Nolla

Okay...I am posting every single poem that I have ever written up until this point and I am warning you; there is a fair amount of it. Hope you like it.

























{Okay...I have no idea where this came from to be totally honest...it was just an idea that was dying to be written...it's not how I feel and so not told from my perspective...and yet...some emotion went into it, despite it not being told from my point of view. I am really quite confused about this one ^____^; which makes me a rather odd person if I'm confused by my own writings. Oh well...better to be honest than to be a liar I suppose.}

The Dreamer

I, of course, have read all of these. You know how I feel.

That one you wrote with Nathan is really...quite emotional. I can feel his desperation in the part that he wrote, and your sorrow in the part that he wrote. Very powerful stuff.

I know that I keep promising to come up with a title for that song, and I swear that I will! My mind has just been...elsewhere...lately. Sorries.

And I really love the editing that you did to "The Celestial Ones," it helps the ideas to flow more. The meaning is still there, and it's still beautiful, but the structure works better this way.

The Chronicles of the Dreamer poems are, obviously, quite special to me, and it's rather interesting/odd to see my life and emotions through someone else's eyes. I really can't wait to read more of that.

Keep up the great work.

Nolla

Yeah...Nathan sent that poem to me at first and told me to finish it. He said, "You're a Poet. Finish it for me. I can't find the words."
So that is how that turned out.

lol...it's fine. The song isn't about to walk off...you may take years if you wish to do so.

Oh good...glad that advice actually helped lol

Okies...I shall try to add another soon...it doesn't feel finished yet...*taps her chin thoughtfully*

Okies. Kiitos <3

Juliet

I'm not so great at writing poetry, but I think I can give you some constructive criticism. :]

I think you should work on the structure of your poems. Try out different rhyming patterns and stuff. It's a little hard to read and it feels choppy when the poem is written with many lines and few words in each line. You might want to try making clumps or different stanzas rather than the poem looking like a list. ;]

In, like, Snow White Queen, your description is really good; you're talented in the way of description. The Chronicles of the Dreamer are also pretty good, especially since it's not your own feelings you're writing about. Personally, what I'd like to see is some more poems that are written about yourself. Although sometimes when you feel for someone else a lot, it's easy to put yourself in their place and write about it; but when you write about your own feelings, the words have even more meaning because they're coming from your own soul. You've done a pretty good job of putting yourself in someone else's place, so now I'd like to see what you can do when you're writing how about you feel.

I think you should vary your topics a bit. Some things are harder to write about than others, but just trying new things will give you more experience which can improve your poetry. I noticed that the poems that weren't descriptive-type poems, (descriptive-type referring to "Snow White Queen" and the amaranth poem) were mostly dark, gloomy, and, to put it bluntly: depressing. Those feelings are much easier to write about because they're really powerful, but you should try to work on writing about other feelings as well. It'll help improve your poetry.

You don't have to take my advice. It was only constructive criticism, as I said. I hope I helped, even with my own lack of talent. xD

Altogether, though, your poetry isn't bad; in fact, it's pretty good. Like I said, your description is great.

By the way, what's with your thread title? It sounds like you're describing a dying bird. Lolz xD

Nolla

I don't really care how my structure goes because it is usually pretty much free thought and any with any structure at all are generally forced poems.

As for writing about myself, if you read any of the other poems above you'll see that I have written about myself. The only ones which aren't about myself are The Chronicles of the Dreamer. ALL others are about me and only me.

As for my "topics", I don't generally pick a theme and go with it. I write my feelings, as all poets should. I don't like writing sappy love poems because they are sickening to write and to read, no matter how heartfelt. In all honesty, love poems make me gag, so I don't write them. As for expressing my feelings to the one I love, I don't need to write in poem format to tell her I love her. I simply say it to her everyday so that she always knows. I don't need to write something that will make us both want to vomit to simply say something when three little words would have sufficed.

As for my thread title, my nickname, if you ever took the time to notice on MSN, was Nolla, Artemis' Angel and at another point Nolla the Angel. My blooded feathers simply means my deepest feelings. Kinda saying there that my feathers are my thoughts and feelings and my plucking them from my wings to show everyone else, they become blooded. Does it make sense now?

Juliet

"I don't wish to change my poetry structure, but thanks for the advice anyway." Would have gotten your point across just as successfully and in a less rude manner.

I didn't say you haven't. I said I'd like to see more.

Have you ever had one written about you? o.O

I have noticed, but then again, apparently I don't know you so how was I expected to interpret? Yeah, it made sense. Excuse me for wondering.

As for my comments about your use of description, well, you're welcome...(._.)

Nolla

OKay new poem I wrote for a Poetry Challenge. Was rather random and kinda crappy because it was written within the time frame of 5 mins and it was midnight so my brain was total mush lol

Arrival of the Ice Queen

Cascading waterfalls,
Frozen in motion.
Oaks of the Ancients,
Reach to the Ocean.
Lightning that crashes,
And lights up the dark.
Clashing with thunder;
A loud, frightening bark.
Delicate flecks,
Form into flakes.
The Earth giveth back,
What she takes.
Ice Queen has entered,
To walk for a while.
Glittering eyes,
And devilish smile.
Spring taps on her back,
And she's gone with a sigh.
The snow melts away,
Flakes, fade and die.
Frozen in time,
Now free to gush.
The water bursts through,
Splurts out in a rush.
Spilling down the rocks,
And back into the stream.
Weaving out to the sea,
So we can Ever Dream.

The Silent Force

Your recent prose is okay; I must be honest, though. It really isn't that original cause a lot of it contains content from Nightwish (and Within Temptation) songs. I do like the idea behind it, however.

That really isn't true. A lot of my poems are structured, but completely natural. Everyone's writing style is different, yes; but if you want to be a bit more professional (Wolfie from EvThreads is an example), developing a structure is vital. Your "poems" are more like prose, because most poetry has structure =] I learned this (and many other things) after taking many writing classes during my highschool years. Most of 'em were college level, being that they were "honors" (college level), so I am pretty sure I know what I am talking about ;D

Hm... I have an idea as to why you may not like them. Has anyone ever written one for you? I used to be the same way, generally, but after Jamie (CrownlessAgain ) wrote a few for me, I loved them to bits. Maybe, when your girl finally writes one for you, you'll see them as a bit more than annoying little pieces of writing

Btw, Jamie and I have seen your siggies on EvThreads. We've set a good example, I guess ^_^ next time, though, give credit where it is due for awesome ideas.
i am teh only "poet", yanno. Tuomas is the male poet, and I am teh female poet. Booyahz. xD

Shivercide

I would just like to say that a common structure of poetry may be metered and rhymed, but that does not define all poetry. Most of The Siren's Melody's work is written in free verse, which is a type of poetry that breaks free of the common limitations.

Prose on the other hand is more reflective of simple speech. Nothing in this thread makes me think of prose, especially the last poem (along with some others), which does use rhythm and rhyme. Prose in general doesn't rely on either. The writings in this thread are very poetic, just written in the free verse style.

BTW, it was in my college writing classes where I learned to break free of forced structure. ;)

Kirstin Carnage

CrownlessAgain wasn't trying to be mean; if you can't take constructive criticism don't post. IMO.