Punish Me . . . - Page 10 - EvBoard

axeslinger0u812 · 08-05-2004, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nameless

To whom this may concern:
------------------------------------------------------------

My entire life I’ve felt, like I’ve existed,
On a separate plane of reality.
Every thing, and every one,
Was moving on,
And carrying on...

But I’ve been standing still.
..

lol

I was expecting it to go TOTALLY different from here. I couldn't have been coughht off guard more. I hate predictable things too, and this was great. The first verse, i quoted above, is so awesome. And then it snoballed into this world, where i was lost. I felt like I didn't know what you were going to say next. Genius. like, shyamalan genius.

Nameless · 08-05-2004, 03:24 AM

Sweet! Does that mean I get my own link in your signature too?
lol

No, really though, thanks...
That poem actually started as a letter to no-one...

That's probably why it changed so much throughout, and ended the way it did...

I don't see dead people...

Not unless I go outside...

axeslinger0u812 · 08-05-2004, 03:38 AM

wow...even that last two lines of that post was cool as hell. yeah...i think you get a link in my sig

Nameless · 08-05-2004, 01:39 PM

Hey wow, I was just joking but thanks.

Free advertisement!

I'm going to be leaving town for a few weeks on saturday. I've got to go to Louisiana to write a story for work, so at least I don't have to pay for it. It's possible that I could get back before that, but my deadline is in two weeks. I'll probably post something later tonight, then after that it might be awhile. I just wanted to let everyone know.

Oh, and to those of you who PM me instead of posting comments, go ahead and do that for these last couple. I'll reply as soon as I can.

Thanks again for reading, all of you...

Nameless · 08-06-2004, 01:03 AM

Psychosis
__________________________________________________

Another time around the bend;
Maybe things will turn out differently.
I’m staring at my own reflection,
And it’s grinning back at me...
...

Ripping out my hair, and unaware.
My thoughts are gathering again.

Traveling the road,
Of lost souls...
...

This will never end.

***

I know it’s dumb, but I can’t help it.
I’m regressing, I can feel it...
There’s no outlet for this madness.
It’s finally creeping back behind me now.

And,
Somehow, I sustain it.

But I can’t maintain my cool composure.
...
And as I hear it,
Ripping.
...
Time is nothing;
I’m still slipping...
And I can’t contain it.
(shit)
I can’t arrange it!
(But it’s so warm and comforting)

It’s finally killing,
What’s inside me now...

***
Even though you can see me,
You don’t really know me...
...
I’m so abhorrent...
***

Drooling on myself.
And disgusted with myself...
My mind is fogging,
(Without end)

Traveling the road,
Of lost souls...
...

Just to see it again.

SangReal · 08-06-2004, 12:56 PM

I couldn't really pick a part of it that impressed me most. You have captured inner turmoil. Very cool.

<3 Mary

Nameless · 08-06-2004, 01:26 PM

Reasonable Enough
__________________________________________________

Lying down,
And crying out,
I wipe your spittle from my lips;
The remnants of your tainted kiss...

You thought,
I’d still be cowering.
Watching you,
Devouring,
...
Me...

‘Guess I’m feeling different today.
...

Seeing things,
In a different way.
...

Under a different light...

There’s not enough where that came from...

Maybe I’m just incompetent.
Maybe I’m insignificant.
...
Maybe I’m good for nothing...

Maybe that’s the way,
That things,
Were always supposed to be.
...

That seems reasonable enough,
...
To me...

axeslinger0u812 · 08-06-2004, 09:14 PM

That mental hospital one was one of the coolest things I've ever read. It took me deep into the mind of someone, and brought feelings I didn't even know I had.

And this newer one...

Quote:

Maybe that’s the way,
That things,
Were always supposed to be.
...

That seems reasonable enough,
...
To me

This one had an amazing rythm, and this ending really jumped out at me. It sped the rythm up, to the perfect tempo. Very cool.

Nameless · 08-30-2004, 08:06 PM

Well, it's been awhile... So here's somthing to chew on untill I'm back in town for good. I'm taking a little vacation while I'm down here.

Despondent:

_____________________________________________

A sliver runs across the troubled, surface, of my well-being.

Something, not quite so tangible, it’s something that can be felt,

Without ever seeing.

Opening a new outlet, for anything stretching out its arms,

Attacking me.

Leaving, me vulnerable, to anything and everything that,

Can torture me.

Again I lie here,

Despondent.

Wading in the pool of my despair.

Drowning,

I can’t count on, someone to help me.

Or someone to care.

The sound is unendurable, as the surface begins to tear.

The shards of my emotions, lie in shattered pieces everywhere.

But I can’t, rely on someone to help me,

. . .

Or someone to care.

axeslinger0u812 · 10-08-2004, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nameless

Drowning,

I can’t count on, someone to help me.

Or someone to care.

But I can’t, rely on someone to help me,

. . .

Or someone to care.

