Punish Me . . . - Page 4 - EvBoard

Nameless · 07-14-2004, 05:50 PM

Sparkling, drops of dew,
Raining down on you.
The sun so warm,
The sky so blue.
It sings . . .
It surrounds you . . .

You feel so out of place.

It seems, at any moment,
You’ll be pulled,
Unwillingly . . .

Breathing air,
And strangling,
Into,
Another universe . . .

Into another time and place . . .

Into your limited mass,
In infinite space . . .
. . .

You open your eyes.
. . .
. . .

And hate waking up.

------------------------------------------------------------

Break Me - (Again) :

I’ve put myself, in a state of vulnerability.
I promised before, that I wouldn’t,
Because,
I’ve been here before;

Wide eyed, and terrified,
And striving to retain, some sort of sanity . . .

How did you penetrate me,
. . .
After everything I’ve undergone,
To kill my emotions?

And why can’t I allow myself to feel,
Anything;
Anymore?

Probably because I’ve been here,
And back . . .

So many times before.

What’s the use in hoping;
Dreaming . . .

When someone will come shake me;
Wake me . . .

Then I’ll be left alone again;
Feeble . . .

So come along and take me;
Break me . . .
. . .

Again.

Nameless · 07-14-2004, 05:55 PM

Dissolution
------------------------------------------------------------

Whimper,
Sounding,
Cold and,
Empty.
. . .

Inhale.
Exhale.
Stop.

Staggering,
Not quite managing.
Coughing, cold and,
Empty.
. . .

Inhale.
Exhale.
Stop.

Turning over.
Lifetimes flashing past.
. . .
Turning, over and over.
. . .

Starting over.

***

Whimper sounding,
Cold and empty.

Staggering,
Not quite managing.

Lightless, weightless.
Armless, legless.
Nameless, faceless.
Lifeless . . .
. . .

Careless.

Feeling cold and,
Empty
. . .

Inhale.
Exhale.
Stop.

axeslinger0u812 · 07-14-2004, 07:03 PM

wow, you always have such amazing work. I don't even know where to begin. They were all so well written. I really like the way you post them too. It adds to the effect. Of all of the ones you posted, the one that had me just...captured...was Break Me - (Again). Specifically :

Quote:

I’ve put myself, in a state of vulnerability.
I promised before, that I wouldn’t . . .
Because,
I’ve been here before;

So much,,,I don't know, it jsut captivated me. Love your stuff.

SilentSinger131 · 07-15-2004, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow_666

I've only recently discovered that I can write about nice things. But there always seems to be sadness intermixed with the good feelings. Ironically, it hurts me a lot more when I write about something nice then it does to get out something that' been tormenting me. That's more like a release.

Or maybe I'm just an unhappy person inside . . .

I totally know what you're saying about when you write about stuff that's been tormenting you that it's more like a release. I just think that when you intermix sadness with good things it's more like a peiece of art then just words. The sadness gives a dark, poetic feel and the positve thoughts gives you that fluffy lighthearted kind've feel. You have very good balance in your writings and that is what makes you an awesome writer.

Nameless · 07-15-2004, 08:42 PM

This is somthing I wrote awhile ago:
What do you guys think about this?

Sweetest Moment:
------------------------------------------------------------

You catch my sidelong glance, and smile,
Ever so slightly.
You are looking intently at my face.
Can you see what I am thinking?

I move the slightest bit.
Carefully, and slowly......

:And skipping through the tall grass of the field:
:And laughing:
:Your eyes sparkling:
:Cautiously, I follow you:
:You come back to me, breathless:
:Your sun-sweat smell nearly overpowering me:
:Watching you in the grass, I am nearly overcome:

I can think of nothing but you.

I can’t see anything but you.

I’m so overjoyed to be with you.

Filled with satisfaction, ‘cause I’m near you.

Lying in the afternoon shadows,
We speak warmly, of our fondest memories.
And time races past, and the day goes on.
Unending, and unfettered, from the rest of the universe.

Looking back on this,
I know I’ll always feel, how warm the sun felt on my skin.
I know I’ll always smell, your sweet smell,
Your familiar fragrance.
I know I’ll always feel, how your touch, fixed so much,
And made life better for me.
And I know I’ll always, cherish this, time . . . .
When I was complete.

:And skipping through the tall grass of the field:
:And laughing:
:Your eyes sparkling:
:Helplessly, I follow you:
:You look back to me, breathless:
:Your sun-sweet smile overpowering me:
:Watching you in the grass, I am nearly overcome:

------------------------------------------------------------

SilentSinger131 · 07-16-2004, 10:27 AM

Absolutely amazing, captiviating, mesmerizing..... *looks in dictionary for more words*

axeslinger0u812 · 07-18-2004, 03:47 PM

OMG, a love poem in the Your Stuff forum...I think we need to go thaw out hell, and shoot some pigs from the sky!

