Yes, and they secretly wonder how long it will take for their partner to drop dead from complications so they can get some.

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yes it is possible. i am currently in a relationship of 9 months and we have not had sex. Although thats what a lot of guys want...if you don't want to have it make sure he knows this when you start going out. If not he may just be going with you for sex. If he is, he needs to get a life.

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~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

The original poster was referring to "a successful relationship" in terms of finding someone to be a life partner: married, kids, etc. Dating doesn't really fit those terms, though your point is well taken; it's definitely possible.

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don't all attack me at once, but...

it's not very likely that people in non-sexually active relationships can faithfully commit. i know there are people who do, but majority of partners cheat or jack-off religiously. either way, that doesn't seem too successful to me. by no means am i promoting pre-marital sex/ promiscuity, i'm just saying that there's usually a commitment problem or strain.

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Not necessarily. That will only happen with people that are incompatible with one another in terms of their beliefs on the subject.

It's about communicating what you want in a relationship. If you're hiding the fact that you're really out for physical intimacy, then yeah, the relationship won't be successful because the other person will be expecting different. It's up to YOU to try your best to find someone you feel you're compatible with. If you just shack up with the first Joe or Jane Doe, then yeah, you're going to run the risk of the relationship being unsuccessful.

It's definitely not true that a majority of people can't commit without sexual intimacy. It's actually quite opposite of that. If you tend to jump into an intimate relationship too quickly, it generally makes actual committment to that person much more difficult on all other levels. Sex often doesn't equal long-term commitment.

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IAW Jane...I usually do. But anyway, its absolutely possible to have a relationship without sex. Alot of my family and my boyfriend's family are very Catholic (as in, no sex unless you're trying to make babies) They all make their relationships work.

Also, my boyfriend and I have been together for three years and we've never slept together. I actually feel ready for it, but he wants to wait until we get married in a few years and I don't want kids yet, and accidents can happen. Just because people do it all the time now doesn't mean a majority of people can't. Many of my friends feel the same way I do, and we're all waiting for the right time. So it is possible

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^ Can I ask, if you did sleep with your boyfriend, would you feel more of sense of commitment? Would anything change between you? Would you value him more than you did before you had sex?
Why does sex mean commitment to so many people? I'm not saying it means this to you, but I am curious as to why some people wait for sex, like they feel the relationship has be to secure, as in married, before they can have sex - does marriage make a relationship more meaningful and secure than it did before?

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Sex SHOULD = commitment, even though it doesn't always. IMO, you shouldn't have sex with anyone unless you feel incredibly serious about your relationship with that person. Sex is far too casual nowadays, I believe.

Obviously things change between two people when you have sex. I think it's unfair of you to ask these things of Saphira considering the fact that she technically just wouldn't know since she hasn't experienced it. Sex always changes the relationship between two people. Theoretically, it's supposed to make the relationship stronger.

Sex isn't contingent on whether or not you value someone's love. You grow to appreciate and value MORE things about your partner that you previously weren't aware of or were unable to explore before having sex. If you haven't had intercourse and you decide to do so after having a stable relationship with someone for a period of time, and you are committed to that person, then yes, you will value your partner more for sharing their body with you and you will be able to learn even more about your partner and grow together. Sex intensifies that love you had previously.

From a religious/personal belief standpoint, it's about saving yourself for someone else. It's a sign that you really love someone that you're only willing to allow that one person to explore your body through intercourse. People wait for marriage because marriage isn't supposed to be temporary, it's supposed to be a permanent status of your relationship, and you're supposed to "complete" the marriage by giving your bodies to one another. It's a sign of your love and committment to one another.

I personally, because of my upbringing, have a very strong feeling about this. I respect my body and myself and for those reasons, I would only want to share something so personal with someone that would want to spend the rest of his life with me. That's not to say if you don't abstain, you don't appreciate yourself, but that's how I feel about ME. I just feel like it's something incredibly special and it should only be shared with one person... your life partner. I think it shows not only how much you appreciate yourself, but how much you care about your partner that you're unwilling to share your body with anyone besides that person. If you decide to have sex with several people and get intimate a little quickly, then it devalues your body, your love, and your sense of yourself, again, IMO. I think sex is EXTREMELY important and EXTREMELY sacred and should only be experienced with someone you care INCREDIBLY deeply about. I just take a very serious outlook on it.

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I don't believe I would feel more of a sense of commitment, because I don't think we can get any more committed to each other than we are. At seventeen we were already saying things like, 'When we get married'. We're the real deal, true love, that once-in-a-lifetime type thing. I don't think I would value him more either, simply because he is my best friend and my other half. I think sex would explore our relationship in deeper and more intimate ways, and it would change a little bit...like, we'd have that special connection that we're waiting for, but nothing drastic, in my opinion. And as to your question on why people wait, Jane said it all in her post:

"From a religious/personal belief standpoint, it's about saving yourself for someone else. It's a sign that you really love someone that you're only willing to allow that one person to explore your body through intercourse. People wait for marriage because marriage isn't supposed to be temporary, it's supposed to be a permanent status of your relationship, and you're supposed to "complete" the marriage by giving your bodies to one another. It's a sign of your love and committment to one another."

^^ That is exactly it. While I physically and mentally feel ready, he does not because he was raised to only be with one person. Although we both know we don't want anyone else and we're going to get married, we want it to be special. And for him, that means after marriage. It doesn't matter to me how long we wait, it could be tomorrow or in five years and it would still make no difference. We love each other completely, and we don't need to sleep with each other to prove it. When it is time, when we are spiritually one in God's eyes, then it is something we can share with each other. I'm very serious about it...I waited sixteen years for my very first French kiss. I wanted it to be special. If I can wait sixteen years for a kiss, I'm going to be pretty serious about sex

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Thank you girls, and Jane, I forgot that Saphira hadn't experienced it yet, but she did answer me, both of you did and you both seem to value yourselves highly and treasure what you have/had, and recognised it's importance.
I do agree with you Jane when you say that sex is too casual, I believe it is. I only think people should be having sex if they intend to spend their life with that person, they should love that person and want to commit. Thats not to say they should marry, but they should value sex for what it is because so many people dont anymore, and thats really kinda sad.

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