You are not at all the person you appear to be Vince. You sound like a real gentleman.

One of my guy friends once explained his first time having sex. He said that this girl asked him once (she was several years older and much more experienced... and a slut herself, in fact, they were both babysitting her newborn baby, lol...) and he decided to do it. He told me that he made the decision because all he could think about were his buddies and his older brother, and if they ever found out he had the chance to sleep with an older woman, he'd never live it down. Guys have a lot of pressure to sleep with as many woman as possible and to lose their virginity soon.

AHH, and I forgot all about starting my thread yesterday!

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*brings thread back from the dead*

But how soon is too soon? Are you implying that there is a set amount of time you should wait before you have sex? I believe in waiting to have sex in relationships until it's something you are both ready for. I don't believe in waiting beyond that point simply for the sake of waiting.

I first became intimate with my boyfriend in a relatively short amount of time according to most people's standards. He was absolutely fine with waiting as long as I wanted to (even though he hadn't had sex in 5 years) because he's a good guy like. I had thought about waiting longer until I realized that it felt right and it just doesn't make sense to wait when it feels right.

I also wanted to add that I entirely disagree with people saying that sex is something that should be reserved for relationships and should equal commitment. While I respect your right to have that opinion, I think it should be stated as opinion, not fact. I think that there's nothing wrong with casual sex as long as you're careful about it. But that's just my opinion.

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There is only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.

I wasn't implying anything more than the fact that focusing on sex too soon in a relationship may be detrimental to that relationship. Obviously the issue of when to have sex varies, because people are different, we all have different beliefs, and things are more complicated than that when we find someone to fall in love with. As for something like waiting for marriage, it's a personal choice. I don't believe anyone on here was condemning anyone else for not sharing that belief; everyone is entitled to live life as they want.

I'd like you to point out where any one of us attempted to state that as a fact rather than our opinion. Sure it happens, sure some of us disagree with it and wish it wouldn't happen, but as I stated before, people make their own choices in life and they have a right to do so. Yeah, I don't believe there's such a thing as casual sex, or that there should be such a thing; however, I'm not going to condemn someone else for believing in it or participating in it. Just because I personally disagree with someone else doesn't mean I'm going to judge them for choosing to live the way they do. I think the entire subject of sex is largely about opinions, beliefs, and personal preferences; we all have to respect each other for having individual and differing opinions.

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Okay.

But yeah, like I said, I respect everyone's right to their opinions, I just don't think that anyone has the right in this scenario to state that something SHOULD be a certain way.

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There is only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.

That was my opinion; I had reckoned it was obvious because of the context of my beliefs and such as well as the context of my post. And I also, obviously believe (as well as have previously stated) that everyone has the right to believe what they want and act as they wish. I believe broken_rebel was stating the same thing. Just because we think that things would be nice a certain way doesn't mean we're going to condemn someone else for believing differently. Thanks for reading.

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I know what your opinion is for your life but you can't say that you don't judge people who believe differently and then say that they SHOULD do as you believe. Which is the point I was trying to make. Thanks for reading.

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There is only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.

Um, yeah I can. Just because I disagree with something doesn't mean I'm going to judge someone for it. Yeah, I think it'd be nice if everyone behaved a certain way, but they don't and they never will, that's human nature. We all think things should be a certain way, but we're not going to piss and moan about people that do things differently.

EDIT: Thought of another example... I also think people SHOULDN'T smoke, but they've still got that right and I don't think less of them for smoking. Just because you think things SHOULD be a certain way doesn't mean you can't be impartial and respect other people's choices.

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my boyfriend and I waited a whole year. exactly a year after our first date to be exact. I think it was a very important decision in our relationship because during that year we learned that we were truely in love and commited to eachother. So yes I do think you can have a successful relationship (thats worth your while anyway) without having sex.

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O Death, rock me asleep, Bring me to quiet rest, Let pass my weary guiltless ghost Out of my careful breast.--Anne Boleyn