Hey, this isnt like a real problem or anything- i strictly want advice or tips.

Something just randomly hit me that maybe I should try stand-up comedy at a school variety show thats in a couple months.

Well, since the day it hit me, ive been gathering material, noting observations, anything I could use to morph into my routine. I might type it out here, but its not quite as funny if you read it- because most of stand up comedy is how you present and act (physically) with it... but I thought maybe you could critique my material based on humor, vulgarity, suggestiveness. Basically, I wanna keep as much humor as possible, keep it possibly suggestive, with minimum vulgarity/language/explicitness. And if you have any tips on stand-up in general, id love to know! Whether i know it or not- im sure any reinforcement will help.

Heres the material. ANd I realize it looks like i have taken some material from other comics, but lets face it- every topic to talk about has been talked about. Its my job to change it into a somewhat original story/observation. I definately try VERY hard to take kinda-obscure topics or topics I know other stand-ups havent used. And I know its not as funny while you're reading it. I dont expect you to crack up.

Opening Bit: High School

Girl Bonding
-Why girls bond? Dirt on each other.
-Insurance
-Ex: "I'm never talking to you again!" - "Think again. Remember Miami? I was with you."
Cheating/Relationships
-Guys catching a girl cheating: Straight up break-up.
-Girls catching guys cheating: Set-up/trap/test
-Ex: They send their best friends. Its not the girlfriend you need to watch out for- its her best friends.
-Girls humiliating guys in front of their friends. "Oooh, I love you baby! *air smooch* (Improv)
Fights
-Guys fighting? The guys who loses gets KOd or beaten up the most.
-Girls fighting? The losing girl is the one screaming the most because she keeps missing. (Show imitation of screaming, fists-flying girl). Her friends try to stop her "She won, girl, she won, leave it alone."


Filler Bit: American Ignorance

Foreigners
-Americans visiting other countries "Look at all the foreigners!"
-Exaggerated Americans visiting other countries "Look at all the minorities!"
"World" Series
-American MLB: World Series. We call ourselves world champs and play no others in the world.
-American Basketball World series. Calling our own teams the best in the world and play no others in the world.
-EX: "Oh look Shaq just wiped the court and no one in America can beat him so okay he's the best in the world."


Filler Bit: Holidays

Holidays = Foods
-Whens the last time someone said "Thanksgiving" and you thought "Oh! Pilgrims and Indians sharing a common ground and peace!"? Never.
-So now...Thanksgiving = Turkey, Cranberry Sauce, Green Bean Casserole, etc. Christmas = Candy, Fudge, etc. Easter and Valentines = Candy, Chocolate.
-Presidents Day? Earth Day? Uh...?


Ending Bit: Kids

Famous Kids
-IE: Lil Bow Wow on TV all the time.
-IE: Lil Romeo on TV all the time.
-Dont they go to school?
-And what about the "Lil" in front of their names? Does Bow Wow turn into "Arf arf" when he gets older?
Kids and Truth
-Kids lie and dont know better.
-Kids tell the truth at the wrong time.
-IE: Kids get into fight. Then comes... "My momma said your momma stinks!"...
Kids vs. Adults
-Kid moves out. Parents: Yay.
-Kid moves back in. Parents: Its ok. We'll support you till you're back on your feet.
-Kid stays in, 2 weeks later. Parents: *puts locks on the fridge and installs pay shower*



And I understand my list up there is kinda vague- most of it i improv and i dont wanna memorize it down to the last word- then it just seems boring, stiff, uninteresting to the audience. I think my Filler Bit on holidays is kinda weak... but the topic on kids and high school are the ones i have the most knowledge and notes on. The only other filler topics I have are actually like just one-liner observations about randomness. They're amusing, but...I cant think of how i'd blend them into their own bit. I cant just spit out one-liners. THeres actually one more topic on racism/prejudice that Id talk about that another comic did and I think it was so important to be heard that Id think about doing it myself, but... im still trying to desperately avoid taking others' original material.

Any tips or advice? =D

(Oh, and if this is in the wrong board, please move it?)

it is good to improv with little notes to remind yourself. that way it sounds natural and not rehearsed.

the trick to being a good stand-up commedian is to look natural and comfortable up there. giving a speech and doing a stand-up rotuine are 2 different things. In a speech, you want good posture and to speak clearly. it is stand-up routine, you want to hunch a bit. Know how you are going to hold your microphone. Maybe walk around a bit. Practice with your props if you have any. practicing using some outrageous hand gestures. it is OK to laugh at what you are saying, so practice laughing a bit. Not too much, that will conceal the routine, but enough so you seem relaxed.

be familar with your material, but not rehearsed. try your routine in front of the mirror to work on facial expressions. Wear some ridiculous outfit. Keep a bottle of water handy, because all that talking may make your thirsty.

good luck, sounds like you have a good routine plans. Knock em dead!

I've never done stand up but I've done comedy in theater and it's harder than it looks. I think comedy is about timing and delivery. To me it was almost a choreographed dance. Miss some steps and it falls apart. I think you should practice it. If it comes to you naturally great, but I think most comedians practice it a hundred different ways before they settle on what works. Ever said "that didn't come out right" or "that sounded different in my head". I think you should practice out loud in front of a mirror to see if it really comes out funny. Some improv is great but you get on stage and you're nervous you'll be better off feeling like you know what your doing.

But what do I know? Ultimately you'll find what feels comfortable (and funny) for you. Good luck.