Okay, I don't know what to do. One of my friends (I'll call her Jen) has admitted to doing pot. Lots of people know about it now, because this one really conservative girl at our school found out and she told everyone. To make a VERY long story short, she used to be our friend, and that's when Jen told her she's tried pot before. So anyway, the girl's parents called Jen trash and not worth "praying for." This girl also told her parents about Jen being an athiest, which is why she isn't "worth praying for." I took this very offensively because I too am an athiest. But that's beside the point. The point is, is that now a lot of my other friends are asking me if Jen really did pot, and when I answer yes, they start telling me to tell someone. They say if I don't it's like watching my friend drown or something, because it's bad for her. But since she told me, she hasn't done it. Not even that recently. And also, it's not like she's encouraging others to do pot. But still, it's bad for her, and she has used it before, more than once, so I'm sure she will again. It's so addicting. But since she hasn't used it recently I don't know if I should be concerned enough to tell someone and risk losing my friendship with her. I think she'll be mad if I tell anyone. And if my parents find out, she might be considered a "bad influence" although we've made some jokes about the rumors going around that Jen was going to bring drugs to our end of the year trip to Mackinac in front of my mom, and my mom laughed too, so I don't know if that's a sign that she would trust me to decide if she's a good friend or not, which I am sure she is. I've been really good friends with her for so long, I don't want to loose her, but I don't want her to hurt herself. Do you think I should tell someone about her doing pot?

Im wondering- why is everyone just putting the pressure on -you- to tell? Does she have no other friends? Apparently not. Or at least- no other friends that care.

You can watch her poison herself, fully aware of what she's doing- or you can risk a friendship and keep her alive and healthy.

Okay, I don't know what to do. One of my friends (I'll call her Jen) has admitted to doing pot. Lots of people know about it now, because this one really conservative girl at our school found out and she told everyone. To make a VERY long story short, she used to be our friend, and that's when Jen told her she's tried pot before. So anyway, the girl's parents called Jen trash and not worth "praying for." This girl also told her parents about Jen being an athiest, which is why she isn't "worth praying for." I took this very offensively because I too am an athiest. But that's beside the point. The point is, is that now a lot of my other friends are asking me if Jen really did pot, and when I answer yes, they start telling me to tell someone. They say if I don't it's like watching my friend drown or something, because it's bad for her. But since she told me, she hasn't done it. Not even that recently. And also, it's not like she's encouraging others to do pot. But still, it's bad for her, and she has used it before, more than once, so I'm sure she will again. It's so addicting. But since she hasn't used it recently I don't know if I should be concerned enough to tell someone and risk losing my friendship with her. I think she'll be mad if I tell anyone. And if my parents find out, she might be considered a "bad influence" although we've made some jokes about the rumors going around that Jen was going to bring drugs to our end of the year trip to Mackinac in front of my mom, and my mom laughed too, so I don't know if that's a sign that she would trust me to decide if she's a good friend or not, which I am sure she is. I've been really good friends with her for so long, I don't want to loose her, but I don't want her to hurt herself. Do you think I should tell someone about her doing pot?

I don't think that you should tell someone, as long as she's alright, and she's not doing it anymore. Pot is not addictive. Any addiction to it is psychological, not chemical. You can't be sure she's going to do it again. As long as she's ok, I say that telling someone of authority would probably not be the way to go at this point in time.
PS: That girl's parents sound really out of line. I hate it when parents talk shit like that about my friends, or my friends parents do it about me, makes me want to kick them, lol.
good luck,
rory

Wow, you're in a REALLY tough spot.... But, I really think you should tell somebody, because this is threatening her life. She will probably be mad at you for at least a while, but if you get her help, then hopefully she will thank you for it later. And even if she hasn't done pot in a while, you said that she will probably do it again, then I still think you should tell someone. Because, like you said it is so addicting. I really hope everything works out!! Good luck with everything hun!! *hugs*

This is kind of a tough question. Tough because what I would do is not necessarily what you should do so I'm being a hypocrit while I write this. I've discovered that drugs can be a rather touchy subject, especially with those who are.. well.. touchy.

If I was in your situation (and I was you, not me) I would ask "Jen" if she is still doing drugs. If she gets aggravated, just voice your concerns. You're worried about her right?

If she says she isn't (and you believe her) just let it go. If she is honestly not smoking weed anymore, then you have nothing to be worried about.

If she says that she is still smoking weed, the only thing you can really do is suggest she stops.

This is where my opinions cross.

If it were me with the friend who smokes weed, I would just leave them to it. It's their lives they're smoking away and I don't really have time for people like that. Since I'm 18 and my friends are probably older than yours (you're 14, yeah? How old is "Jen"?).

OK, here's what it comes down to. You need to decide (if she's still smoking weed, that is) whether or not you care if she gets pissed off at you. If you don't care, then tell someone. Marijuana is dangerous no matter how "tame" some people say it is. Any drug is dangerous.

If you're willing to lose a friend but still keep her alive (this may be becoming a bit dramatic..) and NOT on drugs, then tell someone. It's a personal choice.


This here (http://www.mentalhealth.com/book/p45-mari.html) is a site that gives details above smoking weed and such.

I'm not sure if this has helped you at all. I'm more passive when it comes to people and drugs (I generally look at them disappointedly and shake my head).

Ask your friend if she's still doing drugs. That will help with which path you should take.

Well if she's not doing it anymore (as you say) then I don't really feel that you need to tell anyone.

I personally don't understand the comment about she's not worth praying for. That makes no sense to me. Maybe I see it differently because I'm a Christian, but I think prayer is good for everyone.

I don't know, this decision is up to you. You know your friend and if you think she's headed in the wrong direction, then you need to talk to someone. In other words, if you think this may lead to bigger, more powerful drugs. However, like I said, you are her friend and know her better than us. If it was only a one time thing or something she's grown out of, let it drop.

I also don't understand how if "everyone knows" why is all the pressure on YOU to tell someone?

I don't think that you should tell someone, as long as she's alright, and she's not doing it anymore.

I agree. So, she tried it once and obviously is not some stoner pot-head, so what's the deal? the only reason to tell someone's parents about something is if you think they are in danger or something. She is not. telling them "Oh, she did this once" sounds more like tattling. it was in the past, let it go.


Pot is not addictive. Any addiction to it is psychological, not chemical.

without turning this into a debate, doesn't that still have yet to be proven. Either way, I agree with you. It sounds like it was a 1-time thing.

PS: That girl's parents sound really out of line. I hate it when parents talk shit like that about my friends, or my friends parents do it about me, makes me want to kick them, lol.

seriously. my jaw dropped when i read that. parents should teach children respect for others beliefs (or lack there of), and not judge them.

For now, your friend seems OK. Anyone pressuring you to tell her parents, tell them if they care about her so much, they can tell her parents for you. Tell them that you don't think her parents need to know, and mention that we have all done things in our life we would rather our parents not know about, so why is everyone making a big deal about this ONE thing?

Furthermore, while I cannot condone the use of pot, unless this turns into a problem for your friend, this is not anyone's business. Unless she starts missing school, failing classes, and making a habit out of smoking, everyone should lay off. it is honestly not that big of a deal.

Woosh this is a hard one.

Once again ask her if she is doing any drugs.
If she is, ask her to stop. My one friend used to take a hit every now and then but we asked her to stop and she has.

If she says she isn't and you believe her just don't say anything.

I know people who have tried stuff once or twice.
No one likes visits to the counselers (sp?).

But then again I know people who said they stopped doing weed and now they're shooting up heroin.

It's really your decision.
But keep in mind what you say or don't say could really affect her life.

without turning this into a debate, doesn't that still have yet to be proven. Either way, I agree with you. It sounds like it was a 1-time thing.

she's talking about what i and many others have discussed with her from experience. As many of you may know i smoked for a very long time. recently i've chosen to stop for my own personal reasons.

Now this is an opinion here so you don't have to listen to it. i don't think it's anyone's business if she choses to smoke or not. Unless she has some sort of lung problem or a very addictive personality she would be fine either way. i say if you feel like you need to you cna talk to her but talking to the parents won't help. i know when my parents told me to stop it drove me to smoke more, gave my the rush of knowing i could get caught. that kind of thing. if you talk to anyone talk to her since it's her life and no one elses.

sandra

I think you shouldn´t tell it.the past is the past (pot isn´t addictive for only one time).if she is important for you,don´t do it.

I think that you should talk to her, make sure she's ok etc. I don't think you need to tell anyone unless it gets out of control. Pot itself is not that bad, however it has often been thought of as a gate-way drug to harder stuff. That is what you want to watch out for.

Pot is only psychologically addictive unless it is cut with tobacco/nicottine. However, smoking isn't necessarily a good thing to start, especially at that age. On the other hand, it is her choice, and the majority of people experiement at her age.

I personally don't understand the comment about she's not worth praying for. That makes no sense to me. Maybe I see it differently because I'm a Christian, but I think prayer is good for everyone.

I wish I understood that one too. They're honestly not as saintly as they seem, her parents. If I was Christian, I would certainly agree with you. I mean, what is she, dead already?


I also don't understand how if "everyone knows" why is all the pressure on YOU to tell someone?

