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DhammaSeeker · 08-19-2005, 04:54 PM

OMG Bump!
http://www.westword.com/Issues/2005-...ing/drunk.html

Quote:

Drunk of the Week
Las Margaritas Uptown
By Patrick Osborn
Published: Thursday, August 18, 2005
Where:
1035 East 17th Avenue

We here at the Institute of Drinking Studies got into journalism for the same reason as Woodward and Bernstein, George Will and Woody Paige: to get girls. We're still big fans of hard-hitting reportage, and when we see something like the piece 20/20 did a while back -- an entire hour of prime-time TV (which runs about $213 million, or about 10 million cases of beer) dedicated to the best way to remove hair from legs, naughty bits and assorted orifices -- it inspires hours of intellectual discussion and often further investigation. For example, after watching a vapid reporteress ask if shaving or waxing was the best way to maintain the bikini line, then giggle like a sixteen-year-old girl when she learned about a "Brazilian wax" (or, as we say here at the Institute, "stem to stern") and note how "naughty" that seemed, I knew I had to go out and continue ABC's work illuminating the human condition.

What I observed that night at Las Margaritas Uptown (1035 East 17th Avenue) was that drinking in a group can be a highly dangerous undertaking. First, as each member arrives, there's an evaluation process of his or her appearance. People typically want to look their best in case someone present might want to join them in a regret for one night. On this occasion, several people were wearing their best "nice-ass jeans," a fashion device that I'd thought was only available to women until I realized that a few guys apparently had them on, even though no guy -- myself definitely included -- has any business drawing attention to said area.

Then, of course, there's the drinking. The best way to handle a group drunk is to get everyone there in a timely fashion so that no one is left behind. Since we had an early quorum, we launched an important group activity: shots. One of our members (I'm not sure whether he was wearing flattering jeans or not) took the first bold step, much like Christopher Columbus, and soon led the group on a tour of Mexico through a series of tequila shots. Several hundred years ago, when I had the physical reserves of a marathon runner, I was a huge fan of shots -- but after waking up in the bathtub one morning covered with the aftermath of a night of salt, Cuervo and the occasional lime, I couldn't sniff a Dorito without tasting tequila and gagging for hours. But now here I was in a group that wanted to do shots and, although not usually a slave to peer pressure, I didn't want anyone to make fun of me. So I joined the tour.

Unfortunately, some Institute members didn't arrive until later, when there was very little left that was recognizably human. These late-comers showed extraordinary restraint, because they knew there was no way they could get drunk enough to deal with people who would fight tooth and nail over the last chipful of guacamole. I will say that I am proud of the Jewish and Oriental representatives, who made a valiant effort to atone for their tardiness and quickly sank to our maturity level. But I also blame them for my massive hangover, because I stayed out way too late as they caught up.

The mob mentality often runs away with members of social organizations, even if they're more mild-mannered than Clark Kent. One moment you're pleasantly buzzed; then, in what seems like five minutes later, you're arriving at your fourth bar for that twentieth beer you just had to have. Don't get me wrong: We at the Institute are big fans of the group drunk, but we're trained professionals. Before you follow our lead, you need to consider who you're going out with and whether your destination will tolerate you. If not, you might be better off getting that long-postponed Brazilian.

**Miles D** · 08-19-2005, 08:57 PM

British people are crazy.

This one's trying to sail from Newfoundland to the UK isles in a "Kite Boat". The boat is only 14 feet long and powered by the pull of a kite.

No hurricanes are forecasted. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050819...n_050819162913

**Nyx** · 08-21-2005, 11:19 AM

Gwen Stefani decides to have a hissy fit.

More info here

DhammaSeeker · 08-22-2005, 12:01 PM

20202020202020202020

Darko · 08-22-2005, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miles D

British people are crazy.

This one's trying to sail from Newfoundland to the UK isles in a "Kite Boat". The boat is only 14 feet long and powered by the pull of a kite.

No hurricanes are forecasted. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050819...n_050819162913

Yes, as I live in britain, I can confirm that british people *are* crazy.

That reminds me of this bloke who tried to sail (I think it was across the channel) with a keg of beer and a roadmap. I can't remember the exact details of how it turned out, but I don't think it was great.

**Miles D** · 08-23-2005, 07:06 AM

http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/to...235074410.html

Televangelist Pat Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

Boy... somebody needs to go to church, more. And re-review the 10 commandments ""You shall not murder"

So what if it's a launching pad for Communism and Muslim extremism?

