OKay today in english and social studies I got really bored. so heres some songs/poems I wrote....


You
I've been trying for so long,
To get away from you.
But I find meself coming back.

Why don't I stay away?
why can't I find freedom?
Why is it so hard to stay away from you?

Im running so far,
And getting nowhere,
This is to hard,
I have to fight but,
I love you to much.

Why don't I stay away?
why can't I find freedom?
Why is it so hard to stay away from you?


~Mistake~
Isn't "I love you" enough?
Why I'm still with you,
I dont know
All I can see and feel
Is pain and suffering.

Taking a look back at everything I've
done, I realize my mistake
And that was you!!

I hate what I've become because of you
You will not bind me anymore.
Taking a look back a teverything I've
done, I realize my mistake
and that was you!

post whatever you feel like. good, bad, in between, whatever

Those are awesome!!!
If you write more, I'd love to read them!!

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Doughnut Sprinkle Snorting=cool

Wow. These were great!!!!

It is amazing what one can do when they are bored!

Keep it up!! if you have more, post them!! These rock!!

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"Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces"

thank you guys!!!!! Ive got a lot more again I was bored.

Waiting.
I've been waiting for so long,
to see your face again.
I've been trapped inside
my mind to long.
I need to find you.

Through all the lies
I have to see the light,
my salvation!!

How have I been able to go on without you?
Why was I so blind to let you go?
Why did they take you to a place I can't follow?


Every breath.
Every breath I take is painful,
But when I see you eyes
I know I'll be all right

Ooo you make me strong,
through my dying days!

When im weak your there
for me. I love you.
Every breath is easier,
When your sparkling blue eyes,
come into view.

Ooo you make me strong
through my dying days.
Ooo Ooo yeah yeah
you make me strong
through my dying days.

You know, you write osmly when you are bored!

Keep it up!!!

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"Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces"

wow thank you guys sooo much!! i showed these to my sis and shes was like these are kinda sappy. so I'm glad you like them though!! okay heres some more. I just thought of these about 10 minutes ago so enjoy!!

Enough.
Why do you expect so much of me?
I try my hardest and thats not enough!

Why is it so hard for me to do the
right things to please you?
Why do you keep beating me down?
Killing me

I try my hardest and thats not
enough for you.
Now you can finally go on without me.

Losing my Mind.
I'm losing my mind,
I need to escape,
I need to get away from you,
from me, from everything!

You ask to much of me,
Expecting me to do everything.

Lost in this world,
Without anyway to leave.

You ask to much of me,
Expecting me to do everything.

I'm forced to take the only way out.

okay heres a new one.

Everything.
When your gone I cannot breath,
I need you to live,
You're every thing I need.

Everything I do is for you, only you.
I can't live without you,
I'm lost in this world alone.

I need to see the light,
But you're everythingto me,
My love.

Everything I do is for you, only you.
I can't live without you,
Im lost in this world alone.

I love your writing... and all of the themes that you have. I will say something that helps ALL poetry be so much better.

Poetry is about knowing a certain thing and describing it. It is all about describing with things like metaphors and other related things. So... your poetry would be bullet proof if you added metaphors and examples to them. Poetry is more than stating something, ya know?

So... try this...

For instance in your first poem you have...
Everything I do
is for you. Only you.
I cant live without you
I'm lost in this world
Alone.

Add metaphors and imagery... something like this...
Everything I do
is for you. Only you,
a perfected being.
I cant live without you
I'm lost in this world
Alone, a tear surrounded
by numberous smiles.

Don't use those, obviously... because they aren't good; you can do soo much better than mine, but do things such as that, because you poems are honestly great.

I sound like a horrible critic... I am sorry. I really LOVE your poetry... your emotions are strong, however, it is important for a person to not get a strong emotion confused with strong poetry. If you can combine both of them, which you can... that is perfection right there. So... I hope I don't sound like a know it all. I just really like your poetry, and I want to know if you will continue with it. Cause... if you are... I want to see you be awesome... ya know? Well... keep writing... buh bye.

Oh wow thank you sooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me and my cousin just read that and I've wanted to improve but I just didnt really know how!!! Thank sooooooo much!!!!!!!!!! and no I dont think thats a cruddy example I think its wonderful really!! Now I can add sooo much to my writing and improve my old ones. I have a lot but I didnt think that they were good enough. now I know what I do to improve all of them!! Again thank you soo much

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