Punish Me . . . - Page 3 - EvBoard

Nameless · 07-11-2004, 06:21 PM

Dream: 52103
------------------------------------------------------------

You,
And me,
Are,
Here alone.

Paint-ed,
Here,
So,
Suddenly.
. . .

I can't believe the stroke . . .
. . .

The brush made . . .
. . .

When it passed over you.

I can't speak . . .
. . .

I'm still so . . .
. . .

Weak.

***
It's all right.
X3

It's already over . . .
***

We are here,
So distant;
Still alone.

Forming here,
So suddenly;
. . .
I hear you breathing.

The distance closes . . .
. . .

Our hands move closer . . .
. . .

When suddenly,
I sigh;
They meet.

But only briefly.

Nameless · 07-11-2004, 06:24 PM

Nevermind . . .
------------------------------------------------------------

Bury me . . .

Just,
Don't look at me.

Your pity's fleeting . . .

It leaves me;
Drags me,
Into,
Nothing . . .

Nevermind . . .

***
The tracks on my arms are from the lies I told myself.

The blood in my eyes,
Is from,
Watching you,
Become,
Someone else . . .

So . . .

Don't you look at me . . .

Your pity's always fleeting.
***

Your eyes seem to sparkle,
Peering out from your hole . . .

Your dark little heaven.
Where all your dark designs begin to breathe . . .

They learn to walk;
Begin to speak . . .

But never of,
Anything new . . .

. . .

They'll leave you;
Drag you,
Into,
. . .
Nothing . . .

. . .

Nevermind . . .

Nameless · 07-12-2004, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by axeslinger0u812

Considerably consistent moment...was beautiful. After reading the others, I wasn't expecting anything like it.

This line really reminded me of my girl Kristin, and anything that reminds me of her is o.k. by me!

You pour your emotions so fully into the things you write, which really pulls the reader in, and makes us feel the same. That is a gift that takes some ages to learn, and others are born with. I think you are the latter.

This comment made me feel really good. And I'm sorry that I didn't reply to it sooner.

I generally write with a bit of darker imagery, but, from time to time, I find that I actually feel good about somthing . . . That's where poems like this come from.

It's actually kind of funny . . . 5 years ago and I would have hung myself before I wrote somthing like this . . .

Thanks again. It means a lot.

axeslinger0u812 · 07-12-2004, 06:46 AM

no problem, and I meant every word!

Those were all so different and yet so great in different ways. I especially liked these.

Quote:

In fields of roses . . .

Searching endless skies,
That hide,
In endless emerald eyes . . .

To feel alive . . .

In case it was any wonder, I really loved this part. It is just so beautiful.

Quote:

Life-blood, of a system, that crushes its components;
Moving hand to hand, through the freedom land.

this whole piece was just totally alive, and very powerful. You didn't hold back! I could feel your anger, and it was very strong.

Quote:

Pacing through my circle of stones.
Over,
Fragmented memories . . .

And broken bones . . .

Surrounded by the echoes of,
A million voices,
All together;

And this one was awesome. Especially this part. I loved the way you rhymed it, and the pattern. it has a great feel to it.

You sure posted a bunch! I love it, keep it up!

Nameless · 07-12-2004, 07:28 AM

Well, not to sound like a broken record or anything, but I had to thank you again. I haven't gotten much feedback here so far, and yours is definitely the best out of the little that I have gotten. I never know when my stuff will get posted so it's always a surprise to find out that someone's finally read it.

Here's hoping that more will read it, and comment . . . And if I'm really lucky their comments will be as positive as yours!

But any comment is positive to me anyway . . .

Thanks for reading.

The Reaper · 07-12-2004, 01:10 PM

The first poem disturbed me

SilentSinger131 · 07-12-2004, 07:43 PM

I absolutely love all of your poems. They are like black holes ya know? Like they just suck you in and keep you reading and never letting you out.
I also write with a dark style. Even when I'm happy I write very darkly. I just think it's a lot more easier to express yourself when you write darkly instead of writing about fluffy bunny rabbits and poodles ya know? *laughs*
I'm gonna print out all of these poems and put them in frames so I can admire them and hope to write like that someday. lol
Once again... awesome poems!!!

