frozenpoetry

I just started thinking "why cant I when they can" and "why the hell not" so here goes, without further adue,and for all of you to see: my own "frozen poetry"......


Frozen poetry


The Woodnymph are playing her fiddle
To that little robin listening
It spreads its wings and fly to the top of an old oak
Singing the tune of wich the fairy wrote
She is kissing the ground softly with her bare toes
As she walks through the forest thaught to speak
Enchanting it as she breathe
Its a chenery so beautiful that it woulod belong in a dream
But the fiddle are crying singing sad songs of damnation

they gave her this passionate heart
and trew away the key
shes been searching for the one
who can save her from this internal cage
but still shes left here lonely
forever writing frozen poetry
that only the birds and trees will get to see

its her time for farewell
shes dying, feeling her spirith turn to butterflies
with wings softer than velvet and voices of their own
watching them smiling she knows
she can call of the search and finally og to rest
never more feeling forlorn
and now thousand of miracles are playing before her eyes
soon she disappear from the form the eyes can see
forever sleeping in this forest of dreams
the only one shes ever loved

they gave her this passionate heart
and trew away the key
shes been searching for the one
who can save her from this internal cage
but still shes left here lonely
forever writing frozen poetry
that only the birds and trees will get to see


her playful laughter will never follow the little rivers or chase the winds again
never will she write another frozen poetry or feel the fiddle strings
she will not even in the vapor covered gras as the sun wakes up
or sing in the rain `til the heavens tears stops to fall

they gave her this passionate heart
and trew away the key
shes been searching for the one
who can save her from this internal cage
but still shes left here lonely
forever writing frozen poetry
that only the birds and trees will get to see….


like an old culture she is forgotten
rarely to be remebered from time to time
as a fiddle are played and a frozen poetry read …..






not exactly my darkest text, but ill return with that one later, i promise....

-*DiZZY*-

I noticed a few things you can improve on. when your piece first started it seemed to have a structure, but by the end of the first section your pattern had vanished. I also think that you have a too "direct" approach. you convey the story too straight forward. add a little creativity. instead of saying lines like "It spreads its wings and fly to the top of an old oak" or "Its a chenery so beautiful that it woulod belong in a dream" say something like "Canary cut from rubies, lucid if only life like" (that's not the best suggestion, just an example)

Blitzkrieg

I liked it. Not normally my cup of tea, but it was good. (Grammatical and spelling errors aside, Im critisising there as Im useless myself) I thought, as prieviously stated, your rhythem was inconsistent, but the imagery was still conveyd strongly, mainly carried by the "direct approach", which I personally liked.

sweetwater

i liked the imagery you used...but dizzy is right with what she said...but all in all, a good piece.

frozenpoetry

thank you all
i like constructive critisism, so keep it coming
but i must admit, i didnt understand exactly what you meant, dizzie, but ok

when it comes to the spelling errors....
im sorry, but im trying to write what would suite the most in the lines, ans sometimes that aren politicaly correct when it comes to spelling....

a little bit about the..... i dont know what i should call it, really....
but im telling a story, thats what the direct approach are about... i usually dont write so direct, so it is a bit weird maybe... oh well

anyway... i promised you more, so here goes:



FALLING TEARS (I LINGER HERE)


I LINGER HERE
RESTING MY HEAD
ON THE COLD EARTH
THE SNOWFLAKES FALLING
CREATE TEARS AS THEY MELT
OH, IF ONLY I COULD BE ONE OF THEM
OH, IF ONLY I COULD BE NO ONE LIKE
EVERYBODY THINKS
SLOWLY DISAPEARING
MY FADING LIFE

I LINGER HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
ALL ALONE IN THE DARK
YOU LEFT ME HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
AFTER BREAKING ALL MY DREAMS

I LINGER HERE
NOW IM BLEEDING
IN THE SNOW
MY BODY`S TURNING COLD
OH, IF THERE COULD ONLY BE A WAY OUT
OH, IF THERE COULD ONLY BE SOMEPLACE TO RUN
BUT NO ONE HAVE EVER REALLY KNOWN ME
AND IVE NEVER BELONGED ANYHERE

I LINGER HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
ALL ALONE IN THE DARK
YOU LEFT ME HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
AFTER BREAKING ALL MY DREAMS

THE DARKNESS IN ME
IM DYING WITHIN
THE DARK IN YOU
STILL SHINING THROUGH
YOU TOOK AWAY
ALL THAT I HAD
NOW THERES NO MORE LIFE

I LINGER HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
ALL ALONE IN THE DARK
YOU LEFT ME HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
AFTER BREAKING ALL MY DREAMS

I LINGER HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
ALL ALONE IN THE DARK
YOU LEFT ME HERE
WITH MY FALLING TEARS
AFTER BREAKING ALL MY DREAMS
NOW THERES NO MORE LIFE

OH, IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE WHAT WAS LIVING IN ME
OH, IF ONLY I COULD BREATHE AGAIN
NOW THERES NO MORE LIFE
IM FADING TO NOTHINGNESS…







