Ok, I hope that this comes off even handed and it is not directed at anyone specifically; heck it probably even applies to me.
I am older than most of you on this board (but I wish the heck that I wasn't ;) ) and I have watched at first with bemusement, then with horror, at the drama that has unfolded on the board of late. This person mad with that person; this person jealous of this person; rants that amount to nothing more than "I'll take my toys and go home." Cries of indignation that anyone would dare question you... about anything. Replies of "He started it!" only to be drowned out by louder cries of, "NO!! He started it first!"
If this all sounds like 8 year-olds on a school playground that is because that is exactly what it is; about the only thing "adult" about the conversations are the use of a few four-letter words.
I know that frustations and tensions are high right now but it all stems from one simple fact... we have lost all sense of civility, decorum and just plain common courtesy for your fellow man.
There's a simple solution but I suspect that you won't like it. Grow up. Seriously. Don't be so self-centered and self-absorbed that you couldn't care less about anyone else's feelings because you are so wrapped up in your own.
I was your age once (God, that sounds so trite), and I can tell you that I once carried on the same way about the same kinds of things and I now look back with a sense of embarassment that I ever allowed myself to get so worked up over so little.
Someone somewhere today lost their battle with cancer, died in a tragic accident, or fell victim to some hideous crime. Those people left behind a family who REALLY feel a sense of loss. And your only concern? "He/She called me a name!" or "He/She is starting trouble with me!"
I love each and everyone of you (Ok, some of you make it very difficult sometimes, but I digress), and I love you as if you were a part of my family. It is time that the silliness stop. Let bygones be bygones; forget "who started it" and be the first one to say, "It ends here." Extend an apology, even if you don't feel like it; do it in a PM, do it on the board, heck, even do it in an email... just do it. Kindness begins with one simple act, even if you don't feel as though the kindness is deserved. Forgiveness is the act of a strong willed person; unforgiveness and hostility are the tools of destruction.

OK, who is first? Let me start. If I have offended anyone of you in any capacity, hurt your feelings in anyway, forgive me. Better yet; PM me what I did so that I can formally apologize and be certain to never make the same mistake again.

Well said LC , there has been alot of drama on the board as of late , hopefully everybody can put it to an end after reading your post... :)


And I apoligize if I have been a jerk to anyone... :D

There's no need to apologize. That was a great post. There seems to be a general negativity for just about everything on this board. Ok, EVERYTHING ON THIS BOARD.

Seriously, it seems like every thread that starts out as information ends in arguments. Not all the time, but nearly. That's not fun.

It makes me a sad panda :(

*claps* Well done lowercountry! :p

I know that frustations and tensions are high right now but it all stems from one simple fact... we have lost all sense of civility, decorum and just plain common courtesy for your fellow man.
I haven't been here all that long, but I have noticed a trend towards petty, unimportant things blowing up into terrible, terrible dramas. I find it hard to honestly believe that people that come on here don't have any other problems other that what occurs to them on a message board. Someone pointed out that there's a thread made on that topic already? There's no need to blow up about it, the vast majority of the time the redirection is nothing more than a link and a "sorry, been posted already". I don't see that as being offensive. The mods are picking on you? Read the rules, and things will improve. I'm not attempting to complain about the way the board staff has been handling the current tensions, I think they are doing an admirable job of it. I do put it to the members of the board that until everyone gets a sense of common decency and mutual respect, the board staff is helpless to bring things back to the way they were when we were all having a good time. They can't force you to respect others, they can only ban, warn, and close. If people have a problem with that, I think the gabe addressed this issue in "The Way Things Are". Someone insulted you about a post you made or a PM you sent them? Don't sink down and insult them back. Ask why they think the way they do. Disagreements are part of human nature, yes, but also, there's a need to actually understand where you went wrong. "You're an idiot" doesn't help you to change your actions in the future. Really, common sense and common decency are all we need to bring things back to a fun time. No one needs to get in a huff over petty things on a message board.
It is time that the silliness stop. Let bygones be bygones; forget "who started it" and be the first one to say, "It ends here." Extend an apology, even if you don't feel like it; do it in a PM, do it on the board, heck, even do it in an email... just do it.
Amen to that. I spend the vast majority of my time in the Debate or COT forums, and I try not to take personal swipes at people when I'm debating. If I have, please PM me and let me know that I did, and tell me why. I'll refrain from doing it in the future if it's at all possible. I'll be the second to start the process. Let me know what I'm doing wrong. Some of you might have gathered that I have a philisophical background, from some of my posts in Debate. I can assure you that I read criticisms of my postions and ideas every day. You don't fully understand your arguments until you understand your opponent's. As such, I can say, if I'm doing something wrong or offensive, tell me about it. I can't understand where you are coming from, unless you are willing to tell me what you thought that I did was offensive. There's no need for personal insults, either in debate, or solving problems that you might have with another person on the board.

