writtings of mine - Page 4 - EvBoard

~river~ · 03-25-2008, 12:38 AM

thanks again steph

Back to the wall
standing still in this
chaotic world.

a quickened pulse i know
i know i can't breathe
and for now
i don't care

for all i want
for all i dream

is my way out
to a hot summer day
of a quiter place
a place i can call
my home

daylight surrender
fall into my hazy fanasty
let the terror commence
again

as i open
these sorrowful eys
as i close
this pilaged mind

sweet summer surrender
i would give myself
body and soul

~river~ · 04-02-2008, 07:14 PM

It's a long time coming
this sunlight day
each night I'd sleep
& dream of how
you would consume me
fill my darkest corner
with your radiating beauty
a wholesome glow
I'd be alive
inside and out
tonight I'll sleep
and dream of you
sunlight glory
consume my soul
I'll burn
be ashes
but once
I'd be whole

Shivercide · 04-03-2008, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~river~

It's a long time coming
this sunlight day
each night I'd sleep
& dream of how
you would consume me
fill my darkest corner
with your radiating beauty
a wholesome glow
I'd be alive
inside and out
tonight I'll sleep
and dream of you
sunlight glory
consume my soul
I'll burn
be ashes
but once
I'd be whole

Wow, that is just amazing... and it hits me so hard because I definitely can relate. <3

Silver Wing · 04-03-2008, 02:27 AM

River -

I think your poetry is quite good, reminds me in many ways of some of Emily Dickenson's pre-modernist work. You do a great job of weaving images together, and while I'm not usually a huge fan of free verse, I think you do a good job of creating and sustaining a mood without being overly verbose, which free verse can sometimes do.

I hope you're saving a hardcopy of these somewhere, they really show a lot of promise!

~river~ · 04-06-2008, 09:05 PM

feeling the cold
i can't find this light
in this frozen sun
i can't find the warmth
in your embrace

my limbs ache
but i can't stop running
from the things i now know

falling into this trance
a dream of dispair of you
your heart never open

you never needed me
the way i breathe for you
always one step away
even when you hold me near
i cannot move closer

hold me tight

chase my dreams away

Sweet Tigger · 04-07-2008, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~river~

feeling the cold
i can't find this light
in this frozen sun
i can't find the warmth
in your embrace

my limbs ache
but i can't stop running
from the things i now know

falling into this trance
a dream of dispair of you
your heart never open

you never needed me
the way i breathe for you
always one step away
even when you hold me near
i cannot move closer

hold me tight

chase my dreams away

Wow Shannon....
This is just amazing!
Reading this, I can just feel every feeling, and emotion, and picture
everything that is said.
This is simply sensational.
Beautiful, touching, deep, and powerful.
I love the way, you word everything, and put it all together!!
<3

~river~ · 04-09-2008, 06:42 PM

i am flame
untouched by you
but i bring
the colour~ the life
to your eyes

i am flame
untaimed beauty
but maimed by your
lack of wonder~ your carelessness
you show no love

flame bright i have
one chance
a chance
to ignite
create something
more then one small
spark
vulnerable
spark

my cares are carried away
on the wind
cold east breeze
carry me home

my flame untaimed
forever for i am
more then a vulnerable spark
my flame will rise
ill be warmth and colour
to your eyes

Princess Mary · 04-09-2008, 07:54 PM

^ I like! You have a way with words, really you do.

~river~ · 04-10-2008, 06:59 PM

the setting sun
on this last day
i left my fears
and walked away
a doubting fool
i could have stayed

a new horizon
while not clear
seems much more vivid
to these colour blind eyes
remove the blindfold
placed by innocent hands
the noose around
my love starved heart

in desparation tore apart
the new horizon
far and wide
a needy begar
i could have waited
for you take me there

the blindfold gone
my heart released
vivid skies will guide way
eyes now open
eyes now seeing

03-25-2008, 12:38 AM	#31 (permalink)
~river~ I iz st00pid lyke whut? Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,630 Points: 971.07 Bank: 75,424.21 Total Points: 76,395.28 Donate	thanks again steph Back to the wall standing still in this chaotic world. a quickened pulse i know i know i can't breathe and for now i don't care for all i want for all i dream is my way out to a hot summer day of a quiter place a place i can call my home daylight surrender fall into my hazy fanasty let the terror commence again as i open these sorrowful eys as i close this pilaged mind sweet summer surrender i would give myself body and soul __________________ Loneliness be over,When will this loneliness be over? Life will flash before my eyes So scattered and lost, I want to touch the other side, And no one thinks they are to blame

