Why Jack is better than Chuck. - EvBoard

Shape · 04-08-2006, 10:48 PM

When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down.

Jack Bauer can squeeze through spaces that would make a spider claustrophobic.

After receiving repeated roundhouse kicks to the head from Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer was heard to ask,"Can you go a bit lower? I was crammed in an air conditioning duct between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. and my back is killing me."

Jack Bauer can eat five times his body weight in terrorists.

Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds.

Jack Bauer doesn't use Viagra, Viagra uses Jack Bauer.

As a Kid on Halloween Jack Bauer was given pennies instead of candy by a neighbor, that neighbor? Jimmy Hoffa.

Jack Bauer killed J.R.

Sonny Bono once cut Jack Bauer off while skiing. Once.

At railroad crossings, trains stop for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer knows what you did in Vegas.

The government started Daylight Savings Time so Jack Bauer could rest.

Jack Bauer doesn't get haircuts, he just simply tells his hair not to grow.

When Jesus gets scared he prays to Jack Bauer.

Last years Tsunami was not a result of an earthquake like reported, however, was a result of Jack Bauer entering a cannon ball competition.

**fearlesst15** · 04-08-2006, 10:53 PM

so, uh, this is what you do with your saturday nights?

sweet.

Shape · 04-08-2006, 10:59 PM

wow. Im flattered you thought I came up with them.

and it's 8:00. very early.

Dice · 04-09-2006, 10:21 AM

This did nothing for me. Jack is still a wuzz nobody in my eyes. Especially compared to the Chuck.

Sorry Shape

Sophia · 04-09-2006, 10:31 AM

"saaaave Us Jack, Saaaaaave Us!"

Rika :-) · 04-09-2006, 10:32 AM

You guys know nothing. Jack and Chuck both suck. Kiefer and Walker rock.

Dice · 04-09-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisathewitch

You guys know nothing. Jack and Chuck both suck. Kiefer and Walker rock.

Grrl. Go take a loooong and hard look in the mirror.

**Katya** · 04-09-2006, 10:49 AM

Pffft. *shuns Dice*

Jack Bauer owns you. That is all.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.
Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

Mah source

Floating Lily · 04-09-2006, 11:18 AM

Jack Bauer thinks of the children.

Rika :-) · 04-09-2006, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dice

Grrl. Go take a loooong and hard look in the mirror.

I don't really like KoRn, you know. Especially when they offer me something long and hard.

04-08-2006, 10:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shape ¬¬ Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: San Jose, California Age: 26 Posts: 4,580 Points: 22,432.79 Bank: 490,814.67 Total Points: 513,247.46 Donate	Why Jack is better than Chuck. When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down. Jack Bauer can squeeze through spaces that would make a spider claustrophobic. After receiving repeated roundhouse kicks to the head from Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer was heard to ask,"Can you go a bit lower? I was crammed in an air conditioning duct between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. and my back is killing me." Jack Bauer can eat five times his body weight in terrorists. Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds. Jack Bauer doesn't use Viagra, Viagra uses Jack Bauer. As a Kid on Halloween Jack Bauer was given pennies instead of candy by a neighbor, that neighbor? Jimmy Hoffa. Jack Bauer killed J.R. Sonny Bono once cut Jack Bauer off while skiing. Once. At railroad crossings, trains stop for Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer knows what you did in Vegas. The government started Daylight Savings Time so Jack Bauer could rest. Jack Bauer doesn't get haircuts, he just simply tells his hair not to grow. When Jesus gets scared he prays to Jack Bauer. Last years Tsunami was not a result of an earthquake like reported, however, was a result of Jack Bauer entering a cannon ball competition. Last edited by ShapeShifter : 04-08-2006 at 11:11 PM.

04-08-2006, 10:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shape ¬¬ Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: San Jose, California Age: 26 Posts: 4,580 Points: 22,432.79 Bank: 490,814.67 Total Points: 513,247.46 Donate	wow. Im flattered you thought I came up with them. and it's 8:00. very early. Last edited by ShapeShifter : 04-08-2006 at 11:12 PM.

04-09-2006, 10:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
Dice Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Norway Age: 22 Posts: 508 Points: 3,903.50 Bank: 1,295.69 Total Points: 5,199.19 Donate	This did nothing for me. Jack is still a wuzz nobody in my eyes. Especially compared to the Chuck. Sorry Shape __________________ Is it a really evil-looking doorstep? ◦◦◦◦◦◦◦

04-09-2006, 10:31 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sophia greek harlot Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Calgary, AB Posts: 566 Points: 2,025.79 Bank: 1,173,324.33 Total Points: 1,175,350.12 Donate	"saaaave Us Jack, Saaaaaave Us!" __________________ -Sophia All of us have a secret. One of us is a hero. One of us is a fraud. One of us is a junkie. One of us is a cop. One of us is a saint. One of is a sinner. One of us is a martyr. One of us is a murderer. All of us are guilty. All of us are Lost.

04-09-2006, 10:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
Rika :-) Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: L-city Age: 22 Posts: 804 Points: 3,060.73 Bank: 77,869.44 Total Points: 80,930.17 Donate	You guys know nothing. Jack and Chuck both suck. Kiefer and Walker rock. __________________ Lisathewitch is away. WhisperedVoices. Go there. Now.

04-08-2006, 10:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
fearlesst15 Fast Fingers Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: NY Age: 20 Posts: 1,635 Points: 12.90 Bank: 2,307,716.67 Total Points: 2,307,729.57 Donate	so, uh, this is what you do with your saturday nights? sweet.

04-09-2006, 10:49 AM	#8 (permalink)
Katya Outcast Genius Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Boston University/CT Age: 21 Posts: 6,186 Points: 5,332.77 Bank: 1,937,715.97 Total Points: 1,943,048.74 Donate	Pffft. shuns Dice Jack Bauer owns you. That is all. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed. Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer". Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him. The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. Mah source __________________ Last edited by Katya : 04-09-2006 at 10:52 AM.

04-09-2006, 11:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
Floating Lily Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Ireland Age: 17 Posts: 861 Points: 1,045.10 Bank: 201.32 Total Points: 1,246.42 Donate	Jack Bauer thinks of the children.

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