My Time in Hell - EvBoard

Graham · 09-04-2006, 11:19 AM

I'm working on a game called Slay with some very lovelly people, and we decided we needed a theme song, so here it is. I've written everything here but performed none of it, and if anybody around here (prefereably female) has a good singing voice and wouldn't mind sparing a few minutes of their time, please get in touch with me.

Anyway, here we go:

Quote:

My Time in Hell
Written by Graham Armstrong
Don't nick it you thieving gits!

=====================================

Fallen soldier,
Brave young man
Why must you do,
What you can,
Eternal rest,
For your soul,
Even though,
Death is your goal,

Deep in the forest,
When it's late at night,
The enemy's coming,
It's time to fight!

This is my chapter,
My time in hell,
I got shot,
And there I fell,
Called down,
By spirits below,
I've got to kill,
Or I can't go.

Runaway fighter,
Where will you hide,
They're gona kill you,
For he who died,
You threw the first stone,
They'll throw the last,
And when they find you,
Your time shall pass,

You have betrayed them,
With your dark lie,
The enemy's coming,
Quick or you'll die!

This is my chapter,
My time in hell,
I killed their king,
And ran from them,
Excecuted,
My head fell down,
But my soul,
Went underground.

Running,
And Falling,
My Ancestors,
Calling,
They know what I have to do,
Fighting,
And lying,
These people,
Are dying,
I must fight to survive.

This is my chapter,
My time in hell,
I vowed that I shall kill,
And death rang my bell,
As the sword hit me,
I fell to the floor,
My body gave up,
And I could take no more

This is my chapter,
My time in hell,
The guard pulled the trigger,
"For here is his knell",
This is the last story,
I'll ever tell,
So please don't forget,
That you can die in hell.

Apryl · 09-04-2006, 08:00 PM

Just to let you know, you posted the same thread twice, so you should delete one of them. <3

Graham · 09-05-2006, 05:55 PM

Yeah, was a slight hic. I think one of the mods took care of it.

So anyway, what do you think?

Graham · 09-05-2006, 06:03 PM

I think this is being slow with posts, I swore I replied to this thread!

Slight hic with the threads, what I think is happening here...

Anyway, what do you think?

Apryl · 09-06-2006, 03:08 AM

Not really my style. I found it too simplistic for my tastes. Also I'm assuming it's about War, which I find should be written about in memory, not with brutal violence like you have depicted.

Also, you spelt executed wrong.

Graham · 09-06-2006, 03:14 PM

If it's not your style then why tell me what I need to do to it? And it's made for a violent video game, it's suposed to be about brutal violence!

Apryl · 09-06-2006, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graham

If it's not your style then why tell me what I need to do to it? And it's made for a violent video game, it's suposed to be about brutal violence!

Um, you asked me what I thought:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graham

So anyway, what do you think?

...and so I told you what I thought:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apryl

Not really my style. I found it too simplistic for my tastes. Also I'm assuming it's about War, which I find should be written about in memory, not with brutal violence like you have depicted.

Also, you spelt executed wrong.

Not once did I said anything that you "need to do to it."
...Unless you count the spelling error, but anyone would tell you that.

Graham · 09-06-2006, 07:20 PM

Ok ok ok! It's just not something I could change I was expenting people to tell me things that could make it better.

Apryl · 09-06-2006, 08:03 PM

You said you want to make it a song. What genre are you thinking it will be?

orgo · 09-06-2006, 08:03 PM

Accept critiques in the spirit that they are given.

Any good artist knows how to seperate critiques on their work from personal opinions.

09-04-2006, 08:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Apryl FROGS FTW Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Edmonton, AB. Age: 21 Posts: 3,210 Points: 756.91 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 756.92 Donate	Just to let you know, you posted the same thread twice, so you should delete one of them. <3 __________________ ...i can't breathe...

09-06-2006, 03:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Apryl FROGS FTW Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Edmonton, AB. Age: 21 Posts: 3,210 Points: 756.91 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 756.92 Donate	Not really my style. I found it too simplistic for my tastes. Also I'm assuming it's about War, which I find should be written about in memory, not with brutal violence like you have depicted. Also, you spelt executed wrong. __________________ ...i can't breathe...

09-06-2006, 08:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
Apryl FROGS FTW Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Edmonton, AB. Age: 21 Posts: 3,210 Points: 756.91 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 756.92 Donate	You said you want to make it a song. What genre are you thinking it will be? __________________ ...i can't breathe...

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09-05-2006, 05:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
Graham n00blet Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North East England Age: 17 Posts: 10 Points: 196.93 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 196.93 Donate	Yeah, was a slight hic. I think one of the mods took care of it. So anyway, what do you think?

09-05-2006, 06:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
Graham n00blet Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North East England Age: 17 Posts: 10 Points: 196.93 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 196.93 Donate	I think this is being slow with posts, I swore I replied to this thread! Slight hic with the threads, what I think is happening here... Anyway, what do you think?

09-06-2006, 03:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
Graham n00blet Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North East England Age: 17 Posts: 10 Points: 196.93 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 196.93 Donate	If it's not your style then why tell me what I need to do to it? And it's made for a violent video game, it's suposed to be about brutal violence!

09-06-2006, 07:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
Graham n00blet Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North East England Age: 17 Posts: 10 Points: 196.93 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 196.93 Donate	Ok ok ok! It's just not something I could change I was expenting people to tell me things that could make it better.

09-06-2006, 08:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
orgo Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 692 Points: 3,353.78 Bank: 27,971.01 Total Points: 31,324.79 Donate	Accept critiques in the spirit that they are given. Any good artist knows how to seperate critiques on their work from personal opinions.

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