Shiver's -Reflections- - Page 5 - EvBoard

Euge · 11-20-2003, 04:54 PM

I definitive have to agree with all that said: OMG and WOW
Really, it takes you to that peaceful place we all long to be in...
but don´t like when you open your eyes and see the reality. For you that´s a good critic, cause you were able to take all us to that place with your words...

Love your Work!!!
Amazed by every post!!!
Can´t wait to see more!!!

EUGE

NeverSleepNeverDie · 11-20-2003, 06:27 PM

o_o daaaaaamn your good at writing poems! they are so vivid and purdyfull ^_^ i lurve them ^^;;

imaginary_angel · 11-26-2003, 07:35 PM

Omg I love your stuff!! Butterfly Flowers is SO amazing!! I love the fact that you went past the usual forms of poetry AND I love the theme! But still, I like Shaded the best out of all of them. WAY AWESOME!!!!!!!! Post more!

Shivercide · 11-27-2003, 10:51 PM

Beneath

I am suffocating
slowly
by this black void
that has imagined me-
the only thing I see
are your eyes I'm trapped beneath.

I am floating
in my head,
in confusion of all of this,
of your hand
sliding down my face,
down my neck,
down,
down,
down...
...I whimper, I cry-
my saltwater hopes
leave my eyes.

(I try to shout,
I try to pray,
I tell my soul to fly away)

But my soul is caught
inside me,
my breath is running low,
my strength is weakened
until I
cannot struggle
for control.

You forcefully
submit me
to such a deeper, darker
pain-
ripping through
my skin,
my heart,
my soul...
burning throughout
my body
(cry, my head is throbbing...),
and you smother me-
my lungs,
my hopes,
my dreams...

...until I wake,
so cold,
grasping for the warmth
that I believe in...
searching for an answer
as to why
my sun was set.

Euge · 11-28-2003, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

Beneath

...until I wake,
so cold,
grasping for the warmth
that I believe in...
searching for an answer
as to why
my sun was set.

It was set, so it can rest at night, and tomorrow come back up all shinning and stronger, more brighter that you could ever thought it could be...

Sad, yet beautifull, poem.

*hug*
:heart: you too !

Euge

Shivercide · 11-28-2003, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eugenia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

Beneath

...until I wake,
so cold,
grasping for the warmth
that I believe in...
searching for an answer
as to why
my sun was set.

It was set, so it can rest at night, and tomorrow come back up all shinning and stronger, more brighter that you could ever thought it could be...

Sad, yet beautifull, poem.

*hug*
:heart: you too !

Euge

I wrote that poem last night, from the feelings that are upsetting me, and sometimes make me feel hopeless...but there you go, returning my hope again, but you've also added wings. Thank you, Euge...so much.

*HUG*

Shivercide · 11-29-2003, 02:27 PM

This is an old one...but I kinda like it, so I decided to just post it.

Mutilation of my Heart

If you slice me
with a sword,
or stab me in the eye,
you may see me shed some tears
but I won't cry as much inside.

If you hit me with a car,
or shoot me in the head,
my body may be functionless,
but my soul will not be dead.

It's when you reach down deeper,
beneath the surface of my skin,
crashing through my spirit;
you have really hurt me, then.

So if you wish to
harm me,
use sharp needles, iron bars-
but, please be merciful and
spare the mutilation of my heart.

Eternal Jester · 11-29-2003, 03:50 PM

That's good. It reminded me immediately of this work, which I think you'll appreciate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by William Ernest Henley

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Shivercide · 11-29-2003, 04:26 PM

Thanks EJ...I like that poem you quoted, and it's nice to hear that mine reminds you of it (not really used to my writing being compared to anything...).

moonlightinplatinum · 11-30-2003, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

-Unable-

This aqua surf
provides my desk...
upon this seaside breeze,
I lay my head.

And loneliness does clout my thoughts,
for what I need to say, I just cannot.
I'm stuck, afloat atop this ocean turf
drifting nowhere, somewhere all at once.
Frigid waves clapping their hands
serve as my muzzled pleas;
this salty foam's consuming me,
filling my body from within.