Nameless · 07-12-2004, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentSinger131

I absolutely love all of your poems. They are like black holes ya know? Like they just suck you in and keep you reading and never letting you out.
I also write with a dark style. Even when I'm happy I write very darkly. I just think it's a lot more easier to express yourself when you write darkly instead of writing about fluffy bunny rabbits and poodles ya know? *laughs*
I'm gonna print out all of these poems and put them in frames so I can admire them and hope to write like that someday. lol
Once again... awesome poems!!!

Well, I don't know if I can accept that I'm THAT good. I mean, I like to think that I'm PRETTY good. Or maybe Ok. But not quite as good as you made me feel with your comment. An ego is the last thing that I need. I'm glad that you liked the poetry and music though, and I'm really glad that you commented.

I've only recently discovered that I can write about nice things. But there always seems to be sadness intermixed with the good feelings. Ironically, it hurts me a lot more when I write about something nice then it does to get out something that' been tormenting me. That's more like a release.

Or maybe I'm just an unhappy person inside . . .

axeslinger0u812 · 07-12-2004, 10:32 PM

I told you they were excellent. Now you have another opinion!

Nameless · 07-14-2004, 05:46 PM

Well if you guys liked them, I guess I'll just post some more. Hopefully you'll like these too . . .

07-11-2004, 06:21 PM	#21 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Song Dream: 52103 ------------------------------------------------------------ You, And me, Are, Here alone. Paint-ed, Here, So, Suddenly. . . . I can't believe the stroke . . . . . . The brush made . . . . . . When it passed over you. I can't speak . . . . . . I'm still so . . . . . . Weak. * It's all right. X3 It's already over . . . * We are here, So distant; Still alone. Forming here, So suddenly; . . . I hear you breathing. The distance closes . . . . . . Our hands move closer . . . . . . When suddenly, I sigh; They meet. But only briefly. Last edited by Nameless : 07-28-2004 at 06:31 PM.

07-11-2004, 06:24 PM	#22 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Song Nevermind . . . ------------------------------------------------------------ Bury me . . . Just, Don't look at me. *Your pity's fleeting . . .* It leaves me; Drags me, Into, Nothing . . . Nevermind . . . * The tracks on my arms are from the lies I told myself. The blood in my eyes, Is from, Watching you, Become, Someone else . . . So . . . Don't you look at me . . .** Your pity's always fleeting. *** Your eyes seem to sparkle, Peering out from your hole . . . Your dark little heaven. Where all your dark designs begin to breathe . . . They learn to walk; Begin to speak . . . But never of, Anything new . . . . . . They'll leave you; Drag you, Into, . . . Nothing . . . . . . Nevermind . . . Last edited by Nameless : 07-28-2004 at 06:26 PM.

07-12-2004, 07:28 AM	#25 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Thanks Again Well, not to sound like a broken record or anything, but I had to thank you again. I haven't gotten much feedback here so far, and yours is definitely the best out of the little that I have gotten. I never know when my stuff will get posted so it's always a surprise to find out that someone's finally read it. Here's hoping that more will read it, and comment . . . And if I'm really lucky their comments will be as positive as yours! But any comment is positive to me anyway . . . Thanks for reading.

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07-12-2004, 01:10 PM	#26 (permalink)
The Reaper Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Riverside,CA Age: 18 Posts: 503 Points: 3,193.04 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,193.04 Donate	The first poem disturbed me

07-12-2004, 07:43 PM	#27 (permalink)
SilentSinger131 Junior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philadelphia, PA (AKA: Philly) Age: 17 Posts: 77 Points: 129.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 129.00 Donate	I absolutely love all of your poems. They are like black holes ya know? Like they just suck you in and keep you reading and never letting you out. I also write with a dark style. Even when I'm happy I write very darkly. I just think it's a lot more easier to express yourself when you write darkly instead of writing about fluffy bunny rabbits and poodles ya know? laughs I'm gonna print out all of these poems and put them in frames so I can admire them and hope to write like that someday. lol Once again... awesome poems!!!

07-12-2004, 10:32 PM	#29 (permalink)
axeslinger0u812 Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Neither here, nor there Age: 23 Posts: 1,695 Points: 314.28 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 314.28 Donate	I told you they were excellent. Now you have another opinion!

07-14-2004, 05:46 PM	#30 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Well if you guys liked them, I guess I'll just post some more. Hopefully you'll like these too . . .

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