When You Look At Me, What Do You See? - Page 3 - EvBoard

XxFallen95 · 09-04-2004, 05:40 PM

"Mislead" was amazing. I loved reading it. Everything flowed and it was very passionate.

Tito · 09-04-2004, 05:59 PM

I like your poems.

But havent u make a mistake? Because there are 2 poems that are the same.

"Voice in My Head" and "My Suicide Note To You" are the same

Nd Zodiac · 09-04-2004, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by **Eyes_of_lonliness**

"Too Busy To Notice"

She is sitting right beside you
Look at her and you'll see her cry
The beauty you see, she doesn't...
You've known her for so long
But in a way, you don't really know her

So there she sits with her CD player
Wiping away silent tear after tear
Why don't you open your eyes and help her
She's been quietly screaming out for you
.. but your too busy to listen

Your too busy for your best friend
She almost didn't make it last night
I bet you didn't know that though
Look at her... save her life
Look at me... save my life

****************************************

"Mislead"

You fucked with the mind
And messed with the head
Locked us up in a room
And pronounced us dead

You crawled into our heads
To make us relive all of our fears
You left us to bathe in blood
You left us to bathe in tears

Tie us up with your hatred
And blind us away from truth
We are not what you want
Just a part of the mislead youth

Pour your acid onto the dirt
And I'd lick it up, for you
Yell at me, tell me I am worthless
I'll believe it, what else am I to do

Tell me I am nothing
I'm just a waste of skin
Tell me I am nothing
Nothing more, just a sin

Take away all of my dreams
And hide them under your own
You always put yours first
What was I thinking?! I should've known...

Tie me up with your hatred
And blind me away from truth
For I am simply not what you wanted
Just a part of the mislead youth

I know exactly what you are talking about, I found myself in your poems.Your poems are so much better then mine

,maybe you can give me some tips

, I put my poems in the thread "Just a song.." and "A little different love poems

" hope you read them *please*.
Greatz
Nd

**Eyes_of_lonliness** · 09-06-2004, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XxFallen95

"Mislead" was amazing. I loved reading it. Everything flowed and it was very passionate.

Thank you very much XxFallen95, i am glad you liked it! I'll try to add more later!

SoulNightmare · 09-06-2004, 03:11 PM

wow eyes i love your work. the way you describe how your feeling. so amazing. you've really touched my heart

. i write a lot of stuff to and ill be posting it soon when i have time.ttyl

GREAT JOB!!!!!

dancing.in.rain · 09-06-2004, 03:51 PM

more coming soon? hehe

**Eyes_of_lonliness** · 09-06-2004, 07:32 PM

lol oops. i didnt noticed that...thanks. i accidently copy and pasted the same poem...My Suicide Note To you isnt the same...so im on my way to putting up the RIGHT poem there...so next time anyone visits...it will be corrected

wow...i cant believe i did that and didnt even notice!!

Tito · 09-07-2004, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by **Eyes_of_lonliness**

"My Suicide Note To You"

I'm sorry that when you get this
i will probably already be gone
but i just wanted you to know
I'll still be with you from now on

i may not be with you
physically, but in spirit
and when i whisper "i love you"
in your dreams, i hope you hear it

but i wish i had the courage
to tell you to your face
but nothing will change that I've lived
my life believing I'm a disgrace

i don't want this to hurt you
because i don't want you to cry
i don't want to blame yourself
because i lived wanting to die

whenever you feel a rain drop
i want you to know it's because i miss you
whenever you see the sun set and rise
i want you to know it's because i love you

we always said we had good communication
and even in my death i hope we always do
so this is my good-bye, dear love
this is my suicide note to you

"My Suicide Note To You" was amazing. I loved it.
Realy great.

**Eyes_of_lonliness** · 09-08-2004, 04:26 PM

Hey thank you so much Tito!

**Eyes_of_lonliness** · 10-04-2004, 11:51 PM

This poem isnt done... I just wanted some feedback on what I have as of right now...so PLEASE critique this!

_____
When you look at me… what do you see?
Do you really see someone special?
I’ve gone through most of my life
Believing that there was no hope for me

When you look at me… what do you see?
Do you see someone you could spend your life with?
Or just someone you will soon forget
…Because all I’ll say is I can never forget you

When you look at me… what do you see?
Do you see the loser I’ve made myself to be?
Or can you look past that to where no one else has
Do you know me better then anyone else does?

When you look at me… what do you see?
Just another person among the rest
Or do you see me as someone important
The kind of person you couldn’t live without

When you look at me… What do you see?
Some girl no different from the last
Or can I be the one girl you’ll never forget
…No matter how hard you try

09-08-2004, 04:26 PM	#29 (permalink)
Eyes_of_lonliness n00blet Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Illinois Age: 19 Posts: 20 Points: 105.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 105.00 Donate	Hey thank you so much Tito! Last edited by Diamon : 11-01-2005 at 10:58 AM.

10-04-2004, 11:51 PM	#30 (permalink)
Eyes_of_lonliness n00blet Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Illinois Age: 19 Posts: 20 Points: 105.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 105.00 Donate	When You Look At Me, What Do You See? This poem isnt done... I just wanted some feedback on what I have as of right now...so PLEASE critique this! _____ When you look at me… what do you see? Do you really see someone special? I’ve gone through most of my life Believing that there was no hope for me When you look at me… what do you see? Do you see someone you could spend your life with? Or just someone you will soon forget …Because all I’ll say is I can never forget you When you look at me… what do you see? Do you see the loser I’ve made myself to be? Or can you look past that to where no one else has Do you know me better then anyone else does? When you look at me… what do you see? Just another person among the rest Or do you see me as someone important The kind of person you couldn’t live without When you look at me… What do you see? Some girl no different from the last Or can I be the one girl you’ll never forget …No matter how hard you try

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09-04-2004, 05:40 PM	#21 (permalink)
XxFallen95 Junior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: MA Posts: 115 Points: 233.93 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 233.93 Donate	"Mislead" was amazing. I loved reading it. Everything flowed and it was very passionate.

09-04-2004, 05:59 PM	#22 (permalink)
Tito Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: VFX Age: 21 Posts: 41 Points: 104.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 104.00 Donate	I like your poems. But havent u make a mistake? Because there are 2 poems that are the same. "Voice in My Head" and "My Suicide Note To You" are the same

09-06-2004, 03:11 PM	#25 (permalink)
SoulNightmare Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: New York Age: 23 Posts: 32 Points: 109.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 109.00 Donate	wow eyes i love your work. the way you describe how your feeling. so amazing. you've really touched my heart . i write a lot of stuff to and ill be posting it soon when i have time.ttyl GREAT JOB!!!!!

09-06-2004, 03:51 PM	#26 (permalink)
dancing.in.rain n00blet Join Date: Aug 2004 Age: 21 Posts: 12 Points: 111.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 111.00 Donate	more coming soon? hehe

09-06-2004, 07:32 PM	#27 (permalink)
Eyes_of_lonliness n00blet Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Illinois Age: 19 Posts: 20 Points: 105.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 105.00 Donate	lol oops. i didnt noticed that...thanks. i accidently copy and pasted the same poem...My Suicide Note To you isnt the same...so im on my way to putting up the RIGHT poem there...so next time anyone visits...it will be corrected wow...i cant believe i did that and didnt even notice!!

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