Why Jack is better than Chuck. - Page 3 - EvBoard

TearsofShadows · 04-12-2006, 09:51 AM

yes, cause jack bauer gives really bad gas when he's mad..

Dice · 04-12-2006, 09:53 AM

Norris plans to give him back to his family this evening. And they won't be able to tell the difference.

Elias · 04-12-2006, 02:24 PM

Chuck just tried to watch his ass for fun. The resulting roundhouse kick from him twisting to watch his own ass just knocked Jack into the next century.

Mare · 04-12-2006, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds.

That made me laugh out lound. Haha, good stuff.

Shape · 04-22-2006, 06:19 PM

Jack Bauer actually wrote an episode of Three's Company in which there was no misunderstanding in the plot.

On Jack Bauer's say-so, the film Gigli would cease sucking.

A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.

Jack Bauer's nickname for Chuck Norris is "Aloysius Q. Vagina-Muffin".

Elias · 04-22-2006, 08:05 PM

I find your heretical lack of faith in Chuck Norris quite disturbing. Chuck knows who you are. You should be afraid.

Jack Bauer?

If Chuck was gay, his name would be Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer ate five times his weight in terrorists. Chuck Norris then belched him up.

The fact you are still reading at this point proves Chuck's mercy. Or perhaps he's just bored - don't make any sudden moves.

You should be thankful Chuck has spared you. But don't feel ashamed. Heck, even God owes Chuck favors.

TearsofShadows · 04-23-2006, 12:21 AM

Chuck'll unscramble Jack's eggs in the morning..

Shape · 04-27-2006, 03:21 PM

The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music.

**Katya** · 04-27-2006, 03:38 PM

Wrong, my Elias friend. If JACK BAUER were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Also, he named his cat Chuck Norris. Why? Because he's a pussy.

In 96 hours, Jack has killed 93 people, saved the world four times, and come back from the dead twice. WTF have YOU done with your life?

Elias · 04-27-2006, 09:31 PM

Yes. It is true that Jack Bauer is a pussy. That is exactly why he named his cat after Chuck Norris - for a constant reminder and inspiration in the hope that he might someday aspire to be half the badass that Chuck Norris was born into this universe being.

The only reason Jack killed all those people and had to save the world was because he was the one who let it all get out of control in the first place while "daddy" was taking his yearly cat-nap and he didn't want to get spanked.

Who's Jack's "daddy" you ask? I think we all know the answer to that one!

And as for ME....

I've done the only noble thing a man can do in this life....

I've become a hard-core Chuck Norris proselyte.

04-12-2006, 09:53 AM	#22 (permalink)
Dice Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Age: 22 Posts: 508 Points: 3,903.50 Bank: 1,295.69 Total Points: 5,199.19 Donate	Norris plans to give him back to his family this evening. And they won't be able to tell the difference. __________________ Is it a really evil-looking doorstep? ◦◦◦◦◦◦◦

04-12-2006, 02:24 PM	#23 (permalink)
Elias Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Are you following me? Age: 37 Posts: 196 Points: 3,433.99 Bank: 26,385.29 Total Points: 29,819.28 Donate	Chuck just tried to watch his ass for fun. The resulting roundhouse kick from him twisting to watch his own ass just knocked Jack into the next century. __________________ Out of the darkness, into your light, out of my blindness and into your sight...

04-22-2006, 08:05 PM	#26 (permalink)
Elias Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Are you following me? Age: 37 Posts: 196 Points: 3,433.99 Bank: 26,385.29 Total Points: 29,819.28 Donate	I find your heretical lack of faith in Chuck Norris quite disturbing. Chuck knows who you are. You should be afraid. Jack Bauer? If Chuck was gay, his name would be Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer ate five times his weight in terrorists. Chuck Norris then belched him up. The fact you are still reading at this point proves Chuck's mercy. Or perhaps he's just bored - don't make any sudden moves. You should be thankful Chuck has spared you. But don't feel ashamed. Heck, even God owes Chuck favors. __________________ Out of the darkness, into your light, out of my blindness and into your sight...

04-27-2006, 03:38 PM	#29 (permalink)
Katya Outcast Genius Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Boston University/CT Age: 21 Posts: 6,186 Points: 5,332.77 Bank: 1,937,715.97 Total Points: 1,943,048.74 Donate	Wrong, my Elias friend. If JACK BAUER were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. Also, he named his cat Chuck Norris. Why? Because he's a pussy. In 96 hours, Jack has killed 93 people, saved the world four times, and come back from the dead twice. WTF have YOU done with your life? __________________

04-27-2006, 09:31 PM	#30 (permalink)
Elias Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Are you following me? Age: 37 Posts: 196 Points: 3,433.99 Bank: 26,385.29 Total Points: 29,819.28 Donate	Yes. It is true that Jack Bauer is a pussy. That is exactly why he named his cat after Chuck Norris - for a constant reminder and inspiration in the hope that he might someday aspire to be half the badass that Chuck Norris was born into this universe being. The only reason Jack killed all those people and had to save the world was because he was the one who let it all get out of control in the first place while "daddy" was taking his yearly cat-nap and he didn't want to get spanked. Who's Jack's "daddy" you ask? I think we all know the answer to that one! And as for ME.... I've done the only noble thing a man can do in this life.... I've become a hard-core Chuck Norris proselyte. __________________ Out of the darkness, into your light, out of my blindness and into your sight...

04-22-2006, 06:19 PM	#25 (permalink)
Shape ¬¬ Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: San Jose, California Age: 26 Posts: 4,580 Points: 22,432.79 Bank: 490,814.67 Total Points: 513,247.46 Donate	Jack Bauer actually wrote an episode of Three's Company in which there was no misunderstanding in the plot. On Jack Bauer's say-so, the film Gigli would cease sucking. A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. Jack Bauer's nickname for Chuck Norris is "Aloysius Q. Vagina-Muffin".

04-27-2006, 03:21 PM	#28 (permalink)
Shape ¬¬ Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: San Jose, California Age: 26 Posts: 4,580 Points: 22,432.79 Bank: 490,814.67 Total Points: 513,247.46 Donate	The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music.

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