04-02-2008, 07:14 PM	#32 (permalink)
~river~ I iz st00pid lyke whut? Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,630 Points: 971.07 Bank: 75,424.21 Total Points: 76,395.28 Donate	It's a long time coming this sunlight day each night I'd sleep & dream of how you would consume me fill my darkest corner with your radiating beauty a wholesome glow I'd be alive inside and out tonight I'll sleep and dream of you sunlight glory consume my soul I'll burn be ashes but once I'd be whole __________________ Loneliness be over,When will this loneliness be over? Life will flash before my eyes So scattered and lost, I want to touch the other side, And no one thinks they are to blame

04-06-2008, 09:05 PM	#35 (permalink)
~river~ I iz st00pid lyke whut? Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,630 Points: 971.07 Bank: 75,424.21 Total Points: 76,395.28 Donate	feeling the cold i can't find this light in this frozen sun i can't find the warmth in your embrace my limbs ache but i can't stop running from the things i now know falling into this trance a dream of dispair of you your heart never open you never needed me the way i breathe for you always one step away even when you hold me near i cannot move closer hold me tight chase my dreams away __________________ Loneliness be over,When will this loneliness be over? Life will flash before my eyes So scattered and lost, I want to touch the other side, And no one thinks they are to blame

04-09-2008, 06:42 PM	#37 (permalink)
~river~ I iz st00pid lyke whut? Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,630 Points: 971.07 Bank: 75,424.21 Total Points: 76,395.28 Donate	one chance flame i am flame untouched by you but i bring the colour~ the life to your eyes i am flame untaimed beauty but maimed by your lack of wonder~ your carelessness you show no love flame bright i have one chance a chance to ignite create something more then one small spark vulnerable spark my cares are carried away on the wind cold east breeze carry me home my flame untaimed forever for i am more then a vulnerable spark my flame will rise ill be warmth and colour to your eyes __________________ Loneliness be over,When will this loneliness be over? Life will flash before my eyes So scattered and lost, I want to touch the other side, And no one thinks they are to blame

04-09-2008, 07:54 PM	#38 (permalink)
Princess Mary Miss Turunen Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Pleasuring Tarja Under The Bedsheets And Watching Her Toes Curl Age: 24 Posts: 3,621 Points: 18.24 Bank: 215,001.76 Total Points: 215,020.00 Donate	^ I like! You have a way with words, really you do. __________________

04-03-2008, 02:27 AM	#34 (permalink)
Silver Wing Ender without his jewel. Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 363 Points: 914.22 Bank: 26,686.72 Total Points: 27,600.94 Donate	River - I think your poetry is quite good, reminds me in many ways of some of Emily Dickenson's pre-modernist work. You do a great job of weaving images together, and while I'm not usually a huge fan of free verse, I think you do a good job of creating and sustaining a mood without being overly verbose, which free verse can sometimes do. I hope you're saving a hardcopy of these somewhere, they really show a lot of promise!

04-10-2008, 06:59 PM	#39 (permalink)
~river~ I iz st00pid lyke whut? Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: at the heart of your darkest nightmares and deepest desires Age: 20 Posts: 1,630 Points: 971.07 Bank: 75,424.21 Total Points: 76,395.28 Donate	blindfold and noose the setting sun on this last day i left my fears and walked away a doubting fool i could have stayed a new horizon while not clear seems much more vivid to these colour blind eyes remove the blindfold placed by innocent hands the noose around my love starved heart in desparation tore apart the new horizon far and wide a needy begar i could have waited for you take me there the blindfold gone my heart released vivid skies will guide way eyes now open eyes now seeing __________________ Loneliness be over,When will this loneliness be over? Life will flash before my eyes So scattered and lost, I want to touch the other side, And no one thinks they are to blame

04-10-2008, 07:07 PM	#40 (permalink)
Dad2leia Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Glenshaw, PA Age: 37 Posts: 169 Points: 134.16 Bank: 5