The thoughts inside Violette's head - Page 3 - EvBoard

Violette · 01-04-2006, 10:06 AM

Forgive my double-posting.... but I just wrote this last night and had to type it up today to share with you guys. Can't think of a title for it yet - any suggestions are welcome, though!

Untitled (1/3/2006)

She approaches him from across the room
He avoids her gaze reluctantly
But her presence is magnetic
Her stare unshakeable
The distance between them disappearing
Can he resist
Or will she overpower him?

Her sweet-smelling breath stings his skin
Like the winds of a January storm
Her delicate fingers caress his shoulders
Her touch lingering
Congealing the blood in his veins
Leaning over, she whispers in his ear
Cooing like a dove
Stranded in a snow-blanketed forest

Just then
She tips his chin up with her fragile hand
And his warm brown eyes
Met her frosty sapphire blues
Her midnight black hair
Her ghostly pale skin
No color on her cheeks
No smile cracking her frozen face
Just a dying, wandering expression
Hiding the untamed flames of her desire
That becomes evident with a single kiss

Their lips touch
An unfathomable warmth
Melts the numbness that he once felt towards her
Sending sparks and flower petals
Streaming through space
For what seems like an eternity
But only lasts a few seconds

Their mouths part
Suddenly, he feels cold
Abandoned, shivering
His chills intensifying as she pulls away
Trembling because he failed to see
Her heart made of stone
Her masked intentions
The false taste of spring she planted on his tongue

Now, their souls are fused together
By a bitter temptation
She is his muse
His goddess of pleasure and pain
He is her captive
Bound to her by the only way she knows how to love
The eternal winter that plagues her being

Svetlana-S.V.D. · 01-06-2006, 03:43 PM

Your poems are awesome!
English isn't my native language, so I feel poetry a little bit different and sometimes it's really hard to see and understand the rhyme... but yours - they like music! I like it!

p.s. You're really strong, you know! and I understand your feelings about fighting for the life whatever you fight - I had resembling situation with a birthmark

p.s.s I haven't understood everything in the last poem! But I will

Shivercide · 01-06-2006, 06:43 PM

Your poetry speaks of sweet innocence that forces out the light, even in the dark parts.

I loved reading.

Violette · 01-07-2006, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Svetlana-S.V.D.

Your poems are awesome!
English isn't my native language, so I feel poetry a little bit different and sometimes it's really hard to see and understand the rhyme... but yours - they like music! I like it!

p.s. You're really strong, you know! and I understand your feelings about fighting for the life whatever you fight - I had resembling situation with a birthmark

p.s.s I haven't understood everything in the last poem! But I will

Thanks very much, Svetlana! I sort of got the idea for the untitled poem from Within Temptation's song 'Ice Queen'. When I first heard the song online, I didn't catch all the lyrics correctly and thought the song was about a woman who tried seducing men in a cold, almost wintry way. But once I learned the lyrics, I learned I was wrong.... and then I recently decided to write a poem based on my original idea of what I thought 'Ice Queen' was about. Hope this helps.

Also, I think it's awesome that lyrics and poems can speak to people from other countries. So don't worry about not understanding some parts of my poems - if you have any questions, please ask.

Svetlana-S.V.D. · 01-07-2006, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Violette

Hope this helps.

Also, I think it's awesome that lyrics and poems can speak to people from other countries. So don't worry about not understanding some parts of my poems - if you have any questions, please ask.

Yeh! that really helped

thank's!

GirlWithAMic · 01-07-2006, 05:53 PM

Ooooh, I liked that one...told quite the story without being too prose-ish. Very descriptive. Great work, as usual!

Uriel Coleridge · 01-09-2006, 12:19 PM

wow. I simply love your style and your poems. That last one made me swear in awe just loud enough for my mom in the next room to hear me and go off on me for 15 minutes on proper language. (which is a good thing

) I can relate to it, that kinda happened to me a while back. I am amazed at how well you described everything, from the choice of words to the imagery, I could almost see/feel it happening if I closed my eyes. I think a good title for it would be something along the lines of "Cold Love/Lust/Desire," but maybe that's just me. I look forward to seeing more of your work soon, you're a very talented writer! I wish I had the ability to describe things like you do. I've seen many good writers among my friends here in Colombia and abroad, but you're definetely among the best. Keep up the amazing work!

Nothing · 01-10-2006, 05:07 AM

I love you style, it's very original. Writer's Block and Confronting the Enemy are really really beautiful!
My English isn't very good, so I don't understand everything, but you're poetry is very lovely.

Violette · 01-10-2006, 10:21 AM

Thanks, everyone. Your comments really do motivate me to post more of my writings.

This one's a bit different. For a span of 10 years or so, I had this habit of hearing music in my head (even though I play no instruments!) and then kinda crafting it into a 'potential song'. Nothing more has ever come out of these 'songs', unfortunately, but I think they're decent. Here's one of them, please let me know what you think.

