Sara's Poetry & Crap - EvBoard

Exponential Decay · 06-26-2008, 08:37 PM

So I guess I'll start a poetry thread!

Here's a poem I wrote yesterday. It was sort of inspired by Evanescence's "Like You." It's sort of simple, but it's written about my child-like reaction to my Grandma's death, so the simplicity of it is sort of a given.

Dreamless Sleep

Please breathe
In your dreamless sleep
Like a child who cannot comprehend, silently I plead
Please breathe

Haunted by an illusion
Games played by my mind
A voice I swear I hear
A soft echo, sweet and kind

You lie forever in a dreamless sleep
Cold with no breath
Can my words reach you
Even through the veil of death?

I watch you in your dreamless sleep
Like a small child, silently I plead
Please breathe, Grandma
Please please please breathe.

BleedingRose<3 · 06-26-2008, 10:09 PM

i liked it alot

i liked how you could kind of feel sadness and hopeless wishing as you read it. Good job

Exponential Decay · 06-27-2008, 09:03 AM

Thanks! I'll be posting more of my poetry here when I get the time.

BleedingRose<3 · 06-27-2008, 12:41 PM

ok that sounds good. I cant waite

Crysalis · 06-27-2008, 06:36 PM

Good poetry,i write songs and poems but i don't have the courage to write them HERE in evboard.I admire you're not ashamed to show your feelings, good work.
And maybe soon i will write part of my work , but i'm sure i would be deleted because my songs and poems are TOO HOT or crimson if you want something more elegant.

06-26-2008, 08:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
Exponential Decay Formerly SaraLW Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: West Virginia Posts: 146 Points: 1,080.52 Bank: 15,534.48 Total Points: 16,615.00 Donate	Sara's Poetry & Crap So I guess I'll start a poetry thread! Here's a poem I wrote yesterday. It was sort of inspired by Evanescence's "Like You." It's sort of simple, but it's written about my child-like reaction to my Grandma's death, so the simplicity of it is sort of a given. Dreamless Sleep Please breathe In your dreamless sleep Like a child who cannot comprehend, silently I plead Please breathe Haunted by an illusion Games played by my mind A voice I swear I hear A soft echo, sweet and kind You lie forever in a dreamless sleep Cold with no breath Can my words reach you Even through the veil of death? I watch you in your dreamless sleep Like a small child, silently I plead Please breathe, Grandma Please please please breathe. __________________

06-26-2008, 10:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
BleedingRose<3 Artistic Spirit Join Date: May 2008 Location: Alabama Age: 16 Posts: 43 Points: 4,276.67 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,276.67 Donate	i liked it alot i liked how you could kind of feel sadness and hopeless wishing as you read it. Good job __________________ My wounds cry for the grave My soul cries for deliverance Will I be denied Christ Tourniquet My suicide......

06-27-2008, 09:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
Exponential Decay Formerly SaraLW Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: West Virginia Posts: 146 Points: 1,080.52 Bank: 15,534.48 Total Points: 16,615.00 Donate	Thanks! I'll be posting more of my poetry here when I get the time. __________________

06-27-2008, 12:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
BleedingRose<3 Artistic Spirit Join Date: May 2008 Location: Alabama Age: 16 Posts: 43 Points: 4,276.67 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,276.67 Donate	ok that sounds good. I cant waite __________________ My wounds cry for the grave My soul cries for deliverance Will I be denied Christ Tourniquet My suicide......

06-27-2008, 06:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
Crysalis Tolerant Of All Opinions Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Sucking a Tuomas kiss. Age: 21 Posts: 399 Points: 2,261.33 Bank: 7,518.18 Total Points: 9,779.52 Donate	Good poetry,i write songs and poems but i don't have the courage to write them HERE in evboard.I admire you're not ashamed to show your feelings, good work. And maybe soon i will write part of my work , but i'm sure i would be deleted because my songs and poems are TOO HOT or crimson if you want something more elegant. __________________ http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/3...114742fdm4.jpg "it's better to burn out than to fade away.I've become hateful towards all humans in general"

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