Raskull's litter box - Page 11 - EvBoard

Raskull · 01-28-2006, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemo

Just passively noticed- your lines have no endings, ever. Maybe thats your intention of endlessness or the infinite. If so- that works. If not- is there any intention behind your un-ending lines and thoughts?

Intention? Not exactly. Just, truthfully, I thought never ends, a poem never ends. They stay off to make other thoughts and other poems. Or, if that's too much to think about, never really bothered with endings and I'm not gonna start. Thanks for stopping by

Raskull · 02-03-2006, 09:53 PM

In the ground lay my dead
Out back there where the memories
Lie waiting and fading
All to be slowly washed away with dirt

This place I am now
It's just a prison cell
Locked somewhere
In the depths of hell

And as look around
On the unfamiliar winter ground
My stomach feels weak
I realize that I've become homesick

Through the hour glass
The sands of time passed me by
In the blink of an eye
I've lost myself

But I will never forget
What the sun feels like
Sitting and hidden inside the smoke
When hiding there was just a game

Raskull · 02-08-2006, 07:53 PM

Holy God... a title! A... shitty title but I honestly can't just these poem #123 because that ain't cool and I'm obviously cool... or not but read.

Blood thirsty
Sin laying in front of me
Gathered into an unprotected puddle
Greedly lapping up with my dirty mouth
Like the little bitch that I am

Trying to let it all out
But something grabs on tight
With razor claws
And I'm a captive in my own mind

This time, it's wrong
A road with too many dead ends
Wrong turn

Tell me I'm still breathing

You lead me with the kindest of hands
Trying to pull the worthless flesh
Out from the abyss
You can't let me go now!

Trying to sing my heart out
Unable to speak anything but hatred
So pure that angels would shudder
But not enough to satisfy my etrenal thirst

I'm a captive of my mind
Ashamed and vengeful
I will never escape her.

Raskull · 02-10-2006, 06:43 PM

It's shorter than it looks so please read. (Yes, I'm begging. But for someone to hear me not for compliments.)

Undying
Hollow, broken, undying solitude
Only company is myself and him
The torture they'll see
As they kick me down

The undying desperation
That feeling that says 'get away!'
Feelings that say run and hide
For them I cannot abide

SAVE ME

Never learned not to fear
Learned not to scream
In the sight of monsters
Trapped, stuck, conered

Cowering like a hurt puppy
Myself kicks me again
He's apon me
SAVE ME

From the shadow man
He made me filth like him
And he isn't done yet

I can't sleep in their so called safety
I'm already haunted
I've lost another fight to him

Never close my eyes again
In undying terror
My soul will not rest

SAVE ME

I can taste him and he's sick
But I always thought I deserve it
Because I'm sick too

Nikky · 02-10-2006, 08:14 PM

Wow... I loved your posts.
I write some, too... but they are in other thread.
They very likely yours too.
Very good job.

(:

Raskull · 02-17-2006, 10:55 PM

Thank you, dyingsoul.

Raskull loves you.
Yeah there is one line in which I say "fucking". A friend of mine says it throws the whole thing off.

Does anyone agree? And if so please explain cuz I don't get it.

Right
These cuts
Caused by a blind rage
A sudden outburst of emotion
A deadly combination of love and hate

The differance
Between me and the other animals
I can see, see the problem
I see this needs to stop

The thing that seperates
Me and the other animals
I want to get this right
Something likend okay

Illness and infection
Spread without passing by

Nearing the end
Can almost say I've made peace
Almost, but not there
I must make peace with those I love

But I feel bad
So bad
Cause I'm doing something
I've only done before in dreams

Stare down with you looking up
We know you're falling
Offer my hand but it's not taken
So one by one you all fall to oblivion

Last one standing in the end
Too late but far too early to say
I quit playing the fucking game
Before I got beat

So baby I know I'm right
I'm right here so keep playing
And I'll watch you all get slaughtered

Wildangel · 02-17-2006, 11:26 PM

Hey you... I'm liking this last one. It flows nicely. Among other things. I like it.

Raskull · 02-17-2006, 11:46 PM

Thanks

Your avatar is beautiful by the way.

Wildangel · 02-17-2006, 11:49 PM

No Problem. Sorry I'm not much better at critiquing. I pretty well suck at it. But I know what I like.

And thanks bout the Av comment. I stole it from someone on myspace.

Raskull · 02-18-2006, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TatersMomma

No Problem. Sorry I'm not much better at critiquing. I pretty well suck at it. But I know what I like.

And thanks bout the Av comment. I stole it from someone on myspace.

Some feedback is much better than none at all. lol and you're alot better than some.
I think I should clean out the thread some...

Tsk, tsk. I knew you stole it from someone.

