OK, STEPH

You have left me out of words to say how much i love your work. All of it.
I never stop amazing about your poems, of course this one is no exception.
- I cried when read it earlier today
I am crying now
and I know each time i go back to your thread
I will cry again -

You have such a gift, such a wonderful ability with words, to make them just be "out of this world" and though you don't always write about happy stuff...i am always able to see the hope you left in each word, you put your life in this poems, and i see the beauty of them reflecting your own beauty, or better said, your beauty is reflected in the these poems.... And, they touch my soul... and I just .... love them, and i love you

Just, please, never stop writing. I will never stop reading your stuff.


for them to be always blue
never again grey, never again sad




And, I love you, but I love you...

Euge

__________________

:shock: wow. just wow. i really am lost for words. beautiful. amazing. perfect. pretty. romantic. they all fit.

*hug* that was awesome

Thank you for posting your poems, thank you for sharing your most deepest thoughts and innermost feelings. I'm not saying that I am most appreciative... I'm sure that Euge is too. But I'm glad that I met you, glad that you posted your poems, thankful that you loved me and that you cared for me. I love you. Sorry

Emmalee

__________________

Please
please rescue me
from this feeling of despair
from this web of lies I live in,
and bring me to where I am.
Please
stay with me, please,
as I fight to face myself,
as I tear at this denial
that I have too long pushed aside.
Dreams are good for so long,
my one and only survival tactic
that I've had since a small child.
It disguises the despair,
it numbs the pain,
it masks the true ugliness of the world.
While my mind is comforting to escape to,
and keeps my hopes alive,
to stay in all the time
seems to only feed all this denial....

*in this burning denial, in this burning denial*

On the outside I am poised,
standing tall and still able to smile
(even when it hurts so bad).
Maybe through my eyes you see
that deep down underneath
my skin
my blood
my bones
I am silently tipping over,
screaming for something to hear me,
shouting all the words that won't escape my mouth.

-I don't want to fake it anymore-

No matter how ugly things are inside me,
no matter how I'm crumbling like sand,
I just don't want to hide the truth anymore.
And perhaps that's why it shines through my eyes,
the window to a soul,
an escape route for this pain,
leaving in tears
of salt
of truthful lies
of burning dreams.
Maybe it's just not what it seems.


(comforting
the warm sand feels beneath my feet,
warm
grainy
dry.
soothing is the ocean
as it washes up to me,
cool
foamy
wet.
i long to run into it,
to never look back to where i was before,
just keep running
and falling
and getting back up
until i am deep enough to swim
far away
far away
from all of this,
all my disdain)

And in the end it tries to break me,
leaving my soul exposed
flowing out of me in ribbons
of tears
of regret
of release
all in one...

forevermore,
forevermore

__________________
could make me love you less...

its wonderful. im not sure what else to say.

You don't have to say anything...thank you so much just for reading.

__________________
could make me love you less...

In my reflection
the tears came so silently,
sitting in the middle of a crowded floor,
objects passing me in a blur.

In my dreams
appeared the shadows -
winged, dark
and multiplying.

In my hopes
there was the river...
chilling liquid running
and escaping through my fingers.

In front of me I reached,
grasping for the objects that floated in front of me,
trying to hang onto something.
Yet as I did, they suddenly were so much farther away,
and when I gave up they teased the air around me
once again.

Why do I feel so invisible?

In my reflection,
my tears have grown so cold.
Numbing my cheeks as they fall,
until I run out of them completely.

In my dreams,
the shadows have consumed me,
binding me so tightly
in a suffocating blanket.

In my hopes,
the water has become the absence...
of everything but the wind.
The only sound to me.

Am I stuck inside myself?

Why do I feel so invisible?

Why do I feel so alone?

__________________
could make me love you less...

god i love your writing. honestly its so amazing every piece takes my breath away.

As well as mine... amazing.

__________________

I don't know anymore
what I must do
or what must be done.

If someone could see just how hard
I've tried to be strong...
then maybe it wouldn't matter so much
that I failed.
In this meaningless existence I see,
through this raining of tears,
my heart's flying hopes ending miserably.

In the end, it seems,
I have only become the person
I did not want to be.
The one that can only hurt
those she loves,
and never protect them
from herself.

Now it must change,
that's how it should be;
no matter how much it will hurt me.
I'm tired of hating myself.
If I could go down
with my last shred of self-worth,
then that's good enough for me.

I'm sorry.

The last thing I wanted to do was harm anyone.
My soul is having difficulty
battling another ugliness of herself
away.

I'm sorry.

You especially did not deserve any of this.
You gave me nothing but kindness,
nothing but wonder, hope and love.
And though I love you
beyond any means that you know,
I did not deserve all you unselfishly gave me.
The last thing I wanted to do was harm You.

I open the one door that I am good enough for -
leading me into such submerged,
horrific darkness.