Okay, so this is really weird to me, because nothing like this has ever happend to me before. So maybe, there are people with this kind of experience and you could try to help me.

So, I work at the local Univeristy's Cafeteria and I was on my break and I went to the Univ. Library to check my email and such, and I just walk in and I end up talking to the guy kitty corner from me. I didn't really think he was flirting with me until they started to guess my age. I get this a lot, because I'm 14 but I look way older than I really am, and at first he and his friend guessed 22, they thought I was a college student at first, and when they got to 14, they were really suprised. He was like 'Wow. Do you get a lot of older guys hitting on you?' And I told him that once I had a 27 year old guy hit on me (true story) and that it was tottaly weird and disgusting. And he was like 'Would it be weird if a 17 year old guy hit on you?'(he is seventeen) and we all started laughing, and he moved over next to me. We both found out that neither of us had ever been in any kind of relationship, and he thought that meant we would be perfect for each other, and he would send little emails to me and one said 'Do you wanna go upstairs and like makeout?' and I tottaly told him no, because I have extremely strong old-fashioned morals like that, and then he sent me an email asking me out on a date, and like I said, I'm old fashioned, and I said no, but that we could go on a walk together with his friend. So we started walking and his friend started walkign slower and slower so that we could be alone. He tried many times to hold my hand, but I was like 'No, dude. Sorry' and we kept walking and talking, and I found out that we have a lot of things in common, for example, we both want to be art majors in college.
We started walking through the art center, and after that he walked me to my work, and I would start talking about something and he would keep changing the subject to like 'So would you consder this a date?' or ' can i just hold your hand?' and I told him that I wasn't sure if it was a date or not, and eventually I let him put his arm around me for like a few seconds, but then I shrugged away. We got to my work and then we said goodbye, and that was all for that day.

Yesterday, I looked for him all over campus on my first break, and then I finally caught him on my second break. It was tottaly awkward, because the day before we were just chatting, and I liked that, but yesterday it was a few awkward moments between each sentence. And then we finally got to the cheese, and he said "I don't know if I'll get to see you before I go, so I was wondering if I could give you a goodbye kiss." and I kept thinking to myself ' I just want to be friends, but how do I tell him?' and he kept telling me 'its only kiss' but to me, its kind of a big deal. I've never been kissed before, and when I do have my first kiss, I want it to be at least natural. And he kept scooting closer and I moved back and then he grabbed my hand, and he was like 'how about a hug?' and I was fine with that and I gave him a hug, and I felt really guilty for not liking him back. That was the last real conversation, I had with him. He invited me to see his sports game ( he was at a sports camp at the university ) and I went for a few seconds, but then I left. And after his game I saw him at the place where you hang out at the university, and he was with some guys in some weird ice war (don't ask), and I told him I'd be outside at the local rock band's show, and that i'd meet him there. He agreed to meet me in a few It turned out that I had to leave before that, and he didn't see me when he was probably looking for me.
When I came in for work this morning, I saw him, and I forgot about the night before, and he wouldn't even talk to me. Like when I said 'Hey how are you?' he just did a little nod and grunt. And he left to go back to Michigan before I got off work.

I sent him an email explaining about how I couldn't be outside last night, but I don't know if he checks his email very often. A part of me is telling me that I really do like him, but then another part is saying that I'm don't and that I am just feeling guilty that I don't like him.

I remember being 11-12 and thinking that being a heartbreaker would be the coolest thing in the world, but I never planned on ever doing it because I have never thought any guy would ever like me like this guy did, and I'm having this really big guilty feeling in my stomach like I did something wrong because I didn't kiss him or let him hold my hand. I keep thinking that maybe I do like him, but then I'm thinking that I don't. Is it possible to be in the middle?

I don't know what kind of advice I am wanting, maybe I just wanted to get this out of my system.

Sorry if I'm being a noob, but nothing like this has ever happened to me before.

Thanks,
Rose

No, I don't think is a n00bish problem at all.

I think at first he was coming on a little too strong -- It was very obvious he hadn't been in a relationship before. But you seemed to keep your morals therefore I'm not surprised nothing bad happened. He should know that he couldn't have a serious relationship with someone as young as 14 who's never had a boyfriend before.

Honestly, I think you are tricking yourself into like him because of the fact he's not giving any attention to you. You're feeling guilty and you're making yourself like him so you can get rid of the guilt when and if you ever decide to go out with him. Therefore, I don't think you like him. As said before, you're tricking yourself into liking him.

