~river's scribblings - EvBoard

~river~ · 04-07-2006, 08:47 PM

ok the intorduction for me to my stuff is hard as i want of course people to read it and view it

my writting is my way to explore my thoughts feelings etc based around my family life. i don't open up much so my writting is my way to express myself hidden behind imagery. i have been slack but i have also finally gotten around to adding photos. i truly hope other people get something out of my writting as i know there are others who feel alone and lost when things at home aren't so great.

so here goes alot of these are from last year.
this is i have to say my favourite of what i have written, i find something in it im not sure what. i hope you like it as much as i do..
Fragile Porcelain

Perfect porcelain
As fragile as it
Seems

All stare as you
Move in place
Bound to your
Convention

Porcelain broken by
A resounding echo
Deep within itself
The beginning hides

First word~ imbedded
In truth
Transformed into
The whisper which we
Believe we hear

All listen as you
Scream your fury
Bound to your emotions

The echo fades
Another starts
A battle a quest
For what lies beneath

Whoever wins
Whoever loses
Are we still ignorant
Do we hide
Deep within
An echo
Lost with the beginning

Perfect porcelain,
Cracked china
Losses value
As it wears the
mark of abuse

Not perfect, never will be
Was never made of
Fragile porcelain

~river~ · 04-07-2006, 08:51 PM

Hello to one so far from me
Removed by time,
Removed by sea
Distance stretched past what an
Open eye can see.

Isolated by more then words
Removed by dreams
Removed by prayers
Reaching to a space to far
For grasping hands to hold

Tension builds and fades
Removed by smiles
Removed by laughter
Beacon of hope
Truth shines through

Wishing wanting willing
Lost in a phantom embrace

Awake to your dreaming
Sleeping through your life

Raw emotions gaping wounds
Healed by warmth with an
Unseen smile

The void is closing
Spaces folds in
Distance isn’t so far
When one feels so close
To another

ajchz · 04-07-2006, 09:48 PM

ok, ok...
Your stuff is AWASOME thanks a lot for post it here!
Nice stuff, I'm going to see everytime when you update it!
really congratulations!

~river~ · 04-08-2006, 05:12 AM

ajchz, thankyou so much what you said has given me the confidence i need to post more. to hear someone like your stuff is a great feeling.

this is one of my not so great works but all the same it is important to me and my change in writing. it has to do with my form of coping with family fights and i think there are pretty obivous references to it.

PAINT ME

Shattered glass
A broken frame
The smiling faces
The ones to blame

The quite
The clam
The peace before
The thunder storm

A broken bomb
An empty threat
The fear still felt
The blast still there

Hollow inside
Yet filled to the brim
The same old feelings
Rise again

The colour of passion
The colour of hate
The colour of pain
So paint me red

The colour of strength
Of strong emotions
So paint me red

I am red inside and out

The storm arrives
My veins are flowing
The colour red
It spreads throughout
My hollow body

~river~ · 04-08-2006, 05:22 AM

another one i am on a role. or just typing up all my old collection.
this one has a an original title... it is my observations of human society or just some factions

FORSAKEN

The forsaken
Branded waiting in a line
Faces blank but worn
All hopes and dreams
Lost on the wayside

The chained
Broken where they stand
Sorrowful and hopeless
All freedom and peace
Stolen as the cry

The young grow old
The old grow weary
The weary fade
Slipping between the cracks
All fade with the dusk

High speed, fast forwarding through
Aging to fast
Losing control
Missing the vital signs

The young grow old
The old grow weary
The weary fade
Slipping between the cracks
All fade with the dusk

Lessons go unlearned
Teaching and growing the hard way
So much hurt so much
The same
~no evolution
~a repeat occurs

The young grow old
The old grow weary
The weary fade
Slipping between the cracks
All fade with the dusk

The sun rises
The forsaken continue their routine
Asleep inside always asleep.

OdeToTheMuse · 04-08-2006, 06:22 AM

Great stuff there!! My favorite one's "forsaken"! The adjectives make it sound interesting and beautiful!

that's my favorite passage:

The chained
Broken where they stand
Sorrowful and hopeless
All freedom and peace
Stolen as the cry

keep it up!
<33
Claudine

Allius · 04-08-2006, 11:01 PM

Wow river your good.Your writing is wonderfull.I especilaly liked paint me.Im no stranger to family fights and i have to say you captured the feeling realy well.I like how you used the calm before a storm to explaing the moments before a fight you know is comming.Thats exactly what is like!Its that freakish silence that at any other time would be peacefull but then its the most frightening noise you've ever heard.Just like the beautifull weather you think is perfect when a storm attacks out of nowhere and takes you by surprise you learn what that complete silence means and it makes you woried.You did an amazing job.Thank you!