So if you ask me, "What's going on?"
If it's something bad, I'll still respond,
"Not much."

And in this sea of which I'm trapped,
there is, beneath, all that I feel,
all that pains me and resides
below the surface, deep down inside...
I long to say all that I need,
and release these liquid chains of me.

Send to me the words to say
besides my "Nothing's wrong" and "I'm okay",
because those are the first that come to mind,
though in my mind they're not the same.

And even through such suffocation,
through such bitter isolation,
I must swim through and see things as right,
saying I'm all right,
despite
things being not.

<Written in June, 2002>

Stunning. Absolutely stunning. I love this. Wow. It inspires me. I wish I could do something this cool. It makes me want to make a picture or something of it. Would you give me permission to make a picture kinda blendy thing with this poem in it? All credit to you, of course.

11-20-2003, 04:54 PM	#41 (permalink)
Euge Morocha Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Buenos Aires Posts: 4,754 Points: 85,412.81 Bank: 230,139.86 Total Points: 315,552.67 Donate	butterfly I definitive have to agree with all that said: OMG and WOW Really, it takes you to that peaceful place we all long to be in... but don´t like when you open your eyes and see the reality. For you that´s a good critic, cause you were able to take all us to that place with your words... Love your Work!!! Amazed by every post!!! Can´t wait to see more!!! EUGE __________________ What is worst? Ignorance or indiference? I don't know, and I don't care.

11-26-2003, 07:35 PM	#43 (permalink)
imaginary_angel n00blet Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Canada Age: 18 Posts: 11 Points: 359.10 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 359.10 Donate	Omg I love your stuff!! Butterfly Flowers is SO amazing!! I love the fact that you went past the usual forms of poetry AND I love the theme! But still, I like Shaded the best out of all of them. WAY AWESOME!!!!!!!! Post more! __________________ (Avoid falling down.) -The League of Bewildered Poets and Philosophers-

11-27-2003, 10:51 PM	#44 (permalink)
Shivercide Restless Join Date: Jul 2003 Age: 24 Posts: 3,228 Points: 89,096.50 Bank: 11,117,911.16 Total Points: 11,207,007.66 Donate	Beneath Beneath I am suffocating slowly by this black void that has imagined me- the only thing I see are your eyes I'm trapped beneath. I am floating in my head, in confusion of all of this, of your hand sliding down my face, down my neck, down, down, down... ...I whimper, I cry- my saltwater hopes leave my eyes. (I try to shout, I try to pray, I tell my soul to fly away) But my soul is caught inside me, my breath is running low, my strength is weakened until I cannot struggle for control. You forcefully submit me to such a deeper, darker pain- ripping through my skin, my heart, my soul... burning throughout my body (cry, my head is throbbing...), and you smother me- my lungs, my hopes, my dreams... ...until I wake, so cold, grasping for the warmth that I believe in... searching for an answer as to why my sun was set.

11-29-2003, 02:27 PM	#47 (permalink)
Shivercide Restless Join Date: Jul 2003 Age: 24 Posts: 3,228 Points: 89,096.50 Bank: 11,117,911.16 Total Points: 11,207,007.66 Donate	Mutilation of my Heart This is an old one...but I kinda like it, so I decided to just post it. Mutilation of my Heart If you slice me with a sword, or stab me in the eye, you may see me shed some tears but I won't cry as much inside. If you hit me with a car, or shoot me in the head, my body may be functionless, but my soul will not be dead. It's when you reach down deeper, beneath the surface of my skin, crashing through my spirit; you have really hurt me, then. So if you wish to harm me, use sharp needles, iron bars- but, please be merciful and spare the mutilation of my heart.

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11-20-2003, 06:27 PM	#42 (permalink)
NeverSleepNeverDie n00blet Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my field of paper flowers XD Age: 18 Posts: 11 Points: 101.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 101.00 Donate	o_o daaaaaamn your good at writing poems! they are so vivid and purdyfull ^_^ i lurve them ^^;;

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