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Old 04-20-2008, 01:03 PM   #21 (permalink)
AdamantEsuna
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This is all pretty confusing. But I'm pretty sure it's not just "behavior problems", because I just feel depressed and all that, but I'm not nasty or disrespectful to people, I'm maybe a little withdrawn and quieter, but the periods when I don't feel depressed, I just go back to normal. And if it was behaviour problems would I not be able to control it then? Would I not be just acting out? Believe me, this has really been hurting my social life, particularily at school, where I used to be really friendly and outgoing, but I'm now very shy and quiet. I just want to be back to normal, so I can have the energy to hang out with people more like I used to.
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Old 04-20-2008, 01:38 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I will start pacing around my room, and I will often have the need for extremely loud music. Which will then have my mom or stepdad start a fight w/ me, which will result in alot of screaming and will strangely actually calm me down. I'm totally frantic when suffering from a mania attack, and I will usually feel the need to destroy something, either cut myself or smash or throw something. I've had to stop myself multiple times from punching a whole in my wall/window.

[...]

But let me explain, my Mom knows I'm depressed. I've told her multiple times that I want medication or some form of help. But she doesn't seem to take me seriously, she just says "oh ya, we will sometime" or "its not that important" and please dont tell me to try to talk with her, because I hate her, and she truly doesn't care about me.
See now, from my personal perspective this sort of thing DOES fit the category of puberty/teenage-behaviour-problems, etc. And in my opinion, teenagers can control their attitudes much better than they let on, they just choose to act out instead. I mean, that whole bit I quoted specifically sounds like you're out to pick a fight or that you're at least just out for yourself and disrespecting the other people around you. Teenagers do that; they don't adapt to situations and are typically self-absorbed/involved.

This is why it's important to actually get a real diagnosis so you can start looking at the problem realistically; otherwise, there's no way for any of us to come at the situation and no what to recommend. You may have something more serious going on so that you need tools and advice to help you deal with certain situations; however, you may just be going through the throws of adolescence. But your first priority is to figure out whether or not there's something going on that you can't control, because you don't know that.
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Old 04-20-2008, 01:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by AdamantEsuna View Post
This is all pretty confusing. But I'm pretty sure it's not just "behavior problems", because I just feel depressed and all that, but I'm not nasty or disrespectful to people, I'm maybe a little withdrawn and quieter, but the periods when I don't feel depressed, I just go back to normal.
Please don't think I'm doubting the validity of what you're feeling, just clearing up some confusion for you.

I don't think anyone called it a behavior problem, but for something to be diagnosed there have to be accompanying behaviors. That does not make it a behavior problem, disorder or anything other than a behavior.

Quote:
And if it was behaviour problems would I not be able to control it then?
Can you control blinking? Sure, for a few minutes, but other than that, no you really can't. Blinking is a behavior.

Behaviors for the most part are not controllable. Well I should say a majority of the behaviors you perform daily are uncontrollable.

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Would I not be just acting out?
You are acting out. You're not screaming and hitting someone or cursing and biting but withdrawing yourself from something you normally would enjoy, you are having an abnormal behavior. (I say abnormal because in theory it is not socially acceptable, hence where bad behaviors are defined.)

A behavior is not bad, a behavior is what you do. Me typing right now, that is a behavior. You being sad is not a behavior, it's an emotion but what you do as a result of that emotion, what is observable, that is a behavior.

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Believe me, this has really been hurting my social life, particularily at school, where I used to be really friendly and outgoing, but I'm now very shy and quiet. I just want to be back to normal, so I can have the energy to hang out with people more like I used to.
I really hope you find the help you need, let us know how it goes. You definitely need to seek out professional help from non-internet sources.
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Old 04-20-2008, 01:52 PM   #24 (permalink)
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You are acting out. You're not screaming and hitting someone or cursing and biting but withdrawing yourself from something you normally would enjoy, you are having an abnormal behavior. (I say abnormal because in theory it is not socially acceptable, hence where bad behaviors are defined.)
Withdrawing from social situations isn't abnormal because it's not socially acceptable. It's abnormal because it's not normal. Humans are social creatures; we cease to thrive without constant human contact. It's not about being acceptable or not, that's what we are... and to withdraw completely is counterproductive to living a fulfilling and meaningful life.
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Old 04-20-2008, 03:00 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Withdrawing from social situations isn't abnormal because it's not socially acceptable. It's abnormal because it's not normal. Humans are social creatures; we cease to thrive without constant human contact. It's not about being acceptable or not, that's what we are... and to withdraw completely is counterproductive to living a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Abnormal behavior is defined by what is not socially acceptable. It's not socially acceptable to withdraw from social situations because, yes, humans are social creatures. It's the same thing. It's abnormal because it is not socially acceptable.
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Old 04-20-2008, 07:07 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Abnormal behavior is defined by what is not socially acceptable. It's not socially acceptable to withdraw from social situations because, yes, humans are social creatures. It's the same thing. It's abnormal because it is not socially acceptable.
It's not a standard created by society; it's a standard created by nature. While it may be the same thing, it certainly doesn't come off that way. Saying it's not socially acceptable would mean that standard is based on majority opinion rather than empirical fact. I just felt that stating it that way implied the wrong thing.
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Old 05-19-2008, 01:12 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Where you ever diagnosed with Bipolar? I know you don't want anyone telling you to talk to your mom...but maybe if you sit down with her (alone) and tell her how serious it is, and explain to her that you really do want help for it, she might take it into consideration and maybe she will take you to a doctor to see about medication. She won't back out on you if she knows that you really need her here with you right now. She'll be there for you. Just give her a chance.
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