itself

I wish I could say that, but after all, this is Arkansas and being goth means you're a freak! But ask anyone who knows me, they'll all tell you that I have my own little weird thing goin on. Which is cool because that's me. :)

hrmm my fac quote...
"korn wont play with us cause they're scared we will take their fans,which we will"-shawn frm slipknot

"you cant love other people till you learn how to love yourself ot love yourself you have to look inside you and see whats there"-my sister jenny

my favorite bumper stickers:

"Mean people suck."

"Your kid may be an honor student, but YOU'RE still an idiot!"

"Join the Army: see the world, travel to exotic destinations, meet new and interesting people, and then kill them."

"So other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

various quotes:

"Ya know, I don't think it's fair that Monopoly is only made by one company..." -anonymous

"To forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to find that the prisoner was YOU." - seen on a church bulletin board

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you're a mile away, and you have his shoes...!" - not sure where I got this from.

If PRO is the opposite of CON... Is Congress the opposite of Progress?


Sincerely,
The Master

"the martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstacies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. by its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude."

aldous huxley

funny that when i post that it should put me all alone on the next page...

"Life is an unrelenting comedy.
Therein lies the tragedy." -Dean Koontz

"The greater your intellect, the bigger mistakes you can allow yourself to make." -My personal quote (part of my philosophy)

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein

Villain: "Clark, I have the power to do anything I want. What would you do if you had this much power?"

Clark Kent: "I'd use it to stop people like you." -Smallville
P.S. Master, I am probably f*cking up this quote, so feel free to edit it.

jus some word that pop up in my head frm friends
"groovy"-kailynn
"coolies"-sammi

other things

"i dont know why i love you so much"-adema
"i cant see from here,but i can smell your fear"-slipknot

“The vehicle of God’s presence is our worship.”
-- John Cooper, Skillet

“I don’t like anything here at all. Step or stone, breath or bone. Earth, air, and water all seem accursed. But so our path is laid.”
-- Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings

“I believe in God, as I believe in the rising sun; not only because I see it, but by it, I see everything else.”
-- C.S. Lewis

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. Allen Ginsberg, from "Howl"
:infinity:

From Virtual Mode by Piers Anthony:
"I like to consider myself apart from the whole Earth. There is no dignity left. I would like to be able to float away with my books and music and my guitar. It just seems to me that there are few people left with any integrity, and two of them happen to be my favorite writer and my favorite musician. I do too much thinking for my own good. I compose poetry in my head, but it won't come out right on paper. It's depressing. i dream too much also. I have so many ambitions and I am crushed when I realize how very few will ever be achieved. I want to be an author, a musician, a veterinarian, a researcher working with dolphins and other marine life, a friend of those I admire. I want to be someone who would die for her cause. I want to be creative. I want to be a starving artist. I want to always be traveling, never in one place for long. I want to be defending everyone's rights, especially animals and women. I want to be free, inspiring, compassionate. I want to be everything. I want to live under a night sky with someone I love intensely, and never have to move. To sit and gaze at the heavens with someone. I want never to be tied down or held back as I am now. Above all, I want to be free. I want it to be nighttime forever."

"everyone and their brother"....don't remember who said it on the first page but that's hella funny...my new favorite quote. :D I've got soooo many more though. Maybe I'll post 'em later.

I've always thought it would be a fun social commentary pic to take a picture of a mall square, filled to the brim with identical looking, spiked bleached blond hair, teenage males, all wearing the "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" shirt. So I'm going to do that in a week or two for my college paper.

Some favorites:
People demand freedom of speech to compensate for the freedom of thought which they lack.
To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities - I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not - that one endures.
He who cannot walk ought to dance!
I caught this insight on the way and quickly seized the rather poor words that were closest to hand to pin it down lest it fly away again. And now it has died of these arid words and shakes and flaps in them - and I hardly know any more when I look at it how I could ever have felt so happy when I caught this bird.
When I die, I would rather people ask why I don't have a monument than why I have one.

More later, perhaps.

DISCLAIMER: the following sayings are by no means sayings by which influence or rule my life. they're just things i laugh at and thereby add humor my sometimes un funny world. (I will edit this later when I'm at home with all my "real" quotes)

3. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
6. Sign in a CHINESE Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
7. I have my own little world. But it's OK... they know me here.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas ... I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
11. The most precious thing we have is life..... Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
12. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
13. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades... now THAT'S a message!
15. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.
16. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
18. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
19. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
22. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
24. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
25. The difference between snowmen and snow women is snowballs

"Savor every moment, you never know when it will end." anonymous

unsarcastic, i know..but give me a minute!

"There are three types of lies in this world, Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics." - Mark Twain


Sincerely,
The Master

Okay, I got these off stickers and stuff...probably wont be able to remember them all tough.

"I'm not shallow, I just don't like ugly people"
"you're soo off my buddy list!"
"Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have a penny"
"Holy G-force Batman! The blood is rushing to our heads!"-simpsons
"Shawn, we're the same height, that is neat..."-orange county
"Shouldn't you be wearing a helmet or something?"

Well, thought of more than I thought I'd be able to. :turn-l:

"The claim to equality, outside the strictly political field, is made only by those who feel themselves to be in some way inferior."

"We do not truly see light, we only see slower things lit by it, so that for us light is on the edge--the last thing we know before things become too swift for us."

and, of course, what quote post would be complete without....

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

-Einstein

"I do not fear an army of lions, if they are led by a lamb. "I do fear an army of sheep, if they are led by a lion."

-Alexander the Great

I love war quotes... great leaders give the best quotes... Patton has some of the coolest

*reviving old thread*

I was reading over some old threads and while reading this a lot of good ones came to mind. Most of these are from movies and tv. I watched a lot of both growing up, so a lot of one liners are permanently ingrained in my head.