~river~ · 04-09-2006, 07:48 PM

i want to thank Claudine and Allius for the positive comments.

this is another one i have had for a while it has been occassionally edited but most of the structure remains the same from the original work. sake of a soul was partially inspired by a line of lyrics from a red hot chili pepper song. can't remember the song or what album. however the words i used have branched so far from the lyrics. again like paint me this one was used as another coping mechanism not only family fights but dealing with my sisters annorexia when all i wanted to do was remove myself from my family and my pain.

the name isn't that original and i have known it by to names
either or. if anyone can come up with a better name or even decide between the two i think i would be mightaly grateful
SOULFULL or SOULLESS

Sake of a soul
Why do you care
To be free of your pain and guilt
To lose your grip of reality

I wonder why I want it out
I wonder why I care
When you don’t seem to care about
The destruction left behind

Survival without a soul
A world without a damn
To live within the fire
A cross must now bear

I want that world
I want to burn
The heat
The pain would be relief
To the mindless numb
I suffer when I realise
What and who I’ve been

The passion of the crime
The power of chaos
I crave that life
The life without a soul

For a soul only holds you back
It only makes you feel
It holds you reality

The sake of a soul
I wonder how to live without
I wonder how to feel
I wonder what would be left of me
What would remain
Of a hollow empty shell

myimmortalenemy · 04-09-2006, 11:46 PM

Hi River...
I see you posted some great poems. There's a lot of talent here.
I love how you're wording your work. There's a definate sense of emotion behind each of them. You're also awsome with the imagery, I love Fragile Porcelain, the things I imagine there I can truly see clearly. Your poems also have a very rhymitic flow, which is like a grade A in my book

As for a suggestion for the last poem, I would go with Soulless b/c of the last two lines, but I think it's entirely up to you.

I hope to see more of your work soon, I totally like what I'm reading.

ajchz · 04-11-2006, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~river~

ajchz, thankyou so much what you said has given me the confidence i need to post more. to hear someone like your stuff is a great feeling.

Don't worry guy!! i really like your stuff!!!
and when you have more post it, because i really enjoy read it!

Paint me is awasome!!! I love it!
A broken bomb
An empty threat
The fear still felt
The blast still there

04-07-2006, 08:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
~river~ Likes Stilts! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,785 Points: 860.85 Bank: 113,665.59 Total Points: 114,526.44 Donate	~river's scribblings ok the intorduction for me to my stuff is hard as i want of course people to read it and view it my writting is my way to explore my thoughts feelings etc based around my family life. i don't open up much so my writting is my way to express myself hidden behind imagery. i have been slack but i have also finally gotten around to adding photos. i truly hope other people get something out of my writting as i know there are others who feel alone and lost when things at home aren't so great. so here goes alot of these are from last year. this is i have to say my favourite of what i have written, i find something in it im not sure what. i hope you like it as much as i do.. Fragile Porcelain Perfect porcelain As fragile as it Seems All stare as you Move in place Bound to your Convention Porcelain broken by A resounding echo Deep within itself The beginning hides First word~ imbedded In truth Transformed into The whisper which we Believe we hear All listen as you Scream your fury Bound to your emotions The echo fades Another starts A battle a quest For what lies beneath Whoever wins Whoever loses Are we still ignorant Do we hide Deep within An echo Lost with the beginning Perfect porcelain, Cracked china Losses value As it wears the mark of abuse Not perfect, never will be Was never made of Fragile porcelain __________________ There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you. Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of Joy are drifting thorough my open mind Last edited by ~river~ : 05-20-2006 at 06:17 PM.

04-07-2006, 08:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
~river~ Likes Stilts! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,785 Points: 860.85 Bank: 113,665.59 Total Points: 114,526.44 Donate	Hello to one so far from me Removed by time, Removed by sea Distance stretched past what an Open eye can see. Isolated by more then words Removed by dreams Removed by prayers Reaching to a space to far For grasping hands to hold Tension builds and fades Removed by smiles Removed by laughter Beacon of hope Truth shines through Wishing wanting willing Lost in a phantom embrace Awake to your dreaming Sleeping through your life Raw emotions gaping wounds Healed by warmth with an Unseen smile The void is closing Spaces folds in Distance isn’t so far When one feels so close To another __________________ There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you. Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of Joy are drifting thorough my open mind Last edited by ~river~ : 05-20-2006 at 06:17 PM.

04-07-2006, 09:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
ajchz Pura Vida Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Costa Rica Age: 20 Posts: 4,359 Points: 5,706.01 Bank: 3,213.16 Total Points: 8,919.17 Donate	ok, ok... Your stuff is AWASOME thanks a lot for post it here! Nice stuff, I'm going to see everytime when you update it! really congratulations! __________________ Costa Rican Evanescence's Official Fan Club ♣ ~ It's True You Are a Little Insane ~ ♣

04-08-2006, 05:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
~river~ Likes Stilts! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,785 Points: 860.85 Bank: 113,665.59 Total Points: 114,526.44 Donate	ajchz, thankyou so much what you said has given me the confidence i need to post more. to hear someone like your stuff is a great feeling. this is one of my not so great works but all the same it is important to me and my change in writing. it has to do with my form of coping with family fights and i think there are pretty obivous references to it. PAINT ME Shattered glass A broken frame The smiling faces The ones to blame The quite The clam The peace before The thunder storm A broken bomb An empty threat The fear still felt The blast still there Hollow inside Yet filled to the brim The same old feelings Rise again The colour of passion The colour of hate The colour of pain So paint me red The colour of strength Of strong emotions So paint me red I am red inside and out The storm arrives My veins are flowing The colour red It spreads throughout My hollow body __________________ There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you. Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of Joy are drifting thorough my open mind

04-08-2006, 05:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
~river~ Likes Stilts! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,785 Points: 860.85 Bank: 113,665.59 Total Points: 114,526.44 Donate	another one i am on a role. or just typing up all my old collection. this one has a an original title... it is my observations of human society or just some factions FORSAKEN The forsaken Branded waiting in a line Faces blank but worn All hopes and dreams Lost on the wayside The chained Broken where they stand Sorrowful and hopeless All freedom and peace Stolen as the cry The young grow old The old grow weary The weary fade Slipping between the cracks All fade with the dusk High speed, fast forwarding through Aging to fast Losing control Missing the vital signs The young grow old The old grow weary The weary fade Slipping between the cracks All fade with the dusk Lessons go unlearned Teaching and growing the hard way So much hurt so much The same ~no evolution ~a repeat occurs The young grow old The old grow weary The weary fade Slipping between the cracks All fade with the dusk The sun rises The forsaken continue their routine Asleep inside always asleep. __________________ There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you. Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of Joy are drifting thorough my open mind

04-08-2006, 06:22 AM	#6 (permalink)
OdeToTheMuse Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: I am floatin' in serenity... Age: 18 Posts: 713 Points: 123.16 Bank: 1,210.48 Total Points: 1,333.63 Donate	Great stuff there!! My favorite one's "forsaken"! The adjectives make it sound interesting and beautiful! that's my favorite passage: The chained Broken where they stand Sorrowful and hopeless All freedom and peace Stolen as the cry keep it up! <33 Claudine __________________ DeviantArt. FlickR. ArtThread.

04-08-2006, 11:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
Allius Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NY Age: 19 Posts: 65 Points: 333.07 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 333.07 Donate	Wow river your good.Your writing is wonderfull.I especilaly liked paint me.Im no stranger to family fights and i have to say you captured the feeling realy well.I like how you used the calm before a storm to explaing the moments before a fight you know is comming.Thats exactly what is like!Its that freakish silence that at any other time would be peacefull but then its the most frightening noise you've ever heard.Just like the beautifull weather you think is perfect when a storm attacks out of nowhere and takes you by surprise you learn what that complete silence means and it makes you woried.You did an amazing job.Thank you!

04-09-2006, 07:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
~river~ Likes Stilts! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,785 Points: 860.85 Bank: 113,665.59 Total Points: 114,526.44 Donate	i want to thank Claudine and Allius for the positive comments. this is another one i have had for a while it has been occassionally edited but most of the structure remains the same from the original work. sake of a soul was partially inspired by a line of lyrics from a red hot chili pepper song. can't remember the song or what album. however the words i used have branched so far from the lyrics. again like paint me this one was used as another coping mechanism not only family fights but dealing with my sisters annorexia when all i wanted to do was remove myself from my family and my pain. the name isn't that original and i have known it by to names either or. if anyone can come up with a better name or even decide between the two i think i would be mightaly grateful SOULFULL or SOULLESS Sake of a soul Why do you care To be free of your pain and guilt To lose your grip of reality I wonder why I want it out I wonder why I care When you don’t seem to care about The destruction left behind Survival without a soul A world without a damn To live within the fire A cross must now bear I want that world I want to burn The heat The pain would be relief To the mindless numb I suffer when I realise What and who I’ve been The passion of the crime The power of chaos I crave that life The life without a soul For a soul only holds you back It only makes you feel It holds you reality The sake of a soul I wonder how to live without I wonder how to feel I wonder what would be left of me What would remain Of a hollow empty shell __________________ There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you. Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of Joy are drifting thorough my open mind

04-09-2006, 11:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
myimmortalenemy Sex Muffin Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: There, There Age: 18 Posts: 887 Points: 1,302.53 Bank: 13,504.11 Total Points: 14,806.64 Donate	Hi River... I see you posted some great poems. There's a lot of talent here. I love how you're wording your work. There's a definate sense of emotion behind each of them. You're also awsome with the imagery, I love Fragile Porcelain, the things I imagine there I can truly see clearly. Your poems also have a very rhymitic flow, which is like a grade A in my book As for a suggestion for the last poem, I would go with Soulless b/c of the last two lines, but I think it's entirely up to you. I hope to see more of your work soon, I totally like what I'm reading.