My writings - EvBoard

roflmaowl · 05-22-2006, 04:07 AM

Hello fellow writers and Ev fans! I'd figure I'd post a work in progress of mine before I turned in for the night. Lately I've been trying to write poems that I could potentially turn into a song for its inclusion for a play I've been writing. The current working title is Unrequited in Effect (though I have Everything's Evident, It's Nothing Taken and Coffined Hearts as potential alternatives at the moment). It's somewhat complicated to explain the play, but I'll say that it's based on actual events in my life over the past couple of years. To start things off, I'll post the first one (I'll post the other two candidates at a later time); let me know what you all think:

Postmortem Memorium

Need
Need

Oh
We're fine
Oh

I would shun lies, us far from me
Soft nill walk and why won't I
Why can't you, won't I, won't I
Lose life where love is shot
And I shouldn't ruin myself
My memories, my memory

Here inside hear your stupid lie
Wherein my shift, I wash off my heart
Myself

Withheld in the orderly theft
My civils, my memories, my memory
More memory, more hurting me
Worth my heart, kill mine with words
Worth that, worth what?

You go on first

If I had more likely gone back
I shouldn't much less sever that
My memories, my memory
Yet all that's sad, that stupid lie
We shouldn't lie with lives
In my worth over my heart
Harden up, hearten up

My soul was lending arms on up
You crash memory, my soul, now you see

There isn't more so I move on decision
And the girl, I was in love, so love hurt

With that the nerves were shot
My shivering was silly was not
My memories, my memory
Was it worth me including me not
Was good only when hurt not
Hurt that, hurt me

Worth that - it's otherworldly daft
I shouldn't wouldn't want to settle
That's my memory, my exact memory

Be exact, be precisionly with memories
Implant what, horror gone, horror gone

Shivercide · 05-22-2006, 02:10 PM

What originality! I've never seen a poem written quite like this - ever. And I love uniqueness. :)

The rhythm you have going is wonderful to the ears; in a way the sound (plus the eerie aura I feel while reading it) reminds me of some of Edgar Allen Poe's works, but it's also far different. I also love the repetition, and the words in certain lines that almost rhyme, but really don't.

All together, it makes for a nice new sound that (as I've mentioned above) I've never quite seen in poetry. And I like it a lot.

So, yeah. I'd really like to see more of your writings!

roflmaowl · 05-23-2006, 03:53 AM

Hello again, everyone!

As in my previous post, here's yet another candidate for my play.

Enjoy!

Healinguistics

Heal
Heal
Heal

There's nothing left

Oh,
Heal, heal, heal, heal

This is me, here I am
From all of us
Here - kill, it's awful
Here - kill its offal*
Here - there's no room for matter
Here - is my life switch

My friends roam over
My God's hand broken
Here - is my mirror looking
Here - are my full ends

Heal, heal, heal, heal

Awkward, fallen, sober
Ends in a hangover
Here - time is old
Here - is to remembrance
Here - is my horrendoddity
Here - endless fears

I fought horrendously
I come in the sleep
There's no end left
Where's your sleepless
Where's my defender
Where's my end left

Heal, heal, heal, heal
Heal, heal, heal, heal

* I'm not exactly sure about this line; I may change it to "Here - it's had its fill" or something like that; any suggestions would be much appreciated!

roflmaowl · 05-28-2006, 05:37 AM

Hello again, everyone! I have yet another poem/potential song for all of you. This is the one I'm actually most proud of, out of the three. Enjoy!

PS: For anyone who leaves reputation points (yes, good or bad), do leave your username so I could further utilize your critiques. That and to get to know you better!

From Her to Here

Her
More pain - hurt you once, you terrible fiend from icy world
Fallen sick, the hurt hand got right into one of my eyes
Once very stained and interesting, the water fell

Alone, alone, alone, we've gotten along alone
We're done bearing the weighted world of me

Hurt by lone thief did more harm
If it's here for house, more love than one life
It's here to deal in endless laughter
My will is dashed, my head's been smashed

Love avoidant in hope with her
With more to feel her words than in my lonely, longest day
Doesn't matter to nevermore, there is never enough
There isn't anymore - no there is now, there is enough
There isn't anymore, all the same...more...more...more
The Earth said: "Tender, tight...say hello to theft
She's so swift, she's so smooth, her way would sooner show
I considered the flows and the other she-nuance"
She arrives nimble - torn it all, the rest was wrecked
Her eyes sum an exposé - more sway, more for nothing
What a rush, what more of a way to ruin myself
Love ain't worn out - I sure got more there to share
I wander and I walk all the way to relive and relish
My world, my emotion, my world, my emotion
Establish my end

roflmaowl · 05-28-2006, 06:36 AM

Almost a week overdue on the response, but thank you so much!