MetalRepublican · 08-23-2005, 08:43 AM

Nuns Gone Wild.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050823/...m/oukoe_uk_nun

Get a life jeezzzz.
http://www.wjxx.com/news/strange/new...?storyid=42802

Piano Man leaves hospital, may not have been sick after all. Well, in the head maybe.... Did he play the doctors? Sounds like a great title for a song he may write after his encounter.....
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...745454,00.html

Star Bock wins over Starbucks, cool...
http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory...olitan/3317685

Oayis · 08-23-2005, 10:26 AM

Warning to all lip-synchers! Don't go to Turkmenistan.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050823/...p_synching_ban

Cfw828 · 08-23-2005, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miles D

Televangelist Pat Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

Boy... somebody needs to go to church, more. And re-review the 10 commandments ""You shall not murder"

People like this and Fred Phelps make me question my Christianity.

Anywho...

50 Cent finds own face offensive

**Miles D** · 08-25-2005, 08:46 PM

Some wacko let an Alligator loose in a Los Angeles lake. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050825/...e_alligator_dc

So, the person who did got arrested and they had to bring people in from out of state to get it.

LA gators in L.A. Yikes!! Hope the gator doesn't get armadillo indigestion.

08-19-2005, 08:57 PM	#52 (permalink)
Miles D Mirrors are creepy! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Memphis, TN Age: 30 Posts: 2,965 Points: 389.00 Bank: 189,282.52 Total Points: 189,671.52 Donate	British people are crazy. This one's trying to sail from Newfoundland to the UK isles in a "Kite Boat". The boat is only 14 feet long and powered by the pull of a kite. No hurricanes are forecasted. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050819...n_050819162913 __________________ I recommend the new movie "Mirrors" ! ^Indeed!! I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' about!! My best friend Leslie said I'm just being Miles!

08-23-2005, 07:06 AM	#56 (permalink)
Miles D Mirrors are creepy! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Memphis, TN Age: 30 Posts: 2,965 Points: 389.00 Bank: 189,282.52 Total Points: 189,671.52 Donate	http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/to...235074410.html Televangelist Pat Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Boy... somebody needs to go to church, more. And re-review the 10 commandments ""You shall not murder" So what if it's a launching pad for Communism and Muslim extremism? __________________ I recommend the new movie "Mirrors" ! ^Indeed!! I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' about!! My best friend Leslie said I'm just being Miles!

08-23-2005, 08:43 AM	#57 (permalink)
MetalRepublican Glad to be back Join Date: Mar 2004 Age: 42 Posts: 1,617 Points: 4,312.92 Bank: 283.90 Total Points: 4,596.82 Donate	Nuns Gone Wild. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050823/...m/oukoe_uk_nun Get a life jeezzzz. http://www.wjxx.com/news/strange/new...?storyid=42802 Piano Man leaves hospital, may not have been sick after all. Well, in the head maybe.... Did he play the doctors? Sounds like a great title for a song he may write after his encounter..... http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...745454,00.html Star Bock wins over Starbucks, cool... http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory...olitan/3317685 __________________ "Your shadow is dark as should be your music." tMR "Golf courses are heaven. It's the only place where you can drink and drive and piss in public." tMR Visit me @ myspace http://www.myspace.com/themetalchef Visit www.multoc.com and http://www.myspace.com/multoc for information regarding their upcoming release.... Last edited by MetalRepublican : 08-23-2005 at 08:54 AM.

08-23-2005, 10:26 AM	#58 (permalink)
Oayis Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Philly, yo. Age: 18 Posts: 1,493 Points: 1,750.00 Bank: 311,835.94 Total Points: 313,585.94 Donate	Warning to all lip-synchers! Don't go to Turkmenistan. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050823/...p_synching_ban __________________ s i y a o Sucka.

08-25-2005, 08:46 PM	#60 (permalink)
Miles D Mirrors are creepy! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Memphis, TN Age: 30 Posts: 2,965 Points: 389.00 Bank: 189,282.52 Total Points: 189,671.52 Donate	Some wacko let an Alligator loose in a Los Angeles lake. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050825/...e_alligator_dc So, the person who did got arrested and they had to bring people in from out of state to get it. LA gators in L.A. Yikes!! Hope the gator doesn't get armadillo indigestion. __________________ I recommend the new movie "Mirrors" ! ^Indeed!! I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' about!! My best friend Leslie said I'm just being Miles!

08-21-2005, 11:19 AM	#53 (permalink)
Nyx Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Uhm... can't remember. Too much rum. Age: 18 Posts: 804 Points: 3.99 Bank: 129,964.22 Total Points: 129,968.21 Donate $\m/ - Fanat1c$	Gwen Stefani decides to have a hissy fit. More info here

08-22-2005, 12:01 PM	#54 (permalink)
DhammaSeeker Closer to Fine Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Denver, Colorado Age: 33 Posts: 2,312 Points: 15,647.53 Bank: 18,412.83 Total Points: 34,060.36 Donate	20202020202020202020