Ha ha the post we've all been waiting for. Not. But yeah. I don't know what kind of advice I need, but here it is.

So, there is this guy. He works at Hy-Vee (grocery store) and I see him about everyday. I always thought he was pretty nice but just one day when I was checking something out by myself and he said 'Hi, how are you?' I don't know what happend, but I found that I ...liked him.
But there is one tiny little problem. Okay, I'm a freshman and he's gonna be a senior. I know things like this have happend in the past, and have worked out, but I'm not saying I'm planning on sweeping him off his feet, but I'm just saying if anything happend between us...IF...would it be wise? He's 3 1/2 years older than me, and I know there is a BIG difference between 14 and 17 and 20 and 24.
I know we are going to be in orchestra together,and probably we'll be having some art classes together...so yeah. Maybe study hall if he isn't in choir.


And so yeah. I just needed some advice.

Thanks,
Rose

My best friend is going through the exact same thing with her little sister. She just turned 15 (today) and he 'boyfriend' is 17. Her mom figured she would just watch it. She has very strict rules she has to go by. It didn't help that she has her son-in-law in her ear telling her what 17 yr olds think about :)
IMO.. age is only a number. Especially when you are in school together its kind of a grey area. You can always try and see what comes of it. You don't know what will happen. I don't see an issue with it bc yall are in school together. You will see each other on a daily basis. If he was 18 and out of school i would think to myself what is his problem :)
When I was 16 I dated a 20 yr old. And it was kinda tough on the relationship bc he was an adult and I was a minor. It didn't work out in the end... not bc of the age but bc he was an ass!

Just go for it and see what happens. Like Kaydee said, you're both in high school so it's not that big of a deal. Just take it slow and make sure that being older doesn't make him expect too much of you...if you know what I mean o.0

How well do you know this guy? I wouldn't advise getting with him right away. It's much more beneficial if you know each other pretty well so you know how to handle their personality and find out if they're actually relationship-capable. I, myself, am with someone who is fifty-one months younger. She's sixteen and I'm twenty. As Kaydee said, as long as you're careful and the guy isn't some sex-crazed psycho, there's no harm in testing the waters.

Do you have any idea how he feels about you?

there is no reason that you guys could not date, and at least you are aware of the age difference. But, being younger, you may have interpreted frienliness as flirting, and may be seeing something that is not there.

If it is just a crush, better to keep it to yourself. I know how terrible school can be when it leaks out who you are crishing over, and the next thing you know everyone in making jokes about it. Take it slow, see if he really seems into you.

also, does this guy have any kind of "reputation"? be careful that he is not one of those seniors who goes "hunting" for freshman girls, only to make them a notch in his bedpost.

Good points. I guess all I'm worried about are my peers and maybe parents' opinion on the whole thing. They know he's a nice guy, and his dad used to be their landlord, so they know him.

I don't know. I just have to get a way for him to talk to me and hopefully enjoy my company before I need to worry about age differences, but you guys have really good advice.

Keep it comin'

Love,
Rose

Do you have any idea how he feels about you?

there is no reason that you guys could not date, and at least you are aware of the age difference. But, being younger, you may have interpreted frienliness as flirting, and may be seeing something that is not there.

If it is just a crush, better to keep it to yourself. I know how terrible school can be when it leaks out who you are crishing over, and the next thing you know everyone in making jokes about it. Take it slow, see if he really seems into you.

also, does this guy have any kind of "reputation"? be careful that he is not one of those seniors who goes "hunting" for freshman girls, only to make them a notch in his bedpost.

No way. I can at least be sure of this. He isn't the hottest thing in the world, but seriously he's just really nice. I've never seen him with any other girl that I can think of before, and he's smart, as he's been on the gold and silver honor roll before. I know who the 'freshman hunting' seniors are and I would never ever be interested in them. Seriously, you don't have to worry about this guy being a freaky sex-perv.

He's one of the artsy guys in the school, the guys who are in orchestra and take lots of art classes. Like I said, my parents know who he is and his parents and his upbringing.

And I know even the nicest looking guys can SOMETIMES, OCCASIONALLY be sex-pervs, but I can assure you he is not going to be one of those.

But again, NOTHING at all has happened between us except a polite 'Hello, how are you?'

So yeah, maybe when school starts I'll be able to talk to him more.
I

EDIT: Double post. Please don't post twice in a row. Please just edit your original post. Thanks.

First let me tell you that this CAN work. I met my husband when I was a freshman and he was a senior in high school. I was 15 and he was 18. I was a little nervous at first, but it turned out that he was this really great, totally respectful guy. As long as you're not having sex with this guy, it's perfectly legal for you to date him, and in the long run, he may turn out to be really wonderful for you. I would say definitely go for it, but with caution. Maybe try double-dating or group dating at first so you get to know him better before you have to be alone with him. That said, good luck!

<3 Mary

First let me tell you that this CAN work. I met my husband when I was a freshman and he was a senior in high school. I was 15 and he was 18. I was a little nervous at first, but it turned out that he was this really great, totally respectful guy. As long as you're not having sex with this guy, it's perfectly legal for you to date him, and in the long run, he may turn out to be really wonderful for you. I would say definitely go for it, but with caution. Maybe try double-dating or group dating at first so you get to know him better before you have to be alone with him. That said, good luck!

<3 Mary

Sorry about the double posting, I didn't realize I was because something happend with my comp. Sorry! lol.

I have extremely strong morals, and I won't even consider sex before marriage. And if he dosen't like that, then the whole story is over lol.

But yeah, I know people who have married people 4+ years older than them. Like my grandfather just recently got remarried to someone 8 years younger. It could happen.

But I'll have more info on where this is going when I get to school. But you guys are really great.

I haven't told anyone outside of Evboard, so I'm pretty safe. I learned that lesson the hard way, don't tell people who you are crushing on. Wow. It sucks. Lol

I have the same sorta problem...I've known this guy since I was little (our families are friends.) I've just never noticed how nice, or good looking he is....He's always really nice to me but, the problem is....He's six years older then me and at uni. :o :(

immortaldreams, just go for it! There's nothing wrong with you two dating, and you're only young and at high school anyway. Besides, if he doesn't say yes, there's always plenty of guys who will! Just take it slow, be friends at first and if all is well, just tell him how you feel! Good luck!

Yeah, hopefully he'll want to be my friend, first and foremost. Its not like all the girls in my school are all over him. I'm not into those kind of guys. He's nice an quiet, and I feel I could probably get along with him just as a friend.

Keep the advice rollin'. You guys are awesome.

I have a question. Since I only see him at the grocery store, usually at the checkout, is there anything else I could say to him, without sounding like I'm trying too hard? Should I ask how he is doing rather than him asking me? jw...
thanks


//edit

so yesterday I'm coming out of the theatre, and he's in line for the OTHER movie, and I looked absolutely horrible. I had no idea or thought that he would be there.

Okay, that was a little girly girly but seriously. I mean, no one I've ever liked has shared the feeling, and I guess this time I'm hoping too much.

There isn't really any way you can make someone like you. I mean, basically its all luck if you like someone and they just happen to like you back. Wow. This is basically all teenage drama huh.

Have any of you had an experience similary to my whole story? How did it work out? Or if you are still in the process of this experience, lets help each other out.

Love, Rose

Yeah, hopefully he'll want to be my friend, first and foremost. Its not like all the girls in my school are all over him. I'm not into those kind of guys. He's nice an quiet, and I feel I could probably get along with him just as a friend.

Keep the advice rollin'. You guys are awesome.

I have a question. Since I only see him at the grocery store, usually at the checkout, is there anything else I could say to him, without sounding like I'm trying too hard? Should I ask how he is doing rather than him asking me? jw...
thanks


//edit

so yesterday I'm coming out of the theatre, and he's in line for the OTHER movie, and I looked absolutely horrible. I had no idea or thought that he would be there.

Okay, that was a little girly girly but seriously. I mean, no one I've ever liked has shared the feeling, and I guess this time I'm hoping too much.

There isn't really any way you can make someone like you. I mean, basically its all luck if you like someone and they just happen to like you back. Wow. This is basically all teenage drama huh.

Have any of you had an experience similary to my whole story? How did it work out? Or if you are still in the process of this experience, lets help each other out.

Love, Rose

~ Next time you go the grocery store,when he asks how you are,reply with '' Great thanks, how are you?'' or ''Good thanks,how's work going?'' something like that to get the conversation going,or at least let him hear you say more than ''Good thanks/great thanks/ok ''etc.
I was great friends with my boyfriend before we started dating, and I really really liked him, I thought he didn't like me.. but we ended up talking more and more and guess what? He did. And we are still together 9 months later. I love him :D
But hey,even if he doesn't end up liking you the way you want him to, at least he likes you as a mate (from what you've said) and that's something!