I've been thinking a lot lately and need to get this all out...

Alright... I've known this girl for about 2 and a half years. She's been one of my closest friends. We hang out pretty much every day and we can talk about anything to each other. Yesterday we went to the boardwalk (live in south jersey). We were walking up and down the boardwalk for a while checking out all the arcades and then, out of nowhere, she says she wants to jump into the ocean. Now, we weren't planning on going in, but we decided to jump in anyway, clothes and all. We both had an awesome time. Heh, it's not every day you decide to randomly jump into the ocean. Later that night I decided to make my move by inviting her over cause she wanted to see some dvds. I figure we've been friends for so long and I was right there when she went in and out of two relationships with two very different kinds of people, I don't know how else to put it, observing?... and she seen me go in and out of two, too... that I think we could have a great relationship together.

Now here's where I get confused... She broke up with her last boyfriend over a month ago, but she still holds him in very high consideration. Like, she won't even hang out with me alone just to hang out. But I talk to her ex (we're friends) and he has been very frustrated with her cause she still wants to be together with him and he doesn't... and he doesn't care what she does or where she goes... they're not together anymore (he's also been thinking about getting back together with his last ex)... Now, she even tells me she gets frustrated with him when he ignores/annoys her, which includes when they were together to now... but she is still fallen for him after a month being apart...

I somehow got the gall to talk to her straight foward about a relationship when she feels better about everything... after I apologized for making a move when I can see bright as day that she still has strong feelings for her ex... She basicly said she is really confused right now and is going to change cause she feels like she hasn't been herself.

Now, I don't want to miss my chance to be with her... I care about her very much. Hell, that's even an understatement... I love her. I only started having strong feelings for her about six months ago... I guess over time I developed these feelings for her. I honestly don't know 100% that she would want to be more than friends with me... I just don't know what to do... I'm lost here...

Thanks for reading all this and thanks if you reply...

If she's confused about her feelings, then you should give her time and space so that she can decide her future. Have you discussed your feelings for her before, and if so, what was her reaction?

When she knows what she wants to do, I'm sure she'll tell you since you both tell each other a lot of things. Just give her time to think and she'll tell you whatever she needs to tell you.

Remember- never ruin a perfectly good friendship by something that was never ment to be.

If there's a true bond there, as you say there is, you can wait for her. Be there to comfort her and help her through this. Sometimes, even with someone you love, it's more appropriate to be the friend than the lover.

Hmmm... a double edged sword..... on one hand, you could gain the love of your life, on the other... possibly lose a friendship. The question is, which is worth more to you?

I have seen where good friends have decided to take their relationship to the next level, and it works very very well.... after all, you already know this person quite well, they know you, you have possibly seen each other at the worst, etc., etc. On the otherhand... you know how this person is in a relationship, whether it is to your favor or not.....

I would say, give her some time to think about it, then take things slow... if it is meant to be, it will be...

Good Luck!!!!

Mate ive been in the same problem before. I asked one of my friends if she would go out with me, she turned me down and said i was way too good for her. It hurt me bad but i moved on in the end..

I suggest you give her space for the time being. Then find out her true feelings for you. If she as feelings for you then make the move. But if she wants to stay friends you need to respect her decision..

The problem is that you will have these feelings for her for a long time now if you mean what you say. And it will put strains on the friendship cus ull want more..

I hope that sorta helps

-Alan

Thanks for the replies. I was thinking about this all night and I knew I should wait for her. I talked to her about this an we decided to just stay good friends right now cause that's what she needs.

Thanks for the replies. I was thinking about this all night and I knew I should wait for her. I talked to her about this an we decided to just stay good friends right now cause that's what she needs.

I think that is a great idea i mean if she just wants to stay good friends for the time being to sort out her feelings then let it be. But just let her know you are there for her and if she has problems sortign it all out help her. She needs to know first and formost that you are her friend and that you will always be there for her and that you treasure your friendship with her. If things develope further than just go along with the flow. She needs to sort things out about her feelings, then if she decides that she wants to be with you make sure that she is positive about the decision.

Anyway best of luck with everything :)