I think it's because I'm such close friends with her. Maybe they're not sure themselves. I don't know. But I wish it wasn't me. It's so frustrating! There's another girl I know who's pretty much in the same situation as me. Another one of "Jen's" good friends, who happens to be one of my very best friends. I'm going to show her these posts, and hopefully we'll put something together. I think I really just need to get us all together and ask Jen seriously if she's ok. The last thing I need is for something to happen to her, and have known I could have done something about it all.

I think that you should tell someone. I was in that position a couple of years ago and she got mad when I told but. She thanks me now. Espcially when she saw how harming it really was. So, even if she is mad at firstshe will thank you.

Ok, since WHEN does not having a religion, or inhaling the smoke of a burning plant make someone "trash?"
Anyway, I really don't think this is worth telling someone about. It's not like she's spending her nights in the local crackhouse selling her body for rocks. Although I don't recommend the use of mind altering substances to people under 18, it's just weed. People make too big a deal about it, in my opinion.

And really, you need to tell other people to mind their own business. If someone asks you if she did or didn't blahblahblah, don't freakin answer them! How nosy! And by answering these people, you are just adding fuel to their fire and they are not even worth wasting your voice on an answer.
I feel sorry for these people who have nothing better to do than get in the business of someone they don't even like.

Okay, first of all, Marijuana is NOT ADDICTIVE.

"FACT: Most people who smoke marijuana smoke it only occasionally. A small minority of Americans - less than 1 percent - smoke marijuana on a daily basis. An even smaller minority develop a dependence on marijuana. Some people who smoke marijuana heavily and frequently stop without difficulty. Others seek help from drug treatment professionals. Marijuana does not cause physical dependence. If people experience withdrawal symptoms at all, they are remarkably mild."

Source (which is facts and myths about Marijuana): http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths/

First of all, lots and lots of kids try pot (Over half the student body at my school has tried it at least once). It really isn't all that bad at all (though I'm not saying go out and get high); it won't kill you (unless maybe angeldust or something else is mixed in with it). The only people killed while on pot also were under the effects of another drug.
(I did a 18 page paper on all this for english, so I have researched it alot.)

As for telling people, I don't think you should. In all honesty it will probably make her resent you alot and then you could lose your friendship with her. I'd say to just express your concerns about her using drugs and that you think that she should stop. You can't make this descision for her and its not as though she is really harming herself that much because despite popular belief, marijuana is alot less harmful than cigarettes (it has never caused lung cancer alone- I mean THC is used in treating cancer. Interestingly enough, marijuana was made illegal along time ago by a church, which soon became a state law. Most people believe that the real reason it became illegal was because back then the rather racist elite of the U.S. didn't want the Mexican's having a monopoly on something alot of people would buy. Notice that Phillip J. Moris, the tobacco company, created by white men, is legal, despite the millions it kills....just something to note ;)).

So, I personally would not tell her and despite how I defend the fact that Marijuana is relatively harmless, I am not telling you to go smoke it- esp. because there are very harsh laws for it. :) I hope everything goes alright for you!

lyke...omgggg, she *Tried* pot! ommgg! it's such a BIG deal! Not. Dude, I saw people roll a blunt in front of me and then smoke it, in a DORM where people can fucking SMELL it. (I didn't smoke it though..I can't fathom inhaling smoke in to my lungs) That's scary. This? No..she just tried it. If she keeps doing it then that COULD be a problem, only because people do *anything* to get pot. Steal, sell stuff they own. But really theres no harm done unless she starts on other drugs.

Considering the fact that she just tried it, i don't think you need to run and tell someone. Keep your eye on her and maybe talk to her about it and she what she has to say. After finding out about her opinion on this and exactly how often she smokes it, you can decided whether or not to tell someone.

Well, I'm a little late, but I'll offer my advice anyway, although many other people have said something similar.

I would let it go. Many people try pot once and never do it again. Most likely, your friend tried it, said 'ICK', and is not going to do it again. Notice that the rumor going around is that she TRIED pot, not that she LIKED it.

I would talk to her. Ask her about trying the pot, what situation she was in, and what she thought of it. Don't accuse her; that'll make her defensive, and with all the people giving both of you a hard time, shutting you out is the last thing she needs.

I would, however, keep an eye on her. Especially if she says that it's 'all right' or something...marijuana may not be addictive, but it's far from healthy, and it could lead her to get involved in other drugs that are (I'm talking worst-case scenario here, btw).

As for the uberCatholic family...I know the feeling. People like that are so judgmental..obviously ignoring the sayings "Love one another as I have loved you" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." People who pick and choose who their 'neighbor' is and close their minds to anything different are just as bad as criminals, in my opinion. It's a form of discrimination, but they're just too high-minded to see that. Ah well. Ignore them. They aren't worth your time.

Good luck to you.