|
|
|||||||
| Register | FAQ | Chat | Members List | Calendar | Blogs | Toplist | Arcade | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
| Welcome to EvBoard - Evanescence Forum - This info disappears for registered Users! | |
|
Welcome to the EvBoard - Evanescence Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.  |
|
 |
|
|
LinkBack | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
01-20-2006, 08:13 PM
|
#151 (permalink) | |
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 18
 |
Quote:
And Terrifying . . . What can I say? I know. I need to buy your book. NOW! (well, when I get money and good stuff like that)
__________________
=D
My Thread |
|
|
      
|
|
01-21-2006, 11:39 AM
|
#152 (permalink) |
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ???
Age: 25
  |
Uriel - Praetextus
You guys are great. You're probably boosting my ego way too much though. But seriously, your comments mean a lot and they're definitly encouraging. There's just no way to describe how much I appreaciate them. And axe - DUDE, it's great to hear from you. It's been awhile huh? Drop me an e-mail sometime if you can't log in here and share some of that shit I know you're holding back... Don't make me come looking for you.  Here's a few more things I just finished. It's actualy pretty funny to see them next to each other; I wrote them within an hour of each other and they're completly different topics. I guess I was just having a manic day... ____________________________________ Apprehensive: I had another conversation with you in my mind. I went over every subtlety, Considerably… But nothing seems to speak to me, Quite like your silence… No one else, Has ever made me feel this way… When you sit across from me, And stare, Like this… You leave me so shaken and weak… … Embarrassed… … And unable to speak… _________________________________________ Asphyxiation: Nothing left to give; Nowhere left, to fall back now… No reasons left to live… Not like this. Cause I’m black and blue, And broken… Shrinking in the abscess that remains… Hacking, And choking from, The chains you wrapped, Around my throat: Strangling all the life left inside of me. 'Cause you’re always wanting; Always expecting more… *** But there’s nothing left to give. So go look somewhere else… There’s a world out there, With all the lives, You’ll ever need, To feed… Your insatiable hunger. You are, Un-satisfiable… Unreliable… Unable to see, That you’re hurting me… Unwilling to believe, That, It’s you… … You’re killing me…
__________________
Last edited by Nameless : 01-21-2006 at 05:44 PM. |
|
|
|
|
01-24-2006, 05:35 PM
|
#153 (permalink) |
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Medellin, Colombia
Age: 18
|
Dude, it's been a while since I dropped by. heh... you think I boost your ego too much? I don't, your writing is something else entirely. If you wanna see an ego-boosting comment, try yours on my work. Those definetely drive me to keep writing. Anyways... Asphyxiation was outstanding. No words to describe it, man. The last stanza was unbeliveably powerful, it really gets to the reader and makes you want to re-read the poem. Apprehensive was VERY good too, you managed to get the feelings one gets when one has a crush or likes someone but is too shy/scared to do/say anything about it through very well, even though you don't specifically say that's what it's about in the poem. And yeah, I also have maniac days like that... a lot lately, for some odd reason. *shrugs* It happens. The best one can do is to use it to one's advantage. Keep writng man, I'd love to see more of your stuff soon. You \m/.
__________________
...'Cause all we are is what we're told, And most of that's been lies...
|
|
|
|
|
01-24-2006, 11:59 PM
|
#154 (permalink) |
|
Sex Muffin
 Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: There, There
Age: 19
            |
i haven't been here in a while, so when i did come back...i was very pleased. it's seems to me, that everytime i drop by, a poem you wrote will stand out entirely to me. this time it's Apprehensive. i really think you are taking the words right out from my mind...
i enjoy all your work |
|
|
|
|
01-25-2006, 05:37 PM
|
#155 (permalink) |
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ???
Age: 25
|
Thanks again for the great comments you guys; I can’t say that enough.
