Punish Me . . . - Page 23 - EvBoard

Fiery_Scarlett · 08-21-2006, 12:02 AM

I love the use of punctuation.

-30-

Ashlee · 08-21-2006, 12:04 AM

I really love Tomorrow, there is something calming about it, the use of vocabulary is once again incredible.

I loved these lines, so soothing

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nameless

Shadows skirt the sidewalks,
Moving with the music of the world:

This was my favourite part.

Quote:

I press my palms against,
The damp, cold glass…
And know this day will also…

Pass…

excellent
<3

FelicityS · 08-21-2006, 06:34 PM

Shadows skirt the sidewalks,
Moving with the music of the world:
The orchestral sound of birds;
The sounds,

Far out, you are amazing and congratulations on all of your writing accomplishments! <3

Nameless · 08-22-2006, 11:48 AM

Ashlee, and FelecityS:

It's so good to see you guys in here again! I'm gald that you're still reading, and I'm glad that you liked this poem too.

Thanks so much for your comments, I've always appreciated them, and I hope that you'll keep reading.

Fiery_Scarlet:

Thank you for your comment as well. It's always good to get some feedback from new people. I hope that you as well, will come back and read again sometime.

-Take Care you Guys!

Violette · 08-23-2006, 10:25 AM

First of all, you rock for commenting on the short story in my thread. I really appreciate your comments! Unfortunately, I've never really continued Andrea's story since then, but I am in the middle of writing another short story right now...

"Tomorrow" is another great piece of yours. I liked the descriptions of nature and the overall lonely, introspective feel it had. I really liked this part:
For an isolated, introverted, adolescent,
Who never seemed to find his way,
Through crowds of mindless people;
Hordes of careless conquerors,

With no one left to subjugate…

And please keep us updated about your book!

Nameless · 08-24-2006, 10:37 AM

Violette:

Don't mention it, about the comment. I only comment when I really mean it, so you should thank yourself, not me. It was really good.

Oh, and thanks for commenting in HERE again!

TO EVERYONE:

I've finally got my official website up and running. The content is about the same as the old one, but the design has been improved, and it doesn't have any stupid advertisements floating around on it either now.

If you're interested, check it out HERE

And if you were kind enough to sign the guest book before, it would be great if you did so again now; I couldn't bring the old one with me...

It's in the Contact section.

It would mean a lot you guys.

Anyway, that's about all for today. I've got some new material, but to be honest, I'm too damn tired to post it right now.

Take Care

FelicityS · 08-25-2006, 06:37 PM

It looks great (the website)... you are very busy with all of your projects... that's great! you are really inspiring!

Nameless · 09-09-2006, 12:10 PM

Thanks Fliss, that was really cool of you to check out my website. I really appreciate it.

And to everyone else, if you stop in to check it out as well, please take a moment to sign the guest book even if you signed it on the first site. (This one is going to stay, don't worry) You can find it in the Contact section.

And since I'm posting already anyway, here's something that I wrote earlier today....

---------------------------------------------

Rest:

Sleeping soundly:
Sleeping soundly for the,
First time....
In a long time....

Resting peacefully.
Resting peacefully,
Beside you;
Disarmed by you.

***
Stay awhile,
And let me rest.
Wrap your arms around me;
Let your warmth surround me.

So much time has come, and passed.
But now my head has reached you....

At last.
***

I spent awhile,
Peacefully dreaming in your arms.

Sleeping soundly....

Sleeping soundly for the first time,
In a long time....

Return To Chaos · 09-09-2006, 02:37 PM

The piece you posted above was good also. I like the repetition throughout it. Oh, and I'm looking through your website as I type this. Very cool, and good luck with this book and future projects. I'm going to sign the guestbook too! <3

Violette · 09-09-2006, 05:25 PM

I've visited the new site, but haven't had a chance to post anything in the guestbook or whatnot. But yes, it does look very good. Keep us updated.

As for "Rest," it's very peaceful. I actually felt more relaxed as the piece went along, which was refreshing. And I loved the line "Disarmed by you."