02-03-2006, 09:53 PM	#102 (permalink)
Raskull So Tired Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where? Age: 17 Posts: 478 Points: 5,322.52 Bank: 4,108.78 Total Points: 9,431.30 Donate	In the ground lay my dead Out back there where the memories Lie waiting and fading All to be slowly washed away with dirt This place I am now It's just a prison cell Locked somewhere In the depths of hell And as look around On the unfamiliar winter ground My stomach feels weak I realize that I've become homesick Through the hour glass The sands of time passed me by In the blink of an eye I've lost myself But I will never forget What the sun feels like Sitting and hidden inside the smoke When hiding there was just a game __________________ Anger. The emotion of change. Kill for me. Last edited by Raskull : 02-04-2006 at 02:44 AM.

02-08-2006, 07:53 PM	#103 (permalink)
Raskull So Tired Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where? Age: 17 Posts: 478 Points: 5,322.52 Bank: 4,108.78 Total Points: 9,431.30 Donate	Holy God... a title! A... shitty title but I honestly can't just these poem #123 because that ain't cool and I'm obviously cool... or not but read. Blood thirsty Sin laying in front of me Gathered into an unprotected puddle Greedly lapping up with my dirty mouth Like the little bitch that I am Trying to let it all out But something grabs on tight With razor claws And I'm a captive in my own mind This time, it's wrong A road with too many dead ends Wrong turn Tell me I'm still breathing You lead me with the kindest of hands Trying to pull the worthless flesh Out from the abyss You can't let me go now! Trying to sing my heart out Unable to speak anything but hatred So pure that angels would shudder But not enough to satisfy my etrenal thirst I'm a captive of my mind Ashamed and vengeful I will never escape her. __________________ Anger. The emotion of change. Kill for me. Last edited by Raskull : 02-08-2006 at 07:55 PM.

02-10-2006, 06:43 PM	#104 (permalink)
Raskull So Tired Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where? Age: 17 Posts: 478 Points: 5,322.52 Bank: 4,108.78 Total Points: 9,431.30 Donate	It's shorter than it looks so please read. (Yes, I'm begging. But for someone to hear me not for compliments.) Undying Hollow, broken, undying solitude Only company is myself and him The torture they'll see As they kick me down The undying desperation That feeling that says 'get away!' Feelings that say run and hide For them I cannot abide SAVE ME Never learned not to fear Learned not to scream In the sight of monsters Trapped, stuck, conered Cowering like a hurt puppy Myself kicks me again He's apon me SAVE ME From the shadow man He made me filth like him And he isn't done yet I can't sleep in their so called safety I'm already haunted I've lost another fight to him Never close my eyes again In undying terror My soul will not rest SAVE ME I can taste him and he's sick But I always thought I deserve it Because I'm sick too __________________ Anger. The emotion of change. Kill for me.

02-10-2006, 08:14 PM	#105 (permalink)
Nikky dyingsoul (?) Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Curitiba (PR), Brazil Age: 18 Posts: 3,149 Points: 1,269.88 Bank: 7,197.91 Total Points: 8,467.79 Donate $'cause you're not underage anymore \o - supervixen$	Wow... I loved your posts. I write some, too... but they are in other thread. They very likely yours too. Very good job. (: __________________ Soul Embraced BR

02-17-2006, 10:55 PM	#106 (permalink)
Raskull So Tired Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where? Age: 17 Posts: 478 Points: 5,322.52 Bank: 4,108.78 Total Points: 9,431.30 Donate	Thank you, dyingsoul. Raskull loves you. Yeah there is one line in which I say "fucking". A friend of mine says it throws the whole thing off. Does anyone agree? And if so please explain cuz I don't get it. Right These cuts Caused by a blind rage A sudden outburst of emotion A deadly combination of love and hate The differance Between me and the other animals I can see, see the problem I see this needs to stop The thing that seperates Me and the other animals I want to get this right Something likend okay Illness and infection Spread without passing by Nearing the end Can almost say I've made peace Almost, but not there I must make peace with those I love But I feel bad So bad Cause I'm doing something I've only done before in dreams Stare down with you looking up We know you're falling Offer my hand but it's not taken So one by one you all fall to oblivion Last one standing in the end Too late but far too early to say I quit playing the fucking game Before I got beat So baby I know I'm right I'm right here so keep playing And I'll watch you all get slaughtered __________________ Anger. The emotion of change. Kill for me.

02-17-2006, 11:26 PM	#107 (permalink)
Wildangel Numb Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,534 Points: 40.07 Bank: 6,066,050.54 Total Points: 6,066,090.61 Donate	Hey you... I'm liking this last one. It flows nicely. Among other things. I like it. __________________

02-17-2006, 11:46 PM	#108 (permalink)
Raskull So Tired Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where? Age: 17 Posts: 478 Points: 5,322.52 Bank: 4,108.78 Total Points: 9,431.30 Donate	Thanks Your avatar is beautiful by the way. __________________ Anger. The emotion of change. Kill for me.

02-17-2006, 11:49 PM	#109 (permalink)
Wildangel Numb Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,534 Points: 40.07 Bank: 6,066,050.54 Total Points: 6,066,090.61 Donate	No Problem. Sorry I'm not much better at critiquing. I pretty well suck at it. But I know what I like. And thanks bout the Av comment. I stole it from someone on myspace. __________________

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