|08-31-2005, 08:44 PM||Poetry Post #1|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Total Points: 102.00
Is there anybody here that likes writing poetry. I love to. I write like all the time. Besides writing and playing music for guitar and piano, it's basically my favorite thing.
As I lay here weighted down
By all these feelings inside
I realize that my past conversation was true
there's nowhere I can hide
This conversation was scary to me
Telling somebody how much of an angry person I am
why can't you understand I'm hurting?
all this time I learned your frienship is a scam
Hi! I would love for you
to shove my words in my face
please forgive my attitude
you'd be pissed too if you've fallen from grace
Maybe something is wrong with me
maybe I say things with so much haste
maybe I don't even care!
so let me go to waste
It's funny how much you care about someone
you thought would help to
put the pieces of your life back together
but you were like everyone else....fuck you
Back to what I said about hiding
it won't get you anywhere
backstabbers are all over
feeding on your dispear
There are some people who say
people are a lie
that they want to pull you in
and shame you untill you die
So here's to life in a funny way
the way it makes me sick
makes you feel like you've drank sour milk
Oh what a clever trick
And here's for myself
half beaten and battered
and here's for the serious
when everything matters
so let me lay in my confusion
so that I keep my self numb
so I can't see your face
or the things that you've done
I can't believe this happend again
maybe I bring it on myself
maybe you're a waste of time
so I take your picture off my shelf
It's all a bad memory
or maybe just a dream
I don't care anyways
it's more than it should seem.
Thats probably my favorite one.
Last edited by Lauren : 08-31-2005 at 09:03 PM
|08-31-2005, 09:33 PM||Poetry Post #2|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Total Points: 457.27
You have a pretty good start here...one thing I would suggest is going into more detail about this conversation you mentioned in the beginning of the poem. You mention it a couple times, but the reader doesn't really know what it was about or what significance it has, so it's kind of confusing. Also, I think shortening this would make it more powerful. I'd like to read some more of your work!
And to answer your question...I love to write poetry as well. And I would say lots of other people here do, because there's hundreds of poetry threads
|08-31-2005, 11:46 PM||Poetry Post #3|
Fledgling Post Monkey
Join Date: Jan 2005
Total Points: 470.00
That's very different from what other poetry I've read. I think it was a little confusing at parts. I think that you should add some more detail, and maybe re-word some of the lines that you have.
I hope you post more stuff soon, I would like to read it.
Oh, I also like to write poetry and stuff.
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