08-21-2006, 06:34 PM	#223 (permalink)
FelicityS Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,403 Points: 700.64 Bank: 41.06 Total Points: 741.70 Donate	Shadows skirt the sidewalks, Moving with the music of the world: The orchestral sound of birds; The sounds, Far out, you are amazing and congratulations on all of your writing accomplishments! <3 __________________ My Space My Stuff

08-22-2006, 11:48 AM	#224 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,959.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,959.88 Donate	Ashlee, and FelecityS: It's so good to see you guys in here again! I'm gald that you're still reading, and I'm glad that you liked this poem too. Thanks so much for your comments, I've always appreciated them, and I hope that you'll keep reading. Fiery_Scarlet: Thank you for your comment as well. It's always good to get some feedback from new people. I hope that you as well, will come back and read again sometime. -Take Care you Guys! __________________ Myspace - Sententious: Subtly Changing Licentious Poiesis - The Eyes of Calistori Share your poetry, music, and art at the Creative Underground

08-23-2006, 10:25 AM	#225 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 23 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	First of all, you rock for commenting on the short story in my thread. I really appreciate your comments! Unfortunately, I've never really continued Andrea's story since then, but I am in the middle of writing another short story right now... "Tomorrow" is another great piece of yours. I liked the descriptions of nature and the overall lonely, introspective feel it had. I really liked this part: For an isolated, introverted, adolescent, Who never seemed to find his way, Through crowds of mindless people; Hordes of careless conquerors, With no one left to subjugate… And please keep us updated about your book! __________________ Come join!

08-24-2006, 10:37 AM	#226 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,959.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,959.88 Donate	Official Website Violette: Don't mention it, about the comment. I only comment when I really mean it, so you should thank yourself, not me. It was really good. Oh, and thanks for commenting in HERE again! TO EVERYONE: I've finally got my official website up and running. The content is about the same as the old one, but the design has been improved, and it doesn't have any stupid advertisements floating around on it either now. If you're interested, check it out HERE And if you were kind enough to sign the guest book before, it would be great if you did so again now; I couldn't bring the old one with me... It's in the Contact section. It would mean a lot you guys. Anyway, that's about all for today. I've got some new material, but to be honest, I'm too damn tired to post it right now. Take Care __________________ Myspace - Sententious: Subtly Changing Licentious Poiesis - The Eyes of Calistori Share your poetry, music, and art at the Creative Underground Last edited by Nameless : 08-24-2006 at 10:42 AM.

08-25-2006, 06:37 PM	#227 (permalink)
FelicityS Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,403 Points: 700.64 Bank: 41.06 Total Points: 741.70 Donate	It looks great (the website)... you are very busy with all of your projects... that's great! you are really inspiring! __________________ My Space My Stuff

08-21-2006, 12:02 AM	#221 (permalink)
Fiery_Scarlett Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Belleville, IL Age: 20 Posts: 43 Points: 4.47 Bank: 452.34 Total Points: 456.81 Donate	I love the use of punctuation. -30-

09-09-2006, 12:10 PM	#228 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,959.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,959.88 Donate	Thanks Fliss, that was really cool of you to check out my website. I really appreciate it. And to everyone else, if you stop in to check it out as well, please take a moment to sign the guest book even if you signed it on the first site. (This one is going to stay, don't worry) You can find it in the Contact section. And since I'm posting already anyway, here's something that I wrote earlier today.... --------------------------------------------- Rest: Sleeping soundly: Sleeping soundly for the, First time.... In a long time.... Resting peacefully. Resting peacefully, Beside you; Disarmed by you. * Stay awhile, And let me rest. Wrap your arms around me; Let your warmth surround me. So much time has come, and passed. But now my head has reached you.... At last. * I spent awhile, Peacefully dreaming in your arms. Sleeping soundly.... Sleeping soundly for the first time, In a long time.... __________________ Myspace - Sententious: Subtly Changing Licentious Poiesis - The Eyes of Calistori Share your poetry, music, and art at the Creative Underground

09-09-2006, 02:37 PM	#229 (permalink)
Return To Chaos Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ontario Age: 20 Posts: 410 Points: 295.76 Bank: 1,833.19 Total Points: 2,128.95 Donate	The piece you posted above was good also. I like the repetition throughout it. Oh, and I'm looking through your website as I type this. Very cool, and good luck with this book and future projects. I'm going to sign the guestbook too! <3

09-09-2006, 05:25 PM	#230 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 23 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	I've visited the new site, but haven't had a chance to post anything in the guestbook or whatnot. But yes, it does look very good. Keep us updated. As for "Rest," it's very peaceful. I actually felt more relaxed as the piece went along, which was refreshing. And I loved the line "Disarmed by you." __________________ Come join!

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