Loved it! I was just so in tune with everything you said. Who hasn't been there? Great piece. Wow, I still can't believe it's aomething happy,lol. That's fantastic.

Nameless · 07-20-2004, 08:02 PM

Well to tell you the truth, it depressed the shit out of me . . . I wrote this a few days after the girl this is about and I broke up. You can look at it two ways I guess . . . The happiness of the moment, or the sadness that it's over and the thought that it will never come again . . .

Thanks so much for your comments . . .

Now back to being depressed . . .

Nameless · 07-20-2004, 08:13 PM

Jessica:
------------------------------------------------------------

Disheveled and filthy,
I’m broken.
I’m nothing.
. . .

I’m lonely.

But somehow,
Your presence,
Your sweetness;

It,
Still warms me.
. . .

And now I cannot breathe.

And every time you move your lips,
I think of every time we kissed;
How I adored you.
. . .

How I loved to watch you move.

But it doesn’t feel, like very much time;
It doesn’t seem so long ago,
That you were mine.

But you can’t tell,
That I still . . .

***

Things are different now.
We’re so different.
. . .

But nothing’s different.
. . .

Because, I still feel the same.

Every time an angel sings,
You smile.
And my heart hurts awhile.

And I cannot breathe . . .
. . .

But it doesn’t seem, that very much time,
Has passed, since I last glanced upon,
Your soft and sweet design.
. . .
When you were mine.

But you can’t tell,
That I still . . .

------------------------------------------------------------
And here's somthing to balance out all of that nice stuff . . .

Broken Vessel:
------------------------------------------------------------

A pretty, porcelain container.
A smooth profile,
A silhouette of soft perfection.
Containing:
A bouquet of faded water lilies.
Spilling, lavender reflections;
Condescending patterns,
Mildly, across an empty room.

Projecting only, the soft, still glow, of life . . .

It looks so beautiful.
But . . .

It’s not so beautiful.

Because,
Every special thing inside could fall;
After all.

Leaving only,
A broken vessel.

And so,
What was once, so ravishing,
Becoming brown,
And withering . . .

And lovely things, perishing,
Prove that love, and life, and joy,
Are not withstanding.

These things lie exposed,
And dyeing,
Beside their broken vessel.

Trying to find their ground,
And grow . . .

Trying to hold on,
And not let go.

axeslinger0u812 · 07-20-2004, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow_666

Jessica:

It doesn’t seem so long ago,
That you were mine.

But you can’t tell,
That I still . . .

I LOVED both of those! Wow.

Ok, comments:
In the first one, I thought it was brilliant how you trailed off right there. It gave a feeling of longing for you to say it, even though we knew what it was. BRILLIANT.

Quote:

Broken Vessel:

A pretty, porcelain container.
A smooth profile,
A silhouette of soft perfection.
Containing:
A bouquet of faded water lilies,
Spilling, lavender reflections;
Condescending patterns,
Mildly, across an empty room.

Projecting only, the soft, still glow, of life.

It looks so beautiful.
But . . .

It’s not so beautiful.

Because,
Every special thing inside could fall;
After all.
Leaving only,
A broken vessel.

And so,
What was once, so ravishing,
Becoming brown,
And withering.

And lovely things, perishing,
Prove that love, and life, and joy,
Are not withstanding.

These things lie exposed,
And dyeing.
Beside their broken vessel.

Trying to find their ground,
And grow.

Trying to hold on,
And not let go.

And this one was just fantastic. I was going to quote something, but I couldn't pick out anything particular, because the whole thing is just exquisite. You have quite a way with words.

07-14-2004, 05:50 PM	#31 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Wake Up Sparkling, drops of dew, Raining down on you. The sun so warm, The sky so blue. It sings . . . It surrounds you . . . You feel so out of place. It seems, at any moment, You’ll be pulled, Unwillingly . . . Breathing air, And strangling, Into, Another universe . . . Into another time and place . . . Into your limited mass, In infinite space . . . . . . You open your eyes. . . . . . . And hate waking up. ------------------------------------------------------------ Break Me - (Again) : I’ve put myself, in a state of vulnerability. I promised before, that I wouldn’t, Because, I’ve been here before; Wide eyed, and terrified, And striving to retain, some sort of sanity . . . How did you penetrate me, . . . After everything I’ve undergone, To kill my emotions? And why can’t I allow myself to feel, Anything; Anymore? Probably because I’ve been here, And back . . . So many times before. What’s the use in hoping; Dreaming . . . When someone will come shake me; Wake me . . . Then I’ll be left alone again; Feeble . . . So come along and take me; Break me . . . . . . Again. Last edited by Nameless : 07-28-2004 at 06:16 PM.

