Normally, I try never to be jealous of another. In fact, Id say I have it pretty good myself- if anything, there are others who should be jealous of me. Just thought I'd clear that up just in case anyone wonders if I have a grudge/jealousy streak with people.

My problem? I think im jealous and bitter.

Background
Anyway, I moved to where I live now in my 7th grade year, bout 3 years ago, maybe some more. I met a friend, a girl, and we became very close friends. We'd have fun alot- she was exactly the kinda girl friend that I like- not a high-maintenance, idealist, bubbly, sunshine 'n kittens kind of girl. She would playfully fight with me, we'd talk a lot, basically- she and one other were really my best friends- and one of my very very first when I moved to where I am here. Just to clear it up- Ill call her Jessie, first name that came to mind. Anyway, yeah, we were very close from 8th to the end of 9th grade. She even had a crush on me- but she was mormon- and something or other blahblah and we never ended up hooking up- just being great friends.

What Caused This
Well, not SO recently- but during my 9th grade year, this girl suddenly became very smitten-kitten for another guy. That wasnt what I was jealous about. I thought he was a cool guy, too, and as a boot for her- he's also mormon. Anyway, so...she did the whole 'shy-girl wants to meet cute-guy' thing. Whats that, you ask? Thats where she secretely stalks him, passes notes, constantly asks friends "what did he say about me?" or "did he look at me?" etc. etc. Eventually, it dwindled the point where the only way I'd stay in contact with Jesse is to follow her when she'd go to see this guy, who she barely knew, anyway.

What Did It Come To?
So as my 10th grade year starts, which by the way- the relationship between Jessie and I disappeared as she split off to trail this guy and I got tired of it-- she has completely cut me off and ignored me and any other friends she had besides this guy and any other people who can somehow assist her in becoming friends and b/f-g/f with this guy. Now, I didnt think of it much. I was a little angry that, for a guy she became infatuated with, she intentionally cut me and another one of her best friends off completely.

An Unexpected Twist
So 10th grade year continues... and I meet up with her. I dont act all bitter or anything- I force a 'friend' out of myself. Well, shes with another guy- but, weird- its not the guy she was obsessed with just 3 months ago. Its someone I've never seen before, ever. Somewhat surprising, and yet not surprising, at the same time. I expected more from her, and to AT LEAST stick with the guy that she threw away best friends for... but it wasnt even so.

The Situation Now
Now, this new infatuation, or whatever-- this new guy of hers-- he is in one of my classes at school. I have the extremely strong urge to warn him about her. I dont know anything about their relationship together- but something makes me wanna break my own code of morality, gossip, and just blurt everything out to him and warn him before its too late- before he also becomes some infatuation object that she throws away other relationships for, before throwing him away for another and repeating the cycle.

And before you tell me to "try and contact her and talk about it"- ive tried. Last year, I continuously wrote notes to her (because we hardly ever saw each other during the day anyway) and she replied, apologizing, saying we'd hang out again, how I was right, blah blah. Bull. Shit. It did nothing.

To sum it up:
I make best friends with girl for about 2 years. She becomes, suddenly, obsessed with a new guy in school. She throws away our best friendship to go follow him (because I didnt feel like being a tagalong everytime she wanted to stalk him), eventually it dwindles down to nothing. I see her later, for the first time in a few months. This time- its a different guy. Now, Im pissed. How fucking dare she have a new infatuation- after throwing away awesome friendships for another, previous infatuation? I now know and see this new infatuation of hers everyday. Should I tell him about her?


My questions are:
-Should I tell this new infatuation of hers about her guy-cycling history?
-Should I throw away what history we've had as best friends, and just treat her how she treats me?
-Any other advice?

First of all, I am sorry to hear that your best friendship with her got ruined...I went through that with a guy,myself....

I think that if you want to tell the other guys about it you should...Because it may save them from being hurt in the future...It may help them see it before it's too late... I think you should...

As for treating her the way she treats you...I don't know. What would that prove? You should forget about her, I think you could do much better for a friend because obviously she is not treating you nicely at all. She doesn't seem worth the effort... I know it's not easy to forget people, but the sooner you do, the easier it will be for you to move on from it and find someone who is better worth your efforts.

There are a lot of good people in the world, unfortunately, it seems we have to go through a lot of bad ones before we seem to find the good ones... But good luck, and I'm sorry to hear about what happened.

personally if it were me, id just drop her like a fat turd. people dont need friends that just ditch people like that. if i was you i wouldnt even touch on it at all and just forget about her.. maybe some day she will come around and realize what a good friend she is missing, or she might never talk to you again. maybe she is just tired of you.. people get tired of hanging out with the same people after a while and 2 years is a pretty good stretch of time..

as for telling the new guy about her guy-cycling history. if you plan on never being friends with her again then go for it. he probably wont like her anymore after that and she definatly wont like you. so if you just wanna get some revenge then thats prolly a good way to do it.. but if you plan on having any future friendship with her then just let it go.

i think it's not good to treat her like she treated you. she would be just angry and i'm sure, you wont feel better.
telling her new boyfriend about her "guy-cycling" is not very nice. of course it was very arrogant of this girl to do so, but ppl change (or most of them) and maybe she really loves this boy.
it's hard to lose a friendship especially when it is a very close friend. but it was mean of her to ignore you for a long time just because of another person.
you will meet a lot of new ppl in your life and you will get over that.

best wishes,
nadine

i agree with SoundOfSilence. Telling the other guy about this girl might not be the best idea, because he might tell her, and then she'll probably get mad at you. And if you ever want to become friends at her at some point, then her being mad wont exactly help. And treating her like she treated you isnt exactly the mature thing, either. I would just let her go, if you can. As hard as it might be to let go of the past, you have to think of the present and how much she's changed.

However, if you hear other things about her from other people, or if she starts bouncing from guy to guy, or cheats on her most recent guy behind his back...I'd tell him. Other than that, though, it's not really much of your business anymore, because you havent really been a big part in her life recently.

~heather~

maybe she really loves this boy.
Thats what she said about the original guy that she was obsessed with. So yeah, theres always a chance of "maybe she really DOES like this guy" and "maybe she changed". But the chances are greater that she is still the same person she was before- its apparent in that she never made an effort, like I did, to rebuild our friendship a year ago.

maybe she is just tired of you.. people get tired of hanging out with the same people after a while and 2 years is a pretty good stretch of time..Huh? What's taht about? I've been best friends with the same person for about 7 years now.

Listen Nemo. Friends are friends and it's tough when you lose one because s/he ditched you. But there's no reason to get worked up about it. You have a whole life ahead of you and you'll meet some REALLY beautiful (within) people. She is really not someone you need to be wasting your time on. Two years was enough. She clearly doesn't know how to value friendships. If she has made no effort WHATSOEVER to rebuild the friendship, then as hard as this may be for you, I'd just let her go. Like...totally forget her.

As far as letting her boyfriend know what she's like...forget it. Don't stoop down to a level that you need not stoop down to. She's not your business anymore. If she wants to treat you the way she does, then let that be on her conscience but don't retaliate (treat her the way she treated you). Just suck it up, put your pride aside, be the bigger man (or person in this case) and just let it go. You'll be better off.