Uriel – It’s funny how you saw right through my poem Apprehensive, because that is exactly what it was about. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m writing is getting through to the reader, or if I’m so absorbed in it myself that I just think that it’s obvious. It’s really cool that the message got through to you on this one. And there’s no reason that your ego shouldn’t be boosted a little, I honestly meant what I said on your thread. You’ve got talent, and it’s amazing how clearly you write for someone your age; I don’t think I was ever that good when I was fifteen… I can’t wait to read more of your work when I’ve got a little extra time on my hands. I’ve been working six days a week on 3rd shift, so I’ve been stretching myself fairly thin. After this post I think I’ll just have to wander around for awhile when I get off of work, and see what you guys have been up to in your own little worlds… And to all of the other people who’ve posted comments on my work recently: myimmortalenemy, preatextus, bandgeekwithadd, nothing, and as always axeslinger0u812… Thanks so much… It means a lot, and I haven’t forgotten any of your comments. Here’s something I wrote about an hour ago… I’ve got this subject running through my mind a lot lately, and hopefully it’s almost run it’s course… I’d really like to write something nice this week. ______________________________________________ You Lied: It’s hard to fight, These negative feelings… These difficult thoughts that won’t subside. Every day brings, A new series of questions… A serious lack of answers; You lied… Or maybe I lied to myself… … Maybe honesty’s over rated. … Maybe it’s time to decide; Maybe it’s time to move on… *** Your velvet skin’s so rough tonight. Your hair is ragged; Your beauty, not so bright… For all of the years, You left me hanging… My only regret, Is that you lied… *** It’s hard to count, All the times that I tried… Still, these difficult feelings won’t subside. Every day brings, A new series of questions… … A serious lack of answers; ... You lied…
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-26-2006, 05:25 PM
|
#156 (permalink) |
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Medellin, Colombia
Age: 18
|
Man, I can really relate to that one, especially this week. And... in most of the cases, it's true. One only regrets that the other peerson (be it firend, significant other, family, etc...) lied, and that you knew about it but you kept lying to yourself cause you didn't want it to end... *sigh* Anyways... loved it. Very straight to the point. I especially liked the lines between the asteriscs (****), that's exactly how I'd describe the person who inspired my latest poem right now. Keep up the amazing work, it simply \m/.
__________________
...'Cause all we are is what we're told, And most of that's been lies...
|
|
|
|
|
02-05-2006, 11:31 AM
|
#157 (permalink) |
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ???
Age: 25
|
Thanks again for the great comment Uriel, I highly respect your oppinion. I'm really glad that you liked it.
I've got a lot of old shit running through my head. At least I'm making new poetry out it. Here's one more, then I'll move on to a different topic... _______________________________________________ Somebody, Please help me... I’m dying in here. There’s, Too many walls, Without windows... Not even a fire escape. So when it all comes crashing, Down around me... Threatening, to strangle me... I remember all the times I tried, And how I cried... How I begged, And how, It didn’t matter; It doesn’t matter... I can do this myself. *** Sweet Jesus! Can’t you hear me screaming in here? Battering myself bloody... As the pungent smell, Of all my anger, All my fear... Rises up, Just to pull me under... And as it all comes crashing, Down around me.... Grappling, and strangling me... I remember, how desperately I tried, And how your eyes passed through me. How I begged, And how it didn’t matter; It doesn’t matter... It never mattered... What matters is that, I must live this way alone... ... That, this filthy environment, Is my home, away from home... This toxic space, Where I reside: By myself... ... Where I can hide.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
02-05-2006, 12:36 PM
|
#158 (permalink) |
|
Sex Muffin
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: There, There
Age: 19
|
That poem was sweet! I could see right into what you're writting too. We all feel trapped sometimes, don't we? Our outside enviroment pushing up against our fears, so that we all run and hide inside our minds, only to find out that that place had been poisoned as well. Beautiful poem...I was wondering when you were going to come back.
|
|
|
|
|
02-05-2006, 04:35 PM
|
#159 (permalink) |
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Medellin, Colombia
Age: 18
|
Yo, it's good to see you back.
I loved the new poem... great job, as always. Gives such a deep sense of despair and hopelessness that it's amazing how you pulled it off. It's a bit contradictory, but it adds to the feeling of "these fucked up feelings have begun to get to me" that the poem has. I liked the imagery you used, I got the feeling that the anger and the fear were represented by fire and smoke, and that's why they had smell and were threatning to suffocate the character the poem is talking about. I liked how you used Jesus in it, and how you said his eyes lookd right through you, because that's what many people feel about God sometimes... hell, I felt that way a lot (still do sometimes) before I became as religious as I am now. The ending works amazingly well too, by saying that that toxic place is the only safe refuge the character has, it gives you an idea of how fucked up things must be outside of that place. Great job, keep em coming man. \m/
__________________
...'Cause all we are is what we're told, And most of that's been lies...
|
|
|
|
|
02-05-2006, 05:24 PM
|
#160 (permalink) |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: L-city
Age: 22
|
I'm speechless. I've never posted comments on somebody else's poems here or on other boards cuz I don't really like anything. Your work is so much different. Great, just great. I need some time to think about it.
|
|
|
|
|
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
