Untitled - input, please? - EvBoard

Jgalttuhs · 09-18-2006, 01:42 AM

Hey guys, wrote this the other night while listening to that video of Sunday, Bloody Sunday somebody put together from clips of all Bush's speeches. Bleeding brilliant video, but that's beside the point. The point is that I wrote this, now I don't know what to do with it, and I'm looking for title suggestions. Anything concerning the following specifically would be more than welcome:

-Different ending/conclusion (preferably in the form of extra lines or themes for them - I like what I've got so far, just not quite sure if it works as a whole.)
-Structure (ideas for verses, anything like that?)
-Title. What do I call this thing?

If you wouldn't terribly mind, fire away. :P

Here goes...

See how hatred turns to beauty
Weapons of war, guns and tanks
Jammed with flowers
Rusted by the rains of love

How long shall we wait
To wash away the blood and tears
Someday we shall unite
Sorrow will turn to joy
Anger will turn to love
And all our fears are washed away

Watch the miracle
Every day
A child's smile, a flower's golden bloom
The change will come in time
One by one, someday we'll see
How bitter the price of murder and war
And one by one someday we'll see
We don't need this anymore

Pray for hope
Hope for peace
And maybe one day
Someday we'll be released...

AdventChild · 09-23-2006, 10:13 PM

ooo i like it! sorry i cant really help with adding/ changing to the song as i dont really want to start writing things that you might not think go with the song and i cant really think of any good lyrics

...
anyway, after reading the first verse then the end i got some feeling of finally be free... so maybe a title along the lines of finally free?.. or is that too cheesy

just my thoughts,
john

p.s.- if you want check out my songs!

voiceboxx · 09-30-2006, 08:37 PM

The title that comes to mind for me is "Tomorrow" or perhaps "A Perfect World"... or maybe "A Perfect Tomorrow"?

I can't think of anything to add/change though.

XxBillieOwnsXx · 10-01-2006, 09:16 AM

I like how...it didn't rhyme. o_O XD I dunno, I think it gave it a unique touch...and the whole idea of the world becoming something better is awesome. <3 Kudos.

09-18-2006, 01:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jgalttuhs n00blet Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: North of the Equator Age: 21 Posts: 12 Points: 304.66 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 304.66 Donate	Untitled - input, please? Hey guys, wrote this the other night while listening to that video of Sunday, Bloody Sunday somebody put together from clips of all Bush's speeches. Bleeding brilliant video, but that's beside the point. The point is that I wrote this, now I don't know what to do with it, and I'm looking for title suggestions. Anything concerning the following specifically would be more than welcome: -Different ending/conclusion (preferably in the form of extra lines or themes for them - I like what I've got so far, just not quite sure if it works as a whole.) -Structure (ideas for verses, anything like that?) -Title. What do I call this thing? If you wouldn't terribly mind, fire away. :P Here goes... See how hatred turns to beauty Weapons of war, guns and tanks Jammed with flowers Rusted by the rains of love How long shall we wait To wash away the blood and tears Someday we shall unite Sorrow will turn to joy Anger will turn to love And all our fears are washed away Watch the miracle Every day A child's smile, a flower's golden bloom The change will come in time One by one, someday we'll see How bitter the price of murder and war And one by one someday we'll see We don't need this anymore Pray for hope Hope for peace And maybe one day Someday we'll be released...

10-01-2006, 09:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
XxBillieOwnsXx Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: ...Pedophile. Age: 17 Posts: 53 Points: 674.92 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 674.92 Donate	I like how...it didn't rhyme. o_O XD I dunno, I think it gave it a unique touch...and the whole idea of the world becoming something better is awesome. <3 Kudos. __________________ i.pledge.allegiance.to.the.world.nothing.more.and. nothing.less.than.my. H U M A N I T Y

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

09-23-2006, 10:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
AdventChild n00blet Join Date: May 2006 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Age: 17 Posts: 19 Points: 265.55 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 265.55 Donate	ooo i like it! sorry i cant really help with adding/ changing to the song as i dont really want to start writing things that you might not think go with the song and i cant really think of any good lyrics ... anyway, after reading the first verse then the end i got some feeling of finally be free... so maybe a title along the lines of finally free?.. or is that too cheesy just my thoughts, john p.s.- if you want check out my songs!

09-30-2006, 08:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
voiceboxx Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: New Jersey Age: 23 Posts: 63 Points: 4,600.36 Bank: 9,374.93 Total Points: 13,975.30 Donate	The title that comes to mind for me is "Tomorrow" or perhaps "A Perfect World"... or maybe "A Perfect Tomorrow"? I can't think of anything to add/change though.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)