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United States of America, looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies that save the trees and kill the children

But You called me beautiful when you saw my shame
And You placed me on the wall...anyway...

I think it is possible to have a relationship without having sex, most definately. Is sex the most important part about any relationship? IMO, I believe talking and understanding are more important than sex.
I guess if a couple chose not to have sex, they obviously wouldn't want children, and think there is more to a healthy relationship than intercourse.

I haven't been in any sexual relationship yet, so I can't really say how I would 'cope' in a relationship without sex, but I certainly believe it can be done!

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...thanks. I think.

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kind of like panning for gold. you have to sift through a lot of worthess dirt(bags) and a few fools gold types before you find the rignt one.

as for finding the right type: as obvious as it may seem, focusing the majority of your energies on looking in places where the "right" types tend to gravitate is, at least to me, a very major step in finding the right one.

i have no knowledge of your religious convictions/attitudes, but i would certainly suggust that if you are a member of an orginised religion, social events sponsored by it, or outside groups with similar principals, are very good places to start simply for the fact that the folks there are much more likely to share your convictions that the folks you would meet at places like clubs and bars. (nothing against clubs and bars, BTW, fun places if your there for the right reasons)

that and if you have a good idea of what your looking for, trust your instincts. after interacting with someone for a while, you'll have a very good idea of what kind of a person they are, minus any jeykell and hyde tendancies. if they dont feel rignt, dont force yourself to stay just because your afraid of being alone again for awhile. the world is full of lots of people.

as far as after marriage goes,, i do belive you'll find that loving someone and becoming romanically atached without sex is a good thing for two reasons:

1: as said by others here, the sex is sweeter!!! and important as part of your romantic relationship.

2. WHEN the sex drive cools off, and it will, there is still someone there to love and be friends with.

good luck!!!!

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"What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you. "-Nietzsche

My original songs and other stuff updated 1-8-2006

Formerly known as Computwitch

Sex is a skill.

Practicing a skill = being better at the skill, more open to other possibilities (on average), and being better with your partner. Some things one learns predominantly through partners who have been involved in such before or one only realizes are possible with a partner who has a particular skill set.

Finally, it helps when your partner is sexually frustrated and does not know why (or you are, for that matter). Experience helps with diagnosing the problem and ascertaining the solution (which can range to lubricant or needing more/less foreplay to needing to be dominated or needing to dominate, it varies by the person).

Simply put, it is fun. I believe that if you do settle for one person, who want to bring a good skill set to the table that you can hone to that particular individual. Tempered steel and all of that.

This is not to say that one should rush into it, but I also don't believe postponing simply for the sake of postponing it is the answer.

Sweeter to wait? Maybe for some, others would find it "sexually frustrating." In my experience, it also makes one more willing to rush the relationship itself. I've seen more than one couple get married basically as an excuse to have sex within the framework of their beliefs (although they wouldn't have named it such). They are basically still in the limerence stage and have very strong sexual urges (we are sexual creatures, after all), so they rush through the early stages of the relationship.

This isn't getting into the broad number of people who do not date with the intention of getting married. They play relationships a day or week at a time, and if it turns into a marriage so much the better, but that's not the end goal of the dating process for them.

Basically, my theory is that one should postpone until you are "ready" and comfortable with yourself. My rule is that even if the relationship were to end tomorrow you wouldn't regret the action that night. After that then treat it how you want to treat it. If you need to wait for marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with postponing with a partner 9 months or five years if that is what you both want. By the same token, just as one should have sex for what are the "right reasons," one should not have sex for what are the right reasons as well.

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"'Love' is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. " -- R. A. Heinlein

I think anything is possible.
It also depends on the persons believes and morals.
I have known alot of people, that have been together for a
long while, and didn't have sex untill after they were married.
Like I said, it all depends on the person.

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Always Believe In Your Self!!!

Whatever happened to 'try before you buy'?

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^ It all depends on what your cup of tea is. Some people PREFER to see if they're sexual compatible with another person before getting too involved/committed. Others want the commitment first before making such an intimate decision. There's no right or wrong way about it; you'll find someone that has your same preferences, especially about that. You always find out real fast whether the person wants to have sex or wants to wait until marriage.

Besides, people on the marriage first side of the argument always say that if you're that committed to someone then the sex life will just follow. That's not always the case, but it definitely holds up for serious couples.

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While it is not easy, because I truly believe ultimate intimacy in a relationship comes from sex, I think it is entirely possible.

There are many people who pledge virginity until marriage. And I think they have wonderful relationships without having sex.

Also, consider couples where sex is physcially impossible due to a handicap or medical condition. Do they love eachother less because they cannot be physcially intimate?

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Scientist from Argentina discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse

That is a very great point Jo.
To some couples, sex doesn't mean anything, but they can still
show effection in MANY other ways, other then just sex.

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Always Believe In Your Self!!!