"In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey. The monkey will spank us."-Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

"If it's brown[water] drink it down. If it's black send it back."- Homer, The Simpsons

"Nice shot, whore."-Fez, That 70s Show

"Hey son. Have any girls called you this week? No? How about last week? No? Well, son, you didn't get any calls from girls this week and you didn't get any calls last week. So you know what that means? Zero plus zero equals FAG!!" Father, Kids in the Hall

"Give me my tea you bastard." Tea Addict, Kids in the Hall

"I know you'll never love me. I know I'm a monster but you treat me like a man and that....go get your stuff." Spike, Buffy The Vampire Slayer[i]

Aeryn: That woman gives me a woody.
Crighton: Excuse me?
Aeryn: She gives me a woody. I've heard you say it when you don't trust someone.
Crighton: The willies. She gives you the willies.
Farscape

Barry: Who's the jerk who calls himself the Tick?!
Tick: I would be that jerk!
[i]The Tick

Tick: Spoon!!
The Tick

Here's a few from Seinfeld:

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!!"-George Costanza

"SERENITY NOW!!!"-George Costanza

"The dingo ate'cho baby."-Elaine

"Giddiup."-Kramer

Kramer(on dentists)-You are a rabid anti-dentite!! Next thing, you'll be saying that they should have their own schools!
Jerry- They do have their own schools.
Kramer-See!!

Customer- Despacio, por favor.
Soup Nazi- Por favor?
Customer- I'm part mexican.
Soup Nazi- Oh really? You know what I think? ADIOS MUCHACHO! NO SOUP FOR YOU!

American Pie 2-

"Oh my God they're fucking!!"- Jim's mom

"Howdy, howdy, fuckin pardners!"-Stifler

"Dude, step away from the ficus. That's a jiz free ficus."-Stifler

A Beautiful Mind-

"I don't exactly know what I'm supposed to say so that you'll have intercourse with me."- John Nash

Here's a few from Seinfeld:

"SERENITY NOW!!!"-George Costanza

"The dingo ate'cho baby."-Elaine

Customer- Despacio, por favor.
Soup Nazi- Por favor?
Customer- I'm part mexican.
Soup Nazi- Oh really? You know what I think? ADIOS MUCHACHO! NO SOUP FOR YOU!

:rofl: i :heart: Seinfeld!!! the ep with George trying to combine sex, tv and food is so great. or the ep where Jerry plays with all his gf's toys while she sleeps. OOH! Elaine and her dancing?? and the one where Kramer marinates himself in butter so well that Newman tries to eat him - ah, too many to choose.

A Beautiful Mind-

"I don't exactly know what I'm supposed to say so that you'll have intercourse with me."- John Nash

Russell Crowe did such a good job with that movie - and that's also one of my fav. lines from the movie.

i have tlked about it before but the princess bride has the v best quotes EVER!

"why can't i move my head?"
"you've been mostly dead all day."

"Let me splain...no there is to much..letme sumup. buttercup es marry humperdink in lil less than half an hr. so all we have to do is get in brake up the wedding still the princess make our exseape, after i koill count rugan."
"That doesn't leave much time for dilydallying."

and them there is Toy story..
"Ill set my Lazar from stun, to Kill"
"OH great, Great, if anyone tries to attac us, you can blink um to death."

"THEY"RS GANA EAT US BUZZ DO SOMTHING!"
"shild your eyes*blinkylights and lazar sound*"

:rofl: i :heart: Seinfeld!!! the ep with George trying to combine sex, tv and food is so great. or the ep where Jerry plays with all his gf's toys while she sleeps. OOH! Elaine and her dancing?? and the one where Kramer marinates himself in butter so well that Newman tries to eat him - ah, too many to choose.[/color]\

Seinfeld is a hilarious show. Oh, that reminds me:

Jerry- Hello Newman.
Newman-Hello Jerry

Priceless.

you know what show has the absolute, most wonderful quotes?

the golden girls..

i've been a diehard fan of that show since the 8th grade (it ended in the early 90's), and they have some amazingly funny and sarcastic humor.. im not sure if it's on all over, but it's on very frequently over here.

Speaking of TV shows with great dialogue, I absolutely love Gilmore Girls. Probably some of the best writing I've seen for a TV show in a VERY long time. It actually reminds me at times of old Bogart movies, where the lines are just moving back and forth really quickly, each one wittier than the last. Gilmore Girls is probalby the only show on TV today that I watch religiously, and it's the only one that consistently makes me laugh out loud every episode.

RORY: An ice cream maker!
SOOKIE: A Musso Lussino 480!
LORELAI: Somebody sent me a fascist ice cream maker?


LORELAI: You know, we talked about all the things we had in common and then the salad came.
RORY: Not a soulmate?
LORELAI: He's never seen Ab Fab.
RORY: Definitely not a soulmate.
LORELAI: Plus, he's outdoorsy. Remember that Meryl Streep movie where she and her family take a rafting trip and then psycho Kevin Bacon forces them to take 'em down the river?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Okay, that's his dream vacation, minus Kevin Bacon.
RORY: Wow.
LORELAI: Whereas mine is Kevin Bacon, minus the river, so…

Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) in AMERICAN BEAUTY
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened
to me, but it's hard to be angry when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and I can't take it. My heart swells up like a balloon that's about to burst. But then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then, it flows through me like rain and I feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday.


Angelica Huston as Morticia in ADDAMS FAMILY VALUESI'm just like every modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family. I only wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.


Christina Ricci, as Wednesday playing a Native American character during a Thanksgiving play in AFV
Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot h'ors d'ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

Oh, was I supposed to say something witty and quoteable?
- Me

Like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free
- Leonard Cohen

In the days, the golden days when everybody knew what they wanted
It ain't here today
- Portishead, 'Dreams'


":*:Gypsy:*:"

Speaking of TV shows with great dialogue, I absolutely love Gilmore Girls. Probably some of the best writing I've seen for a TV show in a VERY long time. It actually reminds me at times of old Bogart movies, where the lines are just moving back and forth really quickly, each one wittier than the last. Gilmore Girls is probalby the only show on TV today that I watch religiously, and it's the only one that consistently makes me laugh out loud every episode.

d00d! that's one of MY favorite shows. How 'bout that hug-a-world??? (cracked me up)

"SERENITY NOW!!!"-George Costanza

HOOCHIE MAMA!!!- George Costanza :D

From Futurama-

"You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Office Space-
"Peter ... Watch out for your cornhole..." - Lawrence

Speaking of TV shows with great dialogue, I absolutely love Gilmore Girls. Probably some of the best writing I've seen for a TV show in a VERY long time. It actually reminds me at times of old Bogart movies, where the lines are just moving back and forth really quickly, each one wittier than the last. Gilmore Girls is probalby the only show on TV today that I watch religiously, and it's the only one that consistently makes me laugh out loud every episode.

d00d! that's one of MY favorite shows. How 'bout that hug-a-world??? (cracked me up)

I got my little brother, who's 19, to watch it with me once. At first, he was grumbling about having to watch a "girl show", but less than halfway through, he was laughing and telling me how good it was.