I personally would send him an e-mail and leave it at that. If he doesn't respond, he doesn't respond. No point in rushing it.

I hope everything works out for the best :) Just remember that it wasn't your fault that you didn't want to date him and him being almost an adult should realise that he should not have expected committment from someone as young as you.

Argh. It's getting even more confusing as time goes on. I really miss him and I really want to explain everything to him, but the only way is through email, which he dosen't check very often, but its a start I guess.

Because I've hurt him, its hurting me.

Because I've hurt him, its hurting me.

I know you feel bad that you may have hurt him, but in reality he is probably mad because he could not get "further" with you physically. Kudos to you for sticking to your morals and not giving in to him.

a 17 year old boy has a lot of things on his mind, and a lot of the time it is pursuing a physical relationship. If he realizes you are true to your morals, he is going to find someone who he can make out with. Look at his behavior here:

you wanna go upstairs and like makeout?
He tried many times to hold my hand, but I was like 'No, dude. Sorry'
And he kept scooting closer and I moved back and then he grabbed my hand

you stated many times you were uncomfortable with his physical advances, but he kept persisting. it is obvious he was seeking a physical relationship with you, and when he realzied that was not what you had in mind, he went looking for someone else.

Please, do not feel bad about it. I really doubt you "hurt" his feelings. More likely he is mad he could not get further with you. And please, do not consider yourself old fashioned. Having respect for yourself and your body is a GREAT thing. Women are taught to be nice and polite and try to please everyone. And, by standing up for yourself, you fear you might hurt someone's feelings. Always stand up for yourself. YOU come first in your life, and you cannot spend your life pleasing others.

furthermore, in the future, if a man keeps making physical advances towards you that you are uncomfortable with, do not go somewhere alone with him. You may think he just wants to hold your hand, but not all men are like that, and being along with a stranger and his friend, well, it can be trouble.

I hope you will always stand up for yourself and your morals. Never let a guy talk you or pressure you into doing something you are not ready for.

I know you feel bad that you may have hurt him, but in reality he is probably mad because he could not get "further" with you physically. Kudos to you for sticking to your morals and not giving in to him.

a 17 year old boy has a lot of things on his mind, and a lot of the time it is pursuing a physical relationship. If he realizes you are true to your morals, he is going to find someone who he can make out with. Look at his behavior here:





you stated many times you were uncomfortable with his physical advances, but he kept persisting. it is obvious he was seeking a physical relationship with you, and when he realzied that was not what you had in mind, he went looking for someone else.

Please, do not feel bad about it. I really doubt you "hurt" his feelings. More likely he is mad he could not get further with you. And please, do not consider yourself old fashioned. Having respect for yourself and your body is a GREAT thing. Women are taught to be nice and polite and try to please everyone. And, by standing up for yourself, you fear you might hurt someone's feelings. Always stand up for yourself. YOU come first in your life, and you cannot spend your life pleasing others.

furthermore, in the future, if a man keeps making physical advances towards you that you are uncomfortable with, do not go somewhere alone with him. You may think he just wants to hold your hand, but not all men are like that, and being along with a stranger and his friend, well, it can be trouble.

I hope you will always stand up for yourself and your morals. Never let a guy talk you or pressure you into doing something you are not ready for.

Thanks. That really helped. I guess most seventeen year old guys I know, are pretty much only after the physical aspect of a relationship. But there are a few decent guys, but they don't do anything like that.

I guess I never really put the pieces together like that. But I'm really glad and proud of myself for standing up for my morals.

Thanks. That really helped. I guess most seventeen year old guys I know, are pretty much only after the physical aspect of a relationship. But there are a few decent guys, but they don't do anything like that.

I guess I never really put the pieces together like that. But I'm really glad and proud of myself for standing up for my morals.

I'm glad I could help. Not that all guys are sleezy, but a significant portion of 17-year olds know exactly what to do and say to get a girl to get physical. He was trying to guilt trip you into kissing him. he was also starting with small things like "just a hug", and then "just let me hold your hand".

You have every right to be proud of yourself. And, I truly believe there is someone compatible for everyone out there. Soon enough a nice guy, who respects your wishes about being physical, will come along and say "this is the kind of girl I have been waiting for."

