In light of the new Ev album, I've been really inspired and have written three songs in three days. I call them songs because they are songy and I like to put music to them with my keyboard sometimes. Anyway, please tell me what you think. Good or Bad, just be constructive with your criticizm please.

Hurt Me
Hurt me again
I dare you to
Hurt me again
I can do worse to you

Laying by your side
Where I'd slept so soundly
But you never felt me there
Tearing out my eyes
Bleeding so profoundly
And I know that you don't care

Hurt me again
I dare you to
Taste of my sin
I'm colder than you
Hurt me again
I can do worse to you
Cry for your lost friend
She's gone, and you're through

I'm already broken
Try and crush me
You'll cut yourself up
I'm already fallen
Try and push me
I can't fall far enough

Hurt me again
I dare you to
Taste of my sin
I'm colder than you
Hurt me again
I can do worse to you
Cry for your lost friend
She's gone, and you're through

Make me hurt
I like the pain
Cut me up
Let the blood stain
Make me hurt
I like the pain
Dose me up
With hatred in my veins

Hurt me again


Dark Beauty
In the back of my mind
She won't go away
Whispering her constant lies
When will I be free
When will she let go of me
She's waiting

She's taking over me
This dark beauty
The siren of my fears
You don't remember her name
But we're one in the same
Existing within my tears

Scratching at the edge of my mind
She wants to get away
And form my life into her lies
She longs to break free
She's trying to destroy me
She's waiting

She'll take my life from me
This dark beauty
The fury of my past
She's digging my grave
For in death I'm her slave
I'd be trapped behind the mirror's glass

She knows me better than I know myself
She screams over me as I cry for help

She is only me
This dark beauty
I hold the goddess of hell
She's making me insane
I'm dizzy from the game
I won't give her my farewell

She is only me
Hiding in my mind
Please set me free
From this dark beauty


Selflessly Incomplete
I'm never good enough for you
Make me better, I'm trying to be better
Take away my soul of who I was before
For it seems I cannot be her
Self-Loathing
Empty Hoping
Selflessly Incomplete

All your thoughts are made to haunt
Making me into what I should be
This is nothing that I want
But I don't live for me

Tell me what you want me to do
How high do I have to fly to reach the stars
Let them burn through me in my sacrifice
So I know that smile is all you are
Self-Hating
Degrading
Selflessly Incomplete

All your thoughts are made to haunt
Making me into what I should be
This is nothing that I want
But I don't live for me

Make the chains tighter
Feast on the life you drain from me
For you I am a liar
So the truth will never sink too deep
What do you want me to be
I live for you, not for me

All your thoughts are made to haunt
Making me into what I should be
This is nothing that I want
But I don't live for me

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"I think I am in Hell, therefore I am there." - The Poet Jean-Nicholas Arthur Rimbaud
"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry." - Author Unknown

I like your writing, my favourite is Dark Beauty especially these lines.

look forward to reading more

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Great job! They are all very good. I like "Dark Beauty" the best. I'm eager to see more. =)

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Thank you for all of your comments. I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I have written quite bit more, but I hardly have the time to post it. Anyway, here's the new material I've come up with. Tell me what you think, honestly.

Lose My Mind
Caught in a corner
I've no place to run, when will my dawn come
My biggest fear is myself
Please stop taunting me, and stop haunting me
You're pulling me from different sides
Can I stay where I am, and still do the best I can
When can I live for me
When can I finally breathe

Let me lose my mind
So I don't care about my broken life
And I can give you what's left inside
Let me lose my mind
So I won't know anything but my eternal night
So all of my guilt and shame can subside
I'm already on the edge, just let me lose my mind

How much more hollow do you want my soul to be
Is there a debt I made, that I forgot to pay
Take the pieces of myself, they don't belong to me
I give everything to you, it's the best I can do
I'm trying to stand strong for you all
My heart is for the taking, though it's still breaking
When can I live for me
When can I finally breathe

Let me lose my mind
So I don't care about my broken life
And I can give you what's left inside
Let me lose my mind
So I won't know anything but my eternal night
So all of my guilt and shame can subside
I'm already on the edge, just let me lose my mind

Am I who I am, who I was, or who I will be
Either way I see that I will still hate me
So please let me go and fall off into insanity
I want to die, but you want me by your side
You can have my life, just let me lose my mind


Empty
So many words with little meaning
You can't hear my cry
Over the thousands still screaming
Romancing every feeling inside
Though I know romance
Was there when my heart died
How many times can I say I'm sorry
Not enough, let go of my soul it's empty

When I said goodbye before
Why did you hold me down
And lock the waiting abyss door
Now I'm trapped inside my shell
Though I'm beside you
I'm already gone into my own hell
I know there was no way to save me
Don't feel guilty that my soul's empty

Hello again, can you hear me this time
I'm suffocating in my life
With my last breath hear my last goodbye
Lay me down, I'm so tired
Now that I've closed my eyes
Forget the emptiness you admired
Now that you've let me go, my soul is free
From everything that made it so empty


Fairytale
How many times have I sung this song
The words always crumbling the ashes of my heart
I've been away from you for too long
Now everytime I say your name I always fall apart
Am I in your arms tonight
Can I feel your lips on mine
I don't know why I can't say goodbye

Dead cold in a curse I can't undo
Waiting in vain for my fairytale to come true
But I'm not the princess in your dreams
Just the Snow White girl in a poisoned sleep
If in the happy ever after we're not together
Then let me stay in my dreamless sleep forever