07-14-2004, 05:55 PM	#32 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Song Dissolution ------------------------------------------------------------ Whimper, Sounding, Cold and, Empty. . . . Inhale. Exhale. Stop. Staggering, Not quite managing. Coughing, cold and, Empty. . . . Inhale. Exhale. Stop. Turning over. Lifetimes flashing past. . . . Turning, over and over. . . . Starting over. *** Whimper sounding, Cold and empty. Staggering, Not quite managing. Lightless, weightless. Armless, legless. Nameless, faceless. Lifeless . . . . . . Careless. Feeling cold and, Empty . . . Inhale. Exhale. Stop. Last edited by Nameless : 07-28-2004 at 08:45 PM.

07-15-2004, 08:42 PM	#35 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Well . . . This is somthing I wrote awhile ago: What do you guys think about this? Sweetest Moment: ------------------------------------------------------------ You catch my sidelong glance, and smile, Ever so slightly. You are looking intently at my face. Can you see what I am thinking? I move the slightest bit. Carefully, and slowly...... :And skipping through the tall grass of the field: :And laughing: :Your eyes sparkling: :Cautiously, I follow you: :You come back to me, breathless: :Your sun-sweat smell nearly overpowering me: :Watching you in the grass, I am nearly overcome: I can think of nothing but you. I can’t see anything but you. I’m so overjoyed to be with you. Filled with satisfaction, ‘cause I’m near you. Lying in the afternoon shadows, We speak warmly, of our fondest memories. And time races past, and the day goes on. Unending, and unfettered, from the rest of the universe. Looking back on this, I know I’ll always feel, how warm the sun felt on my skin. I know I’ll always smell, your sweet smell, Your familiar fragrance. I know I’ll always feel, how your touch, fixed so much, And made life better for me. And I know I’ll always, cherish this, time . . . . When I was complete. :And skipping through the tall grass of the field: :And laughing: :Your eyes sparkling: :Helplessly, I follow you: :You look back to me, breathless: :Your sun-sweet smile overpowering me: :Watching you in the grass, I am nearly overcome: ------------------------------------------------------------ Last edited by Nameless : 08-04-2004 at 06:46 PM.

07-16-2004, 10:27 AM	#36 (permalink)
SilentSinger131 Junior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philadelphia, PA (AKA: Philly) Age: 17 Posts: 77 Points: 129.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 129.00 Donate	excellent Absolutely amazing, captiviating, mesmerizing..... looks in dictionary for more words

07-20-2004, 08:02 PM	#38 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	Well to tell you the truth, it depressed the shit out of me . . . I wrote this a few days after the girl this is about and I broke up. You can look at it two ways I guess . . . The happiness of the moment, or the sadness that it's over and the thought that it will never come again . . . Thanks so much for your comments . . . Now back to being depressed . . . Last edited by Nameless : 01-08-2006 at 05:17 AM.

07-18-2004, 03:47 PM	#37 (permalink)
axeslinger0u812 Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Neither here, nor there Age: 23 Posts: 1,695 Points: 314.28 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 314.28 Donate	OMG, a love poem in the Your Stuff forum...I think we need to go thaw out hell, and shoot some pigs from the sky! Loved it! I was just so in tune with everything you said. Who hasn't been there? Great piece. Wow, I still can't believe it's aomething happy,lol. That's fantastic.

07-20-2004, 08:13 PM	#39 (permalink)
Nameless Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: ??? Age: 25 Posts: 215 Points: 3,459.88 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 3,459.88 Donate	A few more . . . Jessica: ------------------------------------------------------------ Disheveled and filthy, I’m broken. I’m nothing. . . . I’m lonely. But somehow, Your presence, Your sweetness; It, Still warms me. . . . And now I cannot breathe. And every time you move your lips, I think of every time we kissed; How I adored you. . . . How I loved to watch you move. But it doesn’t feel, like very much time; It doesn’t seem so long ago, That you were mine. But you can’t tell, That I still . . . *** Things are different now. We’re so different. . . . But nothing’s different. . . . Because, I still feel the same. Every time an angel sings, You smile. And my heart hurts awhile. And I cannot breathe . . . . . . But it doesn’t seem, that very much time, Has passed, since I last glanced upon, Your soft and sweet design. . . . When you were mine. But you can’t tell, That I still . . . ------------------------------------------------------------ And here's somthing to balance out all of that nice stuff . . . Broken Vessel: ------------------------------------------------------------ A pretty, porcelain container. A smooth profile, A silhouette of soft perfection. Containing: A bouquet of faded water lilies. Spilling, lavender reflections; Condescending patterns, Mildly, across an empty room. Projecting only, the soft, still glow, of life . . . It looks so beautiful. But . . . It’s not so beautiful. Because, Every special thing inside could fall; After all. Leaving only, A broken vessel. And so, What was once, so ravishing, Becoming brown, And withering . . . And lovely things, perishing, Prove that love, and life, and joy, Are not withstanding. These things lie exposed, And dyeing, Beside their broken vessel. Trying to find their ground, And grow . . . Trying to hold on, And not let go. Last edited by Nameless : 07-28-2004 at 06:05 PM.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode