Nameless

The first time I was here I came across the “What this forum needs . . .” thread. Finding it quite interesting I wanted to say something, but I felt that enough had been said already. So I went off to post away.

I’ve been posting here now for about a month and a half. I’ve discovered for myself the extent of this problem. That’s why I’m going to fix it rite now.

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How to use this thread:

[Posting]

First of all, don’t even think about posting here if you’re not going to be:

1) Ready for criticism.
2) Willing to work on whatever it is that might be wrong.
3) Able to discuss it with someone civilly.
4) Rational enough not to post a bunch of stuff all at once.
5) Ready for criticism.

If you don’t feel like getting publicly beaten, or you’re going to be embarrassed, type PM next to the title when you post.

It’s probably healthier if you just take your beating . . .

[Reading/Replying]

- When not to:

1) When you’re not going to take the time to actually give it all of your attention.
2) When you don’t have more then two sentences worth of commentary.

Give some details:
What went wrong?
What didn’t?

3) When you’re going to worry about hurting someone’s feelings.
4) When you‘re not smart enough to make more than one comment, that you post on everyone’s work !!!

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There you go, problem solved . . .
If there’s something that I’ve forgotten, then we'll just have to fix it.

So who’s first?

Calli

Okay, I'll go first. -bravely-

This is something I wrote a couple of months ago called 'Daydream'. It's fairly random, but I quite like the imagery in it. Constructive comments (not mindless 'OMG U SUK') comments are appreciated more than anything. Thankyou.

into which
dreams are shattered
or made whole

and you, aquamarine
I can almost taste
singular droplets
of your nectar
and I know
you're not ready
for this world yet

cause I can
and I can do that
without you

I could fly
you know that
it's letting me free
letting me dream of you

scilenced

to calli thats really cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but what made shadow 666 make all the rules???
people should be able to post what they like no offence.

Shivercide

Calli asked to PM comments, although your one-line comment breaks the spirit of what this thread is about.

Shadow isn't making "rules", he is just basically agreeing with everything that's already been said in the "What this forum needs" thread.

You can still post what you want, but most writers in this forum don't like a million "that's cool" or "wow, that's awesome!" flooding up their threads, at least not without reasons WHY they think it's cool.

And especially for writers asking for criticism, more often than not they aren't given any. Just "Wow, that's good, I couldn't find anything to criticize!!!!"

Nameless

Well, you just answered your own question. There's only so many comments like yours that some people can take. Why post somthing you've worked on (music, poetry, photos, paintings, etc) if you don't want to know what is or isn't wrong with them? Some people want to improve themselves. You can't do a lot with the comment above. It's just not productive.

That's why I made this thread.

You don't have to post in this thread. And you can post anything that your heart desires if you choose to. But I made it this way so that if you do, you understand that people are going to have somthing to say. And you might not like it.

And no offence to you, but I think I'm going to rip my hair out if everyone ignors my three hundred and some odd words description below, and posts a bunch of shity comments in here anyway. Like the one you just left.

If you decide to post here again in the future please try to say somthing constructive. That's all that I ask.

Lirael

Actually, I do. There are some good guidelines there to create some good criticism and praise. More so the 'that's great' over and over again.

You don't have to post by these guidelines.. like Shadow666 said, you can just post in your own thread and ignore this one.

All in all, I think it's a good idea

Nameless

Well, I'm glad that we've worked all of that out. Thanks shivercide, Dragon, for your understanding. And since no-one else has posted any work yet, I'll take my turn. Hopefully more people will soon.

I picked this one because I like it a lot, and I'd like to know if there's anything I could improve. PM me, or post your comment in here. I don't care which. Just let me know what you think. It's a poem.

Calli

Here's another poem of mine; 'Ribbons and Lace'. As always, please PM comments 'cause I like getting messages. I actually really like this one, it's probably the only thing I've ever written that I like.

i'm sitting alone, for the first time in my life.
i look in the mirror and gaze back into myself.

the tiles, checkerboard,
waiting for my next move,
repeat, conform, repeat.

can't stop the pounding
in my head
and outside
can't stop the laughter
from beyond closed doors
I curl up to stop the vibration
unlike a child, my sorrow
is full-fledged.

i spy
with my little eye
the photo on the wall
(in sepia; from yesteryear)
it falls to the ground
and the glass shatters
slicing those faces
into ribbons and lace;
those lovely things
pretty girls love to wear.

my fingernails are chipped
my eyes are tired, darling
my hair is a tangled mess
my skin is imperfection

i hate it when they advertise
with those smiling, perfect people
who
(exposing their razor sharp teeth
bite into my flesh and expose my shortcomings)
tell people who can never be
that they're 'worth it'

when i was young, they used to say;
'isn't she beautiful?'
now i just have to live up to this lie.

sweetwater

very beautiful piece calli...relate to the self-esteem issues you are talking about...society and the media have quite a lot to answer for i think...

Whispered_Lies

Oooh, just what I need, a hard critic, lol.


Splintered Light


Slaying splintered light,
The dark creature’s glare,
My cavalry has evaporated,
Will anyone be there?

Light and dark interbred,
I see you clearly now,
I remember all the words you said,
Splintered light, shattered mirror.

A fatal splinter of light,
Piercing my darkness,
Far too long I’ve been gone…

Its so bright I can’t see,
Light killing me,
But saving somehow.

You’re my salvation,
The darkness damnation,
The key to my power now.

A fatal splinter of light,
Piercing my darkness,
Far too long I’ve been gone…

Rethink until the pyre,
Rethink until the pyre,
Rethink until the pyre…

A fatal splinter of light,
Piercing my darkness,
Far too long I’ve been gone…