Trust me, when you are my age (quick, get the cane), you are going to be so proud that you waiting until you were ready for it, and you were not tricked into it by some horny teenager who said and did whatever he could to make you go against your morals. Remember, a guy who truly respects and cares about YOU, will respect and care about your wishes.

I'm glad I could help. Not that all guys are sleezy, but a significant portion of 17-year olds know exactly what to do and say to get a girl to get physical. He was trying to guilt trip you into kissing him. he was also starting with small things like "just a hug", and then "just let me hold your hand".

You have every right to be proud of yourself. And, I truly believe there is someone compatible for everyone out there. Soon enough a nice guy, who respects your wishes about being physical, will come along and say "this is the kind of girl I have been waiting for."

Trust me, when you are my age (quick, get the cane), you are going to be so proud that you waiting until you were ready for it, and you were not tricked into it by some horny teenager who said and did whatever he could to make you go against your morals. Remember, a guy who truly respects and cares about YOU, will respect and care about your wishes.


Yeah. I kept thinking 'when I am older, I'm really going to regret this if I do what he wants with him.' like even if it was something like a kiss or holding my hand, he could of very easily expected more from me, and I don't really want to know what could have happened. I'd be like 'You know, I really wish I had waited until later to have my first kiss, or hold some guys hand' because I'm sort of a romantic person like that lol. Now I'm glad I didn't do anything I would have regretted.

:D lol

I'd be like 'You know, I really wish I had waited until later to have my first kiss, or hold some guys hand' because I'm sort of a romantic person like that lol. Now I'm glad I didn't do anything I would have regretted.

:D lol

Your first kiss will be when the moment is right. If he has to ask for it, it is not the right moment. Like you said, you should never feel pressured into giving a kiss or holding hands just to make the other person happy. If the time is right, then neither of you will have to ask, it will just happen.

My first "hand holding" was when I was 14. I went with a group of co-ed friends to see a movie. Me and this guy kind of liked eachother, but since we were 14 we really were too young to be dating. So, we saw a scary movie, and i gripped the arm rest, and he put his hand over mine. It was very sweet. Not awkward.

When the time is right, you will know it in your gut.

See, that is natural. If you are watching a movie and gripping his arm rest and he puts his hand on yours, that is natural and very sweet. Its not like it is planned or anything.

I'm still waiting to get an email back from him to see what he has to say, but now I don't feel nearly as guilty as I did a few days ago, and that is very comforting.


Another weird thing happend that day though, lol. For this huge camp they had this cool band play and when I was waiting for the band to play this guy came up to me and he was pretty short, lol and he goes up to me and is like 'So, are you waiting for your boyfriend?' and I'm like 'lol I don't have a boyfriend' and he's like 'Why not?!' and I was like 'Well, guys just don't seem to like me lol' and he's like 'How do you know? I'm sure there are lots of guys here who'd like to go out with you. You need a boyfriend' and I'm like 'why?' and he's like 'to have someone to go to this thing with and talk to' and I told him that I wasn't really tooo interested in having a boyfriend, and that I had other things to worry about. But then I told him 'Well, there is this freaky stalker guy who asked me out, but I don't like him' and he's like 'So you are waiting for someone not creepy to ask you out?' and I'm like 'Well, yeah that would be nice' and he was like 'Do you think I'm freaky?' and I was thinking 'I know EXACTLY where this is going' and I told him No, and as I expected he was like 'So, do you wanna go out with me?' and this guy was way nicer than the other guy but I had only known him for like 3 minutes, and I think the reason he was asking me was because it was the last night of the camp and all the couples were going to like hook-up and makeout for the last night and hold hands and stuff. Lol. It was kind of interesting. I told him no, because I wasn't aloud to date anyway, and that I didn't really want to have a boyfriend. Which is the truth right now, because I have other things like school to worry about, but if the right guy came long I don't mind. At least if I was over sixteen. Lol. Its hard to hide things like that from my parents lol.


Well, I told my dad and he told my mom, and I'm glad I told them because I really don't like having anything to hide from my parents. My mom thought I was being 'preyed' upon but I guess she has the right to worry because I am her daughter.

I also just got an email from him. He tottaly understood my explanation and he said he didn't want me to lose my parents' trust. At least there is something decent about him. I really just want to be his friend, but nothing much more.

Thanks for all your help, guys. You really are the best.