I have two close friends. One of them, Cory, can't stand the other, Brian. Brian has no idea about it. Cory is holding a grudge against Brian because Brian had accidentally poured water on his rollerblades. Cory also is angry at him because Brian had gotten him in trouble about a year ago. I am stuck in the middle. Both have been good friends to me. I haven't seen Brian because of this. (They live in the same neighborhood) Since Cory got in trouble, his parents know and they won't let it go either. I have an Aunt who lives by them and she knows both of them. She constantly tells me that I should hang around Brian and that he never did anything to me. Well, since both of them live in the same neighborhood, Cory would find out from someone else or he would see us hanging out. (Brian lives right behind Cory) Cory would probably not want to be friends with me anymore if I still hung out with Brian. I hate not talking to Brian but I also hate losing Cory as a friend becuase I have known him longer than Brian. (Since I was about 3 or 4) I met Brian because him and Cory used to be good friends. But it was because of those two situations he is holding a grudge against him and I can't do anything about it.

So...What should I say to my aunt to get her off my case?
And is there anything I could say to Cory that would make him want to patch things up or should I just wait it out.
Please help!

I wouldn't suggest trying to help them patch it up, they have to do that themselves (and if the one doesn't know about it, then he's unaware there is anything to patch up anyways). However, you shouldn't feel that it's a problem to hang out with both friends separately; if Cory cannot get past his anger enough to realize that you are allowed to have friends that he doesn't like, then he's not being a very good friend. I'd bet he'd grumble a little but that would be about it. I bet Brian's wondering what's going on if he hasn't heard from you lately either.

I had the pleasure if having several friends who all hated one another when I was in my teens, and none of them held against me that I was hanging out with the others (unless it directly interfered with hanging out with them, but that's a bit different). Anyone who places a demand on you as to whom you can have as friends isn't necessarily being a good friend back and you'd have to take a second look at it all (there are times, but this wouldn't rate as one of them I think).

Wow, I have a situation which is very identical to this. Unfortunately, it was my fault.

My friends Stephanie and Christina were best friends in Grade 9 until one day. Christina called Stephanie a bitch for not letting her use her notes in class. She said this to me on the bus ride home and I told Stephanie and this is how the fight began. They have never talked since than (Now it's Grade 12) and at the end of last December, Stephanie sent Christina a present for Christmas (Secret Santa) and apologised. Christina said she accepted it but none of them felt like talking to one another. Now, they are alright with each other but they don't talk to one another.

This is where your story comes in. During their fights, I was stuck in the middle hearing shit about each of them from the other one and I told them to stop it. Nothing happened. I know how it's like to feel stuck in the middle but I believe you need to set things straight between Cory and Brian.

First, ask your Aunt to kindly leave you alone about this because this is your decision and not hers. Simply say "I understand, okay, thank you". And than leave it at that. If she continues to push, simply just nod and repeat what I said above. Now, I know this will only work for a little while until you get fed up but during that time, work on Brian's and Cory's friendship.

Before I say anything else, I need some information if you don't mind. Now, did Brian apologise to Cory for ruining his roller blades? And what exactly did Brian do to get Cory in trouble? And did he apologise for it after?

...Cory is being childish. Very.

Most rollerblades are made out of plastic, the water just basically slides off and dries. Unless these rollerblades were $100 and made out of leather and Brian had in fact poured the water on purpose, Cory has no reason to be angry. Again, Cory is being very childish.

Perhaps you should talk to Cory and remind him that he did something much worse to Brian ( I don't know what he got Brian into trouble for...but getting someone in trouble is a little bit more serious) and if he got him in trouble accidentally, then remind him the water and rollerblades incident was accidental as well. Accidents happen all the time and aren't meant to purposely harm anyone or anything, and if he cannot realize that...then maybe you should reconsider even bothering with him.

You should talk to the both of them individually and then see if they will agree to both sit down with you and talk. Individually, tell them what they are both putting you through and ask politely if all three of you could sit and talk maturely without immediately attacking each other. If one, or both decline then perhaps you should consider which is the better friend of the two.

