Hey Peoples.
I need some help with my friend Emma*. She has been diagnosed with a mild case of depression. She has had it before and it seems bad and we have to take her out of class alot coz she wont stop crying and i don't no wats wrong or wat to do. Also the skool consilers wont help coz they are gay and they yelled at her coz she was upset during class... Anyway i am scared that she is going to do something stupid and i have no idea how to comfert her and make her feel better. So plz... help me.
Elisa

First of all, referring to SCHOOL counselors as "gay" is not appropriate.

Is she your age? Perhaps it is related to hormones. An over-abundance of estrogen, which is likely in young teens, can lead to crying fit.

Who diagnosed her? If a doctor diagnosed her, then the doctor can treat her. There is not much you can do. you can try to cheer her up and get her to talk about her feelings. maybe she will feel better by talking about the things that get her down. but, depression is clinical and caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Tom Cruise aside, it is usually only medicine that can restore the brain's balance. talk with her about what options the doctor has given her for treatment, and encourage her to seek out other opinions on how to get better.

The best thing you can do for your friend, Elisa, is to be her friend. Be there for her and listen to her when she needs someone to talk to. Don't be judgemental, but still give her good advice when she needs it. True friends don't just tell true friends what they want to hear, but are open and honest with them. Be that way for her, Elisa.

From your post, it sounds like Emma* may have more than just mild depression. If the counselors aren't helpful, then going with her to her parents and talking to them about counseling and maybe antidepressant medication might be a good next step. Young people have to be especially careful about antidepressant medications, though, because they can make things worse in the short run. She would need to be under a doctor's care with close supervision. Other things that can help depression are exercise and laughter. Helping Emma* smile about something every day will help lift her mood. You also didn't mention if Emma* is using drugs that could cause depression. Depression is a common symptom of addiction, and it's hard to make the depression better unless the addiction is under control.

I hope that helps, Elisa. It feels terrrible to watch a friend go through depression, but your friendship will be stronger by being there for her during this rough part of her road.

hey

it's nice of you that you want to help her. talk to her, say that you you want to help but dont know how. i dont know your friend and what problem she has but ppl with depressions need ppl who listen to them. tell her that you are there for her and that she can talk to you. but dont put yourself under pressure. you are not responsible for your friend. you can listen to her but if you think that she really needs help, talk to her parents or to a reliable teacher.

best wishes to you an your friend,
nadine

You say she cries a lot, which makes it obvious she's going through a quite emotional time right now. It may be hard for her, but, as in every case, there are ups and downs. This is a down. There are better times, even in depression.

Basically, your question is: what to do against depression?

-Give it time. If her depression is sincere, it lasts a while. Not too long but still. It won't be over just like that.

-Show her you're there. You're scared she might harm herself, well..make a sort of deal with her. If she does, she has to tell you.
Of course, preventing it is way better. I think you should make her understand the consequences of her acts don't disappear just like that, and when she's over this time or mostly, she might be remembered of the bad times..and that's not what she wants either.

-Avoid the people that bring her trouble, don't expect any help from them. Even if it's their job.

-Make her see a psychotherapist. You can't handle her on your own. Take care of it before it's too late. He or she will see if it's necessary for her to take medication, which is better not to take, actually. The pills given in these cases are quite heavy.

-The usual stuff. Try to spend time with her, do what she wants/wanted to do. I say 'wanted' 'cause in depression, you lose the interest in lots of things sometimes.

-What are the causes? Is she sad because she has family trouble etc?
You can't make her depression go away without handling the cause of it.

-Make her see a psychotherapist. You can't handle her on your own. Take care of it before it's too late.
This is really critical. Going to therapy can seem scary and she may think she doesn't need it or others around her may not even think she doesn't need it but IMO it can't hurt and it can prevent a mild case of depression from becoming severe (and it's been shown that therapy actually does change brain chemistry. Best treatment is meds and therapy). And Julie's right - you can't help - not in the way she really needs it. Be supportive, a friend yes, but don't try to be her therapist. You can easily get sucked into her depression yourself because you're not prepared to deal with it. Leave it to a pro.

If she's on anti- depresents, watch her. Tell her parents to watch her. MAKE sure she has correct suppervision at all times. PM me, if you need to talk. <3 About anti depresents or anything else... And, make sure that they know you're there for her.