As you can tell, I've already posted the other two candidates.

Don't worry; I have a few more things to post aside from those! Just you wait.

roflmaowl · 06-02-2006, 01:54 AM

As I said, I'd post some of my other stuff. This one's about my ex, mostly (as in, our relationship, past and present).

Enjoy, everyone!

Aphroditeros Pulse Beat Flux

Dark-blackened angel's feathers
Take adrift to dear flutter by;
Glitter dust fell right over me.
Justified right in, go strike me down;
For Cupid's tale, stung by tail.

Death
In life;
Not sure where beauty came from.
Life
In death;
Where did you go, I would not know.
Death, in life; life, in death--
My pulse beat flux, what did you do?
Happened what and got no clue.
Got no clue, got no clue.

Heard her call right out to me,
Not sure what it is, heard the sing;
Blood tap out, ears should ring--
It's what her soothing sound can bring.
What is it that you sing-say to me?

Death
In life;
Got to backtrack to time redone.
Life
In death;
You had me locked on first word.
Death, in life; life, in death--
What you did, I still don't know;
Now let me know and tell me then.
Tell me then, tell me then.

Dark-blackened angel's wings
Take adrift to dear flutter by;
Glitter dust fell right over me.
Justified right in, go strike me down--
In loving tale, unknown the end.
Prick your mark, unbalanced result in fell;
My pulse beat flux never been so well.

Death
In life;
Can't think back, no better time.
Life
In death;
What you've done gone made me spent.
Death, in life; life, in death--
Lover's ball, dance the night;
On your first word, had the right;
On your first word, locked me tight;
On your first word, overnight;
On your first word, take no flight;
On your first word, no need to fight;
On your first word, in the light;
On your first word, our time is right.
Our time is right, our time is right,
Our time is right, our time is right.
Our time is right.

05-22-2006, 04:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
roflmaowl Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The armpit of the Tri-State Area. Posts: 31 Points: 539.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 539.95 Donate	Hello fellow writers and Ev fans! I'd figure I'd post a work in progress of mine before I turned in for the night. Lately I've been trying to write poems that I could potentially turn into a song for its inclusion for a play I've been writing. The current working title is Unrequited in Effect (though I have Everything's Evident, It's Nothing Taken and Coffined Hearts as potential alternatives at the moment). It's somewhat complicated to explain the play, but I'll say that it's based on actual events in my life over the past couple of years. To start things off, I'll post the first one (I'll post the other two candidates at a later time); let me know what you all think: Postmortem Memorium Need Need Oh We're fine Oh I would shun lies, us far from me Soft nill walk and why won't I Why can't you, won't I, won't I Lose life where love is shot And I shouldn't ruin myself My memories, my memory Here inside hear your stupid lie Wherein my shift, I wash off my heart Myself Withheld in the orderly theft My civils, my memories, my memory More memory, more hurting me Worth my heart, kill mine with words Worth that, worth what? You go on first If I had more likely gone back I shouldn't much less sever that My memories, my memory Yet all that's sad, that stupid lie We shouldn't lie with lives In my worth over my heart Harden up, hearten up My soul was lending arms on up You crash memory, my soul, now you see There isn't more so I move on decision And the girl, I was in love, so love hurt With that the nerves were shot My shivering was silly was not My memories, my memory Was it worth me including me not Was good only when hurt not Hurt that, hurt me Worth that - it's otherworldly daft I shouldn't wouldn't want to settle That's my memory, my exact memory Be exact, be precisionly with memories Implant what, horror gone, horror gone Last edited by roflmaowl : 05-28-2006 at 06:40 AM.

05-23-2006, 03:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
roflmaowl Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The armpit of the Tri-State Area. Posts: 31 Points: 539.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 539.95 Donate	My writings Hello again, everyone! As in my previous post, here's yet another candidate for my play. Enjoy! Healinguistics Heal Heal Heal There's nothing left Oh, Heal, heal, heal, heal This is me, here I am From all of us Here - kill, it's awful Here - kill its offal* Here - there's no room for matter Here - is my life switch My friends roam over My God's hand broken Here - is my mirror looking Here - are my full ends Heal, heal, heal, heal Awkward, fallen, sober Ends in a hangover Here - time is old Here - is to remembrance Here - is my horrendoddity Here - endless fears I fought horrendously I come in the sleep There's no end left Where's your sleepless Where's my defender Where's my end left Heal, heal, heal, heal Heal, heal, heal, heal * I'm not exactly sure about this line; I may change it to "Here - it's had its fill" or something like that; any suggestions would be much appreciated! Last edited by roflmaowl : 05-27-2006 at 06:58 PM.