Absense (2000)

It's taken too much time
I'm eternally preoccupied
It feels like my search has only begun
Dead ends will follow my leads
Never knowing who to trust or what to believe
My only wish is that you'll be safe

[chorus]
But there's not a face
Who has seen a trace
Of the one I'm thinking of
And no one can replace
Your life, you space
Inside my aching heart

A will that's never broken
Words of endearment never spoken
I'm torn, I'm lost... just like you
They tell me that all hope is gone
That it's time for me to move on
But I can't let go, because you live inside me

[chorus]

I will keep on looking
I will keep on searching
For the one I'm thinking of
And no one can replace you
Nothing can erase you
From my heart, my aching heart

Your candle burns every night
A flickering flame to symbolize
My undying dream
My undying love

[chorus]

Svetlana-S.V.D. · 01-10-2006, 12:58 PM

This song is relly great!! I think it'll be nice (and sad) ballade some day!

01-04-2006, 10:06 AM	#21 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Forgive my double-posting.... but I just wrote this last night and had to type it up today to share with you guys. Can't think of a title for it yet - any suggestions are welcome, though! Untitled (1/3/2006) She approaches him from across the room He avoids her gaze reluctantly But her presence is magnetic Her stare unshakeable The distance between them disappearing Can he resist Or will she overpower him? Her sweet-smelling breath stings his skin Like the winds of a January storm Her delicate fingers caress his shoulders Her touch lingering Congealing the blood in his veins Leaning over, she whispers in his ear Cooing like a dove Stranded in a snow-blanketed forest Just then She tips his chin up with her fragile hand And his warm brown eyes Met her frosty sapphire blues Her midnight black hair Her ghostly pale skin No color on her cheeks No smile cracking her frozen face Just a dying, wandering expression Hiding the untamed flames of her desire That becomes evident with a single kiss Their lips touch An unfathomable warmth Melts the numbness that he once felt towards her Sending sparks and flower petals Streaming through space For what seems like an eternity But only lasts a few seconds Their mouths part Suddenly, he feels cold Abandoned, shivering His chills intensifying as she pulls away Trembling because he failed to see Her heart made of stone Her masked intentions The false taste of spring she planted on his tongue Now, their souls are fused together By a bitter temptation She is his muse His goddess of pleasure and pain He is her captive Bound to her by the only way she knows how to love The eternal winter that plagues her being __________________ Come join!

01-09-2006, 12:19 PM	#27 (permalink)
Uriel Coleridge Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Medellin, Colombia Age: 18 Posts: 386 Points: 250.00 Bank: 1,154.45 Total Points: 1,404.45 Donate	wow. I simply love your style and your poems. That last one made me swear in awe just loud enough for my mom in the next room to hear me and go off on me for 15 minutes on proper language. (which is a good thing) I can relate to it, that kinda happened to me a while back. I am amazed at how well you described everything, from the choice of words to the imagery, I could almost see/feel it happening if I closed my eyes. I think a good title for it would be something along the lines of "Cold Love/Lust/Desire," but maybe that's just me. I look forward to seeing more of your work soon, you're a very talented writer! I wish I had the ability to describe things like you do. I've seen many good writers among my friends here in Colombia and abroad, but you're definetely among the best. Keep up the amazing work!

01-10-2006, 10:21 AM	#29 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Thanks, everyone. Your comments really do motivate me to post more of my writings. This one's a bit different. For a span of 10 years or so, I had this habit of hearing music in my head (even though I play no instruments!) and then kinda crafting it into a 'potential song'. Nothing more has ever come out of these 'songs', unfortunately, but I think they're decent. Here's one of them, please let me know what you think. Absense (2000) It's taken too much time I'm eternally preoccupied It feels like my search has only begun Dead ends will follow my leads Never knowing who to trust or what to believe My only wish is that you'll be safe [chorus] But there's not a face Who has seen a trace Of the one I'm thinking of And no one can replace Your life, you space Inside my aching heart A will that's never broken Words of endearment never spoken I'm torn, I'm lost... just like you They tell me that all hope is gone That it's time for me to move on But I can't let go, because you live inside me [chorus] I will keep on looking I will keep on searching For the one I'm thinking of And no one can replace you Nothing can erase you From my heart, my aching heart Your candle burns every night A flickering flame to symbolize My undying dream My undying love [chorus] __________________ Come join!

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01-06-2006, 03:43 PM	#22 (permalink)
Svetlana-S.V.D. Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ukraine Age: 23 Posts: 147 Points: 2,109.56 Bank: 607.13 Total Points: 2,716.69 Donate	Your poems are awesome! English isn't my native language, so I feel poetry a little bit different and sometimes it's really hard to see and understand the rhyme... but yours - they like music! I like it! p.s. You're really strong, you know! and I understand your feelings about fighting for the life whatever you fight - I had resembling situation with a birthmark p.s.s I haven't understood everything in the last poem! But I will

01-07-2006, 05:53 PM	#26 (permalink)
GirlWithAMic Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 763 Points: 457.27 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 457.27 Donate	Ooooh, I liked that one...told quite the story without being too prose-ish. Very descriptive. Great work, as usual!

01-10-2006, 05:07 AM	#28 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	I love you style, it's very original. Writer's Block and Confronting the Enemy are really really beautiful! My English isn't very good, so I don't understand everything, but you're poetry is very lovely.

01-10-2006, 12:58 PM	#30 (permalink)
Svetlana-S.V.D. Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ukraine Age: 23 Posts: 147 Points: 2,109.56 Bank: 607.13 Total Points: 2,716.69 Donate	This song is relly great!! I think it'll be nice (and sad) ballade some day!

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