Now, if they just had Evanescence ON Gilmore Girls... I'd probably think I'd died and gone to heaven :)

favorite quotes...hmm... the whole Fight Club novel.

the one in my sig is from the film Pi.

"don't fall asleep or we'll mutilate your genitals." - Dog Fashion Disco

"are you a badass or just a fuckin' asshole?" - Mushroomhead

" the person you love isn't the one who loves you. " - Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

" it's a crazy fucked up world, and we're all just floating waiting for someone who can walk on water." - Heroin Bob in SLC Punk!

" it's like fucking Jesus Christ took a shit and it landed right here! " - Steve-O in SLC Punk!

i probably fucked a couple of those up.

Here's my favorites from the film, As Good As It Gets:

*Secretary: I just have to know. How do you write women so well?

Melvin Udall: Well, I think of a man...and I take away reason and accountability.

*Melvin Udall: Carol the Waitress, meet Simon the Fag.

*Melvin Udall: I'm drowning here! I need help and instead of pulling me out you're just describing the water around me![/i]

the person you love isn't the one who loves you. " - Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

Invisible Monsters is the best! My favorite quote from it has to be:

"No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close" - Chuck Palahniuk

"After all those years I was hurting to feel something more than life" - After All These Years, Silverchair (Diorama)

And don't even get me started on the House of Yes, I could go all day...There were NO BUBBLES!

"Jackie-O: I watch soap opera's. I bake brownies. Normalcy is pulsing through my veins."

"Mrs Pascal: Let's stick to the subject.
Marty: I have no idea what the subject is
Mrs. Pascal: I'll tell you what the subject is not
Marty: No Mama, that's too broad a category, tell me what the subject is."

"Mrs Pascal: I'm going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives."

Parker Posey is my god!

*sara

Besides these quotes - check out my quotes section (http://sparkley.net/michelle/quotes.html) over at my personal site :)
and if someone already posted any of these sorry. I don't have the attention span to check. lol.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. --Robin Williams

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen.
- - Dolly Parton

If you suck on a tit the movie gets an R rating. If you hack the tit off with an axe it will be PG. --Jack Nicholson


MY ALL TIME FAVORITE :
"I'm not mad he said he'd like to kick my ass, I just don't want to be used in the same sentence as Courtney Love. That's not on"
Marilyn Manson on being name-checked in The New Radicals song You Get What You Give.

L3/\/\/\/\3 7rY 7|-|47 4g4|/\/.....

Sex... Yes Please!

"-My wife complains that I never listen to her, or something like that..."

Some of my faves:

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
--Unknown

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief
--Marcus Tullius Cicero

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
--David Weatherford

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most.
--Sandra Bullock Hope Floats

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.
--Unknown

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
--Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

I think my fav is 1 from a dutch band called "de heideroosjes"
"I'm not deaf, i'm just ignoring you"
works everytime ;)

And my fave:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." ~Antoine de Saint-Expery

"What if the hokey pokey REALLY IS what it's all about?"

"Do Not Pass Go! Do Not Collect 200 Dollars!"

"This land is my land, this land is your land.... which explains all the lawsuits."

"This land is my land, this land is your land.... which explains all the lawsuits."

:rofl:

"Give me ambiguity, or give me something else!"

"I don't want the world... I just want your half."
- They Might Be Giants, "Ana Ng"

<3/Katie

I <3 you.


"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for"
-unknown

This is a great one from the movie Clue:

"I'm going home to sleep with MY wife."

from the recent agent x book:
"I think my spleen's on the roof. No Joke. I saw it. Bam, spleen on the roof." funny stuff

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

*i.e., everybody."

--GOOD OMENS by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

YES!!!

Well this one was used alot on the O-boards. (I think Xian Pu brought it up first):

NADAFINGA!!!!

"Join the Army: see the world, travel to new and exciting locations, meet new people, and then kill them."

"Kill a beaver, save a tree."

bumper sticker:
"So other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

"Kill a beaver, save a tree."



I thought it was "Eat a beaver, save a tree"

eat, kill, I think killing happens when you eat it. :) does it matter?

"When I die, I wanna go out like my grandfather- peacefully in his sleep. Not like the screaming passengers in his car."

I forgot about one.... Dixie Cafe:

"Come eat down South!"

eat, kill, I think killing happens when you eat it. :) does it matter?


Yes it does matter because its not talking about an actual beaver and an actual tree, there is a hidden meaning. Thats why the quote is funny.

It only seems kinky the first time you do it :!:
:whip:

"You must have stepped outside your head, water is for the weak... We will do Up Downs unitl Blue its no longer Tired out thristy."


I love that line



"My Shit ALWAYS works... Sometimes"


Angel :"They are undead remanimated with no purpose but to feed" (or something like that i can't remember the exact line)
Connor: "Like you.. right"
Angel: "They are nothing like me, there big, dumb dead things that don't have a will of their own"
Conor: " Just like You"


"So what do you think?"
"They're gonna Fcuk us the first chance they get"


"Toss Me.. come on lets go...Just don't tell the Elf"


"I can't see what is going on"
"Would like i got you a box to stand on"

“You know that feeling you get when you’re leaning back in a chair, just on the back two legs and you get to the point where you are just about to fall over backwards, but catch yourself just in time? I feel like that all the time.” ~Stephen Wright

“I too dabbled in pacifism once, dude. Not in ‘Nam of course…” ~Walter from “The Big Lebowski”

--kill a beaver save a tree.--

lol!


"The only thing necessary to evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." -Sir Edmund Burke

"It's not rape it it's dead!!"

"Oh Harry... if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet. *giggles*" -- Moaning Myrtle, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"It's not rape it it's dead!!"

"Oh Harry... if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet. *giggles*" -- Moaning Myrtle, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"spiders why'd it have to be spiders? why not follow the Butterflies?" -Ron


"HARRRRYYYY"
"hush ron*talks to the v uber ugly spider"
"HARRRRYYY"
"WHAT"
"look...can we panic now?"

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

Happy: You eat pieces of shit?

Shooter: ..............no.

"Kill a Dead Whale for Christ"

The most conservative quote you'll ever hear.

Ripper: "How much did they pay you to spy on us?"

