hey! welcome to my poetry/lyrics/stories thread! i used to post on here quite often, but i haven't for a little while...
here's one of my latest, it needs some work, so any critique is highly appreciated! thanx!

Night Can't Erase The Day

It's amazing the world has not been flooded
By the water that pours from eyes day after day.
And it's amazing that hearts can keep on beating
Even though they've been shattered or thrown away.
Oh, the imperfection of this world
That leaves its scars that we all have to bear.
And, sometimes, it seems like too much to hold on to
Too much to keep going without stopping for rest.

Yet..
Bridge:
You gave me a promise long ago
That I know You will keep for forever.
And because of the life You gave up for me,
I have a place to go when this earth is no more.

Chorus:
One day, I'll be in a place
Where every tear is wiped away.
So soon, I'll be in a place
Where night can't erase the day.
But, till then, I'll wait
For the day when that day comes.
But, oh, I can't wait for that day
When You'll take me home.

This world gets older with every breath I take,
And eternity may be just a moment away.
I look to the sky knowing You're watching me and
Keeping Your children safe under Your wing.
You're preparing a kingdom that my feet don't deserve to tread,
And, yet, it's the place I will live in with You.
Oh, that day when I can breathe in Your presence and
Find rest for my soul in Your arms.

Because..

Bridge

Chorus

Hey just wrote this...haha, it's a little cheesy, but i hope you guys enjoy it.


It's So Cliche

How do you do that with such simple words?
I want to be looking anywhere but in your eyes.
But, like weight to gravity, I can't ignore your pull.
And you don't even mean to,
But you trap me in this place.
And I've attempted to leave,
But these borders have been built
Far too high for me to scale.
And it seems that you don't even notice
The captive that you've taken hold of.
Oh,

And it's so cliche
I hate that it's so true.
It's so cliche, but I'll say it anyway.
I
love
you.

I've never been so defenseless.
This fighter is not used to being disarmed.
Yet, though I'm scared senseless and
Am so vulnerable,
There's a strange sense of security
In this foreign land.
But, oh,
Having no posession of control
Sends adrenaline through my veins.
But maybe, for once,
I should put down my shield
And look into the face of the thing
I've tried so hard to defeat.
Oh,

And it's so cliche
I laugh because it's true
It's so cliche, but I'll say it anway
I
love
you.

Yeah, it's so cliche
And , for once, it's true.
It's so cliche, but I'll tell you anyway.
I
love
you.

I
love
you.

It's funny how I picked up this pen
And searched around for a scrap of paper,
Thinking that the moment
Was ever so inspiring.
That I could just let the words flow out
Almost unconciously,
And make some beautiful work of poetry
Without even a second thought.
So, why is it, then,
Now that I'm in the most perfect position
To make a piece of art out of words,
That I can't seem to find anything
To jot down on this sheet of white?
I would love to blame it on writer's block,
But that would just be dishonest.
And lying to myself
Has never gotten me very far.
In reality, the truth is
That I have plenty of thoughts that I wish to spill
All over this empty page,
But some sort of fear restrains me
From breaking the dam of my emotions.
And it's so pathetic,
But I know exactly what I'm afraid of...


What if you were to read it?

I love this last line, almost as punctuation on your poetry. I think the very real fear that when we expose ourselves, even if it's just to get things off our chests , is so palpable sometimes that we hold back. Nicely done. This moved me.

thanx for reading!

Dream...Come True??

I had a dream about you last night.
It made me smile
And sigh
When I woke up.

We walked around in each other's arms,
Conversing about our everyday lives
While our faces gently brushed together.

It seemed so strangely real to my unconcious mind;
I was shocked when I woke up
And realized that our precious moments
Were just figments of my imagination.

Though I wish to be grateful for the time we shared
In the midst of a nighttime illusion,
A question brings a slight frown to my face:

Can a sleeping fantasy be true,
Or are these feelings I have for you

Only a dream?

Wow, very nicely done! I know exactly what you're talking about here. Good word choice, too.

"Dream... Come True?" is a sweet piece, too. Full of reminiscence and yearning. Here's my favorite stanza from it:
Though I wish to be grateful for the time we shared
In the midst of a nighttime illusion,
A question brings a slight frown to my face

__________________
Come join!

thanx for your comments! They are highly appreciated

Desert Storm

The smell of wet dirt is in the air
Just one of many signals
That rain is about to invade this place.
It's a beautiful rarity in this desert home,
And though the sudden bursts of lightning
And the interruptive thunder
Bring forth gasps from my mouth at times,
I wouldn't trade this surprise summer shower
For the typical sunny day
And it's familiar warmth upon my skin.

This weather is kind of like you.

Without invitation, you entered my heart
And drenched it with your sweet, cooling words.
My world is not used to being changed
From one forecast to another so quickly,
And yet, though I never know where you'll strike next,
(It's never the same place twice)
I find myself entranced within this unpredictable torrent.

But storms never last forever.

That last one presented a very interesting idea, but I do have one suggestion...maybe make the tranisition from where you're talking about the storm to talking about the person a little smoother...as it is, it's kind of an abrupt change, and the reader is kind of like..."wait, what?" But otherwise, very good. Nice job!

I must say, "Night Can't Erase the Day" was a delight! And those lines listed above are my favorites. Your imagery, emotion, and artistry is very well conveyed here! Nothing I could correct.

"It's So Cliche" spoke to me as well. I read it as if reciting a monologue, and it has quite a good feel to the tongue. Excellent.

And my favorite would have to be "Desert Storm". Your imagery and word choice are charming. I absolutely loved it, and honestly, I think it's flawless. Keep it up!

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Princess Kitty Alexandrovna Scherbatsky - Nostalgia