BLOODRED DESERT

FRAMES NAILED TO EVERY DYING
TREE
PICTURES OF THEM SHOW PEOPLE
IVE SEEN
I REMEMBER YOU
SHARING THE SAME BLEEDING
SKIES IN THE SUNSET
NOW THE WIND ARE BREATHING
WHISTLING
MY NAME THROUGH THE
CRIMSON CLOUDS
IT IS LIKE
I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE
CARRIED TO ME ON ANGELWINGS

BUT WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
IT TURNS SO COLD
STILL IVE NEVER SEEN
THE STARS SO CLEAR
THE BLEEDING DRAGONHEART
IN ME
KNOWS TO WELL
THIS WILL BE A LONG NIGHT
LASTING ETERNALY

SHARDS OF GLAS BENEATH
ME
MAKES THE GRAINS OF SAND
BLOODRED
AS THEY CARESS MY TOES
WITHOUT SOFT TOUCHES
I SEE THE BLOODDROPS IN THE SAND
PAINT PICTURES BEFORE ME
TELLING STORIES OF SACRIFICE
LETTING YOU GO
REMAINS THE HARDEST THING
I EVER DID

SO WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
IT TURNS SO COLD
STILL IVE NEVER SEEN
THE STARS SO CLEAR
THE BLEEDING DRAGONHEART
IN ME
KNOWS TO WELL
THIS WILL BE A LONG NIGHT
LASTING ETERNALY

WILD HEARTRED
ROSES
SO BEAUTIFULL IN THE
MOONLIGHT
PETALS ALMOST TURNING
BLACK
THE THORNS RIPPING MY SKIN
APART
NEVER MORE TO SEE DAYLIGHT

`CAUSE WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
IT TURNS SO COLD
STILL IVE NEVER SEEN
THE STARS SO CLEAR
THE BLEEDING DRAGONHEART
IN ME
KNOWS TO WELL
THIS WILL BE A LONG NIGHT
LASTING ETERNALY

OH, WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
IT TURNS SO COLD
STILL IVE NEVER SEEN
THE STARS SO CLEAR
THE BLEEDING DRAGONHEART
IN ME
KNOWS TO WELL
THIS WILL BE A LONG NIGHT
LASTING ETERNALY

SHARDS OF GLAS
I TURN SO COLD
STILL IVE NEVER SEEN THE STARS
SO CLEARLY
THORNS RIPPING MY HEART
TO BLEED
THEN I WAKE
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIGHTMARE
WE CALL IT LIFE....

frozenpoetry

the stuff im posting here....
so here comes more.....




In the halls of night.

Now you scratch the walls
With your bleeding fingertips
Crying for something that is not this real
You have fought for so long
Yet you always return
You don’t remember how it was like
Living in the real world
After you created your own

You still linger here
In the halls of night
With a fools hope
For a better life
But you perish
Underneath the weight of doubt
There’s to much self loathe in you
To save yourself

So once again you are trapped here
Between these walls
In this square-shaped box
With no doors for you to exodus through
And you bleed
Just to know that you’re alive

You still linger here
In the halls of night
With a fools hope
For a better life
But you perish
Underneath the weight of doubt
There’s to much self loathe in you
To save yourself

Like a dying devil
This horrid world still whispers to you
Deceiving, lying and pleading
So that you will believe it again
And fall for the second time
A lost one bleeding rivers of faith
While the birds of pray are awaiting your death

You still linger here
In the halls of night
With a fools hope
For a better life
But you perish
Underneath the weight of doubt
There’s to much self loathe in you
To save yourself

You still linger here
In the halls of night
With a fools hope
For a better life
But you perish
Underneath the weight of doubt
scratching the walls
you cant find anyway out
There’s to much self loathe in you
To save yourself....






The writings on the wall.


My bitter cries
Does no longer hide
But you don`t care
You can`t hear
Like I`m not even there
Once I said
I can live with that
But now they`re here again
Deep down inside


And I watch
Captured in my own fears
As the writings on the wall
Spell truths
Unspeakle to bear
I `m so scared
So full of despair
Making me weak
There`s no more belief.

like a broken promise
the mantra goes on in my head
timeless, in my heart full of nightmares
there`s no point in running
no point in hiding
there`s no escape
they`re always there
voices whisper in my ear

And I watch
Captured in my own fears
As the writings on the wall
Spell truths
Unspeakle to bear
I `m so scared
So full of despair
Making me weak
There`s no more belief.

all those screams in
the dreadful nights
all those shadows
that hunt my by day
I can`t get away
You turn and make
A double take
You can`t believe
that this ain`t fake
you never knew me
anyway

And I watch
Captured in my own fears
As the writings on the wall
Spell truths
Unspeakle to bear
I `m so scared
So full of despair
Making me weak
There`s no more belief.

my heart is frozen
like a winters night
there is no dawn
this is no paradise
where is the dream
I once could run to
When I needed
To shut the real world
Out of my soul

And I watch
Captured in my own fears
As the writings on the wall
Spell truths
Unspeakle to bear
I `m so scared
So full of despair
Making me weak
There`s no more belief


Keep breathing.

I`ve been to hell and back
I guess we all now that
Im so tired but i cant brake down
I cant afford the payment this time around
If i could only find out what is wrong with me
I know there are people that suffer more
But i cant shake this feeling of
I should be thankful yet i cant find the time
I always yelled at them to leave me alone
And stop pressuring me so much that i could not hold on
But theres someone who will never leave me alone
Theres someone that always push me too far
I guess she’ll never learn

i must keep breathing
whatever comes around
i must keep breathing
whatever the days bring
i must keep breathing
theres no other way
to keep on going in this life of mine

why should i even bother
its to late for me anyway
i promised myself that i would leave it all behind
that i would suck it up and walk on silently each day
but still i havent found the answers i needed so bad
so once again im stuck here with a hang-up on my past
without any ability to move on
how long will this last
i wish i could just get over it
but it is easier said than done
i guess she`ll never learn

i must keep breathing
whatever comes around
i must keep breathing
whatever the days bring
i must keep breathing
theres no other way
to keep on going in this life of mine

i close my eyes
all i want is for this nightmare to end
i just want to be happy again
but i am left here in the dark to ruin myself
and again i fall
oh well, i probably land on my feet like i always do
it is what you expect, just tell me the truth
you`ve heard all this so many times before
now you just push me away and slam the door
to sick of me to care at all

i must keep breathing
whatever comes around
i must keep breathing
whatever the days bring
i must keep breathing
theres no other way
to keep on going in this life of mine

so i must keep breathing
whatever comes around
i must keep breathing
whatever the days bring
i must keep breathing
theres no other way
to keep on going in this life of mine

I guess shell never learn
Nomatter what I cant run away from her
One day shell leave me dead…..

sweetwater

omg...your poems are incredible...there is so much depth in them, and the way you describe your feelings using imagery and what not, is really great.

frozenpoetry

but especially those who should know what it is like to be on the other side, like a bleeding angel in a devils nest......

bare with me, because this one is one of my oldest pieces, written for about four years ago, but still..... here it goes




In the deep blue shadows….


In the deep blue shadows
Im walking by
Seeing the pain within your eyes
Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…

Youre looking into the the deep blue shadows
Not knowing where to run or who to trust
The lights all have disappeared
Standing behind you with a candle in my hand
I will run over on your command

In the deep blue shadows
Im walking by
Seeing the pain within your eyes
Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…

They`re all around you
Watching you, talking to you
Tearing you apart
Your eyes are filled with tears
Your soul are filled with fears
They still cant see whats going on
In the deep blue shadows
Where the strongest of them would fall

In the deep blue shadows
Im walking by
Seeing the pain within your eyes
Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…

I can hear the silent scream
Your krying soul keep begging: help me, please!
Get me away from here!
But i can only observe
As long as you wont admit
The hurt inside

Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…


Wheres the faith that made you whole
Wheres the pride that made you so strong
Now it all have slowly faded away
you cant see if its night or day

In the deep blue shadows
Im walking by
Seeing the pain within your eyes
Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…

In the deep blue shadows
Im walking by
Seeing the pain within your eyes
Like a bleeding angel in a devils nest
You`re a prissoner in your own fortress…

Through the darkness that builds
a wall between us
i can only pray
that you will find your way

frozenpoetry

thank you sweetwater....
sometimes i cant help myself...
often i try to make up stories, and tell them, but most of the time, like with the writings on the wall, i just write straight from my heart.....
it is weird how putting words on a paper can make your day better

but the main reason im writing here, is that i find it
helpfull to have others look on my writing with their own eyes, and to read their point of view. i try to become a better writer, but
i tend to get "blind" after a while, so i cant see the wrongs sometimes.

but honestly, if any of you could change anything in any of my texts, what, and which would that be?

frozenpoetry

another one, (like that is something new!)
this one was written for about a year ago.


Fear no more

No longer locked in a cage
No longer captured in the dark
I can finally be myself
The spirith are no longer trapped in shame
The heart are released from its chains
I speak my mind
I do things my way
Now its time
Ive got nothing to hide
After all these years
Im still alive

I can forgive
But never forget
Something in me will always
keep this bitterness
I just hope that one day
You will leave me alone
So that I can get this over with
And fear no more

Once you were all I could see
Hiding away in my fear
Somewhere in a different world
That only the two of us knows
You told me I could never escape
Nomatter how many times I ran for life
You locked me in anyway
But regardless of what you’ve done
After all these years
Im still alive

I can forgive
But never forget
Something in me will always
keep this bitterness
I just hope that one day
You will leave me alone
So that I can get this over with
And fear no more

You cost me all my tears
You ruined all those years
You’ve stolen my life
You scared my faith away
You tried to kill my hope
But it was never enough
After all you’ve put me through
Im still alive

I can forgive
But never forget
Something in me will always
keep this bitterness
I just hope that one day
You will leave me alone
So that I can get this over with
And fear no more

After all these years
Im still alive
And I fear no more

Once upon a time
I was your prisoner
In some kind of fortress
But now im free
How weird it all seem to me
You sent chills down my spine
That day I saw your true face
My worst enemy
-the one that nearly killed me
are the one I see
from time to time
as I look into my own eyes….