Tank Girl: "Two Dollars and Fifteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen cents!"

or my other fav

Tank Girl: "I've got two words for you... BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"

Steve Martine in Roxanne:

"Awwww, whassa matter? Did your parents lose a bet with God?"

"The pigs have refused to find any more truffles until YOU leave!"

"Excuse me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away?"

"It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee, in Brazil."

"OOOO! How original! Most people just have their teeth capped!"

"Finally! A man that can satisy two women at once!"

"You must love the little birdies so much to give them this to perch on."

"Keep that guy away from my cocaine!!"

"Excuse me, would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo."

"Whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone!"

"Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?"

"You know, you could deemphasize your nose if you wore something smaller, like Wyoming."

"OOOO! I wish I were you! To be able to smell your own ear!..."

"Your name wouldn't happen to be Dick, would it?"

I can't remember the rest of the quotes, but it was from a bar scene where this guy insulted this character's nose and said that it was "big", so Steve Martin's character thought of "20 something betters". That's my fave scene from that movie.

"there ought to be limits on freedom."
--george w. bush

I forgot about one.... Dixie Cafe:

"Come eat down South!"

i think that's the same as the "eat a beaver" quote...

and you have no excuse not to get that, lou.

"I do fear an army of sheep [...]. "

Damn straight.

"I do fear an army of sheep [...]. "

Damn straight.

baa

I forgot about one.... Dixie Cafe:

"Come eat down South!"

i think that's the same as the "eat a beaver" quote...

and you have no excuse not to get that, lou.

Hey look it's a duck!

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."
- Mark Twain

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
-Douglas Adams

ah i love quotes!!!

some i like that havent been mentioned.... no offence to anyone, i just like them.


JESUS LOVES YOU everyone else thinks you're an asshole

dont laugh, you're daughter could be inside (a bumper sticker i saw on a panel wagon)

the only limit to our achievements is the thought that we cannot achieve

i dont wanna be lonely, i just wanna be alone (silverchair)

Man was created before woman... but then you always make a rough draft before creating a final masterpeice

IVE FOUND JESUS! He was behind the sofa the whole time! (one of my most commented on shirts)


and Cera, love the 'chair lyric!!

Ohh yeah, forgot about one of my favorites..

"How many tomatoes did you have to kill to make that salad?"

"Just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it evil"

"Gun control is HITTING what you're aiming for"

"Only the good die young"

Dating and prostitution aren't mutually exclusive. In both instances, the man has to spend money for a good time with a woman. Only with prostitution, he has a better chance of having a good time with the woman.

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life.

Kill one, you're a murderer. Kill a million, you're a conqueror. Kill everyone, you're a god.

Here's a couple from Robin Williams:

*Mary and Joe. We're only one hyphenate away from Mary-Jean and Joe-Bob. We coulda had Jim-Bob, The Son Of God. Praise to him, Jim-Bob. He who finds us stuff and gets me a job. JIM-BOB!!

*Utah declared Donnie and Marie Osmond as their first famous couple. That ain't right. They're only a couple in Arkansas.

*Next time you're in Amish country, if you see a man with his hand up a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. ;)

*[on drugs and their side effects] Anal leakage? That's not a side effect. That's more of an EFFECT really.

Let go of what you are and you might become what you could be.

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

"Hey, let's pick up that cute hitchhiker."
"No way. That's how a lot of horror movies start out."
"Yeah man, but that's how a lot of porno movies start out too!"
-Detroit Rock City

Here's a few from That 70s Show:

*Red: Jedi Knight, hah! More like Jedi Dumbass!

*Kitty: I know what secret ingredient you're putting in these brownies...LOVE!

*Hyde: Lori, you are soo gonna end up in porno.

*Kitty: Eric, your father's not drunk. He's just not feeling well
(few hours later)
Eric:Hello, Mom? I'm not feeling so well.

Here's a few from Family Guy:

*We now return to the Scooby Murder Files:

Fred: Gee, gang. It looks like the killer gutted the victim, strangled him with his own intestines, and then dumped the body in the river.

Velma: Jinkys! What a real murder mystery

Scooby: Rowowror (jumps into Shaggy's arms)

Fred: You're right, Scoob. We're dealing with one sick son of a bitch.

*Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Are you eighteen yet?
Meg: No.
Quagmire: ALLLRIIIIGHT.

*Quagmire: Whoa, I've never done it w/a Spanish chick before. HOOOLAAAYYY.

*Peter:Superman? What are you doing in Hell?
Superman: I killed a hooker. She made some crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet.

I have a bunch of great ones from movies, but i won't post them because somebody will be offended. If somebody really wants to hear them i'll post them later.

"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth!"-my friend

"Man, you done smoked your self retarded!" -Dave Chapelle

"Who in the fuck is talkin to you boy?" -Bricktop from the movie Snatch

"Generally speaking, somolians can't shoot for shit. You have to watch out for the ones throwing the rocks and the molotov cocktails." -somebody from Black Hawk Down


Zach

"i cant believe he went from me to that"..my quote

"he be lookin at me like he got a chance" nessah ... at the club

"It's not that I'm lazy. I just don't care."

-Peter from Office Space

every time a good movie is on comedy central someone always pops in and puts a quote in hehehe

classic, classic movie!


"Don't run! We are your friends!"

-the aliens in Mars Attacks!, saying this while shooting people up left and right.

"Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!" Doctor Lizardo in Buckaroo Banzai

"There's a new love that's born... for each one that has died."

-from 'Home' and 'Metropolis pt 1' by Dream Theater

"its great to be working with proper vilans again" -Basher Oceans 11

"Oh no, you did NOT shoot that green sh*t at me!"

-Will Smith's character from Independence Day

"oh no, i seen this movie, the black dude dies first!" Harry Block Evolution

"It's either the one that says 28 or the one that says 90. And if it's neither of those... try the rest."

-- receptionist upon giving me a ring of about 3 dozen keys when I needed to open a storage closet


"Haha. Well I knew it was on there somewhere."

-- receptionist upon my getting back 20 minutes later and reporting that it was actually the one that said 95

my goodness. i lost it all! it boiled down to The Doors quotes, Pink Floyd quotes, and damn i dont remember...

"Here's a book that's as warm and melty as grilled swiss on seven grain bread and, and just as wholesome and substantial."
- the reading teacher at our school

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- ?

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

There are 2 kinds of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her joke on Wednesday.


Lord of the Rings Quotes

"shall i describe it to you or shall i find you a box?"
*:heart: Legolas :heart:*

"Nobody tosses a dwarf"
...and one movie later...
"toss me... don't tell the elf"
*Gimli*
"it comes in pints? i'm getting one!"
*Pippin*

Keep it secret keep it safe.
Is it secret is it safe?
*Gandalf*

"BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT MISTAKE ME FOR A CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS! i'm not trying to rob you. i'm trying to help you"
*Gandalf*

"are you frightened? not frightened enough!"
*:heart: aragorn :heart:*

ok. i think i'll stop here before i have the entire movie in this thread because frankly it's the only movie i know by heart to quote and im too lazy to look up others. i had a million song quotes but of course they fade into oblivion.

and my personal favorite...
"don't drink and drive. you might hit a bump and drop your beer"

Bart: "Wow, God is so in your face."
Homer: "Yeah. He's my most favorite fictional character."

Homer (singing): "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T."

From Good Omens:
Leonardo da Vinci (on the Mona Lisa):
"I got her bloody smile right in the roughs, but it went all over the place when I painted it. Her husban had a few things to say about it when I delivered it, but , like I tell him, 'Signor del Giocondo, apart from you, who's going to see it?' Anyway....tell me about this helicoopter thing again will you?"

"It is said that the devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But heaven has the best choreoraphers."

"And now it was three o'clock. The antichrist had been on earth for fifteen hours, and one angel and one demon had been drinking solidly for three of them".

The Angel Aziraphale and the Demon Crowley, both of whom are drunk (on eternity):(long, but funny)

"Crowley:'You know what eternity is? You know what eternity is?I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird-'

'What little bird?'said Aziraphale suspiciously.

'This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-'

'The same bird every thousand years?'

Crowley hesitated. 'Yeah,' he said.

'Bloody ancient bird, then.'

'Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-'

'-limps-'

'- flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-'

'Hold on. You cant do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of-.....loads of buggerall dear boy.'

'But it gets there anyway,' Crowley persevered.

'How?'

'It doesnt matter!'

'It could use a spaceship,' said the angel.

'Yeah, if you like. Anyway, this bird-'

'Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about. So it'd have to be one of those spaceships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, 'When you get to the mountain, you've got to'....what have you got to do?'

'Sharpen it's beak on the mountain. and then it flies back.'

'-In the space ship-'

'And after a thousand years, it does it all again' said crowley.

There was a moment of drunken silence.

'Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak,' mused Aziraphale.

'Listen,' said Crowley urgently, 'the point is that when the bird has worn down the mountain down to nothing, right, then-'

Aziraphale opened his mouth. Crowley just knew he was going to make some point about the relative hardness of birds' beaks and granite mountains, and plunged on quickly.

'-then you still wont have have finished watching The Sound of Music.'"

Good Omens is one of the best books I've ever read. My sig is from a book from Pratchett's Discworld series (I think it's Interesting Times, but I'm not quite certain).

moved

RIP old dead thread....use the shiny new one guys :D

Just because I have a stinkin' job I hate, a family that doesn't respect me and a town that curses the day I was born... Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something; every morning when I wake up I know it's not gonna get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still frozen Pop-tart, get in my car, with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, but I'm not a loser because despite it all, me and every other guy who will never be what he wanted to be, are still out there being what we don't wanna be forty hours a week for life, and the fact I haven't put a gun in my mouth makes me a winner.

- Al Bundy

Random Quotes

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't." -- source unknown

It could be that your purpose in life is only to serve as a warning to others." -- author unknown
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." --Jacques Derrida
"The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking." -- Albert Einstein, Out of My Later Years
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." -- Rudyard Kipling
"Plausibility is the opiate of the intellectual." --Miles and Huberman, Qualitative Data Analysis, p. 264
"Humans create their cognitive powers by creating the environments in which they exercise those powers" -- Edwin Hutchins, Cognition in the Wild
For researchers pursuing the truth rather than a result that others are willing to accept as part of a mutual self-deception..." -- Stanley Lieberson, Making It Count

"The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking." -- John Kenneth Galbraith

"Great thinkers often learn, to their surprise, that new ideas are less than welcome." -- Gerd Gigerenzer, Adaptive Thinking, p. 46

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and many do." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Stupidity is always astounding, no matter how often one encounters it." -- Jean Cocteau
"To be original is to discover the commonplace of a thousand years--to face at first the sneer that no one would have thought of it, and at last the indifference because any one would." -- Gerald Stanley Lee, 1896, The Shadow Christ

"The problem of eliminating false sentences by research, the traditional problem of epistemology, is not as problematic as the problem of having sentences interesting enough to be worth accepting or rejecting." -- Arthur Stinchcombe, Theoretical Methods in Social History, p. 115

"All men are created unequal."
"Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it."
"There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why fret about it?"
"Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect."
"By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man -- man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable ceompetition. He has no enemy to help him."
"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion."
"Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth."
"Small change can often be found under seat cushions."
"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate -- and quickly."
"Of all the strange 'crimes' that human beings have legislated out of nothing, 'blasphemy' is the most amazing -- with 'obscenity' and 'indecent exposure' fighting it out for second and third place."
"The phrase 'we (I) (you) simply must --' designates something that need not be done. 'That goes without saying' is a red warning. 'Of course' means you had best check it yourself. These small-change clichés and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers."
"Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs -- sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they'll make mistakes -- but that's their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)"
"There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk."
"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier."
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."
"Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse."
"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."
"Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark."
"An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications."
"In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil master.'"
"'No man is an island -- ' Much as we may feel and act as individuals, our race is a single organism, always growing and branching -- which must be pruned regularly to be healthy. This necessity need not be argued; anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth. Being an incurable sentimentalist I favor the former of these methods -- killing makes me queasy, even when it's a case of 'He's dead and I'm alive and that's the way I wanted it to be.' But this may be a matter of taste. Some shamans think that it is better to be killed in a way, or to die in childbirth, or to starve in misery, than never to have lived at all. They may be right. But I don't have to like it -- and I don't."
"What are the facts? Again and again and again -- what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what 'the stars foretell', avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable 'verdict of history' -- what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!"
"Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house."
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, buiild a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of -- but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."
"Thou shalt remember the Eleventh Commandment and keep it Wholly."
"A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an 'intellectual' -- find out how he feels about astrology."
"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
"Money is the sincerest of all flattery.
Women love to be flattered.
So do men."
"You live and learn. Or you don't live long."
"Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, 'equality' is a disaster."
"One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word."
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."
"Why should I fear death? If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not?"
-- Epicurus

"The word 'We' is as lime poured over men, which sets and hardens to stone, and crushes all beneath it, and that which is white and that which is black are lost equally in the grey of it."
-- Ayn Rand – Anthem
"To be human: to strive in the face of the certainty of failure."
-- Spider Robinson -- Stardance (Shara)
$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000, by which time it will be worth nothing. - Lazarus Long
Being intelligent is not a felony, but most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.
If Man were meant to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 disciples







Quotes from ‘Dune’

I am I because I am here.

