The last verse means the show starts and the actress has to forget her off stage drama and move on with the show but the crowd seem to notice her being upset. Of course that's a metaphor meaning when the day starts we can try and pretend nothing is wrong but people notice and mostly only want you to get over it so they can go on with their lives.

I know it's long and confusing but it's the best I can do.

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

A problem of harm
One can't fight with fists
Problems unsolved
That harm more than flesh

Something you can't drink away
Or cry and scream out
Internal desiese
Unstoppable

Helpless and weak
To this new found enemy
Sit and hide, knowing
This demon lies inside

Moving, distorting
Crushing ribs
Caving lungs
Smothering heart

So helpless and weak
Pinned down by fear
Infection is too strong
Nothing will dissolve or
End

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Hi. I've been in a slump but here's a little something. It's to someone who's been very close to me these past few years. God bless you. Hope you enjoy.


Nullify
Bitter blood pouring down my throat
Tainted hatred of our love
Guess he's the master of true lies
Endless memories stained with regrets

Could you not stand
To touch her flesh
Could you not stand
To hold her heart

Without tearing it

Could you not bare it
Seeing us lie in bed
Your heart could not bare
Let your violent lust overcome

A lion pounced apon its prey
Demolishing all that lay before it
Fuck her till she screams
Distruction in a sheep's wake

Now I know and you know
I'd wish you the deepest of peace
Hope your life is hell
The night runs red in your terror

Hope you wake up screaming
Wish I could sink a knife in your chest
Because you killed us

Could you not stand
To rip her flesh
Could you not stand
To shread her heart

Break your heart in two
Boy, that's not the worst I'll do
You'll wish you'd never been born
As much as I do

Disembodied thoughts
Seperate peices of a broken picture
Jagged slivers of deadly emotions
Carved into a single stone

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Nullify is the title because the poem is about trust and comfort in words that mean nothing now (or were nullified) by actions.

we'll have to wait and see on that.

You'd be pretty fuckin suprised.

it's no longer forbidden. Go check it out because it envolves this poem

I hope to write more soon but with all the shit I'm doing it's hard. Thanks for the reply though. Very supportive.

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Fuck my xanga. Like I ever say anything worthwhile anyway.

I'm too fucking lazy to turn these words into a poem or two so enjoy them, just as words and thoughts. The beginning of a poem that will never be written.


Troubled
Say you know a troubled child when you see one. Say I'm fucked up and wrong. I'm sick, you say. It only hurts because it's true. I've been lost and blind for so long. Angry and sorrowful, because happiness is just too fearsome. So lonely within myself until you manage to open me again.

Yet I can not shake the terriable image from my head. The one I trusted for so long... Atop you as you push and beg and scream for my help! It's so much easier, my love, to hate him than myself. If you don't allow it then I know not what to do. Because once again I was lost and scared.

Say you're ready to give up. And I stuggle to keep the tears from falling as you ask for your heart back. As I gently tug it from my chest I feel so alone and empty that I can no longer hold in my sobs. Don't feel bad for me, baby. I never asked for this pity. Though I don't know why, you place your heart in my hands and hold me till my cries subside.

Yet I can't shake the image from my heart. A life without your hand, your heartbeat, your breath, and your sweet voice. I was scared. Because I know I don't deserve it. I will work hard to be worthy of such a woman. Should I die trying, at least I have tried. Show me I don't have to be afraid anymore. Tell me everything will be alright. Let me breathe this fresh air with you by my side. I don't have to be afraid.

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Too lazy? It's beautiful prose, sweetie. I can feel it pulsing with so much emotion.

I can't close my eyes anymore
And I sleep
But I don't dream
Laying just outside desiese

Just minutes away
From damnation
Or eternal freedom
Can't escape, can't breathe

Submerged in all my fears
Fighing unending
All's in vain, I know
And I can't close my eyes anymore

Want to drop my sword
Surrender my head
But it's impossiable
I can't close my eyes

Hold me close
Whisper misty words in my ear
Make it all okay till another day
So I can close my eyes and dream

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Eh. Basically the meaning is "I really want to be stoned because reality fucking sucks but don't let me start cuz it's bad." Don't you love poetry?


Homicide
Forgiveness is letting go
Not hating and holding on

Manslaughter
Seems a fine punishment
Baby boy

Oh Baby boy
Did I raise you fine enough
Make you man enough
Prey on your mind enough?

Was your heart torn in two
Turn away from us and our kind
Your bastard physical essence
Won't be so pretty long

Force it but it doesn't work
She hurt you baby boy
Looking for a man to kiss it
Make it all better?

Do you sit and pray at night
That the chains will hold me
As your skeleton arms have

My spirit smouldering on the cross
Together you put me up here
Can you imagin baby boy

Old Scratch, I hope
Will have a hell of a time
Punishing your decaying soul

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Man is not good enough for murder but more for slaughter. Homicide because that is the direct feeling the poem is inspired by. You know bad days where you want to rip someone's head off? There you go, a poem.

Do you sit and pray at night
That the chains will hold me
As your skeleton arms have

That verse, if you know me personally and you can figure it out, reveals 2 important things. And actually if you know me personally you can very easily figure out who "baby boy" would be. But I won't say anymore.

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.

Mother!
Who's that?
No one.

My fights and wars
Destroy the world around
All missing their true target

In months time
Ill be free of your grip
But into the ruins
Unstable, untrusted

Tired, Worn, Weak
Still fighting
Vainly fleeing
Running to her again

Boiling over
I fight the nearest one
My angel cripled
From my hate for you

Locked away
Forgotten by all but
The angel I beg to stay

You have done this to me
Yes, in months time
Ill be safe and free

The the thought scares me
After all
I am your offspring

__________________
One day I'll be able to kiss her in public without wondering what the cost is.
Breathe for me.