The most important part however, is that both realize what they are doing to each other and what they are putting you through. No one should choose between friends over childish reasons. Tell them they're no longer six or seven, they're already teenagers and should at least be a tad bit mature to just have a conversation regarding friendships.

Thats just a ridiculous. Having one friendship hinge on another friendship-- let alone, a grudge because water was accidentally poured on roller blades. Wow. Just wow.

Cory would probably not want to be friends with me anymore if I still hung out with Brian.
Theres no way i can sugar coat this, so-- If Cory is going to let his and your friendship hinge between you being friends with Brian-- hes not being a very good friend.

Drama sucks. Dont get involved. Or at least- find mature friends.

At any rate- if they were the least bit considerate of YOU- they wouldnt you put you in this position.

You should talk to the both of them individually and then see if they will agree to both sit down with you and talk. Individually, tell them what they are both putting you through and ask politely if all three of you could sit and talk maturely without immediately attacking each other. If one, or both decline then perhaps you should consider which is the better friend of the two.
I dont wanna bash on your advice- but this would be perfect advice if they were 22 or something- and not around the Jr. High/Freshmen High age.

Get out of stupid drama like this as soon as you can. Be blunt with them-- if they're going to let their own friendships with you hinge on your friendship with another-- its time to be blunt with them.

Before I say anything else, I need some information if you don't mind. Now, did Brian apologise to Cory for ruining his roller blades? And what exactly did Brian do to get Cory in trouble? And did he apologise for it after?

I wasn't there when this happened. But this is what Cory has told me, him and Brian had just got done playing a game of street hockey. They were sitting on the porch of Brian's house talking. Brian had said something and Cory had elbowed him. Not to hurt him badly or anything kinda like a playful shove if you know what I mean? Brian had said that Cory had elbowed him in the face and told his parents about which got Cory grounded. And he was forbidden to hang around Brian from that moment on because of his very overprotective mother. So he has gone along with it. As far as I know, there was no apologies.

Thanks for the advice by the way.

Just to add on--

Since you werent there when it happened- their little problem is, indeed, THEIR little problem. Its a bad situation to be in the middle of two feuding friends, but it really is THEIR problem- and to hold their friendships with you on the balance of that isnt a wise or considerate move for anyone.

I think it's very unfair of Cory to not expect you to hang out with Brian just because he has a problem with him. I know friends can be like that sometimes, and it's just wrong.

I say hang out with Brian and if Cory gets mad, then he wasn't as good of a friend as you thought he was to get mad over something so stupid.

You tell those two lil f8Ckers to shake hands and be pals and stop being Sallys right now.
okthxbye.

I wasn't there when this happened. But this is what Cory has told me, him and Brian had just got done playing a game of street hockey. They were sitting on the porch of Brian's house talking. Brian had said something and Cory had elbowed him. Not to hurt him badly or anything kinda like a playful shove if you know what I mean? Brian had said that Cory had elbowed him in the face and told his parents about which got Cory grounded. And he was forbidden to hang around Brian from that moment on because of his very overprotective mother. So he has gone along with it. As far as I know, there was no apologies.

Thanks for the advice by the way.

Let me get this straight, they're about 15 years old and they're telling on each other?

First off, tell Brian that telling on Cory was extremely childish (Especially for his age) and that he should apologise to Cory for his actions. Cory seemed to be playing with him and just because he got hurt, doesn't mean Cory was trying to harm Brian in any way possible. Tell Brian that just because of one little (And I mean very little) fight, they shouldn't throw their friendship away.

As for Cory, water on rollerblades won't ruin them unless they are made of anything other than plastic. Tell Cory he could just dry his rollerblades and they would be as good as new.

Tell them both to talk to one another and figure out for themselves because you don't like being in the middle. Say that they aren't being good friends by forcing you to choose who you want to be friends with and if they continue to force you, you won't be friends with either of them. By this time, they should be scared that you're going to leave them so they'll have no other choice but to make up.