What do you despise? By this are you truly known.

There is no escape-we pay for the violence of our ancestors.

Paradise on my right, Hell on my left, and the Angel of Death behind.

How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.

The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future.

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where there has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part upon the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected upon him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from belief in his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.

There is in all things a pattern that is part of our universe. It has symmetry, elegance, and grace-those qualities you find always in that which the true artist captures. You can find it in the turning of the seasons, on the way sand trails along a ridge, in the branch clusters of the creosote bush or the pattern of its leaves. We try to copy this perfection in our lives and our society, seeking the rhythms, the dances, the forms that comfort. Yet, it is possible to see peril in the finding of ultimate perfection. It is clear that the ultimate pattern contains its own fixity. In such perfection, all things move towards death.

Do you resettle with dreams?
Do you contend with shadows?
Do you move in a kind of sleep?
Time has slipped away.
Your life is stolen.
You tarry with trifles,
Victim of your folly.

"A wise man from my local guitar center once told me...
If u dont love Motley Crue, u dont love urself.....
I think there is truth to dat." - Ben Moody

You go to Hell! You go to Hell and you die! - Mr. Garrison

"Screw you guys....I'm goin home!! - Cartman


"F**k you Kyle!!!! - Cartman

"Tragedy is played out on the flesh" Jim Knipfel

"One doesn't fall in love in 5 seconds, but 5 seconds can set one dreaming of falling in love" - John Fowels

"If you are wise you will neve pity the past for what it did not know, but pity yourself for what it did." - John Fowels

*SCREAMING*
"WHAT'S THIS SHIT!! WHAT'S THIS BULLSHIT?!?! I DONT CARE, IT DONT MATTER TO JESUS!! YOU MIGHT FOOL THE FUCKS, IN THE LEAGUE OFFICE , BUT YOU DONT FOOL JESUS!! I WAS GONNA F**K YOU SATURDAY , I'LL F**K YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY INSTEAD!!!!
YOU GOT A BIG DAY WEDNESDAY BABY!!!!

-John tutoro (aka-jesus)
The big Lebowski (best movie ever)

sympathy? fuck sympathy, I need my fucking johnson!

"Yes. That's it, Mr. Anderson. Look past the flesh, look through the soft gelatin of these dull cow eyes and see your enemy." Posessed Bane from Matrix Revolutions.


"To endure oneself can be the hardest task in the Universe." Paul Muad'dib to the Ghola Duncan in Dune Messiah

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher regard those who think alike than those who think differently." -- Nietzsche

"I advise my students to listen carefully the moment they decide to take no more mathematics courses. They might be able to hear the sound of closing doors." -- CAIP Quarterly 2 (Fall, 1989).

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." -- Mark Twain

<<Wer mit Ungeheuern kampft, mag zusehn, daß er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein. >> -- Nietzsche

in ioci terribiles veritas

"Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house." -- Lazarus Long

"Thank you for the latest release of gradewrecker. My GPA just went in the corner and shot itself." -- USENET posting, author unknown (referring to NetHack)

"Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little-death that leads to total oblivion" -- Dune

"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting"

e. e. cummings

My favorite quote came from my 6 year old daughter :

Grandpa: "so honey what did you do last night?"

6 year old: "I did a book report"

Grandpa: "really, What did you do the report on?"

6 year old: "paper"

From Monty Python's Life of Brian...

"Always look on the bright side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)
Always look on the bright side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)

If life seems jolly rotten, there's one thing you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing...
So when you're in the dumps - Don't be silly chumps -
Just purse your lips and whistle! That's the thing!!

Aaand...

Always look on the bright side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)
Always look on the Light side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)

Cos life's a piece of shit... When you look at it...
Life's a laugh and death'sa joke - it's true...
The whole thing#s just a show - keep 'em laughing as you go...
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!!

Aaand...

Always look on the bright side of Death
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)
Just before you draw your terminal breath!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)

Cos life is quite absurd... and Death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sins - give the audience a grin!
Enjoy it! It's your last chance, anyhow...

Aaaand.....

Always look on the bright side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)
Always look on the Light side of life!
(whoo whoo.. whoo who who who who whoo!!)

Come on... you've come from nothin'... you're going back to nothin'.. What've you lost?? Nothing!!!

Give's a smile, y'old bugger!!!"

I swear - they're singing that at my funeral. :D

holy grail:

"ridden on a horse have you?"

"yes"

"no you didnt , you've got 2 coconuts , and your bangin em togetha"

"so"

"Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children."

"Suddenly, I heard a tapping, as if someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. You heard me rapping, right?"


From the movie The Crow. One of my favorite movies of all time :)

noones ever a virgin, life fucks ya everyday

"Live and learn. Die and forget it all."

"Ah come on , it's saint patty's day , everybody's Irish today."



-Boondock Saints (if you havent seen it , I highly recomend it)

"And I'm going to look him straight in the eye and i'm going to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, forflushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff legged, spotty lipped, wormheaded, sack of monkey shit he is......hallelujah...holy shit...where's the tylenol!!!!!"


-Clark Griswold (Chevy chase) talking about his boss in christmas vacation.

Here's two..

"To the rappers who only care about sales, jewels and prestige you're destroying a culture." - Cormega

"If you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver

if you can't find something to live for..you best find something to die for..

and i write alot of stupid little quotes..like this one.. :arrow:
...roses are red violets are blue...so is my heart ..because i can't forget you..

"There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherf--ker before you popped a cap in his ass."- Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson) Pulp Fiction.

"Its not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple ratio of weight to airspeed velocity. A 5 ounce bird simply cannot carry a one pound coconut!"

Best.Movie.Ever.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Others can be found here (http://pilgrimontheroadtonowhere.us/quotes.htm).

"Mmmmm...hug." - Homer Simpson
"An eye for an eye makes the world blind." - Gandhi
"I'm gonna take these broken wings and learn to fly." - Darren Hayes

Edit: I forgot!

"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass." - a t-shirt

wait i just thought of another one...
bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass!--key chain at spencers ;)

'Kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change' - Marquis de Sade
'Making love: Thats what my girlfriend does when I'm fucking her' - T-shirt

wow! thats a lot of nuts!

kung pow!

I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner.

- Married... With Children

One of many that I will add later

"One requiteth a teacher badly only if one remaineth merely a scholar." -- Nietzsche

"A prayer for teh wild at heart, kept in cages" tennessee williams.

i have that written on my guitar case. so much meanin'.

oh and.....

"I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret." ~ 'Sean Connery' on SNL.

:D

I love this one - don't take offence...

"America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags it's tail, it knocks over a chair"
- Arnold Toynbee

But, on the Flipside, This one makeas me laugh too...

Dr Johnson - "Sir, it is a Vile Country"
Mr S - "Well, Sir, God made it"
Dr Johnson - "Certainly he did, but we must remember that he made it for Scotsmen."
- Dr Samuel Johnson, from A journey to the Western Isles of Scotland

I like any quote from despair.com by my favourites are:

IDIOCY: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

and

GET TO WORK:You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

INCOMPETENCE:When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

I find it fun quoting these to my employees all day http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/happy/1264.gif

despair.com is great!

I especially like the penguin one: until you spread your wings you'll never have any idea how far you can walk.


Algren: "You want me to kill Jappos, I'll kill Jappos."
Colonel Bagley: "I'm not asking you to kill anybody."
Algren: "You want me to kill THE ENEMIES of Jappos, I'll kill THE ENEMIES of Jappos... Rebs, The Souix, The Cheyenne... For $500 a month I'll kill whoever you want. But keep one thing in mind, I'd gladly kill you for free."

Algren: "Did you hear my order?"
Zebulon Gant: "Aye, I did."
Algren: "Then you will obey it."
Zebulon Gant: "No offense Captain, but shove it up your arse."

Katsumoto: "A perfect blossom. You could spend your whole life searching for one, and it would not be a wasted life."

Algren: "My thanks, on behalf of those who died in the name of better mechanical amusements and commercial opportunities."


-all from The Last Samurai, one of my new favorite movies.

"He told me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!"
- Kittie (Donnie Darko)

My quote in my signature is from The Ring but I changed the "long armed wife" part. I the movie its was "fat wife".

"Great. That's all this country needs. A cock in a frock on a rock."
Priscilla, Queen of the desert.


"Evil is a point of view. God kills indescriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves."
Interview with the vampire. (the movie)

a couple
'why dig up the past? you are only going to get dirty!' thats from Minority report.
'never eat more then you can lift.' miss piggy
'dance till you sweat, live till you die, walk with your head up high, you are a star, and you will never fall for you are one of my chosen!' Brian Mcartney (my music teacher said it, its a spoof on a bible verse, it was our pep talk before we went on stage to preform RENT.)
and speaking of Rent.
"Will I lose my dignity, will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow, from this nightmare!"
525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year? in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter in strife, how do you measure a year in your life? how about love."
yeah I love RENT and Mr. J Larson was a talented man. God rest his soul.

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
"I had no shoes and complained until I met a man with now feet."
"To speak kindly does not hurt the tongue."
"It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not."
"To each their own."
"Music's what I need to keep my sanity." -311
"Not all those who wander are lost." -J.R.R. Tolkien

The more meaningful ones out of the way...
"Kids in the backseat cause accidents, accidents in the backseat cause kids. Stick to a two-seater."
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."
"Politics: Derived from Poly, meaning many, and ticks, meaning tiny, blood-sucking parasites."
"I've gone to find myself! If I get back before I return, keep me here, ok?"
"I live in my own little world...but it's ok, they know me here."
"I have PMS and a gun. I'm sorry, did you have something to say?"
"Of course I don't look busy--I did it right the first time!"

there's to many...

maybe the one i enjoy the most at the moment is my sig haha and i made it up myself

"what do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
-Gandalf in The Hobbit written by J.R.R Tolkien

"never the night has defeated the sunrise and never a problem has defeated the hope"


i can't remember who said that but i love it!!!

"Freeeeeeeeeeeeedom" -Braveheart

i don't know if this has been said yet, but,

"So I be written in the Book of Love
I do not care about that Book above.
Erase my name or write it as you will,
So I be written in the book of Love."

-i heard it this from Clarence Darrow, but it's from Omar Khayyam.

"This FCC thing makes me feel like I've been screwed by a Jackson and I didn't get a chance to ride the ferris wheel"
- Bob Kevoian

i have three favorite quotes, just see my signature.

I have a ton of memorable quotes. The only ones I remember right now are:

"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate"--my Healthful Living prof.

"Only the dead have seen the end of war."--Plato (comes up in the beginning of Black Hawk Down)

"No one can ever know for sure what a deserted area looks like."--George Carlin (a man of wisdom)

and arguably my favorite:

"If God had meant for us to run around in the nude - then we would have been born that way."

Hmm. I really like the one in my sig. Two other good ones:

"Assumptions based on understanding contain belief in an absolute ground out of which all things spring like plants growing from seed."

"Truth suffers from too much analysis."

"Don´t be so sweet that they´ll eat you neither so bitter that they´ll spite you"
"Attitudes are contagious.Is yours worth catching?"
"You´re responsible for your own happiness"
"It´s nice to be important but it´s also important to always be nice"
"I could be anyone but I prefer to be myself"

Revenge is a dish best served up cold..........

Keep honking...I'm reloading

Like all dreamers, I confuse disenchantment with truth.

Hell is paved with good intentions and roofed in lost opportunities.

If I could afford the wood, I'd board your mouth up. (Heheheh, love this insult)

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Don't count the days. Make every day count.

Some of my favorite quotes are:

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are." Kurt Cobain ( :confused: eh...well, I dunno if that's EXACTLY how the quote goes, but something like that)

"If anger's a gift then I guess I've been blessed." Chester Bennington

Favorite bumper stickers:

(I go to the University of South Carolina and our mascot is the Gamecock, and we refer to ourselves as "Cocks" for short making for some great quotes, but here are a few memorable bumper stickers and signs from games)

-from a game vs. the Southern Cal Trojans "Your Trojans can't hold our Cocks"
-from a game vs. the Ohio State Buckeyes (a buckeye is a nut) "Our Cocks will hang one over the Nuts"
-we have a player whose nickname is "Meat" "You can't lick our Cocks or beat our Meat"

All very preverted, but funny none the less. Make for good tailgating conversation.

