Thank you and Thank you!

Dragonknight, what do you mean by "I don't know exactly what you could do with the verses though."? Just wondering...confused me a little.

This was definitely planned as a heavier song. The way Ev did "Thoughtless" by Korn is similar to how I imagined this. The chorus at the beginning would be sung in a slow and calming manner, accompanied with piano, and then would pick up hardcore for the first verse. The parentheses are kind of "whispers" in the background that would be understandable for sure, but overlapped in speech with the next line.

Thanks for comments guys <3

lol what I meant was I wasn't sure how you could have the verses sound, I was just thinking they could sound fairly powerful, or fairly soft, with a repeating guitar melody or chord sequence behind the voice.

__________________
This is my life! And there is nothing you can do about it!
To think that life is enough, is to be killed by your own existence.

Fallen;
Angel of respite,
Confined to earth with broken wings,
Resigned to life with broken dreams,
You’re all too much like me,

Enticing, thoughtfully,
The murky corners of my mind,
An effort to convince me,
That I will fly again,
When I’ve spent so much time,
Convincing myself,
That I will only fly in death,

(Chorus x2)
Fallen,
A dream of life,
Can I be saved?
Will you save me tonight?
Fallen angel of respite

Fallen,
A dream of life

A pulsing plea to make you see,
This world is not how it should be,
My mind is broken, like your wings,
Tired from trying to fly when,
All that’s left is tattered fragments,
Pieces broken and waiting for someone,
Like you,
To put them back together,
So for a time,
You can fly,
I can live...

But all respites have an end,
And we’ll both fall again,

(Chorus x2)

Fallen,
A dream of life.



This is a slow, rockish song. Kinda liike...Broken by Seether and Amy. Except maybe a little more calmish. The spoken structure of the lyrics is similar to Solitude by Ev.

This idea has been rolling around in my head for a couple days, so i just whipped it up haha. I am not sure about the chorus though.

wow, this is pretty interesting, it flows pretty well. The ideas in the verses are pretty nice too, i like the bit where it goes:

"An effort to convince me,
That I will fly again,
When I’ve spent so much time,
Convincing myself,
That I will only fly in death,"

it's twisting someones attempt to save you, causing the opposite effect to that which this person is aiming for.

__________________
This is my life! And there is nothing you can do about it!
To think that life is enough, is to be killed by your own existence.

This one is really nice sounds kinda like something I would do... eheh..
I also like the verse:
"Enticing, thoughtfully,
The murky corners of my mind,
An effort to convince me,
That I will fly again,
When I’ve spent so much time,
Convincing myself,
That I will only fly in death"

And I got a heavy, frustrated feeling from this song, like the person has given up and believes that nothing can help them and no one will try, even though someone may actually be trying, the person just says that its useless and soon the other person will feel just as they do. Basically what Dragoknight said
Are we right? I'm pretty curious..
I also liked the song before this alot, but couldn't really think of anything else to say...
I'll have to get around to posting before Dragoknight! Stealing all my thoughts...grr!

__________________
INSANITY IS THE FIRST SIGN OF INSANITY!!!

Hahaha - shame on you DragonKnight, stealing her thoughts like that! Your interpretations are pretty much right!! I was going for a helpless, inevitable downfall feeling.

And, AdamantEsuna, it reminds me of something that you would write, too!! I think it's funny that you think the same!!! Maybe you were an inspiration?

Hehe, thanks guys!

Heyyy, I found some old, interesting poems that I wrote!! Thought I'd share 'em since I've never really shared them with anyone.


Shadows
In the shadows is where I wait,
You’ve left me here to disintegrate,
Born by the light of a single flame,
Clawing at myself, in pity and shame,
Light dances around me as I watch in envy,
The flames fuel is almost empty,
I can’t move, so I’ll wait for your return,
While the light dims and I get what I earned.

Denial
Lying here, forcing thoughts into my mind
Trying to erase what should be left behind
Success will only last temporarily
Bringing me back to the pain I fear
Trying to mask these obliged tears
Denying every trace of denial.


Closed Minded
What the fuck do you want from me?
You chain my hands, won’t let me free,
This shit you’re preaching is hardly reaching,
My eyes are open, but I can’t see,
What the hell did you do to me?
You’ve fucked me up royally,
You strapped me down to fix me up,
The shit you’ve done has got me stuck,
Your mind is warped, denying logic,
And all that’s left to do is watch it,
Watch it with the eyes you’ve blinded,
You expect no less,
Ignorantly closed-minded.

A mistake

It was a mistake,
A lack of thought,
But now I’m thinking,
I’m thinking it’s not worth it,
I know it’s not worth hurting you,
But it feels like the deepest cut,
When it’s only a surface wound,
And it feels like I’m back where I started,
Knowing it all and playing stupid,
Just like I did then,
And just like I said I wouldn’t,
I can’t take another tear,
Not even one for the road,
Because I don’t have space on this road,
For that extra ounce of pity,
And I don’t have the while in my future,
For this recurring self-loathing,
Or any intentions of allowing this to extirpate the light.


Human Nature
It seems human nature has once again gotten the best of us,
We're paper dolls in a world hazed with perception,
When reality and common sense can no longer be true,
That's when the emptiness sets in,
When everything means nothing and we're prisoners of ourselves,
Trying to escape human nature, are we?
Well, there's a place for people like this,
Just don't allow your mind to become too discursive,
One who doubts these lies is not well, not well at all,
Hierarchy is up by 10 points and we're behind 18,
And understanding means nothing if there's no truth to it,
Don't let yourself think too hard about your insignificance,
You'll be just as insignificant as you started,
And a little touched, at that,
Because independence is not a virtue,
Believe and you will receive,
Doubt and you'll be exiled,
Subconscious molding, but don't think about it, you're no independent.

- Yeah, I wrote the first three when I was 16. I was a little angry then. Lol. The third one was about my mom, though. Yikes, right? I remember the exact feelings I had then, when I read this. Damn, I'm glad I'm all grown up now (and going to be 21 in a week, woooot!). The last two I wrote a few years ago. I just read them for the first time in a long time and decided they were kind of interesting.

Sorry, there's a lot here!

__________________
INSANITY IS THE FIRST SIGN OF INSANITY!!!

Hehe, thank you!! I'm glad that you read through and commented on all of them. That makes me happppy! I see what you mean about "A Mistake", maybe I'll mess with it sometime...or maybe not. I dunno. I'm glad you related so well to them!! That's awesome.

You need to post more songs soon!!! I miss reading them!

Peaceeee

Damn, she beat me this time, and she stole my thoughts too. Oh well, great minds think alike. I don't actually have to say anything do I? considering the fact that it's already been said. Um, yeah, these are good, I'm trying to think of things Esuna hasn't said, damn her and her extensively long post.

Denial is my favourite, it's got a strange sense of something which makes it really interesting, but I cant quite work out what that something is. Human Nature is another one I really liked, very interesting, and it sounds like one of the many things me and my friends debate about on a regular basis.

__________________
This is my life! And there is nothing you can do about it!
To think that life is enough, is to be killed by your own existence.