When you look at my pathetic broken life
I know you don't want to be held down by my selfish tears
I'm burning the image of you behind my eyes
To have when you leave and I'm left alone again here
Let me be in your arms one more time
Press your warm lips against mine
I don't know why I can't say goodbye

Dead cold in a curse I can't undo
Waiting in vain for my fairytale to come true
But I'm not the princess in your dreams
Just the Snow White girl in a poisoned sleep
If in the happy ever after we're not together
Then let me stay in my dreamless sleep forever

Where is the end to this story
When will it be written for me
Was I the witch who deserved her wretched fate
I know my chance for happy ever after is too late

Dead cold in a curse I can't undo
Waiting in vain for my fairytale to come true
But I'm not the princess in your dreams
Just the Snow White girl in a poisoned sleep
If in the happy ever after we're not together
Then let me stay in my dreamless sleep forever

__________________
"I think I am in Hell, therefore I am there." - The Poet Jean-Nicholas Arthur Rimbaud
"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry." - Author Unknown

Lol I LOVE it! Keep it up! We want to see more.

It has been quite a while since I've posted anything, so needless to say I have quite a few more songs to post. Tell me your thoughts.

Will You Be My Vampire

A vampire came to stand by my side
Asked "Where are you going in your life?"
I said "I will fall with you into the black
If you give me what I need to keep my mind intact"

Let me die with you tonight
And make my fears fade with the twilight
Make me a predator of the night
To hunt down my dreams and make them mine
(Pale Fiend
Can you give this to me)

A vampire came to stand by my side
Asked "will you come with me tonight?"
I said "I'll give up everything I hate in me
If you promise to have waiting a new beginning"

Let me die with you tonight
And make my fears fade with the twilight
Make me a predator of the night
To hunt down my dreams and make them mine
(Pale Fiend
Can you give this to me)

Weak, prey, broken, and bleeding
Of this state I tire
Will you save me from myself
Will you be my vampire?

Let me die with you tonight
And make my fears fade with the twilight
Make me a predator of the night
To hunt down my dreams and make them mine
(Pale Fiend
Can you give this to me)
Will you save me from myself
Will you be my vampire?



Requiem

Are you doing better now that you're alone
For me, the hole in my heart has grown
As life dances around me, my vision blurs
But the torment has become a pleasure I endure
I wish one day
It would all just fade

Requiem
I'm through, couldn't save you
Bury me inside these words that are the only things true
Requiem
It's done, I'm not the one
But I'm trapped inside my broken heart with nowhere to run
Requiem
For hearts heavy, with burdens they couldn't carry

Can you see through your mask as I give up
Can you see through my lie of feeling good enough
What is keeping me from me felicity
When I look in my tears there is only me
I wish one day
It would all just fade

Requiem
I'm through, couldn't save you
Bury me inside these words that are the only things true
Requiem
It's done, I'm not the one
But I'm trapped inside my broken heart with nowhere to run
Requiem
For hearts heavy, with burdens they couldn't carry

To fly I'd have to take your feathers
And then live in my guilt forever

What I meant to say was never perceived
For how many words of mine have I grieved
My pain scratching at my throat to be heard
But what cares could it ever be worth
I wish one day
It would all just fade

Requiem
I'm through, couldn't save you
Bury me inside these words that are the only things true
Requiem
It's done, I'm not the one
But I'm trapped inside my broken heart with nowhere to run
Requiem
For hearts heavy, with burdens they couldn't carry



All That I'd Fallen For

Falling into my empty core
Losing all that I'd fallen for
I had to love what would be taken
Leaving my love to lie forsaken
My darkness begins to consume me
Seems this is how I was meant to be
With all of my love still ignored
As I lose all that I'd fallen for

When I destroyed the lie to live true
I never thought that meant I'd lose you
Can't say goodbye, don't make me say goodbye
Another piece of my heart would die
And a murder would cry nevermore
As I lose all that I'd fallen for

What did it mean when you call me a friend
It seems to mean nothing at the end
What did I do to deserve this pain
Why did I have to fall again
Just to lose forevermore
All that I'd fallen for



Alone

I won't run after you again
Crying that you're all alone
When you just won't let anyone in
Why do you run, are you afraid
Do you love the isolation you've made

Oh, you poor little thing
Is there no one to hold you
There in the cold, shivering
You made your fears come true
Enclosed in stone
You're the reason you're alone

I won't care about you again
Nothing I do is ever good enough
Do you just want everything to end
Why don't you scream at me
Do you think that makes you weak

Oh, you poor little thing
Is there no one to hold you
There in the cold, shivering
You made your fears come true
Enclosed in stone
You're the reason you're alone

Locked yourself inside your chains
Still I am willing to take the blame
But I won't break
For you to feel better
When you're still the same

__________________
"I think I am in Hell, therefore I am there." - The Poet Jean-Nicholas Arthur Rimbaud
"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry." - Author Unknown

I truly loved reading your poems!! They are so very real, they have so much meaning to them, and are very deep, an dfilled with so much feeling, and emotions! Awesome work, and I would love to hear more!!

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im very impressed. yours is the first work i have read in a very long time besides re-reading over my old postings early this afternoon. im so glad i decided to read your writting or songs as you called them

i have to say my favourite is hurt me i really liked this part

Hurt me again
I dare you to
Taste of my sin
I'm colder than you
Hurt me again
I can do worse to you
Cry for your lost friend
She's gone, and you're through

it is very defiant and i like it.

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Fly, Blackbird, fly

Into the light of the dark black night.