"Shh! What if God heard you?" --my mother to my sister

"What is truth?" --Pontius Pilate

"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" --The Shawshank Redemption

"I'm afraid of being alone. But I've always been alone." --Trent Reznor

Funny quote-ness: "FABRICATI DIEM, PUNC" Terry Pratchett's City Watch Motto (Latin knowledge helpful but not strictly necessary)

Meaningful quote-ness: "Live life to the point of tears" Albert Camus (I love Camus...)

My 2 personal favourites are:

'One crowded hour of glorious life is worth and age without a name.' - Thomas Osbert Mordaunt

'I think therefore I am, I imagine therefore i can be more.' I think voltare said I think therefore i am orginally, but im not sure who the bright spark was that added to it.

If you're not cheating, you're not trying.

I try a lot, just don't tell my wife :p

There is no destiny, just right fucking now! – Billy Corgan

the funniest I've ever heard was something my friend said when we were in a shop: " Why are we laughing in an oasis of quitness?"

The most beautiful: just take a look at my sig.. It's from "Moulin Rouge"

i have about a 100 favourite quotes which helped me with englih exams

hears a good one from shapespeare caesar act 4 scene 3

There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat;
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.
-brutus

i prob post more on my thread

My favourite quote is from the movie 'The Shining'

when his head goes through the door and he says

'Its Johnny' that cracks me up!! :p

hmmm my favorite movie quote would be.... "knock knock....who's there? tiny fucked a stump" from house of 1000 corpses, and even though it isn't in the movie, it's in the special features on the dvd so technically it would still be in the movie.

We were doing Romeo + Juliet in school and most of Tybalt's quotes were pretty popular when we were learning them (he so gets all the best lines!)

(Don't kill me if I misquote :D )

"What, drawn, and talk of peace? I hate the word
as I hate hell, all Montagues and thee.
Have at thee coward!"

"Turn and look upon thy death"

"Fetch me my rapier, boy"

"sometimes i park in handicapped places
while handicapped people make handicapped faces"

one of my favorites is from the movie pirates of the caribbean where jack and elizabeth are on that island and elizabeth makes that huge fire by burning the rum and Jack says "but why is the rum gone?" that one makes me laugh every time

what's sad is i still haven't watched my pirates of the caribbean DVD (and i've had it since it came out pretty much - first or second week of December)

"Man, get yo hands off my balls!" - 8 Mile

The first words the group says (forgot) as the title of the group appears on the screen - "Bullet Proof Scratch Hamsters" (the fuck??) - Scratch

"Turn that music off! This man's aunt's about to be maggot food!" - The Fighting Temptations

"You're my man Blue!" - Old School

"My dignity is on the line!" - El-P, Revenge of the Robots Tour (Def Jux) - while El-P has a giant rubber nose on as a night vision camera films it all

all i can think of right now :D

"we made the mistake of don't love each other enough, of keep putting between us more and moer people, knowing that this was of two, and then... the love died"

of my own creation

"it got too hard"
"its supposed to be hard, the hard is what makes is great. if it wasnt hard everyone would do it" ~a league of their own


"a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men"
"candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker"
~willy wonka and the chocolate factory


"say what you think and do what you want, bc the ppl that matter dont mind and the ppl that mind dont matter."-anon

"respect to all who struggle to be creative, you make the world a better place," - Joe Hahn from Linkin Park

I posted some of my favorite movie quotes elsewhere on the board. These are some quotes from books. Some are more serious, some less.


"Sometimes you can't do anything about something that sucks."
_____Joel Rosenberg - Slovotsky's Law #9 from the Guardians of the Flame novels

A very useful quote. Every once in a while someone will recognize it and say "OMG Walter Slovotsky!"


"I met Lise at one of Rubin's parties. Rubin had a lot of parties. He never seemed particularly to enjoy them, himself, but they were excellent parties. I lost track, that fall, of the number of times I woke on a slab of foam to the roar of Rubin's antique espresso machine, a tarnished behemoth topped with a big chrome eagle, the sound outrageous off the corrugated steel walls of the place, but massively comforting, too: There was coffee. Life would go on."
_____William Gibson from the short story Winter Market

William Gibson is one of my favorite authors, but I'm not really sure why this quote above all his others, sticks in my mind.


"You are mortal: it is the mortal way.
You attend the funeral, you bid the dead farewell.
You grieve.
Then you continue with your life.
And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep.
But this will happen less and less as time goes on.
She is dead.
You are alive.
So live."
_____Neal Gaiman from his re-telling of the Orpheus legend

The Sandman books are literally filled with great quotes. This is one that always comes back to me when I need it.

"Tell that cunt to shut her mouth before I Fuckstart her head!!" -Ryan Phillppe (sp) The Way of The Gun-

"You boys can just fuck right off..." - An old lady in Orgazmo

It's just so useful in everyday life... :D

"You boys can just fuck right off..." - An old lady in Orgazmo

It's just so useful in everyday life... :D

Haha, Orgazmo rules!


"You know , I dont wanna sound like a queer or nothin, but I thinkn Depesche Mode is a sweet band!" -Dave, the dude in my sig..

Haha, Orgazmo rules!


"You know , I dont wanna sound like a queer or nothin, but I thinkn Depesche Mode is a sweet band!" -Dave, the dude in my sig..

LMAO. Nothing frightens me more than T-Rex though... :eek:

"Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight..." Gotta love Dave :cool:

O.k...I posted this in the wrong thread before....and it's the best ever....so I had to post it here!


"My god...I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!" - Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) Fight Club

lmao *dies laughing*

"Look, if you're gonna jump, jump. Otherwise, use the bridge like everyone else. You're screwing up traffic down there."~George Kuffs from Kuffs

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention as a child?"~Full Metal Jacket

"I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!"~Full Metal Jacket

"You ! My room 10:30 . You-10:45 ... and bring a friend !"~Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

"You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to look out for, cause you never know when they're going to do something incredibly stupid."~Pirates of the Caribean

"Deep in earth my love is lying