Shiver's -Reflections- - Page 29 - EvBoard

Carmen · 05-24-2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

the fatal suffocation of dry tears

That's such a beautiful line. Jeebus your so imaginative!

Violette · 05-26-2006, 11:34 AM

Just read "Silent Introspection," and it's bee-ooo-tiful. I really get what it's saying. I especially like this stanza:

Surfacing alive
are the breaks between what's right...
only I shall see what pictures
flicker on the inside.

I like your new poem for the Writer's Group, too. I'll post my comments there in a little while... since just last night, I wrote something for the latest topic.

Silver Wing · 06-05-2006, 07:29 AM

Shiver- have you ever considered submitting some of your work for publication? I've read stuff in college that isn't half as good as your work, you really should think about it. You have a gift for succicnt descriptiveness, a real talent. Nice work.

Ashlee · 06-05-2006, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

I'll only breathe -
the fatal suffocation of dry tears

*gasps*

Wow, those lines just made my heart jump. I felt it so much. You have such an incredible way of expressing thoughts and emotions so imaginatively, reading them really takes me to another place.

Amazing
<33

Shivercide · 06-05-2006, 11:56 PM

*can't help but beam*

Thanks guys, your comments are more than I deserve.

But no, I've never seriously thought of publication...and I wouldn't know how to go about it anyway. :(

*<3 all of you*

Return To Chaos · 06-14-2006, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

Sorry, I've been a little busy lately. SO I'll go ahead, be unoriginal, and post the stuff I already posted in the Writer's Group thread.

Perforated

Deep inside my mind,
there lies a buried secret.

- I've spent too much time protecting
what only serves
to eat away my insides -

...But it's been too long to remember
where I've placed it.

Deep inside my heart,
I've learned to pray (to prey) upon
the wondrous hope created -
thought, conceived and borne
by a dream of desperation.

(But it's your hands that hold back
the undoing
of which will never let me flourish)

If you'd never collided (accidentally)
with my maimed reflection,
invisible on the surface
of which yours shines right through...

...then I might never have escaped
into the slowly-
rising sun,
perforating the heart of darkness
that resides inside,
within.

---------------------------

In My Sleep

Where once I held
a dream -
a perfected lifelong innocence
underneath such tainted sheets...
such a dream was broken, as

I was murdered in my sleep.

Things could be in tatters -
imagined by a mind
breathing shallow, half-alive.

Things could be so hopeless -
held onto by a heart
beating slowly,
beating broken.

And in my thoughts, around the edges...
touch faint feathers,
dancing, floating.
Songs of sorrow fill my soul
in its descension, fading down.

Where once I held
a dream -
all imprints of such lifelong pain
fall away into the breeze...
such a dream was broken, as

You stabbed me in my sleep.

And such quiet memory
is all that's left behind -
dots of red on white
slung amongst
these tainted sheets.

Wow ... I don't know what to say. Both of them are so beautifully written and so is Silent Introspection. 'In My Sleep' is definitely my favourite so far. It gave me the chills. Looking forward to seeing more. <3

MetalDan · 06-14-2006, 02:38 AM

in reality Shiver doesn't speak much. she communicates in other great ways. it all stems inside her writing, but.,

MAN can this girl SING!

it can only be described as liquid silk, dreamt by the minds and spun by the delicate hands of angels, flowing soft and smoothly between the fingers, spreading warmth throughout the soul from such a simple sound....

that's the only way I can describe how i feel in the rare times when I'm able to listen to such a sweet symphony that happens to be Steph.

i never want the songs to end.

Shivercide · 06-14-2006, 09:19 PM

Um, *cough* thanks Dan. :) *blushes horribly* Yeah...right. I have no singing voice. ;)

Apryl · 06-17-2006, 11:52 PM

Quote:

You stabbed me in my sleep

I really love that line. You're very talented.

FelicityS · 06-18-2006, 08:41 AM

Where once I held
a dream -
all imprints of such lifelong pain
fall away into the breeze...
such a dream was broken, as

You stabbed me in my sleep.

Wow i love your writing! It has such a great imagery and flow to it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

05-26-2006, 11:34 AM	#282 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Just read "Silent Introspection," and it's bee-ooo-tiful. I really get what it's saying. I especially like this stanza: Surfacing alive are the breaks between what's right... only I shall see what pictures flicker on the inside. I like your new poem for the Writer's Group, too. I'll post my comments there in a little while... since just last night, I wrote something for the latest topic. __________________ Come join!

06-14-2006, 02:38 AM	#287 (permalink)
MetalDan n00blet Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 3 Points: 502.29 Bank: 124.16 Total Points: 626.45 Donate	in reality Shiver doesn't speak much. she communicates in other great ways. it all stems inside her writing, but., MAN can this girl SING! it can only be described as liquid silk, dreamt by the minds and spun by the delicate hands of angels, flowing soft and smoothly between the fingers, spreading warmth throughout the soul from such a simple sound.... that's the only way I can describe how i feel in the rare times when I'm able to listen to such a sweet symphony that happens to be Steph. i never want the songs to end. Last edited by MetalDan : 06-14-2006 at 03:00 AM.

06-18-2006, 08:41 AM	#290 (permalink)
FelicityS Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,403 Points: 700.64 Bank: 41.06 Total Points: 741.70 Donate	Where once I held a dream - all imprints of such lifelong pain fall away into the breeze... such a dream was broken, as You stabbed me in my sleep. Wow i love your writing! It has such a great imagery and flow to it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! __________________ My Space My Stuff

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06-05-2006, 07:29 AM	#283 (permalink)
Silver Wing Hungry. Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 477 Points: 4,900.00 Bank: 77,121.86 Total Points: 82,021.87 Donate	Shiver- have you ever considered submitting some of your work for publication? I've read stuff in college that isn't half as good as your work, you really should think about it. You have a gift for succicnt descriptiveness, a real talent. Nice work.

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