My father has been experiencing problems with walking, sensory and motor coordination in his right side for quite some time. He also has a noticeable foot-drop in his right foot. The exact cause of this is unknown despite him seeing several specialists, having MRI scans and other tests. Unfortunately, he's been extremely rude and angry about it to the specialists and to us, his family. He's particularly angry because he didn't get a definite answer straight-away, despite myself and my mother (who is a nurse) explaining to him that his symptoms are very non-specific and could be any number of health issues. The fact that he has a poor diet, doesn't exercise regularly and drinks himself stupid every night without exaggeration (and has done so for well over 20 years) hasn't exactly helped either.

He saw two specialists today, one of whom thought he may have MS, the other didn't think it was likely.

For those people who are unaware, multiple sclerosis has many non-specific symptoms that may or may not indicate a person has MS.Go here for more information (http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/).

The point of this is that being angry, scared and lashing out are natural symptoms that I understand and can accept. But bitching about "it's all the fucking doctor's fault I have this and they're passing me around to all their friends to laugh at me" is just being moronic IMHO. He refuses to tell me anything about his tests or results directly, even when I ask him him, but he has no problems spilling all to his friends on the phone when I'm in the same room :rolleyes: I'm 19 and I'm studying a Health Science at university for god's sake; keeping me in the dark only worries and irritates me more, especially when I have to hear it secondhand.

it is scary when we want an explanation as to what is happening to us, and we cannot get an explanation. Your father is looking for a reason for this, or a cause for his illness, and is frustrated by not having one. No doubt he is also very scared about all of it.

Try not to be so upset about his blaming the doctors. unfortunately, that is his way with dealing with it, and deep down he knows it is not them. He is probably only keeping you in the dark because he does not want you to worry, and maybe because of his pride. Don't take it so personally, it is not about you. It is not that he doesn't trust or love you, but more than likely he feels weird discussing everything with you.

just, let him rant and rave about "stupid doctors" all he wants. he is human, and he is scared and frustrated.

He refuses to tell me anything about his tests or results directly, even when I ask him him, but he has no problems spilling all to his friends on the phone when I'm in the same room :rolleyes:

Stupid, nonetheless irritating to you.

I guess this is a hard situation. There's not really "someone to blame" for this. I have understanding for your father's frustration and anger. Everyone would have. The only problem it brings along is the affect it his on his environment. However, you cannot blame him for being human. Let him do anything that helps him to express the difficulties of his illness, leaving behind the things that help him on the moment itself but hurt him later.

I don't know your father so I have no idea how you should approach him. I'd try to give him the impression you're not too worried about it.
Obviously this is what he wants, leave you out of it for reasons I don't even need to mention. He is in this by himself (in his opinion) so he wants to deal it by himself. His regard to you is definitely different than the one to his friends.
If you give him a bit freedom on the 'I'm not that worried part', he might come back by himself. Though telling him that doesn't specificly go along with saying you don't love him.
This is most likely what your father wants to hear, that he can handle this on his own. That he's strong enough.
Especially since the problem is that he can't do the "easiest things" (pardon me) properly.

What I'd suggest you to do is to make him face what he's doing to himself (due to the drinking etc.), but let HIM do what he has to do to solve his problems on his own, if not with a little help.

Livo, I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I know it must be difficult to watch your father's motor skills deteriorate. I also know it must irritate you that he talks to his friends about his condition but not to you, but you need to realize that he is only trying to protect you by excluding you. He probably feels that he has caused enough grief already in your family. And so what if you are a pre-medical student? That wouldn't keep my family from trying to shelter me. I think you should tell him that leaving you in the dark only makes you worry more.

He might just open up to you more if you approach him non-confrontationally with a desire to know more about his condition because you are uncomfortable with uncertainty. With the degree of uncertainty he's dealing with right now, he will probably sympathize with you and talk to you about it. Also, people who are sick often feel that it bothers other people to hear about their condition too much. Let him know that his problems don't gross you out and you're there to listen and to talk whenever he wants because you know this has to be really hard for him.

And if he's being irritable toward the doctors (or you by extension), ask yourself, wouldn't you be irritated if nobody could figure out what was wrong with you as you slowly lost your ability to walk/balance/move properly? I'm not attacking you at all. I know that you're a wonderfully sensitive person. But think about it. We're taught from a young age that doctors will fix us when things go wrong, or at least be able to tell us what's wrong with us. "I don't know" is NOT a comforting thing to hear out of a doctor's mouth, and discord among doctors is not particularly comforting either. Emotionality and anger are first of all side effects of MS itself, but they're also byproducts of the uncertainty of not knowing what the hell is going on.

ABOUT MS ITSELF

First of all, I'm not a medical professional yet. That's very important to remember. But as soon as you mentioned the sensorimotor coordination problems, specifically the foot-drop, MS definitely came to mind. That said, it could be a host of other things. MS is the most elusive diagnosis I can think of. The process of diagnosing someone with it goes something like this:

1. Rule out sarcoidosis, vasculitis, Lyme disease, etc.
2. Perform lumbar puncture and MRIs, which don't definitively show an MS diagnosis.
3. Get frustrated and go to another doctor, who repeats steps one and two.
4. Rinse and repeat.
5. Eventually one of the tests will hopefully come out with a result that's suggestive of MS, but sometimes it won't.

It is crazy hard to get an MS diagnosis, and they don't want to start you on MS medication until they're sure that's what you have because it's very strong stuff.

Good luck with this, and I hope it's something less complicated and easier to treat than MS. Even more than that, I hope you find out what it is before you all go nuts. Much <3.

Thanks for your advice and support guys, I needed/still need to blow off some steam about this.

SangReal; I actually think it could be a spinal or peripheral nerve lesion, further aggravated by his drinking. I spent two semesters on Functional Anatomy, which required having to diagnose a peripheral or spinal nerve lesion based on muscle weakness and skin numbness alone (no other tests), and foot-drop was a big indicator of some lesions. Still, it could be a lot of things unfortunately.

I neglected to mention that I'm more concerned/angry at how he doesn't listen to any medical advice whatsoever, then when something bad occurs, it's everyone else's fault but his. For example, he has high cholesterol and has had it for a few years now. He was put on medication about 2 years (i.e. he didn't change any of his habits) to help control it. Unfortunately, his diet and drinking habits were/are so bad, the medication didn't make much of a dent in his cholesterol levels, and he immediately blamed the medication for not magically "curing him". He's still on medication, and he still HASN'T changed any of his habits, and his cholesterol is still high. His GP, my mother and myself pointed out that lifestyle changes are necessary, but we're all idiots according to him since he knows better :mad:

I know you can only help people who want to be helped. It just bugs me that he only cares when things are not looking good for him, but he won't actually set out to make any changes in his life to accomodate them.

I know what you mean. It's like the person who smokes 4 packs of cigarettes a day and then gets mad when the doctor can't magically "cure" them of lung cancer. Or the person who is obese, has high cholesterol and high blood pressure, eats salt like a maniac and then is surprised and angry when he or she has a heart attack. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But just like I can't stop my Aunt Clare (who has emphysema) from smoking near her oxygen mask, you can't stop your dad from drinking. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. Maybe you should schedule an intervention with doctors, your family, and his friends, and see if all of them agreeing that his drinking is exacerbating the condition might help. Just a thought. Good luck with this. I don't know if you believe in this sort of thing or not, but you're on my prayer list.

Update; after a CT scan, my for yet "another" MRI scan. The second neurologist thought it could possible be a astroglial lesion. My mother is practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown over this, as she's under this and the additional stress of her father experiencing the early signs of dementia (she's from England and the only member of her family to live overseas).

As I've said before, his symptons are very non-specific so I'm awaiting for more information and a firm diagnosis. He doesn't ask the neurologists to explain things to him and he doesn't press them for details very often, which makes things even more strained for my family :(

As I've said before, his symptons are very non-specific so I'm awaiting for more information and a firm diagnosis. He doesn't ask the neurologists to explain things to him and he doesn't press them for details very often, which makes things even more strained for my family :(

that is the old way of doing things. My grandma refuses to question doctors when they recommend procedures or diagnose her. She believes they know best and she should not question. it's a new thing to talk with the doctors about your condition, ask for second opinions, and discuss and question everything. the older generation doesn't do it. My grandma still yells at my mother to "stop embarassing her" when she asks the doctors about my grandma's treatments.

Livo, I hope whatever it is, they come up with a correct diagnosis soon. Hopefully, they can being treating him then.