05-28-2006, 05:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
roflmaowl Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The armpit of the Tri-State Area. Posts: 31 Points: 539.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 539.95 Donate	New addition! Hello again, everyone! I have yet another poem/potential song for all of you. This is the one I'm actually most proud of, out of the three. Enjoy! PS: For anyone who leaves reputation points (yes, good or bad), do leave your username so I could further utilize your critiques. That and to get to know you better! From Her to Here Her More pain - hurt you once, you terrible fiend from icy world Fallen sick, the hurt hand got right into one of my eyes Once very stained and interesting, the water fell Alone, alone, alone, we've gotten along alone We're done bearing the weighted world of me Hurt by lone thief did more harm If it's here for house, more love than one life It's here to deal in endless laughter My will is dashed, my head's been smashed Love avoidant in hope with her With more to feel her words than in my lonely, longest day Doesn't matter to nevermore, there is never enough There isn't anymore - no there is now, there is enough There isn't anymore, all the same...more...more...more The Earth said: "Tender, tight...say hello to theft She's so swift, she's so smooth, her way would sooner show I considered the flows and the other she-nuance" She arrives nimble - torn it all, the rest was wrecked Her eyes sum an exposé - more sway, more for nothing What a rush, what more of a way to ruin myself Love ain't worn out - I sure got more there to share I wander and I walk all the way to relive and relish My world, my emotion, my world, my emotion Establish my end __________________ The romance a bygone limelight roulette By collective self-sacrifice invoked the refuge Last edited by roflmaowl : 05-28-2006 at 05:42 AM.

05-28-2006, 06:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
roflmaowl Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The armpit of the Tri-State Area. Posts: 31 Points: 539.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 539.95 Donate	Almost a week overdue on the response, but thank you so much! As you can tell, I've already posted the other two candidates. Don't worry; I have a few more things to post aside from those! Just you wait. __________________ The romance a bygone limelight roulette By collective self-sacrifice invoked the refuge

06-02-2006, 01:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
roflmaowl Junior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The armpit of the Tri-State Area. Posts: 31 Points: 539.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 539.95 Donate	Not play related! As I said, I'd post some of my other stuff. This one's about my ex, mostly (as in, our relationship, past and present). Enjoy, everyone! Aphroditeros Pulse Beat Flux Dark-blackened angel's feathers Take adrift to dear flutter by; Glitter dust fell right over me. Justified right in, go strike me down; For Cupid's tale, stung by tail. Death In life; Not sure where beauty came from. Life In death; Where did you go, I would not know. Death, in life; life, in death-- My pulse beat flux, what did you do? Happened what and got no clue. Got no clue, got no clue. Heard her call right out to me, Not sure what it is, heard the sing; Blood tap out, ears should ring-- It's what her soothing sound can bring. What is it that you sing-say to me? Death In life; Got to backtrack to time redone. Life In death; You had me locked on first word. Death, in life; life, in death-- What you did, I still don't know; Now let me know and tell me then. Tell me then, tell me then. Dark-blackened angel's wings Take adrift to dear flutter by; Glitter dust fell right over me. Justified right in, go strike me down-- In loving tale, unknown the end. Prick your mark, unbalanced result in fell; My pulse beat flux never been so well. Death In life; Can't think back, no better time. Life In death; What you've done gone made me spent. Death, in life; life, in death-- Lover's ball, dance the night; On your first word, had the right; On your first word, locked me tight; On your first word, overnight; On your first word, take no flight; On your first word, no need to fight; On your first word, in the light; On your first word, our time is right. Our time is right, our time is right, Our time is right, our time is right. Our time is right. __________________ The romance a bygone limelight roulette By collective self-sacrifice invoked the refuge

05-22-2006, 02:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
Shivercide . Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 3,447 Points: 6,062.91 Bank: 16,668,953.11 Total Points: 16,675,016.02 Donate	What originality! I've never seen a poem written quite like this - ever. And I love uniqueness. :) The rhythm you have going is wonderful to the ears; in a way the sound (plus the eerie aura I feel while reading it) reminds me of some of Edgar Allen Poe's works, but it's also far different. I also love the repetition, and the words in certain lines that almost rhyme, but really don't. All together, it makes for a nice new sound that (as I've mentioned above) I've never quite seen in poetry. And I like it a lot. So, yeah. I'd really like to see more of your writings!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode