here's a couple poems for now

~A Life Soon Forgotten~

i never wanted to die
i never wanted to feel its ferocity
i wanted to live forever
and embrace immortality
i never wanted to lose my breath
i never wanted to hear the death song
i wanted to see forever
and find a place where i belong
i never wanted to lie on death's bed
and regret everything i did
unfinished dreams running inside my head
and remorseful tears in my eyes
and having no one by my side
made me realize
nothing in this life matters
once it comes to an end
my journey becomes shattered
a life soon forgotten....
my life morphed into a myth
nothing about me was perfect
i'm just a shadow of a brutal past
a soul that lost all track
eyes that lost their sight
and stayed awake through restless nights
a heart that lost its warmth
and never knew any comfort
hands that grew callouses
words that never were expressed
never enough oxygen in my blood
my life's song remains unsung
smiles that never came without guilt
happiness that was always killed
a spirit that decayed away
and feeling nothing but dismay
being lonely every night
everyday spent inside
now i realize
i never truly felt alive.
i never wanted to die
i only wanted my misery to end...
not my life.

~The End~

the end is coming
each day it draws closer
i constantly think about it
and unceasingly wonder
what will it be like when i die
will i see a bright light
when my body shuts down
as i breathe one last time
will my life flash before me
will i be all alone
will it all fade to black
as my existence becomes unknown
will my soul escape
and reach heaven's gates
will i be immortalized in bliss
and have a joyful fate
will i burn in hell's fires
where my soul will suffer
as i pay for my sins
one after another
i fear my demise
we only go through it once
no second chances at life
i can't change what i become
death is with us forever
i don't want to answer its call
something wonderful may happen
or maybe nothing at all.


more to come later.

Awesome 2 poems. They are both very well written. Great job with them. Keep up the great work, and I can't wait to read more.

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-Rach- ((Check out my stuff))

thank you so much for replying! here's two more:

~The Way I Was~

i've become what i used to hate,
everything i used to fear
i belong in the darkness
when i'm there my vision is clear.

i think about who i was
the little girl everyone loved
the one that smiled at strangers
she knew she could rise above.

she was fed lies and broken promises
she was always last in line
she believed everything she heard
she didn't quite understand time.

she seemed to trust everyone
reached out with open arms
spent each day in the sun
never did anyone harm.

innocent and loved to laugh
a little too caring and kind
was there when people needed her
then became the one everyone left behind.

her heart slowly became covered
in bruises and deep scars
she learned the hard way
what people really are.

stabbed in the back
then pushed aside to bleed
with no one by her side
could barely stand on her feet.

deep down she hated herself
always hated her name
hated her reflection
hated her emotional pain.

i'm not that sweet girl anymore
you killed her with your hateful ways
she bled constantly for years
then slowly morphed into this disgrace.

rejection has left me
broken and alone
now everyone hates me
i know i'll die unknown.

i can't be that girl
that everyone adored
i can't just go back
to what i was before.

you want the old me to return
but all you'll get is disdain
that little girl is gone and dead
you'll never get her back again.


(this is a song of mine...) :

~Black Roses~

behind my smile rests a lie
one of many i hide
resting behind all my lies is a worse fate
i can't grasp it now.

falling from my eye is a tear
i hope the rest won't appear
pushing behind my remorse i watch the rain
as i'm drawn into the shadows...

black roses fall at my feet
with a touch of death on their thorns
i can't go on consuming this poison
but it's impossible to avoid them.

your cold eyes stare so blankly
tell me what you see
leaving behind your disgrace i walk away
just let me feel alive.

darkness is beautiful
hiding in my false hopes i'm alone
despair is beautiful
black roses will never die in my soul
...i'm bleeding internally...
i've pricked my finger on a thousand thorns
so many times before.

well, um...here's another song:

~Alone~

the rain is accompanying my despair
as my eyes shed their final tears
the light dissolves in this dismal room
and surrenders as the darkness consumes
i can't hurt myself anymore
soon this storm will be over.

now i can breathe
though you're still in my mind
but i can't see
why you left me behind
i'll try to sleep
as i wonder what all this means
while lost memories
evade my faded dreams.

my heart is healing with my self-inflictions
though you caused these deep incisions
my soul is still broken and cold
i couldn't help it, i lost control
i don't want you to hurt me anymore
i want my thoughts of you to be over.

today felt like the end of the world for me
as you walked away
but now i'm on my own and i feel relieved
despite the hurt that remains
i'm here alone
just like before.

Awesome job with those two pieces as well. I really liked The Way I Was. You worded everything great, and the flow of it was just awesome. Keep it up!

__________________
-Rach- ((Check out my stuff))

I loved Black Roses, i think that is the best one. I thought the first two where very similar, and found my self getting bored while reading on as i found they were going no where, but very emotional which is good. They were still good though don't get me wrong, and i love your wording very much.

You have so much potential, some of the lines in your poems/lyrics are just wow, like; Keep writing and you will find you will find ways in expressing yourself better, and a good way is to read other people's work, you learn alot by doing that. keep posting.

<3

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thank u! im sorry about those first two...i didn't realize that they were so similar---i guess cuz i wrote 'em and all my poems have all different meanings to me. i'll look at my others more carefully next time and try not to post the same subjects so close together. i seem to recycle some similar subjects when i write (death, depression, isolation, etc...) , but now i feel inspired to write some different poetry

lol don't be sorry.
I was like that too and sometimes still am. Its hard to find something different especially when you can write so much on one subject. But then some one made me realise that i was writting alot of stuff the same and so i saw other things and took insperation from other aspects. It fun to explore the extent of human emotions.
good luck and i can't wait to read more from you.

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wow...i haven't posted on here in forever. i haven't really completed anything new lately, so here's two old songs:

~Rainstorm~

black clouds hang over my head
soon the sky will cry
i wait for the storm to come
i know it will in time
i hear it coming
crashing in the distance
am i safe from it...

it's screaming
thrashing in the sky
i watch in wonder
it's lifting everything in its path
as i call out to the thunder
nothing will stop it now.

the world was quiet until it came
its presence is known
the sky's tears are falling again
its fury has grown
i feel its power
burning in the distance
am i safe from it...

every flashing light
illuminates the sky
one second at a time
i wanna feel the rain
and see it fall
embrace its beauty
each drop in my palm
am i safe from the storm...

~Can't Close My Eyes~

lying softly on my bed
falling asleep is what i dread
knowing i'll see you in my dreams
why do i hear you whispering to me
the breath i need to survive
leaves me with a sigh
i can't close my eyes.

humming to myself the songs
and melodies we knew so long
hoping that i don't drift asleep
i don't want to feel you here with me
in my mind i hear your cries
it feels like you're alive
i can't close my eyes.

i'm aware i'm meant to be alone
soon i know i must let you go
unconciousness is a mistake
my last wish is to see your face
concealed from your light
though i cannot hide
i can't close my eyes.