Holy crap. I came to read a few of your old ones, and suddenly there's a new one I haven't read yet! The lines above were the ones that totally came out at me, and hit me. I love the way you ended it too. When are you returning!?

08-05-2004, 01:39 PM	#94 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 216 Points: 4,754.32 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,754.32 Donate	Hey wow, I was just joking but thanks. Free advertisement! I'm going to be leaving town for a few weeks on saturday. I've got to go to Louisiana to write a story for work, so at least I don't have to pay for it. It's possible that I could get back before that, but my deadline is in two weeks. I'll probably post something later tonight, then after that it might be awhile. I just wanted to let everyone know. Oh, and to those of you who PM me instead of posting comments, go ahead and do that for these last couple. I'll reply as soon as I can. Thanks again for reading, all of you... Last edited by Nameless : 08-06-2004 at 01:13 PM.

08-06-2004, 01:03 AM	#95 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 216 Points: 4,754.32 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,754.32 Donate	1999 In the mental hospital... Those were the days... Psychosis __________________________________________________ Another time around the bend; Maybe things will turn out differently. I’m staring at my own reflection, And it’s grinning back at me... ... Ripping out my hair, and unaware. My thoughts are gathering again. Traveling the road, Of lost souls... ... This will never end. * I know it’s dumb, but I can’t help it. I’m regressing, I can feel it... There’s no outlet for this madness. It’s finally creeping back behind me now. And, Somehow, I sustain it. But I can’t maintain my cool composure. ... And as I hear it, Ripping. ... Time is nothing; I’m still slipping... And I can’t contain it. (shit) I can’t arrange it! (But it’s so warm and comforting) It’s finally killing, What’s inside me now... * Even though you can see me, You don’t really know me... ... I’m so abhorrent... * Drooling on myself. And disgusted with myself... My mind is fogging, (Without end) Traveling the road, Of lost souls... ... Just to see it again. __________________ \| Myspace \| Sententious: Subtly Changing \| \| Licentious Poiesis \| The Eyes of Calistori \| \| Creative Underground** \|

08-06-2004, 12:56 PM	#96 (permalink)
SangReal Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: In Love Age: 24 Posts: 631 Points: 1,504.89 Bank: 21,023.62 Total Points: 22,528.51 Donate	I couldn't really pick a part of it that impressed me most. You have captured inner turmoil. Very cool. <3 Mary __________________ United States of America, looks like another silent night As we're sung to sleep by philosophies that save the trees and kill the children But You called me beautiful when you saw my shame And You placed me on the wall...anyway...

08-06-2004, 01:26 PM	#97 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 216 Points: 4,754.32 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,754.32 Donate	Reasonable Enough __________________________________________________ Lying down, And crying out, I wipe your spittle from my lips; The remnants of your tainted kiss... You thought, I’d still be cowering. Watching you, Devouring, ... Me... ‘Guess I’m feeling different today. ... Seeing things, In a different way. ... Under a different light... There’s not enough where that came from... Maybe I’m just incompetent. Maybe I’m insignificant. ... Maybe I’m good for nothing... Maybe that’s the way, That things, Were always supposed to be. ... That seems reasonable enough, ... To me... __________________ \| Myspace \| Sententious: Subtly Changing \| \| Licentious Poiesis \| The Eyes of Calistori \| \| Creative Underground \|

08-30-2004, 08:06 PM	#99 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 216 Points: 4,754.32 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,754.32 Donate	Poem Well, it's been awhile... So here's somthing to chew on untill I'm back in town for good. I'm taking a little vacation while I'm down here. Despondent: _____________________________________________ A sliver runs across the troubled, surface, of my well-being. Something, not quite so tangible, it’s something that can be felt, Without ever seeing. Opening a new outlet, for anything stretching out its arms, Attacking me. Leaving, me vulnerable, to anything and everything that, Can torture me. Again I lie here, Despondent. Wading in the pool of my despair. Drowning, I can’t count on, someone to help me. Or someone to care. The sound is unendurable, as the surface begins to tear. The shards of my emotions, lie in shattered pieces everywhere. But I can’t, rely on someone to help me, . . . Or someone to care. __________________ \| Myspace \| Sententious: Subtly Changing \| \| Licentious Poiesis \| The Eyes of Calistori \| \| Creative Underground \| Last edited by Nameless : 08-30-2004 at 08:11 PM.

08-05-2004, 03:24 AM	#92 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 216 Points: 4,754.32 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,754.32 Donate	Sweet! Does that mean I get my own link in your signature too? lol No, really though, thanks... That poem actually started as a letter to no-one... That's probably why it changed so much throughout, and ended the way it did... I don't see dead people... Not unless I go outside...

08-05-2004, 03:38 AM	#93 (permalink)
axeslinger0u812 Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Neither here, nor there Age: 24 Posts: 1,695 Points: 814.28 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 814.28 Donate	wow...even that last two lines of that post was cool as hell. yeah...i think you get a link in my sig

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