I'll go.

I know I've played the minimod here a few times, and I usually get slapped down by the real mods, but never in a mean way, and usually way lighter than I deserve.

I've been accused of starting trouble here by a few of the members..
I don't know what I started, but I'll admit to perpetuating it. I should have handled myself better in that regard.
So yeah, I'm sorry for that.

There's probably a lot of you here that wish I would leave.
I'm sorry for that too, I honestly am. But this is who I am, and this is who I'll stay.

Lowercountry, I love you. :D

I, too, have noticed the lack of sensibility, respect, and maturity. I hope that everyone here, (and if I am one of them) including myself will try our hardest to improve ourselves and to make this board a better place to be. This board shouldn't be about fighting and putting down others. It should be a place where Ev fans can unite and share our love of their music with one another and also to enjoy the company and friendship of others. All, or at least most of us are fair and reasonable people, so let's act like it shall we? :)

I'm sorry if I've said some stupid things in the past, but sometimes I get too excited to think about what I'm saying. Yeah, it's a little stupid, but I can't help it.

I am willing to forgive and forget if everyone else is willing to do the same. People make mistakes and they should be forgiven for them.

*big hugs all around* I try my best to ignore it when people are mean... but I sometimes snap when I see open confrontation... and I'll be the first admit to giving bad rep for such public mean-ness. But I know that's not the best way of dealing with it, since people seem to take rep points so seriously, so I apologize for using that instead of pm's ^.^

I also apologize if people don't like my cookies O.o;; *gives cookies to people* ^_^

I agree. That's about all someone can say, I guess. The drama and "so and so tells so and so to grow up, then so and so says it back" and stuff is just unpleasant, and doesn't help this board grow (or thrive as is) at all. So yeah, I agree enitrely.

I have a friend who frequently says "Only YOU can prevent drama fires.", and that's both funny AND true. Drama only exists if other people buy into it...if we ignore someone being a jerk or acting rudely, it tends to keep the huge fights, name-calling etc. away. I've been here off and on since 2002, and I know there're A LOT of people here willing to do that (ignore crap), and that's excellent...we just need to do it more often. Opinions are well and good, but if your opinion of someone's negative opinion is only going to further the crap, it's probably a good idea to keep it to yourself, y'know? I dunno, I guess most people don't really think about it.

Anyway...yeah. Excellent post. :)

*big hugs all around* I try my best to ignore it when people are mean... but I sometimes snap when I see open confrontation... and I'll be the first admit to giving bad rep for such public mean-ness. But I know that's not the best way of dealing with it, since people seem to take rep points so seriously, so I apologize for using that instead of pm's ^.^

I also apologize if people don't like my cookies O.o;; *gives cookies to people* ^_^


Lizzy, I love your cookies. Can I have one ?? :D

You can never have enough Lizzy cookies!

I'd like to publicly thank Lizzy for the cookie *does a little queen-like curtsy and bows her crown* :)

Well, I did some thinking, and I realized, all the people who like the thought of me leaving, they're not important to me anyhow, so why am I turning myself into a pretzle pleasing them? I think it might be better for me to stay, so, here I am.

I apologize for playing MiniMod. I never mean harm by it, I'm just trying to be helpful. Maybe it's oldest sibling syndrome or something. But I don't intentionally try to tick people off by doing it. And if people take my posting links as modding, I apologize for that. I was under the impression that posting a link was okay, maybe I was wrong. Again, I was only trying to be helpful, and I'm sorry.

I apologize for perpetuating drama around here. I know better, and I was trying to avoid it. That's why PMs are a good thing and I've been trying to stick to them.

I apologize for anything else I may have done to make someone hate me. Alot of the time what I say comes out wrong. I don't intend to sound snappy or mean or cocky or anything.

And if there's anyone who would like a personal apology for something I may have done, I'll gladly give it to you - just let me know.

Lastly, I apologize for things I never did.

Much love.

Coach...you deserve another stare at mah booty for that one!

<3

Coach...you deserve another stare at mah booty for that one!

<3
Gosh just a stare? :)

*claps*

Well said... I haven't been here long enough, and I don't believe I've done anything bad to anyone, and I hope I never do. I have noticed a lot of fighting on almost every thread, and it really is a pitty. The admins pay enough money for this board, we shouldn't let it go to waste on petty arguements.

*passes out some milk* to go with those cookies *yummy* ;)

Can't you finally feel the love in this thread?

*Group hug*

*heaps all varieties of cookies on Jen and Luna and Lauren and EVERYONE* ^_^

I don't know what the board was like a year ago, but I can definetly say I have noticed an improvement in the atmosphere here, over the past few weeks.
Instead of everyone jumping on one another, people are actually going out of there way to say "Hey, good post". It's amazing how far these simple boosts can take everyone. It also sets a good standard for new members, as appose to seeing flame after flame, and eventually jumping in.

Start the good momentum, and watch it spread.

Oh, and I just wanted to say that I don't really open up much on this board, probably alot because I am scared too, but I am definetly feeling alot more comfortable with everyone here, and I'm loving it. So... thank you all :)

Ehem, I'll take a chocolate chip cookie please! :p

I agree with Fallen over the past few weeks there has been a change around here and for the better ya know!

I dont have anything to apologize for... I am not mean to anyone I just say Whatever and move on lol

But i do give mad props to those who are apologizing! It shows a different side to all!

Go Kaydee! Go, Go, Go Kaydee! :D don't you wish all of us were like that! :rolleyes:

[[ sings ]] Where is the love ?????

Right here on the Evboard. :p

I wish I could remember who I said nice things to and who I shamelessly pwned o.O I'm sure I did more of the former tho! *thinks bout it* speaking of which, I should tell Death Metal Wolverine that his last avatar pic that I saw of him is dashing!

Krys, what's dis about people biatching B.S. your way? *Grrr* it's time again to pour some oatmeal down people's underwear, LOL! You'd think they'd realize that there are more important things to be pissed about, like expensive car insurance! :B

*shares her treasured wheat-free chocolate chip cookies* :D thanks Lizzy!
wait, Lilly, which is you and which is Lizzy? *dizzy*

Soo... Lowercountry finally came out and said it - and I applaud him.

Further to that, I'd like to assure you all that you don't have to apologise for offending me. I know you're all assholes, but you'll be pleased to hear that I'm prepared to put up with you anyway.

That's just the kind of fantastic guy I am. :D

Soo... Lowercountry finally came out and said it - and I applaud him.

Further to that, I'd like to assure you all that you don't have to apologise for offending me. I know you're all assholes, but you'll be pleased to hear that I'm prepared to put up with you anyway.

That's just the kind of fantastic guy I am. :D

[[ hugs head ]] :D

Note: It's very apparent that some people on this board still have not read Lowercountry's wonderful post yet. :(

you rock LC, I always love reading your posts.

wow, in all honestly, yeah, this board does get off hand alot. And I'm sorry if I took part in any of it. But the truth of what happens alot on this board needs to be changed for the better. Thx for calling that to our attention, i appreciate it very much :)

I hate you Head, bite me ;)

Oh oh oh! Me first!





*additional 20 characters*

I'll bite you both, you little whores.

Now get in line.

:D

You sound...smart. Koodos to you. And I`ll be good.

Lowercountry,

Thank you for this thread, we must look at this again from time to time (esp after what happened last night). I try to be as courteous / respectful as possible, and make it a rule to leave mod-ing to mods.

Have a good day.

I agree with lowercountry.
What's the point of argueing when we're all in this together?
So what if someone disses you or something? Just ignore them-don't do the same to them.
Anyway, think about how ev would feel if all their fans were falling apart!
I must admit that sometimes people annoy me on here but I just forget about it and don't hold a grudge.
Lets get on.

-hattie jo :D

*takes a choco. lizzie cookie*
Thanks lowercountry! *hugs for all*

http://www.hampsterdance.com/gif/gerbil-l2.gif

I'm sorry for whatever-the-fuck ever I've done here lately. Drama needs to stop and so i'm lurking for a month, taking myself out of the equation because I refuse to be caught up in this petty bullshit. Thanks. Over and out. .

This thread still works and no need of any update. A good reminder.

Awesome post Lowercountry... I agree with everything you said.

I don't think I ever truly pissed someone off on here, but if I did, and you're reading this, I'm truly sorry!!

Mostly I love the atmosphere on this board :D

amy la calabazita

Ive always sorta felt this way. I look at threads that might say "Im 13, and lost the love of my life." and then compare and contrast to "My best friend of 7 years just died last night." and I dunno, i feel a bit 'irked' about it.

Update: I am glad stuff has gotten better. And we're on the up-swing! :D Still sorry for what i have done / what I haven't done. Miles D is just a human :D .

Whoever is reading this...I KNOW I've offended you. I remember you wrote something like "eracholo17 needs to calm down" or something like that. I'm sorry you were offended but I'm not sorry I said whatever it is I said. I'm EXTREMELY sarcastic and, like everyone knows, it is VERY difficult to detect HOW one is saying something. Sometimes I cause drama here and I know that. But I don't mean to. So, if you're reading this (whoever you are...I forgot:p), sorry you were offended.

Ceez/eracholo17/Mike Shinoda/Teh Ceez is also human.

Miles...you need to change your name back to "wooden door". HAHAHA!! XD :D

Miles D is just a human :D .


Ceez/eracholo17/Mike Shinoda/Teh Ceez is also human.
[/size]


The Hulk is human too *but green and a little bit mutated*

but green and a little bit mutated*COOL! Sort of like you!! Awesome!! *gasps*:eek:

....*takes a few steps back*....

:eek:Is that YOU in your sig?:eek:

COOL! Sort of like you!! Awesome!! *gasps*:eek:

....*takes a few steps back*....

:eek:Is that YOU in your sig?:eek:


Nope!

YOU after kick your desperate balls 12 times...

Nope!

YOU after kick your desperate balls 12 times...

Gil... what is the Klingon way of restoring honor to the great hall?

Gil... what is the Klingon way of restoring honor to the great hall?

Baker's Dozen for you, I mean 13! :D

Gil... what is the Klingon way of restoring honor to the great hall?
My guess?? Either a ripe pummeling with pain sticks or some kind of fight to the death. Preferably while playing that fight music from when kirk had to fight spock!

Dun-dun-dun- duhduhduh- duhduhduh- dundun..

....and how in the hell did I totally miss this thread?! *thwacks self*

THANK you, Coach, for saying that. I remember how it was then; li'l n00bish me was kinda frightened by all the drama and animosity. It's been a lot better lately, or so I've thought. Perhaps people are finally reading this.

I don't know if I've pissed anyone off as of late, or instigated any negative drama. But if I have, then I'm sorry. As was said before, sometimes it's difficult to tell how something is meant online. "OMG I hate you" can be taken seriously or facetiously and sometimes it can get confused (okay, extreme example, but you get me.)

I :heart: everyone here. I :heart: Teh Smurfs like crazy, I :heart: the mods. I :heart: the other friends I've made through here. This board has been so great to me, and I hate it when people argue over petty differences.

So...thanks guys. *hugs you all* *passes some of her own cookies around* ;)

This is a very good thread. Thanks to Lowercountry for starting it.

This might be a bit off topic but this board and the people here are very important to me and it makes me sad to see an unnecessary fight in a thread for some stupid reason.
It seems that lately it happens a lot more than about 7 months ago.
Of course you can't always be nice to everyone, but It's good to think twice what you are going to say, if it's something negative.
We all are here because we love Evanescence and we like to talk to people who feel the same way.. well, almost all of us.
So, why start fighting? :(

In my opinion, I'm a bit of an onlooker in some of the threads. But that depends on what mood im in.
If I have offended someone with my posts or I've said some stupid things, I'm truly sorry. Hugs!